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This is Not What I Wrote on Break at Work

Oh this is dreadful.  I was so determined NOT to have a Wuss-out Wednesday.  I brought all my notes and fliers from the weekend’s adventures to work with me.  When it was break time I opened my notebook and started writing!

Well, first I couldn’t settle on a lead.  That shouldn’t matter, I told myself.  Just write something, anything.  You can always edit later.  I wrote a sentence.  Crossed it out.  Wrote another sentence.  Crossed it out.  Consulted my notes.  Realized I had left at least one flier at home.  Sat with my pen poised over the notebook till the buzzer rang and I had to go back to work.

During a ten minute break, by the way, I had worked on, I think, three potential blog posts and one article for Mohawk Valley Living magazine.  If anyone is gearing up to lecture me on focus, just give it a rest.  I gotta be me.

Back at work, I pondered my dilemma.  I picked one topic I thought I could get written.  I considered the different things I could write about it.  I went to lunch, opened my notebook, picked up my pen, and started writing.

I got almost a whole page done.  Aaahh.  I didn’t hate it.  I barely crossed anything out.   I was following my notes and adding insights and observations.  I could so write!  This was going to be just fine, a perfectly acceptable blog post.

And then the whole thing just  kind of petered out.  I was maybe a quarter of the way through my notes.  I reminded myself that I did not have to use ALL my notes.  But how many notes should I use?  Had I used the notes I’d used so far to best advantage?  Was this really anything anybody would want to read?

I know, this is inner critic carping that one must tune out while in the throes of composition.  The problem is, the bitch had a point.  What I had written may indeed have been perfectly acceptable, but I could do better.  It was almost the end of lunch time anyways.  I could fix everything later.

Who knew I would be so tired after work?  Oh, I know YOU probably did (you know who you are).  For heaven’s sake, three ten-hour days, two rehearsals, not a lot of sleep, swelteringly hot, humid weather.  AND NO, I AM NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT THE HEAT, I AM MERELY POINTING OUT THE FACT THAT IT MAKES ME TIRED!!!  Jeezum.

On the brighter side, some readers enjoy posts about the writing process.  I myself often enjoy reading what other bloggers have to say on the subject.  On the even brighter side, I still have the stuff I wrote today.  I can look it over and edit, add, polish etc, tomorrow.  And I don’t have rehearsal tonight.  I can go to bed early.

I hope you are all having a stellar mid-week.


9 responses »

  1. SNL on the Run

    Sometimes I find it hard to write, I’ll have all these great ideas when I’m running or driving or something and won’t be able to write them down and can’t remember them later! Plus, I feel like I try to write what I think others would be interested in, so idk, someday are good some bad! 🙂

    • I’ve had the experience too of running or driving and thinking of the most marvelous plot developments or bon mots for the blog, then when I sit down to write… nada. But sometimes it goes well. For example, today I sat down and wrote another page on the post I couldn’t finish yesterday. Problem was, it doesn’t quite fit with what I wrote before. Can I reconcile the pages now? We’ll see! Thanks for reading and commenting.

  2. Thank you for this post! I feel like I go through this every week. I’ve been struggling so much with writers block this summer. I’ve had to force myself to just sit down and write something, even if its crap. It does help, but I feel the same way you do…I know I can do better. Writing can feel so isolating sometimes, so its nice to know others are going through the same thing.

    • Thank you for this comment! Sometimes I get a little self-conscious about making another post about how I can’t write a post, but then I can only write what comes out of my pen (or keyboard as the case may be). I hope your writers block goes away soon. In the meantime, remember that often when you write something,anything, it is better than you think it is. Sometimes when you let it sit then look at it later, it doesn’t read too bad.

  3. You write about writing, we read what you write about writing, which wonders if we also write about writing and that makes me assume you’ll read what we write about writing. Oh, what a tangled web we writers weave, Cynthia. This week and weekend I have been writing my The Thin Air Series, going over hundreds of iPhone 6 photos I took in Estes Park and the Rocky Mountains and Denver over five days for my dear wife Karen’s family reunion. The photos act as notes, reminding me what I saw, what I thinking at the time, and what I want to share about what I saw and why I’m deciding to post that particular picture. The daily series will stretch through this Saturday. It’s way longer than the trip was itself. I guess that says something about my blogging process, too.

    • It is an often observed phenomenon that writers are endlessly fascinated by each other’s working processes. I think we’re all trying to find the Secret when of course there is no secret. But writing is just such the best thing to do ever! Oh, except for reading. Reading is really the best thing to do ever. I look forward to reading your posts about the Rocky Mountains.

  4. Pingback: More Nonsense on a Monday | Mohawk Valley Girl

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