Category Archives: personal

Ask Me No Questions, I’ll Tell You No Lame

Posted on September 8, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

Why does writing for Lame Post Friday become increasingly difficult?

Actually, I think I’ve just incorporated the two elements of Lame Post Friday: Random Observation: it becomes increasingly difficult to write Friday Lame Posts. Half-Baked Philosophy: Why?

And that’s pretty much as far as I can go with that.

Here’s another random observation, though: it often threatens rain long before it actually rains. Which raises the half-baked philosophical question: What exactly is the “it” referred to in the previous sentence?

Random observation number three: I have now asked two half-baked philosophical questions but made no attempt to answer either one. Related philosophical question: Why not? Related observation: Philosophy often raises questions which it does not intend to answer.

This is becoming an increasingly silly post (random observation number five!). Is that a problem? (philosophical question four; if this was a game, random observations would be ahead)

I do have some Mohawk Valley adventures planned for the weekend. I’m having a personal adventure now, but I think it would be really lame to recount how I’m dying my hair. Wait a minute…

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Oh Oh, Auditions!

Posted on September 7, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

I was unsure whether to hyphenate oh-oh or put in exclamation points, Oh! Oh! or use the comma. I may change my mind by the end of the post.

Yesterday my husband, Steven, held the first night of auditions for Dirty Work at the Crossroads, the Gay ’90s melodrama he is directing for Ilion Little Theatre. You might think that since I am sleeping with the director, I would approach these auditions without nerves, and so I did, uh, didn’t. Not too much, anyways.

It is a short drive from our house in Herkimer, NY to Remington Avenue in Ilion where the theatre is located. This is a good thing, especially since we almost forgot the scripts. I knew if we had forgotten anything else I would be easily able to retrieve it while Steven stalled. In fact, we were cool.

Some people were already waiting for us when we arrived. Soon we actors were filling out our audition sheets. I put all wise-ass answers on mine. Like I said, not too many nerves. Several people were a little confused by the last question, “Is there anything else you’d like us to know?” When I typed up the audition sheets I was thinking of things like, “I know stage combat” or “I’ll work backstage if not cast” or “I can tap dance.” Um, I don’t think there is any stage combat or tap dancing in the show, but we will have a backstage.

At last it was time to be on stage reading the scenes. I was at a slight advantage since I read the play last weekend. People caught on to the characters and situations pretty fast, though, and it was entertaining to watch. At auditions I always like to see other people read a scene before I read it, so I can steal their good ideas. After all, plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.

Some really talented people showed up for auditions, but I’m afraid not enough to cast the show. The second round of auditions is tonight, so I hope Steven will get a few more people. I’m sorry I did not write this post last night and post it right away. If I post it within the next twenty minutes, people will have exactly one hour to read it, decide to audition and show up. Now how many readers do I think are going to tune right in and act on what I write? How many local readers do you suppose I have? As the great Fats Waller said, “One never knows, do one?”

Auditions continue tonight, September 6 at 7 p.m. at Ilion Little Theatre, The Stables, Remington Avenue, Ilion, NY. For more information visit their website at http://www.ilionlittletheatre.com or their Facebook page.

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The Red Apple Delivers

Posted on September 6, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

A local restaurant recently made a comeback, so I thought I’d give them a shout out.

The Red Apple on Main Street in Mohawk suffered a fire. They were boarded up and blocked with stern yellow tape for what seemed like the longest time. The OPEN sign perched mockingly in one window. Well, why wouldn’t it be there? When there is a fire, the operative thing to do is GET OUT, not worry about turning the sign over to “Sorry, We’re Closed.”

I drive by the place almost every day after work and was pleased to see first when clean-up had started and second when they had re-opened. After they helpfully left a menu on our front porch, I suggested we order delivery.

From the appetizers we selected Crab Rangoon with Cheese Wontons and Fried Scallop. The rangoon we usually get but had never tried the scallops. For our entree we went with General Tso’s Chicken. That is one of my favorites, although I’m never sure exactly how much you’re supposed to pronounce the T. A friend of mine just asks for “The General’s Chicken,” really a very sensible way to order it; I’ve never seen another general on a Chinese menu.

Our dinner arrived in due course. Steven tried unsuccessfully to keep Tabby from greeting the delivery guy (I was no help; I was busy doing an anacrostic puzzle). The food did not disappoint. The scallops were yummy, and the crab rangoons were some of the best I’ve had.

Another menu was included with our order. I looked at it and saw another dozen or so things I’d like to try, particularly from the Thai Style Cooking section. Oh dear, just when I was thinking I ought to cook for myself a little more often.

Red Apple is located at 10 E. Main St., Mohawk, NY, telephone 315-866-1788, fax 315-866-1833. They are open seven days a week: Monday through Thursday 11 a.m. to 10:30 p.m., Friday and Saturday 11 a.m. to 11 p.m., and Sunday noon to 10 p.m.

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Half-Baked Holiday

Posted on September 3, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

No, this is not a post about eating raw cookie dough. Although there’s an idea…

I am enjoying my three day weekend. And before anybody starts grumbling about how THEY don’t have the weekend off, I’M SORRY!!! I worked retail and I was in the army: I worked PLENTY of weekends and holidays (and I know where the caps lock button is on my keyboard).

I guess some people have worked more than me. Others have worked less (worked less in general; I know it is worked fewer holidays). And this is where I stop myself from going into some half-baked philosophy suitable for Lame Post Friday (and maybe some linguistic philosophy about why “more” can work quantitatively as well as qualitatively while when it’s not so much we have to worry about “less” and “fewer”). But I digress.

Digress from what, you may ask. Well you may ask. Keep asking, in fact. Because once again, I got nuthin’. I didn’t have any Mohawk Valley adventures yesterday. I did go to the Ilion Farmer’s Market, but nothing new happened there. I stopped by the liquor store, but if I mention that, you’ll all just think I’m some kind of lush (oops). I don’t even have a sinus headache, so I can’t use the calling in sick excuse.

I have plans to watch a couple of cheesy horror movies later today, so we do have some excellent coming attractions. I cleverly looked ahead to what was showing on TCM and set my DVR accordingly. I started reading the script of Dirty Work at the Crossroads, Ilion Little Theatre’s upcoming production, so I will be able to produce a more detailed write-up, for my theatre-minded readers (without giving away any major plot points or the dramatic conclusion, OF COURSE) (there’s that caps lock button again). I ran again today and plan to tomorrow, so I will try to entertain with running commentary.

Well, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: this is what sometimes happens when I insist on writing a post every day. Some of them are not very good. In my defense, it’s my three day weekend and I am enjoying it. I hope you are enjoying yours. Hope to see you Monday (figuratively speaking).

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I’ve Missed Running!

Posted on September 1, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

Today I hark back to my old favorite habit of running on Saturday morning then writing a blog post about it.

I don’t know if anyone has noticed I have not made a post about running in a while. In fact, I have not run since the DARE 5K two weeks ago. I didn’t even run the Superhero Sprint. Don’t judge.

I got up and had a couple of cups of coffee with my husband, Steven, before doing anything drastic. I am really looking forward to the fall and winter. Then I can get up with Steven, have coffee, maybe eat something, see him off to work at 9:15 or 9:45 as the case may be, then, later on when the sun is high in the sky, go for a run. Then again, running earlier in the morning also has its charms.

One of the main charms, of course, is less traffic. I had to cross German Street, because I had made up my mind to run the hill by Valley Health. I found an opportunity without too much difficulty. The Valley Health hill, of course, is respectable but doable. I’ve written about that hill before.

As I ran toward it, I realized that running was not the thrill I had been hoping for. Of course I did not expect to take two weeks off and be in tip top shape. But I did think, well, it was only two weeks not a month, I’ve been eating healthily and taking regular walks at least, and the temperature was nice, humidity low. I thought I could rock it. Well, I could persevere, so I did.

I saw a man running toward me on the opposite of the street. Ooh, he was good. I was pleased to note he was on the sidewalk. German Street has a perfectly nice sidewalk but some runners will insist on running in the road where there is really not enough space.

“Oh, you’re much faster than me!” I called to him. I didn’t catch what he yelled back, but I believe it was encouraging.

I ran by a porch where I saw some chairs with cushions surrounding a table with a citronella candle. I pictured friends and/or family sitting out last night, enjoying the blue moon. At least, when I looked out with was cloudy, but perhaps there were times when the moon showed through.

As I ran by some college apartments I saw a few kids sitting on the stoop talking. I wondered if they were waiting for a ride to somewhere fun. I have always found that there is something magical about early morning, especially on a Saturday when you don’t have to work. I could feel the magic. What will I do today?

The hill was really no problem at all. I guess I haven’t completely lost it in two weeks. As I started back down on the other end of the building, I looked across at the mountains. I thought that I am definitely a Valley Girl now.

I was almost halfway into my run when I reached the I Can Rock This stage. Oh yeah! It helped that the rest of the run was on fairly level ground. Never mind, I told myself. It is perfectly respectable to run on level ground. I don’t have to do hills all the time.

I saw two young girls running together on the opposite side of the street. I miss running with a buddy, which I was occasionally able to do in the army.

“Good job, ladies,” I called.

“You too,” one of them said.

I really felt I was doing a good job. I felt great after my run, especially after I had showered and eaten a fried egg in a whole wheat pita. I’m still not sure what all I will do with the rest of my day, but if I have any Mohawk Valley adventures, I will be sure to share.

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But I Like to Write

Posted on September 1, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

I did not write my blog post while at work today. I worked on my novel. There, I’ve said it.

I don’t like to talk about the fact that I’m writing a novel. I’ve started too many novels and not finished them. I used to talk about my novels all the time. It was a mistake. I usually got a disgusted look and “That’s been done.” The worst (although I’m sure she didn’t mean it that way) was a friend who said I needed a Kilgore Trout. Kilgore Trout, if you did not know, was a Kurt Vonnegut character. Trout was a novelist, and Vonnegut would describe the books he wrote. In other words, I am only a fictional novelist.

It’s true, I suppose. I’ve written pages and pages of novels but only ever finished one. And it wasn’t very good. I know a lot of crap gets published. I know because I read some of it. Some of it I start reading and can’t finish because it’s too crappy and, as noted, I’m not hung up on finishing things. However, the crappiest novel published has one advantage over all but one of mine: it is finished.

This is not what I meant to write about. I set out to do a common or garden Friday Lame Post (“common or garden” is one of my favorite descriptive phrases). In the interests of accuracy, I like to say whether I write my post at work or compose it at the keyboard. So I suppose it was in the interests of accuracy that I blurted out the reason why I hadn’t written the post at work.

I don’t know why I should suddenly feel all exposed to my readers, like I’ve let fall some shameful secret. In the first place, many of my readers are my friends and family, who must surely know I have not given up on my dream of writing novels. And I am willing to bet that most bloggers are closet novelists (which is not quite the same thing as a real estate novelist, as sung about by Billy Joel). I like to think most people write a blog because they LIKE TO WRITE.

Ooh, there’s a bit of half-baked philosophy; maybe I can segue back into Lame Post Friday from here. Bloggers like to write. I like to write. However, I have seen quotes from writers (I’m a big one for reading collections of notable quotes) to the effect of: I hate to write but love to have written. I think I may have talked about this before. How lame is that, to repeat myself? I AM segueing back into Lame Post Friday!

Random observation (just to make my Lame Post Friday complete): it is a full moon tonight, the second full moon of August. Some say that makes it a blue moon, but there was some discussion on Facebook that what really makes a blue moon is four in one season. Huh? I’m not about to Google it and join in the fight.

I am about 500 words into the post and I have not yet reiterated for anyone unfamiliar with the term that Lame Post Friday is my day for random observations and half-baked philosophy. It is my day to Post Dumb if I feel like it. Guess I felt like it in spades today. Happy Friday, everyone.

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What All the Cool Villainesses are Wearing

Posted on August 26, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

Yesterday (Saturday) was the Superhero Sprint, sponsored by Herkimer Now, a group looking to revitalize downtown Herkimer, NY. I am completely behind that mission, so if I can help by looking foolish and having a few laughs, I definitely will.

Two days before the event, Steven and I went up to our attic and looked through some of our Halloween stuff. I easily found my big black cape, although I was skeptical of how comfortable that would be in the bright sunlight. Also, it looked a little vampirish. Then I found a large rectangle of blue and silver shimmery stuff and a piece of filmy white fabric. I could not find the small red cape I thought Tabby could wear, but I found a Christmas bow I could attach to her harness. I figured she would wear that without too much complaint and it would at least be costume-like. The rules stated all participants must be in costume, but I was sure they would use a generous definition of the term. Besides, who would tell a cute little dog she couldn’t run?

Steven preferred the blue and silver material for my cape. He said I could use the white, “But, remember, that’s the bowling pin’s Halloween costume.” Well, what does your bowling pin wear for Halloween?

I took a large pink t-shirt and drew a big C on it with fabric pen. I took another color and wrote “Evil Woman” over it and “CinCin” under it. I found a pair of shorts to go with it. Maybe real super villianesses wear tights (I’ve seen pictures), but perhaps they have a higher tolerance for eighty degrees in the sun.

My hair was more problematic, because it is growing out and has reached that annoying in-between stage where you can’t really do anything with it (I’ve been wearing a do-rag to work). Finally I put a headband on, then fastened to that the large white flower I wore a few weeks ago to the H.A.L.O. Luau Party. Pink running socks and blue running shoes completed my ensemble.

I pondered my eyewear for a moment. Generally when I run I wear a pair of old plastic glasses I got for cheap specifically for the purpose of running. Still, I didn’t think I’d be running very fast for this event. For one thing, I didn’t think Tabby would want to. And that sun was bright. I put on my purple prescription sunglasses. I thought they went with the outfit. I slathered on lots of sunscreen and put a couple of Tabby poop bags in my pocket. I was ready to go.

And I think I’ll sign off here, because I see I am over 400 words. Not a huge amount, of course, but I think I’ll find a LOT to say about the actual event. Stay tuned.

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Dirty Work in the Works

Posted on August 25, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

I might be working Saturday so obviously Friday is Just Not the Same. Therefore, I will post lame tomorrow. Today is more in the nature of Preview of Coming Attractions (lame enough, you say? I explain, “Shut up”).

(Note for regular readers to ignore: Usually Friday is Lame Post Friday, where I post random observations and half-baked philosophy. I hate saying it every week, but I don’t want to confuse new readers, if any.)

My husband Steven, as you may already know, loves the theatre and is very talented at many aspects of it (I don’t just say it because I’m his wife). I started to say he is a noted thespian, but that sounded too hoity-toity, artsier than thou (although I liked that Saturday Night Live sketch about the Master Thespian. “I’m ACTING!”).

Where was I? Ah yes, praising my husband. He has acted in several Ilion Little Theatre productions and gotten praise from audiences, directors and fellow cast members. He has been wanting to direct, which he did in college and other community theatres. He’s a good director.

All this by way of introducing Ilion Little Theatre’s 2012 Fall Production, Dirty Work at the Crossroads.

Dirty Work is a gay ’90s melodrama. That’s 1890s, not 1990s, which featured a different kind of gay. Steven thinks I’m silly to worry that people will get the two confused. I think some people don’t know what a melodrama is.

A melodrama has a definite hero, heroine and villain, and the audience is encouraged to cheer and boo accordingly. I suppose there is a fear in these post-ironic times that audiences will go the other way, but I hope not.

The villain should be a truly evil, mustache-twirling bad guy; the hero brave, true and handsome; the heroine… well, I personally might be a little disappointed in the heroine, because I think she just needs to be beautiful, good and get rescued. I haven’t read the play yet, so I don’t know for sure. Maybe this heroine has a little more on the ball. I can hope.

Melodramas usually feature exaggerated characterizations and emotions, and wild, exciting plots. These are the plays where the heroine gets tied to the railroad tracks. I’m told that doesn’t happen in this play, although I quite thought it did, since the set features railroad tracks. Oh dear, I hope I haven’t given away a major plot point (or lack thereof). I’d better check with Steven before I post this.

Auditions for Dirty Work at the Crossroads are set for Wednesday and Thursday, Sept. 5 and 6, at Ilion Little Theatre, The Stables, Remington Avenue, Ilion, NY. Production dates are October 19, 20, 21, 25, 26 and 27. For more information you can go to their website at http://www.illionlittletheater.org or you can Like their Facebook page. You can also stay tuned to Mohawk Valley Girl, as I intend to post updates. I also plan to audition. Do you suppose my husband will give me a part?

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I Might Be Super

Posted on August 24, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

Some time ago Steven saw a Facebook posting about a Superhero Sprint to be sponsored by Herkimer Now. He immediately recognized it as something that would interest me. It appealed to me on several levels.

In the first place, I’ve been meaning to sign up for more runs, to keep my legs moving if for no other reason (there are other reasons). In the second place, Herkimer Now, as I understand it, is a grassroots organization working to revitalize downtown Herkimer. That is definitely a worthy goal to support. If any other reason is needed… Superhero? Dress in costume? I am so there!

So I signed up right away and began pondering who I would be and what I would wear. I rejected out of hand any known heroes or villains. For one thing, I have no faith in my ability to render a convincing costume that is supposed to look a certain way. More importantly, for a person like me, it is much more fun to make something up.

I thought back to an old nickname of mine, seldom used but never forgotten, and decided to be a villainess: The Evil Woman CinCin.

I feel I should make a side note here. In general I try not to use gender divisions as in villain/villainess, hero/heroine, actor/actress (and here’s an interesting side side note: the word villainess isn’t even in my dictionary). As they say, we don’t call women doctors doctresses. (As another side side note, I believe I’ve used the term “waitress” in this blog, and I’m sorry about that. It’s a hard habit to break.) In the case of the Evil Woman CinCin, however, villainess seems to be the way to go.

I decided my superpowers would be an unerring knowledge of grammar and an extensive vocabulary. I would tell people I was didactic in the extreme, and if they asked what that meant I would tell them it means the same thing as pedantic. Bwah ha ha ha ha! I have a dictionary and I’m not afraid to use it! Oh, if only I would use my powers for good!

I decided my dog, Tabby, could accompany me. Of course she can’t be a villain or even a villainess. She’s too sweet. She’ll be the superhero whose arch nemesis I am. By day she is Tabitha, mild-mannered schnoodle. But when there is evil to fight she is… The Tabbiest! Her superpowers are extreme cuteness, unfailing friendliness and lots and lots of love (I think a lot of dogs share these superpowers). Oh, and the ability to forgive, another enviable canine trait.

I figure by the second book in the series, Tabby has reformed The Evil Woman CinCin and I become her hapless sidekick.

Having come up with this elaborate backstory, I’ve done nothing else about coming up with a costume. I figure I’ll go up to my attic and find a cape amongst my Halloween stuff. I’m not nuts about the idea of wearing a black cape on a sunny summer afternoon, but maybe one is reversible and I can put the red side out. And, yes, I saw The Incredibles (good movie); I know all about why supers should not wear capes. I don’t care. It’ll be a great visual, even if I don’t run very fast. Besides the cape… well, I’ve still got two days to come up with something.

And now, being me, I begin to second guess myself. Do I really think I am going to look any other way than doofy no matter what I come up with? When, you may well ask, have I ever had a problem with looking doofy? Then, too, I will be attending this even with only my dog for company. Won’t everybody else be there with friends and family? Will anybody speak to me or will I be lonely as well as doofy?

My fear of inadequacy increased when Herkimer Now posted on Facebook a picture of a member with rather impressive looking Wolverine claws. It wasn’t just that this guy is obviously going to have a way better costume than me. It’s that I’m not quite sure who Wolverine is (didn’t Hugh Jackman play him in a movie?). I realize I am not the least bit current with superhero lore. The last time I read comic books regularly was the early ’90s, when a friend who collected used to loan me his Justice Leagues. He also loaned me some Sandman, but I think that is more what you would call a graphic novel. Or are they all graphic novels now? You see how I have not kept up.

I don’t even watch superhero movies. The last one I saw Steven rented a couple years ago and I HATED it. (I shan’t tell you what it was, because I’m afraid of getting death threats from rabid fans.)

The one aspect of the whole thing I am not worried about is the run itself, even though I have not run a step since the DARE 5K. The Superhero Sprint, according to advance publicity, is not very long and the object is to to go very fast (unless, I suppose, that is your superpower). The object — stand by for me to start worrying again — is to be in COSTUME!

Looking back at the persona I’ve come up with, I gotta admit: pretty nerdy. And not a little cerebral. Will people get it? Or will I just look kind of dumb? You know, I had even thought about carrying a dictionary. That could get heavy. And I’d probably drop it on my foot.

What’s a Mohawk Valley Girl to do?

I sought reassurance on the Herkimer Now Facebook page. I posted asking how many people had signed up and admitting to being a little intimidated by that Wolverine guy (I got all cute about it and referred to him as the guy with the funky manicure). No response so far.

I will probably come up with some semblance of a costume and show up. Why not? Main Street in Herkimer is less than ten minutes from my house. If I get overheated or embarrassed, I can just walk home. And if I don’t get overheated or embarrassed, I’ll probably have a pretty good time.

The Superhero Sprint is from noon to 3 p.m. Saturday, August 25, Main Street, Herkimer, NY, with registration in front of the Courthouse. Registration is $2, to benefit Herkimer Now.

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Marina Meanderings

Posted on August 22, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

Saturday was a beautiful day: sunny, not too warm, low humidity, and Steven got off work early. A perfect day. What to do with it?

Steven was in the mood for a burger, so we decided to check out the Dockside Cafe at Ilion Marina. Naturally we took Tabby.

Ilion, NY, for you out of area readers (Hi, Rachel!), is almost immediately adjacent to Herkimer via State Route 5. The entrance to the marina is right next to the exit. It’s not a large marina, but it is a pleasant place to walk around.

We admired some of the RVs parked in the lot. What a great vacation: park your RV at the marina and sail off in your boat. I’m afraid my getaways are more pedestrian. Drive my truck to the marina and walk around with my husband and my dog. Still, that’s a pretty good thing to do, too. I was happy to be there.

At the window of the Dockside Cafe we ordered cheeseburgers. Steven also got macaroni salad and we both got bottles of water. We brought our water out the the deck and sat down to wait for our food.

It was perfect weather for eating outdoors. We looked out over the water then admired the nautical decor on the deck. I especially liked the carved wooden sailors on the railing. The tablecloths had a lighthouse design. I wondered if they got those locally. I have a couple of sisters and a cousin who would like such a thing for their outdoor living spaces.

After eating (excellent burgers, and the salad was yummy) (yes, I stole some), we walked down the path we hadn’t been on yet. We gave the people fishing a wide berth, in case Tabby picked that moment to start barking and scared the fish. As it happened, she kept quiet. After a while I suggested we drive to Frankfort, another short jaunt down Route 5, and check out their marina.

The stretch of river (or is it a canal? I ought to research these posts a little better) that Frankfort Marina is on is much quieter than in Ilion. A wooden dock lets the fishers get closer to the water. The dock went all the way around to the other side of the water, but we didn’t walk on it. There were a number of people fishing. Tabby had kept quiet in Ilion, but that was no guarantee. Also, you can’t count on strangers being happy to see a cute little dog when they are pursuing a hobby that calls for quiet.

The restaurant here looked a little fancier. At least, it was indoors and there was a stern sign reading, “No Dogs Allowed.” Well, if you don’t want me to bring my dog on the porch, I won’t bring my dog on the porch.

We wandered around between the fishers and the No Dogs Allowed area till my sinus headache started to kick in (see Sunday’s post). We drove home feeling we had taken at least a little advantage of the beautiful day.

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