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Category Archives: Facebook

And the Secret Word Is…

I spend a lot of weekend time on Facebook, because I find it fun. My usual method is to do a chore or two, pop on to check my notifications, do a chore or two, pop on to read some posts, see some pictures, laugh at some jokes. Sometimes, I confess, I skip the chores.

Here is a Facebook thing I have addressed before, but I’ve thought of a new post, so I make bold to revisit the topic. Sorry, I’m too lazy to search my old posts and give you a pingback to it. If you missed it, you aren’t really missing much.

To perhaps reiterate what I’ve said before, I don’t read every post, especially the ones that are clearly copied. One I have skipped almost every time begins, “Let’s see who reads my posts all the way to the end.” I think, “Why are you even friends with me if you think I don’t read your posts,” and I don’t read it all the way to the end.

While at work the other day (I was doing a job that gave me a chance to daydream a little), I composed the following post I may put on one day:

“Do NOT read this post all the way to the end. Are you still reading? If so, good for you, because that means you do not do everything you are told. Neither do I. What you do next is entirely up to you, but I think if would be fun if you posted a silly comment to this. And if anybody does read this all the way to the end, they will learn that the secret word is bananas.”

I like this one. I think it’s almost as good as a post I’ve actually done that reads, “Do NOT re-post this.”

I Can’t Facebook It

I have been composing a Facebook status in my head that goes something like this:

Let’s see who reads my posts all the way through. Still reading? If so, that is where you and I differ, because I usually stop reading when thus challenged. This post should go on to be sentimental about friends, or self-righteous about some disease or judging others, or even silly about we just got arrested. Then it would get manipulative and sneer at uncaring people who “just keep scrolling.” For heavens’ sake, what’s wrong with scrolling? If we didn’t scroll, we couldn’t read very many posts now, could we? Anybody still reading? Or have you gone back to scrolling (like I would have). Of those still reading, I suppose some of you are huffing, “Well I DO care about Facebook friends and cancer patients and all those other issues, I am NOT self-righteous and I would NEVER manipulate anybody!”

That is pretty much as far as I’ve gotten. I can’t think of a zippy conclusion. In fact, I only really like the first three sentences.

Oh, let’s be honest, I’m not going to post anything like that on Facebook. I really just typed it in here, because I needed a post for Non-Sequitur Thursday. A Facebook post that I do not intend to put on Facebook is non-sequitur enough for me. Hope to see you on Lame Post Friday.