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It’s Only Tuesday, But I Ran

I thought I should run yesterday in the low humidity, but I felt SO TIRED after work, I thought running Monday in the low humidity would be as onerous as running Tuesday in the high humidity.  The weather report this morning told me the dew point was at “humid” today and would be at “oppressive” tomorrow.  I told everybody at work to enjoy today, tomorrow will be worse.  You see how optimistic I can be.

Be that as it may, I felt after work today that I had to do SOMETHING.   I felt tired and coated with sweat. I felt down.  I felt sad.  I knew sitting on the couch and vegging out in front of Facebook was not the way to go.  I did not want to, but I decided to run.  It might not be a good run.  It might not be a long run.  But I would run.

What can I say?  It was not a good run.  It was not a long run.  I waited in vain for the endorphins to kick in.  Well, you’ll have these runs, especially in the middle of summer (please do NOT take out your calendar and show me precisely where the middle of summer is, I KNOW it is probably not today, stop being so didactic) (you know who you are).  I made up my mind I would continue for at least 20 minutes and I made it for 24.  I walked my full 10 minute cool-down.  We’ll see if it makes me feel better tomorrow.

In the meantime, it is not much of a blog post, is it?  I narrated in my head and tried to notice things as I ran.  I appreciated the grey skies, although I neither expected nor got rain.  The only noteworthy thing I remember was an Amish buggy on Caroline Street.  I said, “A horsey! Hi, horsey!”  The horse nodded his head at me (or perhaps I read into it).

The saddest thing is, I keep thinking, “Well, it is Wuss-out Wednesday,” and have to keep telling myself, “It’s TUESDAY, dammit!  TUESDAY!”  I will get over my disappointment, of course.  Probably tomorrow, when it is Wednesday.  Unless I think it is Thursday.  Damn.

At least I didn’t think it was Friday!

This is Not What I Wrote on Break at Work

Oh this is dreadful.  I was so determined NOT to have a Wuss-out Wednesday.  I brought all my notes and fliers from the weekend’s adventures to work with me.  When it was break time I opened my notebook and started writing!

Well, first I couldn’t settle on a lead.  That shouldn’t matter, I told myself.  Just write something, anything.  You can always edit later.  I wrote a sentence.  Crossed it out.  Wrote another sentence.  Crossed it out.  Consulted my notes.  Realized I had left at least one flier at home.  Sat with my pen poised over the notebook till the buzzer rang and I had to go back to work.

During a ten minute break, by the way, I had worked on, I think, three potential blog posts and one article for Mohawk Valley Living magazine.  If anyone is gearing up to lecture me on focus, just give it a rest.  I gotta be me.

Back at work, I pondered my dilemma.  I picked one topic I thought I could get written.  I considered the different things I could write about it.  I went to lunch, opened my notebook, picked up my pen, and started writing.

I got almost a whole page done.  Aaahh.  I didn’t hate it.  I barely crossed anything out.   I was following my notes and adding insights and observations.  I could so write!  This was going to be just fine, a perfectly acceptable blog post.

And then the whole thing just  kind of petered out.  I was maybe a quarter of the way through my notes.  I reminded myself that I did not have to use ALL my notes.  But how many notes should I use?  Had I used the notes I’d used so far to best advantage?  Was this really anything anybody would want to read?

I know, this is inner critic carping that one must tune out while in the throes of composition.  The problem is, the bitch had a point.  What I had written may indeed have been perfectly acceptable, but I could do better.  It was almost the end of lunch time anyways.  I could fix everything later.

Who knew I would be so tired after work?  Oh, I know YOU probably did (you know who you are).  For heaven’s sake, three ten-hour days, two rehearsals, not a lot of sleep, swelteringly hot, humid weather.  AND NO, I AM NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT THE HEAT, I AM MERELY POINTING OUT THE FACT THAT IT MAKES ME TIRED!!!  Jeezum.

On the brighter side, some readers enjoy posts about the writing process.  I myself often enjoy reading what other bloggers have to say on the subject.  On the even brighter side, I still have the stuff I wrote today.  I can look it over and edit, add, polish etc, tomorrow.  And I don’t have rehearsal tonight.  I can go to bed early.

I hope you are all having a stellar mid-week.