Category Archives: humor

Lame Post Friday

Posted on September 17, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

I was trying to write a post on the monthly dinner meeting of the Ilion Little Theater, and I was having a very difficult time with it. At first I thought it was because it was Friday, and Friday has been my day for lame blog posts lately. I was thinking of making it a weekly feature: Lame Post Fridays. A good way for me to ease into the weekend.

Fine, I told myself, write a lame blog post about Ilion Little Theater. See, that’s the first thing to do when experiencing resistance to writing: try to write anyways. Sometimes resistance is plain laziness, and you need to just get going. Sometimes resistance is fear of writing something not very good. By giving myself permission to write something lame, I could get the pen moving (I was writing in a notebook at work).

Somehow that didn’t seem right either. I did not want to write a lame blog post about Ilion Little Theater. Ilion Little Theater is one of the all time greatest things about the Mohawk Valley. I wanted to write a GOOD blog post about it. I even had my concluding paragraph in mind (“Ilion Little Theater has been called the best kept secret in the Mohawk Valley. I’m in on the secret. Now you are too.”) In fact, I’ve written two blog posts about the theater, and I feel they are not contemptible. What was my problem today? I should perhaps mention here that I had actually written a page and a half about the dinner meeting. But I was stuck, and I didn’t want to publish what I had written (and as a further aside, right now I am composing at the keyboard, not my favorite method).

Then I realized the cause of my hesitation: I had not asked people if they minded being in my blog. I realize I put people in my blog all the time. Sometimes it’s some person I ran past, faceless and nameless. Sometimes it is the owner of a dog I know. Then I name the dog, but I don’t even know the person’s name. I’ve mentioned my friend Megan, because I’ve plugged her blog (megactsout.blogspot.com). I thought there could be no possible objection. Dave Dellecese figured in a post, but he was being a celebrity waiter at a fund raiser. I think he expected his name to be public. Oh, and my friend Tracy Robertson has been mentioned a few times. Well, I never asked her, but she subscribes to the blog. If she had a problem with it, I surely would have heard by now.

Then I thought of the opposite problem: what if people would like to be mentioned and I left them out? These are my friends; I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings. And so I dithered.

Finally I tried to think of how I could write the post and not mention any people at all. I could report very drily, tell the time and place of the meeting, mention upcoming productions, give information on how to get involved or find out more, and still use my killer closing. Well, I suppose I could still do that. But now I see I am over 500 words of fairly lame post. Happy Friday!

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Walking with a Purpose

Posted on September 16, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

When I was in Basic Training for the Army, we were often adjured to walk purposefully. No meandering strolls with a schnoodle for soldiers (not that I owned a schnoodle or even knew what one was in those days).

“Walk like you got a purpose,” First Sergeant would say. I always liked that way of putting it. I thought about those words Wednesday as we put the leash on Tabby and set out for that evening’s Mohawk Valley adventure (just to invest a perfectly pedestrian post with a little excitement).

Now, a meandering stroll with a schnoodle is a beautiful thing. As regular readers know, I take many and blog about them. Sometimes I add a purpose by walking to the post office to mail post cards. Wednesday, we decided to go further afield.

Thursday we have the first monthly dinner meeting of Ilion Little Theatre’s 2011-2012 season (preview of Friday’s blog post). I wanted to bring a veggie tray, so a visit to Hannaford was in order (I know, I only could have stopped at Mohawk Farmer’s Market on my way home from work. My bad). We’ve never walked to Hannaford, because we drive down busy streets to get there. I don’t like walking where there’s a lot of fast traffic, especially with a dog. I had noticed while running, however, that Folts Street, one of those quiet residential streets Herkimer is blessed with, comes out right near Hannaford. You only have to cross one busy street. We decided to try it.

While running I had located Folts Street but had not run all the way to the other end, so was not sure where it started. Streets never do run in a straight grid, do they? For one thing, they almost never run from one end of town to the other; for another, they are never perfectly parallel. However, we located the street without too much problem and walked down it.

You might think we would be quite familiar with all the area streets, between our walks and my runs, but that is not the case. See, when we walk and when I run, our usual method is to say “We’ll turn here,” or “Let’s go down this street,” very spontaneously. Sometimes we even let Tabby decide. It often comes as a surprise when we find ourselves close to home again.

Soon we found ourselves on a stretch of sidewalk we rarely, if ever, have been down. Suddenly a large dog was off his front porch, jumping and barking. Tabby was not impressed. She wanted to sniff a post at the next house over, but I convinced her to move on and not give the other dog doggy apoplexy.

“I ran by that dog yesterday,” I said. “He just stood on the porch and looked at tme. I said, ‘Hi, pretty dog.'”

“Maybe it’s the influence of another dog,” Steven speculated.

We were delighted to find a WALK signal with button on Don Reille Boulevard (the one busy street you have to cross). We utilized it, and soon I was shopping while Steven and Tabby nicely waited outside.

It would have been better to have brought two reusable shopping bags instead of one, because my purchase was a little heavy. Steven carried it for me, like the excellent husband he is. We walked back down Folts Street on the opposite side of the big dog, then turned down Gray Street, to go home a different way. We employed a little of our “Let’s turn here” method, but did not meander too much.

My legs told me it was a longer walk than usual, but that’s not a bad thing. It was a practical and enjoyable way to spend part of a Mohawk Valley evening.

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Running Away From Home Again

Posted on September 14, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

One more post away from the Mohawk Valley. We were staying with some friends who live in the Alexandria Bay area.

Sunday morning I got up early to run. I’ve run at my friends’ house before. It’s a fun setting. They live on a private road on a lake. It’s not exactly paved. There is a 10 mph speed limit posted, which kind of enforces itself. If you go much faster, you deserve what happens to your car.

It’s not a very long road, and I’ve previously run up and down it. I was pleased to be going for 20 minute runs in those days. These days I’m up to 30, so I got a little more ambitious.

The private road is off a dead end road which is off the highway. I thought I had heard my friend Tracy say that the other end of the private road came out on Simpson Road. I had seen Simpson, a mere stone’s throw down the highway, depending on who’s throwing the stone (not me; I live in a glass house).

I set out in that direction, enjoying the cool temperature. My friends’ house is only the second one in, so I was soon headed down the dead end road. I saw a bunny at the end of a driveway, sitting perfectly still. If there would have been a little more dead grass, he would have blended in better. He hopped away as I approached.

I heard some loud motors and wondered if they were boats on the lake or cars on the highway. I thought it was a little early for either, but who am I to judge? I hoped there would not be too much traffic on the highway. I really appreciate the sidewalks in Herkimer. Sometimes they are uneven, but few running surfaces are perfectly smooth, and the cars are nicely separated by a strip of grass.

Luck was with me, and the highway was empty. I should have known a stone’s throw looks a lot shorter from a car than on foot. Still, I thought, I can rock this. I know she said Simpson. I’m sure she said Simpson.

I had thought originally that if I was wrong or if it seemed a longer way than expected, I could always turn around and go back the way I came. No chance of getting lost that way. Problem was, I didn’t want to turn around. For one thing, Simpson was a pretty good road to run on. To my left I saw fog over some fields. At one point I could see the sun poking through the fog and some trees, making beams of light.

It was very scenic, but a big longer than I had expected. She did say Simpson, right? I looked at my watch. I had been running for 20 minutes. If I turned around now, that would be a 40 minute run. I wasn’t up to 40 minutes yet. Who was I kidding? Anyways, I didn’t want an all highway run. I wanted to run along the private dirt road and look at the backs of people’s camps. I decided to give it ten more minutes. I was really running very well; my legs weren’t complaining at all. Still, where was that damn turn? Ah, at last!

Then I saw I had two choices of private dirt roads. I was pretty sure I picked the right one. We had just walked our respective dogs down the road the day before, but we had not gotten all the way to the end. Things looked familiar, as I’d been out this far on previous visits, but previous visits were a while ago. Sometimes a thing looks familiar just because you want it to. At last I saw a fish mailbox I was pretty sure I remembered.

I saw a lady carrying mugs and a thermal carafe out to two men.

“That’s what I need — coffee!” I said.

“Go faster! Dig in!” one of the men said.

“At first I thought Ed was really into his work,” the other said. “No, Ed ain’t moving that fast.”

I could be mistaken about what the second guy said. I did not speed up as advised, but I did keep going.

I was delighted to realize I had broken my 30 minute plateau by running for 33 minutes. That is an increase of 10%, which a guy at the Sneaker Store told me was just about right. I may not be up for the Falling Leaves run, but I had a good run Sunday.

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We Drive On

Posted on September 13, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

As I ended my last post, Steven and I had reached Remsen on our way to seek adventure outside the Mohawk Valley.

I’m not clear on precisely where the Mohawk Valley ends. I see that many businesses employ “Adirondack” in their name well before we reach the actual Adirondacks (which, incidentally, we did not this journey). I don’t think I saw anybody claiming the Mohawk Valley who did not have a clear right to. What does this tell us? I would not venture to speculate, and I will refrain from going to any “what’s in a name?” philosophy (except for, you know, that one sentence).

While in the Town of Remsen we passed a car whose license plate was dangling and a barn with a completely rusted roof. I saw a sign that said Alder Creek but did not see the creek. We did not take a turn to Old Forge, although I understand Old Forge is worth a visit. Perhaps a future blog post.

Then I saw a sign that said Nirvana Natural Spring Water Next Right. Herkimer tap water is perfectly potable, but I do occasionally purchase bottled water. I had forgotten Nirvana was so local. I may include that on the beverage list at my next party.

I saw CNY Glass and Metal Designs. They weren’t claiming to be anywhere they weren’t. Next thing I knew we were in Boonville. I noticed Mellace’s Produce Market and was surprised. I knew they were in Rome, but I didn’t know they were anywhere else. I went to school with Frank Mellace. He’s a great guy. We also passed Mercer Dairy store but did not stop for ice cream, much to my disappointment.

Soon we passed signs for Lewis County and Town of Leyden. We were pleased about that, because we knew we were approaching the Lock 96 convenience store, just out of Port Leyden. All along this route you can see old locks, dry and no longer in use (well, I guess if they are dry they are obviously no longer in use). The convenience store is located right next to one. You can walk over and check it out, but we did not do that this trip. The convenience store itself is a good one. The bathroom is clean and the coffee is hot, our most pressing concerns. The parking lot is large, for dog walking convenience (at least, that may not be why they made the parking lot big, it’s what we use it for). And they sell local baked goods. I bought some chocolate chip cookies from Jeanne’s Kitchen in Constableville (we went to a car show there!). The sticker said “Made in Lewis County.” They were good cookies.

As we approached Lowville, the surroundings grew very agricultural, as did the smell. “Smell that good fresh country air!” I exclaimed, as the odor of cow poop became distinct. That was a favorite line of my friend Mickey West, many years ago when we drove between Rome and Potsdam. I started to say, “At least we know they’re using organic fertilizer,” but I got a little mixed up and said “furniture” instead. We got a pretty good giggle about cow dung furniture.

As we got closer to our destination, my notes grew more sparse. We were anxious to start our next adventure. But thanks for riding along.

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The Journey Is the Destination

Posted on September 12, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

I enjoyed writing and I believe some people enjoyed reading my posts about road trips. Therefore, when we planned to travel to a friend’s birthday party in the Alex Bay area, I planned to write about the trip. When Steven graciously offered to drive, I opened my notebook so I could take notes. I seem to remember talking about businesses whose names I neglected to note and thought to eliminate the error.

We left Herkimer via Don Reille Boulevard. See, I’ll have real Mohawk Valley color for at least the first part of the post. We passed the Harvest Hills Baptist Church, Heidelberg Bakery (yum!), and Mudville. I’m not clear on what Mudville is, but I believe it has something to do with baseball.

I saw somebody parked in the parking area and a couple of bicycle riders sensibly wearing helmets. I noted Lady Carousel Woodworks and thought that was a business I’d like to check out sometime.

In the Town of Newport, we passed the Crystal Chandelier Restaurant and the Herkimer Diamond Mines. I’ve blogged about the Crystal Chandelier and mean to return one day. There are some cabins across the street from the Diamond Mines I’d like to stay in. I know I live quite nearby, but I think it would be fun to stay in a cabin, fake roughing it for a weekend, and check out the Diamond Mines. Wouldn’t that make a nice post?

In Middleville, I saw a sign for a Snow Bash Sept. 17 and 18. I wondered where they will get the snow for that. I’ll have to watch the papers for more information. We passed the Town of Fairfield Offices, the E.W. Corey Hose Co., and a purple Victorian house. Cool. Then we saw a sign that said Newport 3. Does that mean Newport is in the Town of Fairfield, not the Town of Newport, as one would think? Why should that surprise me? After all, the City of Oneida is in Madison County, not Oneida County.

We saw a sign to watch for Amish buggies but no buggies, a salt box that was so faded it looked like stone from a distance, a W on a rock in front of another house, and West Canada Valley Central School. So that’s where the school is. I know a couple of people who work there.

We went by a river, which we discovered to be West Canada Creek and on into Newport. I saw a Federal style brick building. I don’t know much about architecture, but this trip I noticed the Victorian, the salt box and the Federal, so I felt kind of good about that.

We passed a turn to Norway and drove by the Blue Rose Restaurant. In the Village of Poland I saw a banner for a Fall Festival but did not see a date. Rats! Quite abruptly I noticed we were in Oneida County. We almost missed the turn to stay on Route 28, then we were back in Herkimer County.

I noticed three very realistic looking geese in a front lawn, only their stillness and rakish stance alerting me they weren’t real; at least one “No Asphalt” sign, and two horses that had black and white spots like cows. We saw Cincinnati Creek and drove by Trenton Falls Road. That reminded me to watch for when Trenton Falls is open for a weekend in October. That is definitely worth a blog post.

I think we were in Trenton when we saw a sign for a Barn Fest Sept. 24 and 25. That’s something else to look for more info on. Multiple signs told us about a Chicken BBQ at Remsen Reformed Church Wednesday, Sept. 14. I noticed the Swing Inn Motel, because I liked the name. We passed the New York State Police station and soon were in the Village of Remsen.

Do you suppose I went a little crazy taking notes? I see I am over 600 words and I only got to Remsen. This could be a problem. I don’t like to tax my readers’ patience, so I’ll stop now and pick up here tomorrow.

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Your Average Lame Post

Posted on September 10, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

I guess about once a week I apologize for a lame post and hide behind the admittedly lame excuse that it’s hard to come up with a good topic every day (say it in a whiny voice, because we’re making fun of me). So here are some random observations about the Mohawk Valley and life in general.

I looked out the window at work the other day and saw a lady walking two medium sized dogs and carrying a baby with a blue hat in a back pack. That’s the kind of multi-tasking I can get behind: walking two dogs and a baby. In general, multi-tasking is the great myth of the ’00s. You can’t properly do two things at once most of the time. Sometimes it is hard enough for me just to task.

In writing and speaking, I’ve noticed you can use any hoary cliche and still sound erudite as long as you add the words “the proverbial.” I used to avoid cliches like the proverbial plague. Now I feel free as the proverbial bird. But what if everybody starts doing it all the time? Then I’ll feel like I’ve created the proverbial monster. That makes me nervous. Now I’m feeling like the proverbial cat on the proverbial hot tin roof, so I’ll move on.

We’ve had quite a bit of flooding lately. I don’t believe this can be traced back to my wish for a rainy Sunday, but if it can, sorry. And to the weather, I say, “Lay off, will ya?”

So fall has unofficially started, what with Labor Day passed and all. Some people are pedantically pointing out that September 23 is the real first day of fall. Not that there’s anything wrong with being pedantic. I’ve been known to indulge in a little pedantry myself. Halloween decorations are in the stores, right alongside Christmas. Is it too early to start watching Halloween movies? That might be a good topic for a blog post.

I see I’m over 300 words (love that word count feature), so I guess I can stop. I’d say this has been better than some posts, worse that others. There are worse things than being average. As always, thank you for reading.

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Saturday Run

Posted on September 4, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

Last week I gave the perhaps unneeded advice to don’t wait four days before running. This week, I was much smarter. I ran Monday, then I ran Friday. Three days is clearly fewer than four. Even if my Friday run sucked, it would probably suck less, and my Saturday run would be way better. As it turns out, not so much.

My Friday run was a lesson in perseverance. That’s OK. I can always use more lessons in perseverance. I looked forward to Saturday’s run.

My legs were immediately like, “What’s this all about? Stop it now!” And there’s a grammatical construction many people criticize: saying “like” when you mean “said.” As in: I was like, “Di-duh, di-duh,” and he was like, “Da-dih, da-dih,” etc. Well, my legs cannot actually say anything, so I think “my legs were like” is actually fairly descriptive.

You would think that as I pondered that in my head, my legs would stop complaining. In fact, I did think that, but to no avail. I ran on, and looked for other things to distract myself with.

I saw a girl being dropped off at a house and wondered if she was coming off a one-night-stand. Then I said, “Watch it, Cindy, this is a family blog.” More likely she was returning from a night shift somewhere. The time was right. I felt happy that I do not work nights, although some people like it.

I ran through the parking lot of the County Court Facility, a place I have never run. Often you find coins in a parking lot. Not this morning. I suppose people try to hold tight to their money when they go to court.

I ran down a street whose name I had not noticed before. It was a first name that I shall not repeat, in case any reader might rejoice in that name (that is an expression I love, “rejoicing in the name of blank”). I’ve always thought it was the ultimate geek name, and not geek in the good sense of the word. You know, somebody really smart, but just a little off kilter and socially awkward, usually loving sci-fi. The one person I ever knew of this name was none of that, except for the socially awkward part. When you first met him you might think he was a nice, friendly guy. Then you realized he was not particularly nice, he was being friendly because he had no friends, and although he apparently wanted some, there were a few good reasons he had none. It would have been sad, except the guy was so annoying it was hard to feel sorry for him. While I pondered the memory of this guy, and how I couldn’t call him a geek because in fact I like geeks, and how I’d like to meet somebody I like of that name, I had run down a few more streets and was approaching my street again.

I ran past my street in order to make my run the length I wanted. I had my reward, because I met up with Pudge. Pudge is the cutest pug dog. When he sees me coming, he sits down very nicely and waits for me, because he knows I want to pet him. Then when I get there, he’s so jumpy and wiggly, I almost can’t pet him. I tried my best to pet my wiggly canine friend, exchanged greeting with his owner, and ran on.

By now my legs’ complaints had quieted to the proverbial dull roar. I have not had that “I can rock this” feeling on a run in a while now. I’ll persevere though (after all, I had a lesson in it Friday). It’s almost fall, and that’s a beautiful time to run in the Mohawk Valley (phew! I almost went the whole post without mentioning the Mohawk Valley). (Is is bad to end a piece of writing with a parenthetical comment?)

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Another Lame Post

Posted on September 3, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

I have now written over 100 blog posts. Some, obviously, have been better than others, and a few have been downright lame. Well, stand by for a lame one.

OK, I’ve just typed in three different paragraphs and deleted them. I’ll just come out and say it: I have not done anything Mohawk Valley-ish since Saturday. I have been in the Mohawk Valley all that time, so one could argue that everything I have done has been Mohawk Valley-ish. I think one would be groping to argue such a thing, and I think my readers would call me on it.

I have run twice and walked four times. My running and walking posts have been fairly successful, but I believe I had one of each last week. And both runs and walks have been singularly uneventful.

This is the start of a three day weekend. I finally have a job where I get three day weekends, like civilized people do. I could write a whole post about how wonderful that is, how I sang silly songs all day and kept asking my co-workers, “Do we really have a three day weekend?” But that’s not particularly Mohawk Valley-ish, and those last three sentences are pretty much what I have to say about it.

I could list all the wonderful activities that beckon this weekend, a tantalizing preview of coming attractions. Unfortunately, I don’t have specific plans yet and am merely trusting my luck to find something blogworthy after tomorrow morning’s run.

What I was really hoping for was a witty, self-deprecating post about how I stupidly find myself with not much to say. I’m beginning to think that that is not going to happen.

Then again, someone may get a chuckle out of this. If you do, yay. If not, thank you for playing, and I’ll have another post tomorrow. We’ll hope for the best.

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Pre-Adventure Activities

Posted on August 31, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

Saturday I wanted to get an early start on our Fly Creek adventure. I did not go so far as to set my alarm, though. I had done that for the DARE run the previous Saturday (it’s like a game: how many more posts can I mention the DARE run in?). I feel that was perfectly acceptable, but to set my alarm merely to get up and do random fun things on a day off struck me as too much. All this by way of saying, I did not get as early a start as I had wanted.

I went running first thing. Come to think of it, I did a blog post on that. Nothing further to report.

We needed some money for our adventures, so we went to First Source Federal Credit Union, which holds our Mad Money account. I love the Herkimer branch of First Source, because they are dog friendly. We walked down with our dog one time to make a deposit, and Steven stayed discreetly outside with Tabby while I went in.

“Oh, you can bring your dog in,” the teller told me. I immediately went and told Steve. Tabby is, even if I say it myself, an exceptionally adorable dog. The tellers all admired her, a couple even coming out to pet her. They also gave her a treat, of which they keep a supply to give dogs in cars utilizing the drive through. I think Tabby cares more for the attention than the treat, but she liked that too.

Ever since that day, we almost always walk to the bank with Tabby to transact our business, rather than using the drive through, phone lines, or on-line banking, the last of which I don’t properly understand anyways. We like to take Tabby for a walk before we leave her for a few hours anyways, so we put her on the leash and enjoyed the very pleasant morning weather. They almost forgot to give Tabby her treat at the bank, but Steven reminded them.

Consequently, the morning was farther advanced than I had anticipated when we started for Fly Creek. We did not mind. It was the beginning of another fun Saturday in the Mohawk Valley.

A note to my readers: If you read all my posts (and I don’t flatter myself that many people do), you may notice that the events in today’s post actually preceded the events in Sunday’s post. Well, I started out to write about the Cider Mill and got a little sidetracked. I thought it would be OK, and I hope to finally get to the Cider Mill tomorrow.

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Posted in animals, dogs, First Source Federal Credit Union, Fly Creek, Herkimer, humor, Mohawk Valley. Bookmark the permalink.

On the Way to Fly Creek

Posted on August 29, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

Saturday Steven and I headed to Fly Creek, hoping to have another fabulous Saturday that would generate multiple blog posts, as our trip to Little Falls did a couple of weeks ago.

We drove through Mohawk and out Route 28 South, a road we haven’t taken since the last time we drove out to Fly Creek. We got stuck behind an RV and a semi, but we didn’t mind much. We were in no hurry, and there is a lot to look at on that road.

First we drove up Vickerman Hill, and congratulated ourselves once again on not buying a house we looked at out that way. It was a nice house, although smaller than what we wanted, and living in a more rural area has its charms. However, fun as it may be to drive that hill on a dry, bare road, I can’t help but imagine doing it in a snowstorm. Yikes!

The views as you drive down Route 28 are incredible. You can see for miles over wooded hills and farmland. Lovely green this time of year, and we promised ourselves to drive this way again when the fall colors are at their height.

We saw a few businesses we’d like to check out sometime, notably Mr. Shake. There is a Mrs. Shake in Mohawk, and I’d like to ask if they are related. I foolishly did not make a note of the other business names, but there is another ice cream/lunch place I know is good because I stopped there once with my mom and sister Cheryl. There is also a nursery we stopped at. We didn’t stop Saturday, though. Too late for additions to my container garden now!

We also passed some cool looking barns and beautiful stone church, which I believe is actually called The Old Stone Church. And we noted some wonderful waterfront properties along Schuyler Lake. I wished we were friends with some of them, so we could visit and sit on their decks and look at the water. So peaceful.

We soon came to Fly Creek, where we were ready to take on part two of our adventure. So at least I will have gotten two blog posts out of the day.

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