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A Labor of Lame

I have about 12 minutes to make a blog post before the next episode of Dateline: Secrets Uncovered on Oxygen.  I want to sit on my couch and knit!  But I do not want to make this post tomorrow morning. I want to make it now.  So here I am.  I originally wanted to have a blog to get myself to write every day.  Alas, as Truman Capote once said, “That’s not writing, that’s typing.”  I have applied that quote to this blog before.

I just got back from the last rehearsal for Murder by the Book, the murder mystery we are doing tomorrow at Morning Star Methodist Church in Ilion, NY (see Wednesday’s post for more information).  Last night I had rehearsal for Morning’s at Seven, the full-length play I am in at Ilion Little Theatre.  I have had rehearsal for one or the other all week, feeling grateful that I did not have any days of two rehearsals (but only because Monday’s second rehearsal got cancelled).  I am rehearsaled out! I know, I know, that should be “rehearsed out.”  Sometimes the grammatically correct expression just doesn’t feel right (feel write?).

Have I mentioned yet that today is Lame Post Friday?  Or did you perhaps catch on by the title?  And I see I am over 200 words, just in the introductory paragraphs.  Do I dare hit Publish on this meager nonsense?  YES! Happy Friday, folks!  Let’s all hope for a better post on Saturday.



A Better Blog Post Would Have Been Nice

Some things in life fall under the heading, “It would have been nice.”  I expressed that thought on Facebook once and came across it just now on my On This Day.  I really enjoy On This Day.  Sometimes I find that I once said something witty or profound or, you know, at least worth repeating.  Dare I say, worth making blog post about?  Because other than this, I got nuthin’.

It is kind of a weird week for me.  I know, how does that make it different?  My life never goes according to plan, and that may be because I rarely have a plan.  I’ve heard that if you fail to plan you really plan to fail, but isn’t that kind of a contradiction?  You plan by not planning?  That’s too paradoxical for me.  The fact is, I have learned that when I make a plan, something usually comes along and blows it all to hell.  Or at least upsets things and requires I make adjustments.

Some people feel they can take all possibilities into consideration while making a plan.  Personally, I am usually surprised by an unexpected contingency.  Now, I have a pretty wild imagination, so if I can be surprised by developments, how can more mundane mortals take everything into account?  Maybe life is trying harder to surprise me.  Well played, Life

I’ve probably published nonsense like this before.  Of course I never plan to repeat myself.  However, it is a frequently observed fact that shit happens.  I’m going to put a silly headline on this and call it a day.  Happy Non-Sequitur Thursday, everyone.


Bring on Boris Karloff!

Oh, I had not meant to make a Wrist to Forehead Sunday post.  I meant to have Sunday Running Commentary and even ran with that very purpose in mind (as well as health, weight-loss and 5K preparation purposes).  But then I had to go grocery shopping, then I started doing laundry, then I had a headache so lay down, then I fell asleep till Steven came home, then I was cooking…

It’s starting to look like a Scattered Sunday.  In fact, I don’t feel particularly wrist-to-forehead right now.  Only, I want to make a quick post, so Steven and I can get on to the movie watching portion of the evening.  He brought some of our Christmas movies down from the attic.  I particularly want to see How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the real one, meaning the cartoon narrated by the inimitable Boris Karloff.  For one reason, I can pretend we’re watching a horror movie.  I adore Boris Karloff.

I am in the midst of cooking a couple of things that might make good cooking posts.  Additionally, I have extended posts to write about some of the Mohawk Valley businesses I patronized on Shop Small Saturday.  All kinds of blog topics, yet here I am hurriedly typing in nonsense (full disclosure:  I paused in my typing to go stir some stuff out in the kitchen).

Then again, this is what I do.  I publish nonsense on many occasions.  But I hope sometimes at least I amuse and entertain.  Or do I flatter myself?  That thought will give me a wrist to forehead moment.  Happy Sunday, everyone.


An Infinite Number of Blog Posts

I cannot continue to publish post after post about how busy and tired I am.  Or can I?

The fact is, I find that I can always write SOMETHING.  My time spent gazing at a blank page does not last very long.  Of course, I don’t always write what I wanted to write. I can’t say what percentage of the time I write something good (although my inner critic will offer an opinion).  But words on paper, I can usually provide.

I think this is a good thing.  If nothing else, I’m helping keep the pen and paper people in business.  Additionally, I have always said: writing begets more writing.  If I keep writing nonsense, I increase the chances that I sooner or later churn out something worthwhile.   Or is that the infinite number of monkeys theory?

Let’s talk about that theory.  Of course I often spoil sayings by taking them too literally.  It’s kind of a hobby of mine.

The saying goes — and I’m not sure what the point is — that if you have an infinite number of monkeys bouncing around on an infinite number of typewriters, you will eventually get all of Shakespeare (it’s kind of an old saying; who uses a typewriter any more?).

Excuse me, what?  Leaving aside the infinite aspect of the situation (which makes it one of those impossible hypotheticals which I loathe), how exactly does this work?  Will the plays magically appear amidst the gibberish?  Or is it like a seek-a-word puzzle, you cross out all extraneous letters?  That might be fun.  Let’s try it.  Here I go, randomly hitting keys…

lkwhnfndbnb  b nmae,juisnb  oakn mblm jbiam  ,elmjhbun cvnvefn  g  kvjuiH.

I think it would take a damn long time to get “To be or not to be” out of that.  Do we also have an infinite amount of time in the saying?

As I said a few paragraphs ago, I’m not sure what the point is.  Perhaps some didactic type could explain it to me.  In the meantime, I’m up to over 300 words of this nonsense.  I’m going to call it a post.  Happy Tuesday, folks.


What, Bloggers Don’t Get Holidays?

Merry Christmas Eve, to all my readers, regular and irregular (you know who you are).

It’s Tuesday, but it feels like Saturday, because I have the day off;, it feels like Sunday, because I’m very wrist-to-foreheady; and it feels like Friday, because I’m about to do an extremely lame post (and what does my computer mean by telling me “wrist-to-foreheady” is not a word? You all know what I mean, don’t you?).

My current stress is really all my fault, because of my silly obsession with posting every day. Not all bloggers post every day. Some post weekly or three times a week or just when they darn well feel like it.

Full disclosure: I don’t really feel all that stressed. I love Christmas Eve; it is my favorite day of the year. I confess to a certain… urgency. I want to post this before I have to finish loading the SUV and run a couple of errands before picking up my dear husband at his not-so-dear job (YES! We’re happy he has a job in this economy; doesn’t mean it couldn’t be a little better in some respects) (ooh, that might form the basis of some half-baked philosophy for when it really is Lame Post Friday).

I don’t have to finish it right now. We are going to my parents’ house and I could happily make my blog post from there; I’ve done it before. Only by then I will want to sit in the kitchen, eating good food and making silly jokes with everybody.

You know, it really is great fun to sit here at the computer typing nonsense. Who invented this blogging thing? I must send that person a thank you note.

Ooh, almost 300 words. That’s quite respectable. I’ll try to say something less nonsensical tomorrow. Then again, it will be Christmas.