Category Archives: writing

After Staring at a Blank Screen

Posted on August 2, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

It’s not that I can’t write. It’s that I can’t write a blog post!

I wrote more than two pages on my novel while at work today. OK, maybe they weren’t good pages. Maybe it’s a crappy novel. These things happen. The fact is I sat there and wrote them with a bare minimum of staring at the blank page first.

So I sit down to dash off a blog post and nothing. What’s that all about? I know damn well I wrote something about how writing the blog every day was helping me to write the novel. Is writing the novel now making me unable to write the blog? That’s ridiculous!

And obviously not true, because, look, I just wrote two paragraphs (I don’t count the first one; it’s only two sentences). I do find it interesting, if a little snake-eating-its-own-tail-ish, to write about writing. I like to read about writing, too. A writing friend of mine said she stopped doing that, because she feared she was reading about writing more than she was writing. When she said that, I just looked sheepish.

I do have some Mohawk Valley adventures planned for the weekend, one of which I alluded to in a post earlier this week (astute readers will know it when they see it) (extremely clever readers may have already guessed) (now I’m being too coy; OK, I’m done). I may even write another post about Why I Can’t Write a Post, this time thinking of something more substantive to say. In the meantime, this is Non-Sequitur Thursday, so I have only to think of a foolish headline, and I’m done.

Hope to see you on Lame Post Friday.

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Memory of Past Upsets

Posted on July 23, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I was not going to write a Middle-aged Musings Monday this week. Then in going through my notebook looking for a blank back of a page, I came across something I wrote some months ago. I was upset (never mind about what) and could not write. As I often do, I wrote about how I could not write. It was not a usable post (some of my more sarcastic readers are shuddering at the thought there there is some stuff worse than what I actually publish) (you know who you are), except for a couple of paragraphs I share with you now:

Writing this out is not helping. That has almost always been the case for me. Some people swear by writing when they are upset. They get it all out of their system and feel better. I do not experience this effect. When I write about what is upsetting me, I usually get more upset. I see how completely justified I am in being upset. I wonder why I am not more upset. I marvel at my self-restraint in not killing the people that are making me upset.

One might think this is because I was such a persuasive writer. However, in my adolescent past, when I was ill-advised enough to show what I had written to the culprits causing the upset, it did not bring them to acknowledge the error of their ways. They actually refused to see the irrefutable logic of my position. Their self-delusion appalled me.

I rather liked those last two paragraphs. Then again, perhaps my self-delusion is not appalling others. No matter. It’s Monday. I deem that a short, silly post is acceptable. If anyone disagrees, well, that might upset me. But I probably won’t write a post about how upset I am.

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Stopped by the Seine

Posted on July 7, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

So there I was, writing away at a post about a cheesy movie, when I began to write a sentence I had clearly written before. I completely remembered writing it. Those words were in my head, and I had put them there. Definitely. There was no way I could continue the sentence I was about to write next without using those very words again.

Why, you may argue, would that stop me? I repeat myself in this blog all the time, especially when I’m having any kind of trouble writing the damn thing. I argue back, in the first place, give me a break. In the second place, this sentence involved a murderer dumping a dead body into the Seine.

How many movies could that possibly have happened in? And how many of them could I possibly have seen recently? I was stopped cold.

Before I go on, a little background (another way to put this: in my defense). Earlier this week I experienced a flood. No, not as bad as other people have experienced (I’m also quite certain I’ve written about how there is always somebody who has worse problems than me), certainly not as bad as it could have been. But, still, a pretty bad experience.

I believe I mentioned briefly yesterday that some have believe I am handling it well. Oh, I am trying to. I really, really am. But at intervals, I suppose it’s bound to happen: not so much. I was having, as they say, a moment earlier today. Rather than write about it and look like I was making a colossal bid for sympathy, I decided to write about the cheesy movie I had viewed. Surely that was a good plan (and I’ll call you Shirley if I want to).

My first move, when I could move at all after coming to a complete standstill, was to go to the computer and search previous blog posts. Hmmmm… nothing that takes place in Paris, no place where I possibly could have mentioned the Seine.

After a couple of more distractions (when I have a moment, I really have a moment), I found the notebook I have been writing blog posts in for the past couple of weeks. On going through the whole thing (it’s not a big notebook), I found very few movie posts, none I did not remember, and no mention of the Seine. I sat and pondered.

At last I picked up the TV Journal. Oh. There it was. In a note I had made about the very movie I was attempting to write a post about. I tell you what, I felt so stupid about that, I almost had another moment.

But not quite, because I thought I could make a decent blog post about that silly writing crisis and then I would have two posts for the price of one. I ought to anyways, because I’ve taken a long enough time about this.

By the way, my moment is over. I’m back to handling things, if not exactly well (I’m not that competent), at least cheerfully and with a sense of humor. No need to make a colossal bid for sympathy. Thank you for bearing with me.

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More Musings on the Muse

Posted on June 25, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

It’s not exactly Writer’s Blank, because I can think of words I might write down. Could this be Writer’s Block?

I’ve discussed the inability to write before. Some writers (and MANY non-writers) scorn such an idea. If we’re not writing, they say, we must be self-dramatizing slackers. The rest of us explain, “Shut up.”

Welcome to Wrist to Forehead Monday.

I know that just last week I wrote a post about not being able to write (the irony was not lost on me) (In fact, I wrote a half page on my novel today before turning my attention to the blog) (so you see). Can I think of something new and different to say on the subject, in order to justify another nothing post?

I’m thinking I probably can. I have an almost endless fascination with reading about writing. It is a well-known saw in the writing lexicon: Write what you like to read.

I’m also thinking, Why am I justifying anything? I write what I write. People can read it or not.

But let’s back it up even further. Why do I disparage these as “nothing” posts? I sometimes get a lot of “Likes” from fellow bloggers on my posts about the tribulations of the writing life. I like to think it is because my fellow bloggers also struggle with our avocation.

That is as far as I wrote while at work today (I really feel I need to keep saying on a break, OF COURSE) (not that I think my boss reads blogs). While working and pondering my post, I remembered: It’s Middle-aged Musings Monday! I don’t have to apologize for anything! So I slap a title on my verbal meanderings and hit Publish.

I’ll try to get back to Mohawk Valley adventures tomorrow.

One further note: the expression we explain, shut up, is a reference to S.J. Perelman, a writer of some note from the previous century.

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What Makes a “Real” Post Anyways?

Posted on June 20, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Having done two “real” blog posts in a row and having at least two more pretty good topics to work with, I just sat here staring at a blank piece of paper and thinking in a vague sort of way about pulling out a book to read. What’s that all about?

I’ve been busily working on my novel and writing blog posts for a number of days now (14, if I’m counting correctly) (um, that is to say, 14 on the novel. I would need to go back and look at the posts to see how many stupid ones were included) (but you see my point).

Where was I? Ah yes, when the writing is going well, you think it is never going to end. “Ah, I’ve got it now,” you say. “Obviously this is the secret: JUST KEEP WRITING. Why didn’t I think of that before?”

And then, of course, it ends.

That was when my break ended. I spent the time till the next break (my job gives me lots of opportunity to think) reflecting on how I can always seem to write about not writing. I spent the next two breaks working on my novel, thus rendering another post on Not Being Able to Write a little hypocritical, to say the least.

I can hear one of you now saying, “So just write your blog post now, what’s the problem?” Well, that’s what I’m doing! I declare today Wuss Out Wednesday. I don’t have too many of those, and I may not have a Lame Post Friday this week, because I have an awesome Mohawk Valley adventure planned for tomorrow (preview of coming attractions).

My only sticky wicket now to how to avoid making tomorrow another Non-Sequitur Thursday. After all, can’t do too many of these silly posts.

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Words Happen

Posted on June 6, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I just looked back and saw that I did not do a Monday Middle-aged Musings, and that is good news for me. Now I can do a Midweek Musings and be off the hook.

The funny part is, I have two blog posts written that I could type in. The problem is, one of them will probably run over 1,000 words and I really ought to look a couple of things up before I start typing (does that intrigue you? I’m rather proud of it myself). The other is heavy on the half-baked philosophy and therefore more suitable for Lame Post Friday.

So, what am I left with, a post about what I’m not going to write a post about? Sounds pretty dull. The thing is, I haven’t been musing much this week, middle-agedly or otherwise. But I do have a question that just occurs to me: where do we draw the line between middle-aged musings and half-baked philosophy? Aren’t they awfully similar? And isn’t either one just an excuse for me to type whatever the hell I feel like for a few hundred words and call it a post?

You wouldn’t know it from this post, but I have actually been writing a lot this week. Yesterday I sat down and wrote the aforementioned 1,000+ word post, then worked on a new novel I had started on Monday. (Oh dear, didn’t mean to mention the novel. I hope I haven’t jinxed it.) This morning I wrote my Friday Lame Post, then worked some more on… that thing I wished I hadn’t mentioned. Can I just say, I LOVE writing! You do it, then suddenly you find yourself doing more of it! You write one thing, then you write something else! Words happen! (Ooh, good title.)

The irony is not lost on me: I am about to publish a singularly foolish post in which I brag about all this other great stuff I’ve written that I am, for reasons best known to myself (if that), I am not publishing yet. Let’s all muse on that for a while, shall we?

OK, we’re done.

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I Wilnot Apologize Again

Posted on May 24, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

This morning, I thought I would not write a Non-Sequitur Thursday post, I would write a real post. I wrote the following:

Steven and I left the Herkimer County Humane Society and headed for Ilion Farmer’s Market.

I can’t write. I’m too ill. That was a contradiction. How much time in this blog do I spend WRITING that I cannot write? And why is cannot one word but you don’t combine “not” with other words? Didnot would be a little awkward, because of the dn, but how about willnot? You could even drop one l, wilnot, a marvelous savings over time, especially when one considers the number of things one wilnot do (or at least says one wilnot then turns around and does it anyways; don’t you just hate that?)(donot you just hate that?).

I wrote a few more paragraphs about how crappy I felt, but really, the above is the only one worth reading. I admit to being amused by it myself.

So, yeah, still sick. I went to the doctor today at a thing called Convenient Care at Bassett Health in Herkimer. I suppose it would be appropriate to do a blog post on them, but the stuff they prescribed for my nausea hasn’t kicked in yet (hasnot?). Perhaps I could go on for a couple of more paragraphs about how hard it is to write when your nauseous, but I guess I’ve already touched on the irony of writing about not writing (for about the 8,347th time).

As a side note: I just completed two years of writing this blog. How cool is that?

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The Bio Blues

Posted on April 25, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I was going to call today’s post “The Blurb Blues,” but I found the bl-bl awkward when I said it in my head. I figured anyone who moves their lips when they read would be really annoyed.

The blog is transitioning (temporarily, of course) into All Dirty Work At The Crossroads All The Time (or All Dirty Work All The Time for short) (I like that better). Today I have another writing assignment before I go on to my blogging chores. I have to write that little paragraph for the program which they print about all the actors. My bio. My blurb.

Naturally I’m stumped. Really, for a blogger, you wouldn’t think I would find it so hard to talk about myself. Isn’t that what I do every day in this silly blog? And there we have the reason: it is a silly blog. I can share my foibles and failures and be all self-deprecating about it. There’s something so toot-your-own-hornish (I almost said “horny” — insert adolescent snicker) about the program blurb.

Oh dear, now every theatre person reading this blog is saying, “Oh! So you think I’m tooting my own horn! I see!” I was about to get all apologetic about it, but, hey, is there not an element of “If I do say so myself”? Most manage to not sound like screaming egomaniacs. Largely because they’re not (the ones who are rarely recognize themselves as such) (of course I don’t personally know any raging egomaniacs, but I’ve heard).

I’ve read a few of the bios written so far for Dirty Work,and Imust say, I’m quite envious. They’re cute little self portraits — a snapshot of the person behind the character (not that anybody takes snapshots any more). As a character in a movie once said, “Why can’t I write shit like that?”

I even tried to get my husband Steven to write one for me. I kept saying things like, “Oh, if only somebody would write it for me. Somebody who used to work professionally as a copywriter. Perhaps in radio.” I even went so far as to throw in a few lines about somebody handsome, sexy, intelligent and kind. To no avail. Steven would only point out that I, not he, wrote the bulk of the press release that formed a major part of one of last week’s posts.

So this morning, after writing a couple of paragraphs of this post, I turned a page in my notebook and wrote down the paragraph I had been composing in my head ever since I realized I would need a program blurb:

“Cynthia has been a member of Ilion Little Theatre since 2009. She was part of the stage crew for Old Ladies Guide to Survival and appeared on stage in And Then There Were None as well as Harvey. Cynthia invites everyone to admire her hair while she has it, because on June 2 it will be shaved off for a St. Baldrick’s Day event to raise money to fight children’s cancer.”

I hope it will do. Do you suppose I’m too horn-tooty mentioning St. Baldrick’s Day?

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I Didn’t Edit Out the Lame

Posted on April 20, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

An interesting phenomenon has been happening with some of my blog posts lately: I edit.

Of course I’ve always edited to a point. Whether I write it first then type it in or compose (NOT compost, Ron) at the keyboard, I read it over and change a word here and there. Lately, however, I’ve been deleting, moving and completely re-writing entire paragraphs. Even adding paragraphs. It’s kind of fun.

I’m sure there are some “real” writers out there rolling their eyes. “Of COURSE you have to edit!” they are saying, with or without a sniff. “Editing is an important part of writing — maybe the MOST important part. Did you think your stuff could stand as written?”

Two schools of thought there. Others believe you should NEVER edit. You must be spontaneous and fresh, sticking to your “first thoughts.” “First thoughts” is an expression I got from Natalie Goldberg in Writing Down the Bones. For Goldberg, as for many creative souls, the Editor is that bad voice that lives in your head and says things like, “Don’t write that! That’s stupid! Why are you even writing at all?”

Regular readers (Hi, Sherry!) know I have conversations with a similar entity in my own head on a regular basis. I would submit that it isn’t only writers that hear such a voice. I think a lot of people who suffer from low self-esteem hear an unkind voice telling them they are ugly or stupid or worthless.

I don’t want to stray into psychiatry over here. Half-baked philosophy is my bailiwick. And I didn’t start out to write out about self-esteem; I meant to do a post on writing.

Well, how about some half-baked philosophy on the relationship between writing and self-esteem?

Or not.

Full disclosure: I wrote this last week (yes, while I was stressing over the silly weekend) with no real notion of when I would use it. Today, I thought it would fit right in with Lame Post Friday. And it will have to do, because I have nothing else, least of all time to come up with an alternative.

Further full disclosure: I did very little editing on this when I typed it in. The irony is not lost on me.

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Musings on Lack of a Muse

Posted on April 18, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

It’s no use: I have to hide behind a Mid-Week Middle-Aged Musings. Unfortunately I have very little to muse about.

I had thought I could spend the week happily writing about my Finger Lakes wine tasting adventures. It turns out they are not as easy to write about as the tastings at Vintage Spirits and Ilion Wine & Spirits. I suppose I could spend the post musing on why this is so, yet I feel strangely disinclined to do so.

I like to say I have Writer’s Blank rather than Writer’s Block, although sometimes I have Write It Then Cross It Out Syndrome. Today, however, it really feel like Block. There are words in my head, and my pen simply refuses to write them.

I know there are people out there who have no patience with this sort of crisis. I don’t say writers, because a lot of these people have never written a word in their lives, yet they feel certain that they know exactly what my problem is. As for the people that have written a word in their lives and claim never to have a problem of this nature, well, every writer is different (oh, how tactful of me to refrain from saying they are full of beans) (oops).

I think writing is an obstacle course (I did not say “like an obstacle course” because I prefer metaphor to simile). Sometimes you have to bull your way through the obstacle by main force. Sometimes you can climb or even jump over it. Sometimes you must carefully take it apart one piece at a time. And sometimes the best thing to do is to go around it and find a different way.

How’s that for something new to say about Why I Can’t Write a Post Today?

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