Category Archives: humor

Yet Another Post About Running

Posted on October 12, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

I have been remiss about running lately, which is too bad, because a good run — or even a rotten run — is usually good for a blog post. I did manage to run both days this past weekend (no three day weekend for this working girl).

Previous weekends I’ve gotten out of bed, into the sports bras and out the door. This method has the advantage of not giving myself time to think of good reasons not to go running. I am rather ingenious at coming up with seemingly unassailable excuses (I just love that word “unassailable”).

Saturday, however, I sat around in sweats and had a couple cups of coffee with my husband. I’ll tell you what (and I posted this as my Facebook status that day): running after coffee is the Way to Go (I also clarified that I mean going running after you drink coffee, not pursuing coffee down the street, although that too would be motivational) (I just had to include that, because I felt so witty when I thought of it) (or do I flatter myself?) (But I digress) (Too many parenthetical comments?).

I felt pretty terrific. I did not run any hills, nor did I run as far as I had been. Back under the 30 minute plateau for me. But I thought after five days off, I wouldn’t kill myself. I did stop to pet one cute dog, by the way.

Sunday I tried the post-caffeine athletics again. I ran up the hill by Vally Health Services. It is not a huge hill compared to my beloved Herkimer County Community College (HCCC) challenger, but it’s hill enough to say so.

After the hill, I ran by the high school. I like to run by the high school on a Sunday and think, “Ah, what if I would have gotten my teaching certificate?” The school is usually pretty quiet on a Sunday.

I ran over the little bridge toward the parking lot/street I like to run down, because sometimes angels leave coins to encourage me (do I have to explain that again? Are there any new readers today?).

Sunday some game or event was going on. I saw parents and kids making their way toward the field. I tried to look athletic. I hoped nobody noticed me stop to pick up a penny (encouragement!). Then I realized nobody was paying the least bit of attention to me. A relief and a disappointment. I ran on.

I saw a cute little dog with no leash.

“Hi, cute little dog,” I said. “Where’s your person?” She was sitting on a nearby porch. I waved and said good morning. I’ve seen that dog before.

I do enjoy my runs. The Mohawk Valley weather is crisping up nicely. I must run up the hill to HCCC soon to enjoy the view while the leaves are still colored. That’ll be a good reason for another post about running.

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A Run and Two Walks

Posted on October 8, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

As I sit here pondering that it’s Lame Post Friday, I am forced to come to the conclusion: I got nuthin’ (not even a g).

I have not run since Sunday. Sunday was a good run in Vermont, where we were visiting Steven’s family. I reached the “Oh yeah, I can rock this” stage. Of course, I even realized at the time that the feeling had something to do with the fact that I was on a gentle down slope. Let’s hear it for gravity.

Where my sisters-in-law live, the run is scenic but can be a little nerve wracking, because for the most part there are no sidewalks and the road has no shoulder. The posted speed limit is 25 mph, which should help, but, well, you know speed limits. Most people see them as a mere suggestion and others insist upon regarding them as a minimum. (True story: when we lived in Georgia, the paper had a call-in comment line. One yahoo called in and said, “When the speed limit is 45, I should be able to do at least 45.”)

Anyways, advantage Herkimer, for lots of sidewalks and a nice wide shoulder on the road to Herkimer County Community College, my favorite hill.

As I said, I have not taken advantage of the Herkimer sidewalks this week for running purposes. I didn’t even take my dog, Tabby, for a walk the first two days. Monday she didn’t seem to mind, but Tuesday when I went so far as to leave the house, she got a little miffed. She didn’t pee on the floor or chew anything up. She just sat on the love seat and turned her face pointedly away from me. Luckily, all was forgiven when I returned. That’s the great thing about dogs: they never hold a grudge.

So on Wednesday, I was determined to make things up to my dog by not deserting her to run and by taking her for a long walk. It was a beautiful sunny day. I put on my crazy old lady hat, because it has a nice wide brim. We walked for a good half hour.

The next night Steven was home, so we all three walked together. That walk was a little more eventful. We met up with a tiny dog that immediately started pulling on her leash to meet Tabby. They sniffed each other and got their leashes tangled. The little dog was definitely more excited to meet Tabby than vice versa, but Tabby was greatly interested in getting the dog’s owner to pet her. The owner told us the little dog’s best friend was a doberman that lived a couple of houses over. There was another big dog nearby, she said, who was also a friend. As we walked on, a dog up a driveway started barking.

“There’s a dog,” I said, although I did not actually see him. We started to cross the street, not to avoid the dog. It was the way we were headed.

“Oh, he’s a nice dog,” the little dog’s owner called after us. We did not get to meet that dog. We passed a house for sale.

“If we bought that house, Tabby could get to know all those dogs,” I said. We did not call our realtor, though.

We strolled down the path over what used to be a hydraulic canal. There are a few little stations with information and pictures. One day I’ll go for a walk carrying a notebook and put some of that in a blog post. Just warning you. Uh, I mean preview of coming attractions.

We admired some roadwork the village had done, envied some houses’ Halloween decorations and in general enjoyed the scene. And as I often blog about innocuous strolls with our schnoodle, I guess this qualifies as my Friday Lame Post.

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Definitely Not a Cooking Post

Posted on October 7, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

Tuesday, for reasons with which I will not burden the reader, I found myself driving home from Utica around 6 p.m. I knew Steven had taken chicken out of the freezer and that he was due home shortly after 6:30. I also knew I did not have the stamina to wait the 45 or more minutes it would take the chicken to cook or even the oomph to get it in the oven. What to do?

Pick something up, obviously. What and from where? The possibilities were many. This had the added advantage of being a potential blog post. I pondered as I drove (within posted speed limits and carefully, of course).

I concluded that I did now feel like waiting long while my food was being prepared. Where did that leave me? Any place has to fix your food. Unless I did Hot-n-Ready from Little Caesars. They didn’t need a plug from Mohawk Valley Girl.

As I mentally reviewed the villages I would pass, it occurred to me: Melrose Market in Frankfort has ready made food. They had all kinds of choices! It was going to be great!

Luckily they were still open, and even more luckily, there was a parking space right in front. I am a terrible parker. I was not quite parallel to the curb, but I hoped it would be OK.

I found the refrigerator case with the goodies. I decided on Pasta Fagioli, Sausage and Peppers, and Pasta Salad. From a shelf closer to the register I grabbed a mixture with peanuts, raisins, peanut butter chips and generic M&Ms. For dessert and appetizer.

“I’m so glad I thought of you guys,” I gushed to the cashiers. “I’m going to write a blog post about this!”

They thanked me politely, but I don’t think they were impressed.

When I got home I phoned my mother while I preheated the oven (I don’t like heating things in the microwave). It’s important to check in with the folks, plus I wanted to ask Mom’s advice about covering the food while I heated it. I was able to put the food in casserole dishes with one hand, holding the phone with the other, but I asked Steven to cover with tinfoil (on Mom’s advice) the dish without a lid. I asked him to also put the dishes in the oven.

“I do all the work around here,” he grumbled. It’s quite true, but he only grumbles about it when it’s something silly like this.

Dinner was quite tasty and virtually stress free. Steven was even able to put the leftovers back in the same containers they came in.

I highly recommend Melrose Market, 208 E. Main St., Frankfort, 894-3272. For those occasions when you are just not up to culinary adventures.

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Cooking Up Trouble

Posted on October 5, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

I signed off yesterday with the bold statement that I was off to do something exciting to blog about today. (You know, blog is a really silly verb. Why don’t I just say “write”?) (I believe it is because blogging is a specific type of writing. In other words, I’ll say “write” when I mean “write” and “blog” when I mean “blog.” Quit bugging me about my word choices!) (But I digress.)

It will probably come as a shock to no one that all I did was read a trashy novel and go to bed. But before I made my blog post, I did indulge in some activity that was not without points of interest and Mohawk Valley connection. I cooked with some green peppers purchased at the Ilion Farmer’s Market. Of course, this is not a cooking blog. Then again, it isn’t a running blog, a gardening blog or a wine blog. That doesn’t stop me.

I had purchased the peppers a week or so ago with no real plan of how or when to use them. I admit I mostly bought them because the guy selling them was nice, and because he caught me as I was walking out and said, “Sure you don’t want those peppers?” I am rather a pushover. They are the long thin green peppers. They’re hot, but not too hot, the guy said. If I fix anything too hot, it makes Steven’s bald spot sweat (that is his description; I repeat it because I think it’s funny).

I decided to try roasting the peppers. My sister Diane told me how to roast peppers. You cut the peppers in half, take out the seeds and place them open side down on a tin foil lined pan. After about 20 minutes in a 400 degree oven, you take them out and wrap them in the tin foil. After leaving them in the tin foil for a while (I’ve been known to put it in the refrigerator and forget about them for a day or two), you peel them — that part is sometimes easy but is more often a huge pain — and they are ready for use.

I’ve done this with bell peppers. The first eight or ten times I did it, I would have to call Diane and ask was it 20 minutes in a 400 degree oven or 40 minutes in a 200 degree oven? I would write this down on a piece of paper on the telephone table and put it in a good place where I would be sure not to lose it. Monday I trusted my memory. I can hear some of you saying, “Big mistake!”

I also trusted that the skinny long peppers would behave the same way as bell peppers. As it turns out, that was a bigger mistake. In the first place, the peppers are a little too twisty to just cut in half. Then once you get them kind of sort of in half, what a pain in the butt to get all of those seeds out! It was not long before I decided I was not going to roast all the peppers I had bought. To save even more time I decided to roast a few of them whole and see how that worked out.

I would like to mention here that I did consult an authority in the matter. I looked up roasted peppers in Joy of Cooking, an excellent book with a wealth of knowledge about all things culinary. There were pages and pages about peppers: kinds of peppers, how to cook them, recipes. Really, a plethora of information. Do you suppose there was a recipe on how to roast peppers in the oven? I’m afraid not. They did include the stove top method: you put the peppers directly on the gas burner. What kind of bullshit cooking advice is that? Why don’t I just set my house on fire and cook the entire contents of my refrigerator and pantry? Perhaps I just do not understand cooking books. I’m sure there are many excellent chefs out there who utilize the stove top method exactly as outlined in Joy of Cooking and achieve excellent results. I personally did not try it.

What I did try, and I have christened it the Diane Bell Pepper Method, did not work. I did manage to separate a few measly pieces of pepper from their skins, but for the most part: too thin, too small. I need to find another method.

Or, I could just not roast them. I see this post is getting rather long, so I will stop here, but to end on an upbeat note: I used some of the unroasted peppers in what turned out to be a rather tasty supper dish. If I finish that trashy novel tonight, maybe I’ll blog about that tomorrow.

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Dressing for Dinner

Posted on October 1, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

I thought my Friday nonsense was getting out of hand, so I determined to do something blog-worthy on Thursday. All I managed was to go to dinner at Applebee’s. Regular readers (both of them) know I don’t usually blog about chains. Still, I rationalized, this particular Applebee’s is in the Mohawk Valley. As I sit here writing this (rough draft in my notebook in the break room before work), I think: I will compromise between nonsense and business by entertaining you (I hope) with my gyrations getting ready. In other words: welcome to another Lame Post Friday.

Following my after-work shower, I looked for something to wear. I don’t have a lot of clothes that fit since I lost weight. Most of my skirts still fit. I usually wear them with long johns or leggings instead of pantyhose. However, since I no longer wear pantyhose to work, I will occasionally wear a pair after work, especially if I’m trying to keep my long johns clean for the weekend, which I am.

A side note here: I once worked with a rather obnoxious girl who would sniff, “I wear tights.” In fact, the package mine came in was labelled “Microfiber Tights.” It’s all pantyhose to me.

I grabbed a black pair at first, then noticed my sexy (or do I flatter myself?) silver pair.

“Hey, should I be sexy?” I asked my husband.

“Sure.” Of course his line should have been, “You’re always sexy,” but husbands do not always know their lines. He is a very good husband in other respects.

Pantyhose on, I searched for my black velvet skirt. It’s not a mini skirt, but at knee length, the pantyhose would show. I modeled a blouse for Steven. He approved, but I decided it needed ironing. I was not about to go that far. I settled on a green top which was not exactly low cut, then pondered my jewelry choices.

I have to say, this was the most fun I’ve had getting dressed in a long time. I even wore nice shoes, with a bit of a heel. I was ready for dinner with the hubby.

The only sad thing was we could not sit at one of my favorite tables, the tall ones in the bar area. I suggested we sit at the bar, but Steven did not want to. The hostess offered a booth in the bar area. We accepted, but I must say, it was a real compromise on my mental picture of the evening. It is difficult to look sexy, or even dignified sliding into and out of a booth, especially when the seats are real sinky downy, which these were. The sinky downy quality, while comfortable, also made the table a little taller on me than I like. However, these were minor discomforts. We were prepared to enjoy our meal.

We took advantage of the “2 for $20” special. I indulged in a Perfect Margarita, while Steven had coffee. Our appetizer was Potato Twists, which was new. My entree, Bruschetta Chicken, was also new. Steven rather boringly had Chicken Tenders, which is what he usually gets. Applebee’s does make tasty Chicken Tenders. It was a satisfying dinner; for once we were too stuffed for Dessert Shooters. The food and service were both very good.

It was a fun evening. I did not feel that my glamorous outfit was wasted. As a side note, we are headed to Vermont this weekend (as soon as I finish this post, in fact), so my next few posts may not have that Mohawk Valley flair. But stay tuned; I won’t be away from home for long.

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More Running Commentary

Posted on September 28, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

Sunday I did not run the Falling Leaves race in Utica, perhaps to my discredit, but I did run.

I began my run with indecision. I wanted to go right on German Street, because I usually go left. My normal Sunday run is up to Herkimer County Community College the front way. I was not up for that. But in turning left, I usually run into Nicky, one of my favorite dogs I stop to pet.

I looked to the left. No sign of Nicky. I turned to the right. There he was!

“Oh, this is fortunate,” I said.

“He wanted to go the long way around,” his owner explained.

I ran on, feeling I was headed in the right direction. I went up a hill, only I won’t say which hill, because I did not run past a Road Closed sign. Uh, what I mean is… I ran up a hill. That’s all.

As I ran down Steuben Street, I remembered that on another Sunday I had seen a group of orange t-shirts gathered in the parking lot of this big grey building that looks like it used to be a school but now has offices. The building is on German, but the parking lot is readily visible from Steuben and vice versa. The orange t-shirts belong, I believe, to a run team or club. I didn’t want to run by anyone hard core. I would feel self-conscious, although they probably would not notice me. If they did, they are more likely to think of something charitable, like, “Isn’t that nice, that old lady is trying to run.” And I wouldn’t know even if they did think something mean, because I can’t hear people think. And who cares what they think? Not me! After that lengthy inner dialogue (and yes, dialogue, not monologue; I was talking to myself and I answered), the parking lot was empty. I ran on.

I scared a lady on the path over what used to be a hydraulic canal. I always know how slow I’m running when I come up on a pedestrian, because I see how long it takes me to catch up with them. I said, “Good morning!” when I finally passed her.

“Oh, you scared me!” she said. “I don’t usually see people at this hour.”

“It is pretty early,” I agreed, as I ran on.

No further mishaps, no dogs to pet, no coins from the angels. Just a nice Sunday run in the Mohawk Valley.

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A Not So Lame Run

Posted on September 24, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

I like blogging about Saturday morning’s run on Saturday. Today’s run was not devoid of interesting features.

It rained Friday night (my lame excuse not to run, but I have mentioned that on Friday I’m lame) (Actually now that I think about it, being lame is a great excuse not to run, although I guess that’s a different definition). Ahem. Parenthetical comments aside, I made up my mind to run around the puddles and got my butt out there.

Running down German Street I saw a nice little dog named Nicky, further down and on the other side of the street. I often see Nicky on my Sunday runs. I ran across the street, putting on a slight burst of energy because it was not in a crosswalk and a car was coming (actually in Herkimer being in a crosswalk is not much help; cars don’t like to stop around here). As I got closer I called, “There’s my friend Nicky!” His owner and I exchanged greetings. She had seen me cross the street and was pleased about that. Both Nicky and his owner are very nice. I ran on.

This put me on the proper side of the street to run up the hill to Herkimer County Community College or up a smaller hill by Valley Health. I opted for the smaller hill. I have not been very hard core lately. I exchanged good mornings with a couple of healthcare workers smoking outside the building.

Running down by the school I decided to run down the street where the angels sometimes leave coins to encourage me. At least, sometimes people drop coins there and I like to believe the angels leave them for me. Then I thought I really wasn’t in such need of encouragement today; it was shaping up to be a not bad run. More humid than I like, but good temperature. And there were no coins. Was this the angels’ way of telling me I was on my own? More likely they had other things on their heavenly minds. I ran on.

I passed a young man in a red shirt and black cap. I thought he might be walking home from a job at a fast food place. His back was to me so I did not greet him. I saw a rather large woman pushing what looked like a cart of laundry down the street. Ah, I remember those days. Neither car nor washing machine, we do what we have to. I did not greet her because she was looking quite miserable and did not make eye contact. I could sympathize. I uncharitably reflected that she could use the exercise. Then again, I don’t know this lady; she could be overweight for reasons quite beyond her control. And nobody knows better than me how hard it is to lose weight. But oh how good it feels when you do. This encouraged me to keep running, because I do not want to gain back my hard lost weight.

I had to run slower at one point to let a car back out of a driveway. I wondered where they were going, and hoped it was in search of adventure. They seemed casually dressed, not that I was staring. Adventure is what I seek on Saturdays. After my good run, I felt ready for the search.

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Lame Self Indulgence?

Posted on September 24, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

As I contemplate the weekend and all the events the area has to offer — and there are a lot this weekend — I have to ask myself, why am I sitting here wishing for a Bette Davis movie marathon on TCM? Yes, it’s Lame Post Friday, the day I have designated for myself when I can indulge in random observations and half baked philosophy.

Indulgence is the right word. Self indulgence. That used to be considered a bad thing. Now look around at the advertising and entertainment industry. Self indulgence is in. Many products are touted as ways to indulge your self, or your senses, which is really the same thing. And how about all those reality shows? You know, the ones everyone scorns but almost everyone watches at least one. I think it’s pretty self indulgent to have cameras follow you around broadcasting your every move and thought.

Come to think of it a blog is fairly self indulgent all by itself. Here I sit recording my thoughts and observations for other folks to read. Nobody asked me to. Actually, a blog is kind of like a reality show. Oh my God, I’ve jumped on the bandwagon!

These random observations are not having a good effect on me. Or is this half baked philosophy? In any case, I’m thinking I should not be so self indulgent. I should go indulge somebody else. Like my husband with a cup of coffee or my dog with a good long walk. Wouldn’t that be unselfish of me? After all, it’s not like I would enjoy coffee or a walk. Well, what I mean is…

I think my post has gone from lame to ridiculous. At least it has been short. Next week I will endeavor to find some real Mohawk Valley stuff to blog about and lay off the lame self indulgence.

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Another Schnoodle Stroll

Posted on September 23, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of walking in Herkimer. Or of writing about walking in Herkimer. I have not been running much, but having an energetic schnoodle is great motivation for getting out and walking.

Yesterday we did not have a purpose for our walk, so we walked what I call the Tabby Way, meaning we let Tabby decide which direction at the intersections. She led us to our church. First she looked around the yard where they do the Blessing of the Animals in October. Nobody there. Then she wanted to go in the door to the social hall, where we brought her on Saturday when we dropped off brownies for the spaghetti dinner. I told her nobody was there, either. I’ll say this for Tabby, she takes her disappointments with grace.

We walked by the county office buildings. In between two buildings is a little park looking area with a circle of flags and a rock with a plaque in front. Tabby wanted to sniff the rock, but I hurried her along because I did not think it was a respectful place to pee. Then I thought I might like to include the flags in my blog post, so we walked back to read the plaque. It said the flags represented the nineteen towns and one city of Herkimer County. We walked into the circle to count. Twenty American flags, with one big one at the head of the circle (that is, directly opposite the rock). The big flag had a POW/MIA flag underneath it.

Feeling we knew a little more than we did before (like for instance there are 19 towns and only one city in the county. Can’t say I knew that), we walked on. We imposed our choices on Tabby a few times, for example when she wanted to follow an interesting-looking dalmatian. It looked as if the owner had made a turn to avoid us. Maybe not, but why look for trouble?

As we walked down German Street we met a lady who asked if she could pet Tabby. Tabby politely allowed it. The lady asked how old Tabby was. When Steven said almost six, she wished Tabby a happy birthday. We met another lady who did not ask to pet Tabby. Oh well, to each his own, as the old lady said when she kissed the cow.

So it was a fairly uneventful walk, except for the flag stuff, but we enjoyed it. One of my favorite things to do on a Mohawk Valley evening.

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More Running Commentary

Posted on September 22, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

I have not been good about running lately, but I have tried to keep my feet in, so to speak.

I made myself run on Monday, because I did not intend to run on Tuesday and Wednesday was iffy (in fact, this is Wednesday and I’m typing this in instead of running. My bad). I got myself going by the simple expedient of telling myself that of course I did not feel like running, but once I started I would feel great. Is it wrong to tell a lie to achieve a laudable object?

Then again, it was perhaps not a lie but a miscalculation. I might have felt great. Turns out I did not. I felt grateful for a comment I received on a blog post about another not so good run. Alexandra said it could be empowering to complete a difficult run. I told myself I was doing that again. Then I started looking around for bloggable observations. That served the dual purpose of improving my next post and distracting myself from the terrible run (I guess I can multi-task after all).

I noticed that some people’s flowers are not over like most of mine are. I particularly noticed some spiky things (no idea what they’re called, but I have red ones in my container garden). These were different colors, still bright and spiky. Mine are discolored and droopy. Probably the wrong amount of shade or water. I thought, I must research my garden better next year. And by research I don’t mean call my mom and ask what she does. Although that is not a bad method. My mom has gardened for years. She knows a lot about it. Still, they print books about gardening which I am sure I would find helpful. I’ll look in the library.

After a while I found a penny. I’ve mentioned the theory that angels leave coins to encourage us. Sunday they left me three quarters, and that was a pretty good run. I could not believe the angels thought I needed less encouragement on Monday. Then again, maybe it was a statement about my attitude. Did I have 75 times better an attitude on Sunday? Probably, but I didn’t need the angels pointing it out to me. Thanks a lot, angels! (Just kidding; I picked up the penny. I like angels.)

“Run, Mama Q!” It was one of my boys from National Guard (when I used to be in National Guard), leaning out a second story window. I waved but had neither the breath nor the brainpower to reply.

I ran by some windows and looked at my reflection. Not too bad. I didn’t have to feel embarrassed when I ran by people. Not that I usually am. Hey, what you see is what you get.

I found another penny. That was all right. Now I could put my two cents in. I love making that joke.

By the end, as usual, it had not been a bad run at all. I just always expect it to get better before it actually does. Perseverance. A word to live by, and definitely a word to run by.

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