I am afraid this will be a Slacker Saturday Post, although I had hopes of one of the Scattered variety. There was no chance of a Saturday Running Commentary as I woke to rain and icy roads.
After much hesitation (after all, my mother reads do this blog), I must confess that my depression has been kicking my ass lately. I am plagued by indecision, do-nothingism, and general despair.
I feel rotten about myself for giving in to such feelings. Do something, anything, I exhort myself. I am not wrong to do so, because very often doing something, anything can help. Unfortunately, doing something, anything can be very difficult.
Mostly I worry that I am being a whiny baby. Other people have way worse problems than me. I really do have much to be grateful for. I read somewhere that you cannot feel gratitude and depression at the same time. Quite frankly, I don’t know what idiot said that, but I am guessing it is someone who never suffered from depression.
So I am embarrassed for sharing my possibly unjustified tears and sadness. Yet I dare to do so in case somebody reading this feels the same way. It is such a comfort to feel that one is not alone.
As for myself, I will continue to do what I can: exercise, eat right, and strive to do something, anything. For example, make a blog post every day, as I like to do. Here is Saturday’s. Thank you for tuning in. I hope you will return for whatever kind of post Sunday’s turns out to be.
Mohawk Valley Girl 
🙂 Try not to be too hard on yourself, my friend.
And, may you have a blessed 2021!
Thank you for the kind words. May your year be blessed as well!
Virtual hugs! I do understand. That feeling of hauling heavy weights around is exhausting. But, you are doing what you can. I try to do the same. Get some exercise and just keep going.
Thanks! I went running this morning, which definitely helps.
Once in awhile I just say forget everything and lay on the futon in my office under a blanket and do nothing except watch the light change. After a bit I usually feel better. Sometimes it is better to fight, but sometimes it is better to give in (just for a little while).
I know for me the scariest thing is waking up in the morning and not being able to think of a single thing I want to do. Then I take the day 5 minutes or one task at a time. And getting out of bed and taking a shower count as major accomplishments!
Remember it is just hormones and be patient with yourself!
Thank you for those kind words. Five minutes or one task at a time is good advice.