Category Archives: half baked philosophy

A Lame Post Indeed

Posted on June 16, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

Time for another Lame Post Friday. Random observations and half-baked philosophy. Ought to be an easy day. And I just don’t feel like writing one.

So I started writing a cooking post about some salad I happened to make on Sunday, and I just don’t feel like writing that.

So I sit, pondering how could I write yet another I Don’t Feel Like Writing post. I can’t do it. For one thing, some wise ass reader (you know who you are) will ask me do I want cheese with that whine and think they are clever. Listen, twinkle toes (I love calling people twinkle toes), I first heard that joke in the ’90s, and it was old then.

But it gives me an random observation worth at least a little half-baked philosophy: other people’s complaints always sound like whining. I bet I’ve made this observation before. Could that be because I complain a lot and people are always telling me to quit whining? Say it ain’t so! (They used to say “Say it ain’t so” in the army a lot. One drill sergeant once started chanted, “Say it ain’t so, say it ain’t so,” like it was the chorus of a rap song. The Drill Sergeant Rap. Somebody ought to write that.)

So now that I’ve written a paragraph with which I am not totally displeased, I don’t feel like whining any more. I mean, I don’t whine! But, yes, I’d like some cheese.

This less than 300 words. A lame post indeed. Then again, it’s Friday. And I’ve had some Mohawk Valley adventures today! So stay tuned, for something considerably less lame. Happy Friday!

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Lame Effort?

Posted on May 26, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

Does anybody else look at the first page of a new notebook and hesitate before writing anything down? This was not the half-baked philosophy I had originally thought to write about, but let’s run with it for a sentence or two (for those of you just tuning in, today is Lame Post Friday, when I amuse myself and I hope others with random observations and half-baked philosophy)(and for regular readers, sorry that I boringly repeat the explanation yet again).

On a blank page I could write something brilliant or wonderful or… oh, what the hell, now I’ve written something. Now it’s just a run of the mill notebook with words in it, not a magic spiral-bound receptacle of possibility. But one thing I’ve noticed about me: I like to write. I enjoy the physical process of putting words on paper. So rather than feeling the middle-aged mix of disappointment and philosophy that happens when reality meets potential, I feel content. And pleased about my new little notebook, purchased at Hummel’s Office Plus in Herkimer, NY (I am Mohawk Valley Girl, after all). So much for that topic.

The half-baked philosophy I had meant to expound upon is, “No effort is wasted.” That phrase occurred to me at work this morning as I struggled up the stairs with my heavy bag. My bag is heavier than previously, because I switched my lunch to salad instead of sandwich. You wouldn’t think a small thermos would weigh so much more than a pita pocket (whole wheat, of course), but it totally does. But, I told myself, the extra effort will at least burn a calorie or two. No effort is wasted, I went on. Any effort can make us stronger or teach us something.

Last night I was suffering from a bit of angst and wanted to post a Facebook status of “Does anybody care if I run the stupid Boilermaker?” What I wanted to see was comments like, “Yes, we like to read your running blogs,” or “I’ll look for you on the TV coverage” (my sister Cheryl saw me on TV the first year I ran), or even, “Hell, yeah, I’m not going to run it!” What I figured I would get was things like, “Do what YOU want to do,” and “These things are meaningless unless you do them for yourself.” And I was trying to think up replies, like, “No man is an island,” and “I KNOW that BUT…” or even, “Duh.” Now that I think about it, probably nobody would be rude enough to say, “What possible good can it do ME if YOU run the Boilermaker?” But you never know.

Now I have a potential answer to my internal Boilermaker debate. No effort is wasted. If I run the Boilermaker, my effort to do so is not wasted. If I don’t run the Boilermaker, my efforts at training are not wasted. What a comforting thought. Although I can’t help thinking I’d like it if somebody else would be a little bit happy if I ran it. How lame is that?

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I Should Write a Better Lame Post

Posted on April 28, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

For two Fridays in a row my Happy Friday Mood has eluded me. Two Fridays ago I did not feel completely cheated, though, because I spent all day Thursday enjoying a Happy Because Tomorrow Is Friday Mood. Then again, that raises the question (note: it RAISES the question, it does not beg the question; that means something entirely different): how many good moods per week is one allowed? Stand by for some half-baked philosophy.

For those of you just tuning in, I’ll just mention quickly that this is Lame Post Friday, my day of random observations and half-baked philosophy. For regular readers (hi, Aunt Mary!), sorry if I bore you by repeating it.

Some people seem to be in a good mood all the time. Others not so much. Some people seem to be in a really, really rotten mood all of the time, they are so ill-used. And here is a not so random observation: most people do not find others’ bad moods nearly as well justified as their own. “Look at him — he’s got nothing to complain about!” is the basis of many a satisfying conversation.

I can’t say whether my Happy Friday Mood has deserted me again this week, because I feel I am writing this too early in the morning. I must give my coffee a chance to kick in. I remember one Friday when I had gotten up early but come in to work at regular time exclaiming brightly to a boss, “I’ve had five cups of coffee! You gotta get some work outta me before I crash!” I don’t think I actually crashed that day. It was a good Friday (but not, you know, Good Friday).

The preceding was written in my notebook before starting work at five this morning. Um, and by notebook, I mean a spiral job with paper, not a fancy little computer. I would have to say, not a true Happy Friday Mood, but not a bad mood. I got a few good laughs out of the day. And here is some more half-baked philosophy for a Friday: as soon as you start to tell yourself you should be in a good mood, you are asking for trouble.

Ooh, here is material for a blog post all by itself: the evil word “should.” As soon as you tell yourself you “should” do something, what do you want to do? NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT! It works for everything! I should run. I’m too tired, it’s too cold, I don’t have to run if I don’t want to. I should do my blog post. I don’t have anything to say, this blog is stupid, my computer is too slow. I should write something better even on a Lame Post Friday. Oh, don’t go there; this whole thing will come to a grinding halt.

You know, I’m wondering now if I could use that to my advantage. For example, I should eat more ice cream. Hmmm… I guess it doesn’t work for everything.

So there is my Friday Lame Post. Heavy on the half-baked philosophy, light on the random observations. Happy Friday, everyone, and may you all be in a happy mood, regardless of whatever you should be doing.

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Insert Lame Headline Here

Posted on April 7, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

Welcome to Lame Post Friday, where once again I shall try to entertain with random observations and half-baked philosophy. Full disclosure: I’m sitting at my computer with my fingers on the keyboard, hoping something pops into my brain.

I just went back and re-read my Lame Friday Post from the day after Thanksgiving (it was a rare Friday I had off, as is today, so I thought it might help). I ended with a bit of half-baked philosophy I’d like to expand upon if I may (of course I may, it’s my blog; I just felt like adding “if I may”) (I’m in kind of a silly mood, you may have noticed).

I remembered the saying “No life is wasted; you can always stand as a bad example to others.” I’ve always taken comfort in that saying. Don’t be like me, everybody! But then I got to thinking, to really make my bad example useful, don’t I need to actually show it to people? Wouldn’t it be more helpful if I exposed all my stupid mistakes, via blog or memoir, so others could learn? EEEEK! I don’t want to do that! People will just have to observe me all on their own, if they’re interested. If I ever write my memoirs (doubtful; I write fiction), it’s going to be all lies. Any friends and family reading this, if you want me to make up some good ones about you, let me know.

Well that didn’t take up much time. I did have a random observation the other day. When I was walking Tabby, I think I saw a bona fide crazy old lady (my computer is telling me bona fide is wrong, but I just looked it up in the dictionary. Stupid computer!). At least, I didn’t stare, so I don’t know how old she was. Then again, I call myself a crazy old lady but to some I’m just a young pup.

I was walking Tabby, wearing my own crazy old lady hat, when I saw walking toward me on the opposite side of the street a lady who looked like she was wearing a similar hat. When she got a little closer, I could see it was wide brimmed like mine, but a nicer shape and a bit fancier. The lady was dressed all in black, right down to her high heeled boots. She strode down the road, grandly ignoring a perfectly good sidewalk. Her chest was out, her head was high. Normally when I meet other pedestrians or runners, I call a greeting or remark, but I felt a little intimidated by this woman. She looked neither left nor right, and I didn’t even feel that I should be taking a closer look at the hat, as I was. I put my eyes front too and kept walking.

Oh, speaking of calling greetings to people, here is another observation. Walking Tabby yesterday, I saw a lady with a baby carriage crossing at a four way stop. I was just reaching the corner as she was halfway across, and Tabby stopped to sniff a promising post. The car going one way stopped, the truck going the opposite direction kept going! She was still in the first half of her cross when he went by, but still! I yelled, “The nerve of that guy, not stopping for a baby carriage!” The lady didn’t say anything, but the toddler in the carriage gave us a friendly wave and yelled, “Hi!” Of course I waved back.

OK, two observations, one philosophy. I say that’s not a bad Friday. I’ll get off the computer now, and seek out some Mohawk Valley adventures so I can come up with a non-lame post for Saturday.

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Lame is a Many Splendored Thing

Posted on March 17, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

“Dr. Chumley, my mother used to say to me, ‘In this world, Elwood’ — she always called me Elwood — she’d say, ‘In this world, Elwood, you must be oh, so smart or oh, so pleasant.’ For years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.”
-Elwood P. Dowd in the play Harvey by Mary Chase

I think it would be nice to live by this quote. Of course I don’t usually. I’m usually still caught up in the oh, so smart mode. But I’m working on oh, so pleasant.

Here is a random observation that veers into half-baked philosophy: it is just as easy to be nice as not most of the time. For example, if somebody you don’t like says “good morning” in a pleasant tone of voice, you can smile and say, “good morning” back. It’s not that hard. Apparently for some people it is.

My next random observation veers into middle-aged musings (you see how well I can multi-task): when you’re in your late 40s, you will have pain. Today it’s a muscle spasm in my shoulder, making it difficult to turn my head or use my right arm (and yet I’m writing this. How dedicated am I?). It’s actually adding a little interest to my morning. As I hold myself stiffly, I’m pretending I’m the guy with the deformed hand in The Brain that Wouldn’t Die (a fun movie with or without robot heads).

Although, as I think about it, I realize you can have pain at any age. There are headaches and period cramps and sore muscles from athletic endeavors. I remember a friend of mine who suffered from migraines saying, “I wonder what it would be like to go a whole day with suffering any pain.” A guy looked at her and said, “I often go a day without pain.” Well, some people are blessed, that’s all.

A woman at work who dislikes me was maneuvered by circumstances into smiling at me. I was walking down the hall more or less level with a management type. She smiled at him then turned her head in my direction, probably not knowing who it was. She was still smiling and I was past her before she had time to stop! Ha! She can’t say good morning, but for one teeny tiny second, she smiled at me! Hey, point and laugh if you must: I take my joy where I can find it.

Incidentally, the woman did have chances to give me dirty looks later (at least, maybe they weren’t dirty looks at me; maybe she was in a fowl mood and I was in her line of vision), which led me to a Christian thought. If Jesus could forgive people who crucified him, how much more should I forgive somebody who merely gives me dirty looks.

Well, I do love Lame Post Fridays, where I just sit down and write whatever comes to mind. If you’ve been entertained, yay! If you’ve been bored, thank you for bearing with me. The nice thing is now it’s the weekend, and I have various Mohawk Valley adventures planned. Stay tuned!

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Lame Old Song

Posted on March 10, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

So, it’s Lame Post Friday, the day for random observations and half-baked philosophy. I didn’t write anything at work for reasons… well, for reasons involving work and I don’t like to blog about work, so never mind (long story; not very interesting).

I had a random observation earlier this week: I looked out the window while on the cell phone with my husband and saw a girl dressed in black shirt and pants, and bright yellow sneakers. It looked cool, even from a distance. Now I want bright yellow sneakers. I have a pair of running shoes with bright yellow laces, but I think it is time to expand my horizons.

Another random observation that veers into half-baked philosophy: when somebody says, “I’m asking you nicely,” they’re usually not. I think what they mean is that they can get a WHOLE LOT MORE nasty than they’re being, if you don’t do what they’re asking you “nicely” to do. I’m just saying.

“I’m just saying” is one of my favorite expressions. It’s probably one of those phrases that show up on pundits’ lists of overused sayings, like “at the end of the day” or…. OK, I can’t think of another one. I’m sure I use a good many of them myself but only notice when others do it. I won’t apologize for that bit of hypocrisy, though, because I believe many are guilty of it (ooh, more half-baked philosophy!).

My only other observation is that my headline really has very little to do with today’s post. As usual, I was just looking for something I could stick the word “lame” into and make a kind of a play on words. I spend a great deal of time thinking of sayings and song lyrics using the word “same” and that’s what I came up with today. If you feel I should have some comeuppance for such, well, lameness, you’re in luck: I’ve given myself an earworm for the rest of the night. Happy Friday!

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Lame Rant

Posted on January 28, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

Well, here it is Lame Post Friday, my day when I take it easy by blogging about random observations and half-baked philosophy. And let me tell you, today I am feeling pretty damn lame.

A voice in my head says, “WHAT do you people WANT of me?” With a wrist to the forehead, of course. Every day I make a post. Every day I try to think of something to entertain or inform. I CAN’T TAKE THE PRESSURE!!!

OK, take the wrist off the forehead and stop being so self-dramatizing. This blog posts every day because I challenged myself to post every day for one year. Nobody is holding a gun to my head. The worst thing that will happen if I fail my challenge is that some of you will point and laugh (you know who you are). I must remind myself, it is my own damn fault if I am stressed over the daily postings so I need not complain to you, dear reader(s).

Then again, I always say, go with your strengths (half-baked philosophy?). One of my strengths, apparently, is being self-dramatizing (random observation?). And can’t drama be entertaining? How about that wrist to the forehead? Isn’t that Academy Award caliber acting? No? OK, I’m back to what do you people want of me.

The fact is, I’ve had a tremendously horrible day and I’m feeling quite limp and useless. Tomorrow I plan a whole blog post detailing my travails (I will say: also self-inflicted, but what are you going to do?). I’m not up to it today.

For today, you get a singularly lame post. Live with it, as I must. Happy Friday.

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Bear with Me

Posted on January 14, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

This has been a kind of a Week of Lame. I even called a post Mid-Week Lame, and, come on, a post about my drive into work? But now it’s Friday when I’m allowed to be lame. Some might argue that I have used up my weekly allotment. To that person, I would explain, “Shut up” (with thanks to SJ Perelman and if you don’t know that one, ask me and I will give you a polite explanation).

Wow, it’s easy to write! Look how much I just now sat down and wrote. Why do I sometimes have problems with these blog posts? But I digress.

I thought of the title “Bear with Me” earlier in the week when I had nary an idea for a blog post. Then I thought, “I could even say I saw a bear on the way home from work. Get it? Bear with me!” And that made me think of the Dr. Seuss book To Think that I Saw it on Mulberry Street.

“That’s the ticket,” I thought. “I can come up with all kinds of things. I’ll never lack a blog post again!”

Then I thought about how the story ended and I thought, “Never mind.” I won’t expound on that, though, in case you haven’t read the story. I wouldn’t want to spoil it for you. By the way, if you haven’t read it, what are you thinking? Get yourself to your local library and read every Dr. Seuss story they have. You won’t be sorry.

I can talk about how the story begins. The narrator, walking home from school, observes a not very exciting horse and wagon on Mulberry Street. Well, here is where I differ from that young man. I think a horse and wagon is a fine thing to notice and talk about, even if you might see one every day (not so usual these days, of course, although I do see the occasional Amish buggy). Or for example a pick up truck and little red car, which I in fact did talk about yesterday.

So no bears on the way home. I believe they are not indigenous to the Mohawk Valley. No horse and wagon either, nor yet an Amish buggy. In other words, I’m low on random observations. What’s the other component of Lame Post Friday? Ah yes, half baked philosophy. Well, I think I covered that with my contention that a plain horse and wagon is a fine thing to blog about.

I think that’s that. As soon as I type this in and hit “publish,” it’s wine o’clock. Happy Friday, everyone.

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Snowman Philosophy

Posted on December 10, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

I ended yesterday’s post with a philosophical question to ponder another day. And here we are on Lame Post Friday, the day for random observations and — wait for it — half baked philosophy (I have wanted to use “wait for it” in a sentence ever since the Rob Lowe character used in on West Wing back in the early ’00s; an ambition realized).

So I’ve been wanting this plastic light up snowman for my front lawn. Judging from recent blog posts, it has become something of an obsession, although I prefer the term quest. Before anybody organizes an intervention, let me assure you: I do not spend every waking minute plotting where to look next for my plastic light up snowman. I’m having fun with it. And I am especially amused by the fact that it was Steven who originally wanted to get a plastic light up snowman and I have kind of taken it over (kind of emblematic of our marriage; I usually get the last cup of coffee, too).

A few philosophical question are raised by our search. And I do need to have a literal moment here and ask, wouldn’t even a half baked philosophy melt a snowman? I’ll just have to take that chance.

The first question is: would we have wanted it so badly if it was readily available? When Steven first brought it up and I liked the idea, we thought we could drive down to our local Wal-Mart or K-Mart and be plugging in Mr. Snowman within the hour. As we checked store after store to no avail, an obsession was born. I think this is a dumb philosophical question, because you can’t possibly arrive at an answer. Oh wait, I think that is the definition of a philosophical question. I don’t know from philosophy. That’s why mine are always half baked.

The second question, which I may find out the answer to so I guess that makes it not philosophical, is will I like my plastic light up snowman as much after I get him as I think I will. I’m inclined to say yes. After all, I still love my plastic light up Santa, and he was no trouble at all.

The third question, and this is where things get a little hairy, is do I really even want a plastic light up snowman any more, or do I want to keep searching and blogging about it? I have to admit, it’s kind of fun to have an obsession — uh, I mean a quest. And as I am ever searching for blog topics, it’s kind of a God send (I see by the dictionary the proper spelling is godsend, but my way seems more respectful). Well, I think that’s kind of selling myself short to even ask that. It’s like saying I don’t even know what I want, and sometimes I do.

I suppose I could go into a whole big thing about how the journey is the destination, or the search is more important than the object, or some such, but I’m really not very good at that sort of thing. Actually, as I write this, I’m beginning to suspect I’m not so good at the half baked philosophies, either. Oh well, next Lame Post Friday I’ll confine myself to random observations. In the meantime, I’ve got big plans for a Mohawk Valley weekend, so stay tuned (an anachronistic expression, but I like it). Happy Friday!

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Random Observations

Posted on October 29, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

On Thursday I thought, “I don’t have to do anything Mohawk Valley-ish tonight: tomorrow is Lame Post Friday!” Today (Friday), I realize that, lame or not, I still have to actually write something. What the blankety-blank am I going to find to talk about?

I’m eating an egg and olive sandwich. I blogged about making egg and olive and how it turned out soupy. I fixed it by adding two more eggs, and now it’s pretty good.

Something I always wonder about is why they say you can’t have your cake and eat it too. When someone says, “Have some cake,” don’t they expect you to eat it? I may have mentioned this before. If so, sorry for repeating myself.

The Ilion Farmer’s Market is NOT closing for the season but runs all winter long. It is Friday and Saturday at Clapsaddle Farm on Otsego Street. I want to go there today and buy some pickles. I hope they have the garlic kind.

The sun seems to be shining for the first time in a few days. I hope it refrains from raining this evening, so I can take my dog for a walk.

And there’s another odd expression: “The sun is trying to peek out.” The sun does not really move much; we all know the earth rotates to create the appearance of sunrise and sunset. The clouds move in front of the sun. The sun has very little to do with it. In fact, I believe about a million miles separate the clouds from the sun. I would be very surprised to find out the sun considers the matter at all.

I have no half baked philosophy for today. It’s kind of too bad, because my usual Happy Friday Mood has eluded me for much of the day. I think some philosophy may have helped. After all, as the great Donald Westlake once said, “My philosophy is you have to be philosophical about it.”

And there’s your Friday post. See ya Saturday.

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