Tag Archives: movies

Keeping It Lame

Posted on July 20, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

There are times when one certainly appreciates Lame Post Friday (one is me in this case). However, one must also admit (still me) that even on Lame Post Friday, one must write something.

One might think I had thoroughly hashed out the subject of How Stupid of a Post Still Counts as a Post (one is not me in this case). One might be right. On the other hand, I’m betting most of my readers don’t read every single post (but God bless you if you do!). On a third hand (using my foot as a hand?), perhaps I can think of something new to say.

Well, I think I did. Using a foot as a hand is not a silly joke I have made before. Perhaps some did not find it a particularly funny joke, but at least it had the charm of originality.

Oh, here’s some half-baked philosophy: what can you say when originality masquerades as talent? Another question: just because something has never been done before is that sufficient reason to do it?

I’m thinking right now of some current and recent movies (like in the last few years). Some movie makers are known for “pushing the envelope” (I might research where that expression came from for another post. I mean, what envelope? Just saying). Torture porn falls under this category, as do ultra violent films. I’m not saying none of these films have artistic merit (I don’t watch many movies from this century). I’m asking, does their entire merit consist in the fact that they have done something that has never been done before? Discuss amongst yourselves.

Well, that was a totally wimp out discussion. You may have noticed I did not mention any specific movies or in fact make a strong stance on the issue. I just brought up the question.

In my defense, the heat wave in the Mohawk Valley continues, and neither my place of employment nor my residence boast air conditioning. And anyone who is rolling their eyes and forming the words, “You think you’ve got it bad” or “I don’t want to hear it,” just give it a rest. My brain has been baked, steamed, boiled and stewed for five days now. This is all I got.

Stopped by the Seine

Posted on July 7, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

So there I was, writing away at a post about a cheesy movie, when I began to write a sentence I had clearly written before. I completely remembered writing it. Those words were in my head, and I had put them there. Definitely. There was no way I could continue the sentence I was about to write next without using those very words again.

Why, you may argue, would that stop me? I repeat myself in this blog all the time, especially when I’m having any kind of trouble writing the damn thing. I argue back, in the first place, give me a break. In the second place, this sentence involved a murderer dumping a dead body into the Seine.

How many movies could that possibly have happened in? And how many of them could I possibly have seen recently? I was stopped cold.

Before I go on, a little background (another way to put this: in my defense). Earlier this week I experienced a flood. No, not as bad as other people have experienced (I’m also quite certain I’ve written about how there is always somebody who has worse problems than me), certainly not as bad as it could have been. But, still, a pretty bad experience.

I believe I mentioned briefly yesterday that some have believe I am handling it well. Oh, I am trying to. I really, really am. But at intervals, I suppose it’s bound to happen: not so much. I was having, as they say, a moment earlier today. Rather than write about it and look like I was making a colossal bid for sympathy, I decided to write about the cheesy movie I had viewed. Surely that was a good plan (and I’ll call you Shirley if I want to).

My first move, when I could move at all after coming to a complete standstill, was to go to the computer and search previous blog posts. Hmmmm… nothing that takes place in Paris, no place where I possibly could have mentioned the Seine.

After a couple of more distractions (when I have a moment, I really have a moment), I found the notebook I have been writing blog posts in for the past couple of weeks. On going through the whole thing (it’s not a big notebook), I found very few movie posts, none I did not remember, and no mention of the Seine. I sat and pondered.

At last I picked up the TV Journal. Oh. There it was. In a note I had made about the very movie I was attempting to write a post about. I tell you what, I felt so stupid about that, I almost had another moment.

But not quite, because I thought I could make a decent blog post about that silly writing crisis and then I would have two posts for the price of one. I ought to anyways, because I’ve taken a long enough time about this.

By the way, my moment is over. I’m back to handling things, if not exactly well (I’m not that competent), at least cheerfully and with a sense of humor. No need to make a colossal bid for sympathy. Thank you for bearing with me.

Be Kind to Animals, Hollywood

Posted on February 18, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

What is it with animals coming to bad ends in movies?

I recently wrote about What’s the Matter with Helen?, in which some very beautiful white rabbits suffered at the hands of a lunatic. I watched a movie yesterday in which a perfectly nice looking dog had an even shorter and more thankless role. And now I am looking at a movie where every third or fourth scene, I hear myself saying, “Nothing bad better happen to that cat!”

So far the worst thing that happened to the cat is a lady took away the yarn he or she was playing with. I only wrote my remark about nothing bad happening in the TV Journal once, but as I continued to repeat it, I thought to myself, hey, this could be a blog topic.

Many of us get more upset when bad things happen to animals than we get when bad things happen to people, especially in the movies. After all, animals are more defenseless and often more harmless. Most of them are a good deal less annoying than some people, especially in a work of fiction.

You know, now that I’m writing this, I believe I have touched on the topic before. My defense for repeating myself is: I think it was previously a remark in passing and now it is the topic of the post. Also, it is a topic that bears repeating. Who doesn’t love cats, dogs and beautiful white rabbits (or at least one of the three)?

Hollywood, apparently.

Sometimes it is movie shorthand for a really, really bad person. Ooh, look at them, they were mean to a dog! They can’t be any good AT ALL! Just in case the viewer was looking for socially redeeming characteristics. Now we know there are none to be found.

I still don’t like it. I just don’t LIKE to see bad things happen to good animals. I don’t particularly like it when characters I like die either, but at least I can comfort myself with the thought that actors like to play death scenes. I don’t know that any animals feel the same way.

I don’t think any Hollywood screenwriters are likely to heed my words and start writing movies where all the animals live happily ever after (humans can take their chances). But I wanted to express myself. Now I’ll go back to the movie I was viewing and check out what happens to that cat.

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Spare Me the Existential Post

Posted on October 20, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

So I don’t have much of a headache, and my back doesn’t feel too bad. Lame Post Friday ought to be a breeze.

Of course it’s not. You didn’t think it would be, did you? I wasn’t sure, myself. I thought it could go either way. Looks like it’s veering into Existential Writer’s Crisis. Nice.

Existential is one of those fancy words that people use to sound erudite that don’t really mean much. “Spare me the existential pose,” one character says to another in the movie Big Chill. He could just as well have said, “Spare me the pose,” or even, “Spare me” (I guess some people wish they had been spared the whole movie, although I like it).

Where was I? Ah yes, in crisis. Not much of one, really. My wrist is not on my forehead. It just looks as if I’m writing yet another post on Why I Can’t Write a Post.

And that was as much as I wrote at work today (on a break OF COURSE). I spent the rest of the afternoon wondering if some reader would post a condescending comment explaining to me the meaning of existential philosophy. I had my reply ready, “You sound very erudite.”

Still, as soon as you start thinking about the condescending things people might say to you, you tend to stop writing. At least many of us do (probably that condescending comment-poster does not have that problem) (you know who you are).

When I got home I looked up existential in not one but two dictionaries, to make sure it means what I think it means. I don’t believe in quoting the dictionary, so to give you the definition, I will quote a movie, The Ref, an awesome Christmas movie (although Steven categorizes it as Twisted Christmas). Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis are a married couple in therapy, which they seem to sorely need but which is not doing them much good. I may be paraphrasing:

Kevin Spacey: In the meantime, she never finishes anything she starts. Photography classes. Cooking classes. Existential philosophy courses.

Judy Davis: At least I go after my dreams!

Kevin Spacey: Do do what? To take pictures of Lutefisk to prove the nothingness of being?

Why can’t I write shit like that? (That’s from another movie: In Soapdish, writer Whoopi Goldberg says it when real life drama intrudes on the set.) Just when I thought my sidetrack into the meaning of existential was going to derail my crisis.

But, crisis or not, I see I am over 400 words, or if you don’t count my movie quotes, over 300 words. That’s a respectable Lame Post (as respectable as they get). Happy Friday, everyone!

Mohawk Valley Girl