Category Archives: lame

Two-Lame Highway

Or is it Too Lame? You decide. Regular readers (hi, Mom!) know I have been struggling for blog topics this week. Of course I haven’t worried about Friday, because, you know, Lame Post Friday: Random Observations and Half-Baked Philosophy. Well, I intend to write my Friday post on Thursday (today), because I will be pressed for time on Friday. So I thought, I’ll just write a marathon lame post, type it all in, divide it in half and voila! Two posts for the price of one! Is that cheating? NO!!! This is my blog! I make up the rules (usually as I go along)!

That was a longish introduction to an admittedly lame post (random observation #1?). Speaking of introductions, here’s an oxymoron (my favorite kind of moron): the MC who introduces somebody “who needs no introduction.”

The other day when I was running, a car drove by me with a dog sitting on the driver’s lap. At least, I couldn’t see the driver. The dog could have been driving the car, which is not the same thing as the inmates running the asylum. It was a cute dog.

Whenever I write a running post I always think later, “I didn’t even say anything about…” or “I forgot to mention…” Then again, my running posts tend to run longer than my actual runs, so I suppose that is all right.

It is a well-known fact that if you think too much about what you are going to write, when you finally sit down to write, you will not be able to pen a single word. But I say if you don’t think enough about what you are going to write, you may not be able to write either. Or what you do write will be self-indulgent nonsense. Um, yeah, kind of like my lame posts. Where was I going with this?

On an unrelated side note: I may not be going away this weekend and if I do go away, my house will not be left unoccupied, unobserved, unguarded, unprotected. And even if it was, I have nothing worth stealing. So if any unscrupulous people troll blog posts looking for people who are going away in order to rob their houses, don’t bother. And if you don’t believe me and do bother, clean the place up while you’re there. You know, do the dishes, scrub the toilet. Maybe clean out the refrigerator. You can just throw away anything growing fur. Don’t forget to take the trash out. (Is that as good a deterrent as, “I’m home cleaning my guns and training my vicious guard dogs with my good friend the Chief of Police”?)

An observation related to the side note: people are often on Facebook “checking in” places. In other words, advertising they’re not home. My sister’s answering machine at one point said, “We’re not home; leave a message.” I gave her a stern talking to about security. My niece’s response (and for some reason I never suspected this niece of having such a fine sense of sarcasm) was to change the message to, “We’re not home and the door’s unlocked.” I think they have one of those generic ones that come with the machine now. I don’t call my sisters very often. Shall I go into some half-baked philosophy about appreciating family? I think not.

That reminds me of my favorite intellectual joke. The waiter asks Descartes if he’s ready to order. Descartes says, “I think not,” and vanishes in a puff of logic.

And on that note, I sign off, looking forward to Friday, which is sooner than you may think.

Dithering on the Run

I had previously made a note to myself to don’t go five days without running. This being Lame Post Friday, I could go into some half-baked philosophy about setting high goals and not being up to ideals. Maybe later in the post.

I knew it would be a good idea to go running on Thursday after work, even though I had an Ilion Little Theatre Board Meeting (did I mention I’m their new secretary?) and several things to get done before that (note the use of “would be a good idea;” some of you may perhaps remember my half-baked philosophy about “should” and “ought to”). However, as my afternoon at work progressed, the heat and humidity increased. Oh dear. What have I learned about running when the weather is good, because we don’t know what tomorrow will bring? Many of us do not always act on lessons learned. I further philosophized half-bakedly that there really wasn’t that much difference between five days and six days, was there?

When I got home, I parked across the street, two doors down, since I had to leave again later. As I walked to the house, I thought, “This isn’t bad. I can rock this.” By the time I was suited up and out the door, the sun had come back out. As I started running, the humidity kicked back in.

Well, I didn’t have to go for a long run, and I didn’t have to go for a fast run, and I certainly did not have to attempt any hills. I shuffled along and lived with it. I’ve run in worse. Anyways, I told myself, it might be hot for the DARE 5K and the Superhero Sprint, both of which are in August.

A lady going into the bank said to me, “It’s too hot for that!”

“I know,” I answered. “But I didn’t run earlier in the week when it was cooler!”

As I continued down Main Street, I pondered my evening’s obligations. My library books were due. I had finished all but one. I had thought to return them on the way to my meeting, possibly renewing the one I hadn’t finished online (I’m slowly getting the hang of this online library thing). But would I leave the house in time? Maybe I should walk to the library with Tabby to return the books. I could be my cool down walk. Hmmm. Walking with four hardcover books. Tabby can’t go in the library anyways. I should drive. Was it too hot to take Tabby in the truck? What about my cool down walk? What time did the library close? As I ran by the library, I ran up to the door and looked. Five o’clock. If I put my books in the night depository after that time, wouldn’t that be like returning them a day late? I couldn’t risk it!

After the third or fourth calculation of “If I run for X minutes, then cool down, grab the books drive to the library, walk in all sweaty and gross…” I finally thought, “Stupid! Just renew all the books online. You don’t have to keep the ones you’ve read for two more weeks. You can return them at any time.”

I felt much better about everything after I had come to that decision. I made sure I got online and hit “renew” before 5 p.m., just to be on the safe side.

My run was not long, but I felt it was long enough to count. As I returned home I counted, “Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.” I hadn’t gone five days without running! I had only gone four! I was vindicated on all fronts, except, you know, doing the math.

Well, looking over what I have written, I believe this is a worthy addition to my Lame Friday Post collection. No random observations, but plenty of half-baked philosophy and with all my dithering about library books, I would say definitely lame. Happy Friday, everyone!

Lame Before the Boilermaker

I’ve been off all week, so you wouldn’t think I would feel the need for a lame post Friday. I don’t know why you wouldn’t think that. How long have you known me? Then again, why do I flatter myself that anybody thinks about me at all?

Be that as it may, I’m sitting at my keyboard typing whatever comes to mind for today’s post. Later today I must head to Utica, NY, to Mohawk Valley Community College (MVCC) for the fabulous Boilermaker Expo, to pick up my runner’s packet for the Boilermaker 15K road race, which I am to run the day after tomorrow. Yikes! (That “Yikes” was for the Boilermaker, not the preceding potential run-on sentence, although I don’t think it is. If you do, diagram it and get back to me.)

I ran thirty minutes this morning and intend to run twenty minutes tomorrow. I took a short walk with my schnoodle, Tabby, and plan to take another this evening. I shall also take some walks tomorrow. And hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. I don’t know if my preparations and training have been sufficient, but we shall find out.

I must ask (stay tuned for some half-baked philosophy): sufficient for what? To improve my time from two years ago? But I have said many times, running the Boilermaker is not about the time but about the experience. To enjoy it more at the time? Perhaps, but I really do expect to enjoy it considerably at the time no matter what. Even if I feel completely ate up (as we used to say in the army), I shall be upheld by my determination to finish. And encouraged by the spectators and other runners, no doubt. To not feel completely awful afterwards? That is a worthy goal. Then again, there’s rest and Gator Ade. And my sister’s pool. I should be OK.

This morning’s OD (a publication which is also doing a version of All Boilermaker All The Time) had an article about how the middle of the pack is the place to be. I thought, “Great, that’s me.” As I read, however, I had to admit, that is not me. The middle of the pack clocked in at one hour, twenty-eight minutes (and some seconds). My last time was one hour, forty-six minutes (and some seconds). That’s a double digit difference (some of you are now saying, “I can do the math, Cindy). I am clearly in the latter half of the pack. Well, for an out of shape, middle aged woman such as myself, I don’t think that is a bad place to be (I guess that’s more half-baked philosophy).

To round out my Friday Lame Post, I will include a couple of random observations I made during this week’s runs.

On the sidewalk ahead of me I saw what looked like a red and white striped stick. Or was it red and white spray painted on the sidewalk? As I got closer, the stripes widened and resolved themselves into a chalk drawing of an American flag. I just love all the sidewalk chalk I see when I’m walking and running. For one thing, I love color. And it’s something different to look at if I’m running the same sidewalks over and over.

I saw a bay window with some insulation scrunchily piled on the sill. What was that all about? Aren’t you supposed to put decorative things in a bay window? That’s as bad as the porches (screened-in and regular) I see with all kinds of junk piled on them. I understand catch-alls as well as the next pack rat, but I believe in enjoying one’s porch.

I see I am up to 600 words, which is a respectable post for me. Tomorrow I will probably talk about the Expo and after that, more things Boilermaker. I believe the Boilermaker counts as a major Mohawk Valley adventure.

Sorry, St. Anthony

I have to take Lame Post Friday a day early this week. I was writing about St. Anthony’s festival when I realized I did not remember much about it other than the sausage and pepper sandwich I ate and that the band and DJ were both awfully loud (then again, I always think the music is loud). Oh, and I remember a few nice people petting Tabby. But I don’t remember the name of the band or what all kinds of booths they had besides what we actually ate (there were even other food booths, I seem to recall).

I feel really stupid! I remember giving a shout-out to St. Anthony’s Festival last year and having no problem writing the post. I know, I should go back and read that post, then look for the festival program we picked up this year, THEN write the post. But I’m at work (on a break, of course), so I can’t check these things now. And later I will not have time, because I must prepare to meet Steven for today’s Mohawk Valley adventure. And since that adventure may involve beer and staying out till 8 p.m. or later, I can’t count on writing the post afterwards. So you see my problem.

If ever there was a time for random observations and half-baked philosophy, this is it. So do you think I can come up with anything. NO!!! It’s a wrist to forehead situation.

Actually, we can extrapolate a number of observations just from the situation I described. First observation: I care more about sausage and pepper sandwiches than festival booths and band names. Second observation: I have a cute dog that nice people like to pet. Third observation: I can almost always get a post about not being able to write a post.

I can work up some half-baked philosophy around my exclamation of “I feel really stupid!” First of all (and this is also a not-so-random observation): nobody is perfect. It is counter-productive to leap to insulting global statements based upon one’s inability to recall specific details (I rather like that last sentence). Then again, I didn’t say I am stupid. I said I felt stupid. And sometimes you just have to feel a certain way until you don’t feel that way any more.

How I feel right now is that I have done wrong in writing a Lame Post on a Thursday. Fridays are for Lame Posts. Then again, this week my Friday may not be a Friday, because I might have to work on Saturday. And astute readers (if any) will have picked up on the fact that I have a Mohawk Valley adventure planned for tonight. I can write about that on Friday. Or even refresh my memory and write about St. Anthony’s Festival. The possibilities are endless!

Today, however, I’m on a time budget. What you see is what you get. Happy Thursday, everyone.

A Lame Post Indeed

Time for another Lame Post Friday. Random observations and half-baked philosophy. Ought to be an easy day. And I just don’t feel like writing one.

So I started writing a cooking post about some salad I happened to make on Sunday, and I just don’t feel like writing that.

So I sit, pondering how could I write yet another I Don’t Feel Like Writing post. I can’t do it. For one thing, some wise ass reader (you know who you are) will ask me do I want cheese with that whine and think they are clever. Listen, twinkle toes (I love calling people twinkle toes), I first heard that joke in the ’90s, and it was old then.

But it gives me an random observation worth at least a little half-baked philosophy: other people’s complaints always sound like whining. I bet I’ve made this observation before. Could that be because I complain a lot and people are always telling me to quit whining? Say it ain’t so! (They used to say “Say it ain’t so” in the army a lot. One drill sergeant once started chanted, “Say it ain’t so, say it ain’t so,” like it was the chorus of a rap song. The Drill Sergeant Rap. Somebody ought to write that.)

So now that I’ve written a paragraph with which I am not totally displeased, I don’t feel like whining any more. I mean, I don’t whine! But, yes, I’d like some cheese.

This less than 300 words. A lame post indeed. Then again, it’s Friday. And I’ve had some Mohawk Valley adventures today! So stay tuned, for something considerably less lame. Happy Friday!

The Lame Lingers On

Yesterday I made a post just to make one, which is now what I have done both times I gave blood. In my defense, apparently they took the whole pint out of my brain. Actually, I think out of my legs too, because they got pretty wobbly (but I wasn’t woozy; see last post). All this by way of saying, I’m still feeling pretty damn lame.

I ran this morning, a good long run. Nothing blogworthy happened, but since when does that stop me? I had a couple of authentic Mohawk Valley adventures before the morning was over. And I patronized a couple of Mohawk Valley businesses. I’ve been Mohawk Valley busy! (Yeah, that was a kind of a lame thing to say. Don’t judge.)

I actually started to write a post earlier, hand writing it in a notebook before typing it into the computer, as I like to do. I couldn’t do it. Seriously, I could. Not. Make. Myself. Write. I tried! I would start a sentence, know in my head how I was going to finish it and it was just too much effort to move the pen. It was weird. I gave it up before I freaked out. This was in between my Mohawk Valley adventures and patronizing of local businesses.

That isn’t supposed to happen. When one has something to write about, shouldn’t one be able to write? I ask this rhetorically. It is rare that I have pen in hand and can’t actually put words on paper. Maybe not the words I had intended to write, but, you know, something. Right now I’m sitting here at the computer, making this up as I go along and I must say it is flowing pretty well. I may read it back to myself and reach for the backspace button. That is a recurring problem with composing at the computer.

It may be a good idea to re-think this whole Mohawk Valley Girl blog thing. After all, I have been at it for over a year now. That was my deal: I was going to post something every day for one year. I don’t know what I expected to happen after a year. Something magical, I suppose. It seems all that has happened is… I continue to post every day. I fear I shall tax the patience of my readers (I used to say “both of them” at this point, but WordPress informs me I have over 50 subscribers; that is so cool) with all these lame posts.

Then again, I always say, go with your strengths. And as another blogger observed (or was it someone commenting on her blog? Must look it up sometime), writing about not writing is still writing (it was Marble Hill Press, another WordPress blogger and a fine poet).

So I apologize if you didn’t like today’s lame post. I will attempt to be more substantial tomorrow. Hope your Saturday is going well.

I’m NOT Woozy!

Note to Self: When planning to give blood, write blog post BEFORE actually bleeding.

Last January I had a rather disastrous experience of giving blood. I had apparently not had enough to eat that morning and was suffering from what might have been a migraine (all I know for sure is that it was a headache, but people take your pain so much more seriously when you say migraine). I was so woozy I got two blog posts out of it. At that time I had signed up for a time to donate on June 1. That is today.

I had cleverly, so I thought, changed my appointment time to right after lunch. When Steven nicely packed my lunch, I asked him to make it a hearty one. Thus, a turkey sandwich and spaghetti salad. Also, some cheese, crackers, fruits and vegetables to eat at my morning break. I would be fine!

It was prior to my appointment time when I made my way to the blood drive place, but I had finished my lunch and the co-worker who is usually working the crossword puzzle at that time had taken the day off (lucky bastard). Of course it took longer than I would have liked waiting in line, but I finally got on the ancient gurney and got stuck. I stared at the ceiling and tried to see if I was feeling lightheaded.

Then I was sitting at the canteen, drinking apple juice and eating cookies. My head wasn’t feeling too great, but I knew it was an improvement from last time. I left there and got back to my machine before anybody could tell me I wasn’t looking so good.

The whole way back to my section, I repeated to myself, “I’m not woozy. I’m not woozy.” I had to admit to a little lightheadedness, but surely that was no problem. At least I wasn’t nauseous.

Until I had sat at my machine for a few minutes. I got a Gator Ade out of the machine and drank it. I would soon be as good as new. Any minute now, I would feel better. The Gator Ade was gone, as was my pocket change. I would soon feel better. I picked up my reusable bottle and headed slowly towards the drinking fountain. Water would be good. Water would make me feel better.

I confess, I was looking for one of my particular friends so I could say something like, “I don’t feel good!” and get some sympathy. I heard somebody behind me call my name. Two co-workers thought I didn’t look so good. One gave me the rest of her trail mix cookies she had gotten out of the machine. The other gave me a dollar and insisted I get a bag of his favorite trail mix, the one with bananas, raisins, nuts and other fruits. I took the goodies back to my machine and got some more water.

I have the nicest co-workers. I did feel better after I ate something. I worked slowly and somehow made it through the rest of the day. I did not, however, feel the least bit like writing anything down. I somehow managed to jot the title and opening paragraph during the 2 p.m. break. Everything else, I composed just now as I sat here typing and thinking, “Oh, I do feel better!”

It is Lame Post Friday. I am allowed to be lame. Before I wrote this, I went back and read the lame post I did on the last day I gave blood (before I wrote the two posts about being woozy). I think it was actually a little more amusing than this one. It was certainly shorter. Oh well, what the hell, as a wise woman once said (it was my mother). I can only try again tomorrow. Happy Friday, everyone!

Lame Effort?

Does anybody else look at the first page of a new notebook and hesitate before writing anything down? This was not the half-baked philosophy I had originally thought to write about, but let’s run with it for a sentence or two (for those of you just tuning in, today is Lame Post Friday, when I amuse myself and I hope others with random observations and half-baked philosophy)(and for regular readers, sorry that I boringly repeat the explanation yet again).

On a blank page I could write something brilliant or wonderful or… oh, what the hell, now I’ve written something. Now it’s just a run of the mill notebook with words in it, not a magic spiral-bound receptacle of possibility. But one thing I’ve noticed about me: I like to write. I enjoy the physical process of putting words on paper. So rather than feeling the middle-aged mix of disappointment and philosophy that happens when reality meets potential, I feel content. And pleased about my new little notebook, purchased at Hummel’s Office Plus in Herkimer, NY (I am Mohawk Valley Girl, after all). So much for that topic.

The half-baked philosophy I had meant to expound upon is, “No effort is wasted.” That phrase occurred to me at work this morning as I struggled up the stairs with my heavy bag. My bag is heavier than previously, because I switched my lunch to salad instead of sandwich. You wouldn’t think a small thermos would weigh so much more than a pita pocket (whole wheat, of course), but it totally does. But, I told myself, the extra effort will at least burn a calorie or two. No effort is wasted, I went on. Any effort can make us stronger or teach us something.

Last night I was suffering from a bit of angst and wanted to post a Facebook status of “Does anybody care if I run the stupid Boilermaker?” What I wanted to see was comments like, “Yes, we like to read your running blogs,” or “I’ll look for you on the TV coverage” (my sister Cheryl saw me on TV the first year I ran), or even, “Hell, yeah, I’m not going to run it!” What I figured I would get was things like, “Do what YOU want to do,” and “These things are meaningless unless you do them for yourself.” And I was trying to think up replies, like, “No man is an island,” and “I KNOW that BUT…” or even, “Duh.” Now that I think about it, probably nobody would be rude enough to say, “What possible good can it do ME if YOU run the Boilermaker?” But you never know.

Now I have a potential answer to my internal Boilermaker debate. No effort is wasted. If I run the Boilermaker, my effort to do so is not wasted. If I don’t run the Boilermaker, my efforts at training are not wasted. What a comforting thought. Although I can’t help thinking I’d like it if somebody else would be a little bit happy if I ran it. How lame is that?

Unsafe Lame Change

Yes, I am doing a lame post on a Wednesday. I feel it is the wrong thing to do, but I thought of that title while at work today, and, you know, it kind of fits with the wrong thing to do.

I am less than one week away from posting every day for one year. Do I think something magical is going to happen if I meet this goal? Yes, I suppose I do. Please, nobody shatter my illusions. Let me just keep going for now.

This being a Lame Post, I do have a random observation to share. As I parked in the parking lot at my place of employment this morning, I noticed a car with the windows all fogged up. I did not try to peek in at the edges, but I just couldn’t help but wonder how they got all fogged up. Yes, you can snigger, I do mean to imply something naughty.

Then I thought, maybe I can get Steven to drive me to work some morning and we can do something naughty to steam up the windows before I go into work. Wouldn’t that be nice? I could go into work with my hair all disheveled and a big smile on my face. Actually, I have messy hair and a smile many days, but now it would be for a good reason.

Imagine my chagrin when I came out to my truck to go home and the windows were entirely fogged. It was an extremely humid, rainy day. So I guess nobody was doing anything naughty. Alas. At least, I don’t think anybody broke into my truck during the course of the day for the sole purpose of doing something naughty. If they did, that might be one for World’s Dumbest Outlaws.

And speaking of World’s Dumbest, I am missing tonight’s episode as I type this. But I see I am almost up to 300 words. A respectable number of words, if not a particularly respectable post (Lame Wednesday? Naughty things? Not respectable, I’m afraid). It was kind of fun to compose. And I’m one more day closer to my goal. Happy Wednesday, everyone.

Searching for a Subject Sunday

So I have Lame Post Fridays and Middle-aged Musings Mondays (which I don’t always do, if I have anything better to say), how about Stupid Post Sundays?

The only thing I really have to talk about is Harvey at Ilion Little Theatre, which closed last night. I have a combination of Post Play Let Down and Thank God It’s Over. My readers may be heaving a sigh of relief because All Harvey All The Time is over as well. And I really feel it is over, because I don’t want to talk about that damn play any more.

I could have gone on my usual Sunday run up to HCCC (Herkimer County Community College) the front way and talked about that. After all, I did say I was segueing into All Boilermaker All The Time. I was looking over some of my first posts in which I wondered how many running posts I could get away with. It turns out, quite a lot. But I didn’t run today. At least, I suppose I could run later on, but I feel it is unlikely. Also, I want to make this post now and get on with the rest of my day.

I believe I’ve mentioned that I am approaching my one year mark in this blog. I had challenged myself to post something every day for one year. Once I have accomplished that, what? This is why I was looking over old posts earlier. I want to see where I’ve been before I decide where I’m going. I got through eleven posts so far. No insights or epiphanies so far.

When I got tired of reading (it didn’t take long), I thought I would take Tabby for a walk and write about that. It was a short, singularly uneventful walk. Prime deck sitting weather, though. I may get to that later, too, but I can’t see making a whole blog post about it.

My goal now is to do something blogworthy after Steven gets home from work, so I don’t have to resort to Middle-aged Musings Monday but can go back to my Mohawk Valley Girl mission. In the meantime, I don’t think I’ll title this Stupid Post Sunday, because I don’t feel I want to call myself stupid that loudly. You can think whatever you like quietly to yourself.