Tag Archives: Christmas presents

Maybe If I Left Out a Couple Geese A-Laying

Posted on December 22, 2017 by mohawkvalleygirl

I am even more tired now than I was on Tired Tuesday!  What the hell, me?  No matter.  I have one more day of work to get through, then I have the next week and one day off.  And only about a million and twelve things to do before Christmas on Monday.  Ooh, I randomly decided to put 1,000,012 instead of a more mundane 1,000,000, then I realized “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”  So I went ahead and changed my headline.

I had originally put, “At Least I Chopped the Celery.”  I was going to do a kind of a Scattered Thursday, because I did a bit of running around after work today, which is no doubt why I am so tired (yuh think?). However, I just realized that I cannot very well talk about where all I stopped, because I was buying Christmas presents.  The recipients MIGHT read my blog post (or do I flatter myself?) and guess what I got them!  Worse yet, they might guess wrong and get their hopes up for a better present than I actually selected.  Oh, the pain. (Yes, that is a period there, not an exclamation point; I was being Dr. Smith from Lost in Space; remember how he always said that in such a quiet, tired voice?).

So this is your basic Non-Sequitur Thursday post.  At least I got it over 200 words.  And I like the headline.  I hope to see you all again tomorrow on Lame Post Friday.

 

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It Wasn’t a BB Gun

Posted on December 15, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

In lieu of my usual Wrist to Forehead Sunday, I offer a personal Christmas Story (I was going to say a story about a Christmas present from my past, but I thought that might be getting too cute) (but that I could get away with it in a parenthetical comment).

I thought of the story after reading another blog post (once again procrastinating writing my own blog by reading others’). The blog was Return of the Modern Philosopher. The post was about buying the perfect present for a girlfriend. This is the story of the first Christmas present my husband Steven gave me.

We had just barely kind of sort of started dating in late November. In fact Steven went home for Christmas and said to his mother (as he told me later), “I think I have a girlfriend.” In the meantime I was saying to my friends, “He’s NOT my boyfriend,” largely because I did not want to jinx it (I never had many boyfriends, despite being quite the looker in those days) (no, really, I was cute, and I wore really short mini-skirts).

Steven was going to school at the time and had a couple of papers due. I remind you that these were the days before computers were common equipment for these things, so I offered to type them for him. I love to type. We arranged that he would drop them off at my apartment while I was at work. This was a new apartment I had just moved into, living alone for the first time. In fact, I was not even fully furnished.

I had told Steven the story of how I had a craving for tuna noodle casserole (my dietary needs were simple in those days). After working till nine, I walked to the grocery store and purchased the ingredients, then eagerly walked home only to find… I did not have a can-opener. I ate noodles and butter instead. It was a funnier story when I told it. I used gestures.

You probably all know where this is going. Steven dropped his papers off to me at work with a cute, self-deprecating smile, telling me he had “put a little something” in with them. Yes, it was a can-opener.

I have told that can-opener story for years. I now have a sneaking suspicion it is a funnier story when I told it. I must have used gestures.

However, it is Wrist to Forehead Sunday. Now I can go back finishing out my weekend with my wrist properly on my forehead saying, “My blog post wasn’t very funny today!”

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Once Again, I Say Too Much

Posted on December 20, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

While this is a post about Why I Can’t Write a Post Today, it is not another lament about Writer’s Block or Writer’s Blank or whatever it is I suffer from. It is a mere statement of practical considerations.

I have been Christmas shopping and plan to do more. Of course I love to plug local businesses, and this is a grand opportunity to give a few shout-outs. However, SOME people who MIGHT be receiving presents from me may POSSIBLY read this post.

Someone may suggest that I be cagey, mention the store but not the item. I could do like my Mom does and say, “I got you a … and a …” Well, my family is pretty clever. If I mention the store, they may guess the item. In fact, already I’ve said too much.

Additionally, I think it makes a better post if I tell what I purchased. It is the sort of concrete detail that makes the writing ring true. Or do I flatter myself?

My original plan was to not give presents this year. I was going to send each person a lovely handwritten note reading: “Dear (name), No present this year. You were bad. Love, Cindy Claus.” I eventually decided against it, because my handwriting is not all that good, and it really is not the sort of thing you would want to type. Perhaps a nice counted cross stitch, although I am also not very deedy in that respect (my computer is telling me “deedy” is not a word, and I cannot find it in the dictionary, but I am certain I’ve seen it used in a book) (it was a Regency Romance, so perhaps it is an archaic term)(how old must something be to be to be archaic?) (yeah, yeah, I know, how old am I — must you make such obvious jokes?).

Where was I? Ah yes, trying not to give away what I am getting people for Christmas. In pursuit of that object, I’ll shut up now.

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