Tag Archives: cheesy horror movies

Not Independent from Bad Movies

Posted on July 5, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

OK, it’s really one bad movie, one good movie and one… eh (making that so-so motion with one hand).  It is Independence Day, or the 4th of July.  Some people don’t like it when you say the 4th of July, but I wasn’t in love with that movie Independence Day, so I stopped using that phrase for a while (and now I hear there’s a sequel that’s even worse!).  (Full disclosure:  I was moderately entertained by Independence Day and do not rule out seeing it again) (I do not intend to watch the sequel, although it cannot be denied that shit happens).

Where was I? Ah yes, celebrating our country’s birthday.  Not really.  I do patriotic things when the opportunity arises, I try to honor my country always; today I’m just enjoying a day off with my beloved husband Steven and our recently acquired pooch, Spunky.  We had a lazy start to the day, although I eventually went running, did laundry and took the dog for a walk.  My main object of the day was to watch some movies.  That is what I will concern myself with in this blog post.

We started with The Vampire Bat, a DVD we purchased at Valley Exchange in Herkimer, NY.  It was not very far into the movie that I realized we had seen it before.  It is in fact included on our collection of 50 Horror Classics. I wrote a blog post about it.  The movie was 73 minutes according to my calculations, not 63 as claimed on the box.  Steven said it seemed longer.

Steven suggested Jaws next, as something that moves a little quicker.  We have watched this movie many times; it is one of our favorites, especially on the 4th of July (we also saw it once on Severed Head Sunday, which I also wrote a blog post about).  Next we put in a video cassette I purchased at a rummage sale, Monster from Green Hell. I can’t tell you much about that, because, quite frankly, I paid even less attention to it than I pay to most of the silly movies we watch. I’ll have to watch it again to write about it.

We stopped watching movies after the Monster and are looking at crime shows on cable television.  A Dateline on ID just started that we have already seen more than once.  I must stop blogging and find another show to watch. I hope you are all having a grand weekend.  I go back to work tomorrow.  Won’t that be fun?

 

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Rest Your Brain with Brain Eaters

Posted on May 20, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

My favorite part about Brain Eaters (1958) was that the characters spend a lot of time driving places.  I like to see the old cars.

Spoiler Alert!  I’m going to just tell most of the plot of this movie, at least, as much as I can remember (regular readers know how little attention I pay to these things).

The movie was one of the VHS tapes I purchased recently at a rummage sale (perhaps you read my blog post about it), so its cheesy bonafides are impeccable. Steven and I selected it of the several I had bought because it had the shortest running time, just over an hour.  We wanted to watch several movies that day.

After viewing the movie, I made a note in the TV Journal that no brains were actually eaten or in fact used in the making of Brain Eaters.  I’m not sure what I expected.  Maybe a few munching sounds at least.  Nobody gets to die in agony, which I’m sure was a great disappointment to the actors involved.  It can be a great deal of fun to die in agony, I would imagine even more so on screen than on stage.  On stage you have to either get carried off or lie there and try not to let anyone see you breathe.

Be that as it may, Brain Eaters opens with a scary sort of prologue in which one guy attacks another and something gets spilled. A voice-over says something about a nightmare.  I dislike voice-over narration, although I have always narrated in my head about my own life. When I was younger, my voice was a good deal more euphonious than it really was and had that slight echo like in the movies, and I narrated in the third person. Now I use first-person and have the eventual intent of writing it down in this blog.  But enough about me.  Getting back to the movie, this scene is never explained that I could tell.  Of course there is that not paying attention thing.  Perhaps subsequent events made all clear to the more discerning viewer.  If you are one of those and you watch this movie, please clue me in.

The movie proper begins with a a classic car driving along a road surrounded by a wooded area. The guy in the car is the narrator.  He and his fiance are returning from a visit to her parents, where they set the wedding date.  They are about to let his father know.  This bit of backstory never recurs, but I mention it because it is the only real backstory any of the characters get.  Perhaps I should not have a beef with that.  After all, we tuned in to see brains get eaten, not believable characters play out human stories.  Only your really classy horror/scifi movies give you both. It’s not really fair to ding the cheesy ones for not.

I was making a note in the TV Journal, so I missed why they stopped, but when I looked up the Narrator and his Fiance were looking at some dead animals in the woods. Come on, Hollywood!  Be kind to animals! (I wrote a blog post with that title.)

Next, they find a cone-shaped space ship and the plot thickens. At least, it gets so dense I didn’t quite know what was going on (Hey! Do you suppose some of my brains got eaten somewhere along the way?  Oh, you’ve probably been supposing that for years).

A government guy is sent to check things out.  All kinds of cops are hanging around the cone, which is now surrounded by scaffolding.  A dashing scientist type is there along with his beautiful assistant.  They don’t know what’s in the cone, but they can’t damage it in any way.  Typical!  They don’t know what it is, but the first thing they try to do is break it!  Dashing Scientist even fires a gun into the opening, so they can hear it ricocheting off the sides as it apparently travels all around inside the thing.

It gets pretty dull and boring for a while when Dashing Scientist crawls into the hole and starts wriggling along an endless tunnel while everybody waits outside for him.  Things get a little more lively when they go to talk to the mayor, who just happens to be Narrator’s father.

The group converging on the Mayor includes cops, Government Guy, a few scientists (including Dashing and Beautiful Assistant), Narrator and Fiance.  Before they enter, Mayor is struggling against himself with a gun.  He picks up the gun, aims it at his head, pulls it away from his head, puts it in a drawer. It seems he is struggling with some unseen force for control of his arm.

“Is he trying to kill himself or to not kill himself?” I asked.  It was the most interesting bit of acting in the movie.

You’ve probably guessed that Mayor is having his brain eaten. These creepy bugs attach themselves to the backs of people’s necks and feed on the brain.  While making a hearty meal, the bugs can also control the person’s actions, some with greater success than others, apparently.  Really, the movie is not consistent on this point at all.

They figure out the brain-sucking thing pretty easily with a lightning fast autopsy on Mayor (oh yeah, he gets shot in a dramatic scene I didn’t tell you about) (this write-up is getting pretty long after all).  Seriously, one minute the guy’s is getting shot, two minutes later, the doctor is telling us all about it.  That is some damn good forensic science!

Of course, just because they know the problem doesn’t mean they can deal with it right away, especially since it is more widespread than they realize.  They sensibly call for help first thing (they don’t always do that in these pictures), but it does them no good when the brain eatee in the telegraph office assures them the message will be sent then sends an entirely different one.  The phone is no better when the bug-laden operator keeps telling them, “I’m sorry, that line is busy.”

And then a bunch of other stuff happens.  I know I said I was going to tell you the whole plot, but this post is over 1,000 words already.  Is anybody even still reading?  I kept watching till the end, paying my usual sporadic attention.  It isn’t a bad way to spend an hour on a lazy Sunday, if you like cheesy old sci fi flicks.  Which I do.

 

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A Mod Vampire?

Posted on December 17, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Here, at long last, is the post I began some time ago about the cheesy horror movie I saw.  Full disclosure:  some people do not consider Hammer Studios films to be cheesy, but I have made bold to so categorize it for the purposes of this blog post.

Spoiler Alert!  I am probably going to give away most of the salient plot points of Dracula A.D. 1972, so if you have not seen it and like to be surprised at developments, read no further.  Also, if you have seen the movie and liked it, you also might like to read no further, because I not only did not like it, I did not pay a great deal of attention to it, so my write-up is likely to annoy you.

I DVR’d Dracula A.D. 1972 from TCM some time ago and finally got around to watching it on my recent birthday.  I had hopes of getting a blog post out of it, but, well, we’ll see.

I could tell by the title that the movie takes place in what were then modern times (I guess during the ’70s it would have been Mod Times, but that’s neither here nor there), not the pseudo past we often see in horror movies, which usually means the ladies wear long dresses and everybody gets around in horse and carriage.  I like the pseudo past better for a cheesy horror movie.  Perhaps I’ll try to analyze why one of these Lame Post Fridays.

One might ask, “Well, why did you DVR it if you thought you weren’t going to like it?”  That is the flip side of the yahoos that say, “How do you know you won’t like it when you haven’t seen it?” as if I have infinite time to watch every movie ever made! I gave this movie a chance because (1) Hammer Studios, (2) Peter Cushing AND Christopher Lee, (3) they just don’t show that many horror movies I think I am going to like.

I did not completely dislike this one.  I may even watch it again to clear up my confusion on the parts I missed.  In the meantime, I’ll write about what I remember.

The movie opens, as many of these movies do, with a kind of a prologue, showing something that happened long before the events of the movie proper take place.  We see Peter Cushing (Van Helsing) finish off Christopher Lee (Dracula), who almost immediately crumbles into dust or, I guess, ashes. Then we see a henchman-looking guy making off with a vial full of ashes.

I talked about this when I wrote about Dracula Prince of Darkness.  There is no way that guy got all the ashes!  When he reconstitutes that vampire, it is going to be missing something.  In Prince of Darkness it was the power of speech (oh yeah, there was a story that Lee refused to say any of the lines because the dialogue was so badly written.  I like my explanation better).  And so I repeat myself.

Back in “modern” times, the horror action grinds to a complete halt with a wild party scene that goes on and on.  Its purpose, I suppose, it to introduce the group of young people who will fall afoul of Dracula.  A worthy purpose, a very dull scene.  I learned that the kids are wild and their leader is a thoroughgoing jerkface.  If there were any subtleties or further character traits, I missed them.

After fleeing the police (long story), the kids repair to the pub in search of further thrills.  Jerkface proposes a Black Mass.  The kids are down with this, but Satan will have to bring “his own booze, his own bird, and his own pot” (I may have that quote wrong.  Oh well).

As the Main Girl rides home with her Boyfriend, we learn that her grandfather is Van Helsing, presumably offspring or descendant of the guy in the first scene (following the movie tradition that descendants look EXACTLY like their forbears) (really I don’t mind this tradition; it is kind of like movie shorthand) (and makes casting easier).  Boyfriend wants to consult the grandfather about Black Masses and calling up Satan and stuff, but Main Girl demurs.

We meet Peter Cushing briefly in the next scene, but it mainly shows that he has a good relationship with his granddaughter and she is not as wild as the crowd she runs with.  There is no hint of any other family members, another handy arrangement common in fictional settings (oh, I’m sure it happens in real life as well.  Just because I’ve never seen it).

Jerkface goes home and grabs the vial of ashes we saw in the prologue. I never saw any explanation of how he came by the ashes.  A descendant of Henchman?  The same guy, immortal but not as powerful as Dracula?  These are the things I hope to pay more attention to if I ever watch this flick again.

So Dracula gets re-constituted at the Black Mass about 45 minutes into the movie. I made a note of it in the TV Journal but neglected to note when the prologue ended, so I don’t know how long we had to wait for him to return.  I was happy to see him, because I was tired of this gang of miscreants and was ready to see them get picked off as vampire food.

Now here is a question I must look up sometime in Vampires for Dummies:  When does a vampire victim become another vampire and when are they merely a bloodless corpse?  Is it up to the vampire that bites them?  I just mention it in passing.  I have no real problem with bloodless corpses in a movie of this kind.  For one reason, I don’t like to keep track of too many characters.

Speaking of keeping track of characters, have any of you been wondering whatever happened to Peter Cushing?  I was, but no, he doesn’t come back yet.  First we have the rather lengthy Black Mass where Jerkface adds blood and stirs well.  He’s all excited to see Christopher Lee and wants congratulations on a job well done.

“It was my will,” Christopher Lee intones.

I was like, “YOUR will?  How could you will any anything?  Hello, you were ashes!  Get over yourself!”

Well, I heard Christopher Lee had an ego and I’m sure Count Dracula did, too.  I guess that immortal, blood-sucking thing could go to anybody’s head.  And the fact that you CAN be re-constituted from ashes, whether or not you willed it from that state (or were completely there when re-constituted), is a pretty unusual talent.  So I guess I should cut a newly un-dead vampire a break.

Anyways, I had really lost track of the plot by this time, but the police get involved when the first bloodless corpse is discovered.  then Peter Cushing gets involved, because, you know, vampires and his granddaughter being friends with the corpse (before she was a corpse).  The police do not tiresomely dismiss Van Helseing (Cushing) as a crackpot, that hoary cliche, but they don’t jump on board with crucifixes and wooden stakes, either.

It’s really not a bad movie.  I might try to see it again if I get a chance.  I don’t promise to pay more attention, but if I do perhaps I could write a better blog post about it.  In the meantime, I hope at least some of you are pleased that I did not publish yet another post about Why I Can’t Write a Post.

 

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About That Post…

Posted on December 16, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Well, this is SWELL!  There I was, typing in the blog post I had started about a cheesy horror movie and I came to a point I had to look up in the TV Journal (you remember my TV Journal, don’t you?).  It was a mere point about how long into the movie we had to wait for Dracula (oh, should I have included a spoiler alert?).  I knew I had noted it as we watched.

And there in the TV Journal was a whole LOT of commentary I wrote while I watched.  I remember now thinking I could use some of that stuff in a blog post if I wrote one.  I had, of course, forgotten about it when I sat at work writing what I remembered.  NOW what shall I do?  What if the stuff I wrote in the TV Journal was better than the stuff I wrote at work?  Obviously I need to work some more on this post.

If only, if only I had finished the other post I started yesterday.  But I’m still bogged down.  Instead I started another post, which also got bogged down.  Are you sensing a pattern here?  I am SO MUCH BETTER at starting things than at finishing them!  I know, the only thing to do is start finishing things.

However, today is Tired Tuesday, and it really, truly is.  I know, I’m tired every day. It is very, dare I say, tiresome, and it doesn’t help that I am a big, fat baby about these things (see, at least I admit that much).

So I guess this is another post about Not Writing.  At least, I WAS writing, so perhaps a post about not finishing.  How embarrassing.  But apparently not too embarrassing to hit Publish. Hope to see you all on Wuss-out Wednesday.

 

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Are Cuff Links the Same Thing as Cuff Buttons?

Posted on December 15, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Well, this is what happened to me today.  I opened my notebook (my paper, spiral-bound notebook; I was on a break at work) and found a blog post I wrote last month about a cheesy horror movie I had seen.  Of course I read it (I like to read my own writing, although I feel rather conceited that I do).  It was OK. I could use this.

Today’s blog post taken care of (so I thought), I turned a few pages (I had written other things in that notebook besides the movie write-up) and began a post about some fun in Little Falls Steven and I had on Saturday.  That was going pretty good, too, till I got a little bogged down.  No matter,  I told myself, this is Tuesday’s post well started and I can just use the movie post for today.

When I got home I briefly considered typing an off-the-cuff Monday Mental Meanderings just because I was so tired (it is Monday, after all).  Then I told myself to not be such a bum and start typing.  I got my notebook, found the movie post, and started typing.

Boy, do I write a lot about those cheesy horror movies!  I got tired of typing real quick but kept going.  Till I got even more tired.  Then I looked at how much more I had to type.  No way!  Why knew I was that prolific?

What now?  Type in what I have on the Little Falls post and finish that?   I’m not up for it.  I should have gone with the off the cuff post to begin with, because, to be honest, by this time I have nothing on my cuffs.  I probably never did.  Where did that expression come from, anyways, “off the cuff”?  Is that from when cuffs were separate pieces that got attached to shirts with cuff-links or cuff-buttons and people wrote notes to themselves on them?  Did people write notes to themselves on their cuffs?  It sounds like a handy spot.

Oh, will you look at that?  I just had an authentic Mental Meandering and it’s still Monday.  I declare this post done.

 

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Vampire? What Vampire?

Posted on October 30, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I was not sure if I could write effectively about Atomic Age Vampire (1961),but when I realized the title made it a perfect candidate for Non-Sequitur Thursday, I thought I would give it a try.

Spoiler Alert!  I’ve probably already spoiled it for some people by giving away the lack of truth in advertising.  Then again, you might like to be forewarned about that.  At least I’m not going to give away the ending, because I don’t exactly remember it.

The movie is one of our “50 Horror Classics,” the DVD set I purchased for a very moderate amount, considering how much entertainment we’ve derived from it.  I had a craving for some Halloween cheese, and this movie fit the bill nicely.

The movie opens cheesily enough in a strip club.  To add to the ambiance, it is rather obviously dubbed.  A sailor (I think) is about to go on deployment (I guess) and is breaking up with his beautiful blond girlfriend because she would not quit her sleazy job.  I must confess to some feminist indignation on Blondie’s behalf.  Sailor Boy must have know she had a career when he started dating her.

And isn’t that typical of either gender?  They fall in love with somebody and the first thing they want to do is change them. It gives me that little frisson on virtue, because I love my husband just the way he is.  But I digress.

I may digress further in a bit, because this is also another one of those movies that centers around a mad scientist using nefarious means to restore and maintain a woman’s beauty.  What does this say about our superficial society?  In mad scientist’s defense, other than restoring her beauty (which, to be fair, she wants too), he does not desire to change Blondie but loves her (albeit in an obsessive, mad scientist kind of way) just the way she is.

Ah, I see I’ve left out the part where she loses her beauty.  In her grief over Sailor Boy’s defection, Blondie crashes her car.  That she survives at all is quite the miracle, but the only thing to sustain much damage seems to be her face.  Really, shouldn’t she at least have been in a wheelchair?  Maybe one arm in a sling?  But no, just her face all bandaged up like the Invisible Man.  Go figure.

Mad Scientist naturally has a female assistant who is in love with him and will do his bidding.  And, just as naturally, he is just not that into her (I love that expression).  Personally, I thought she was pretty good-looking, but I suppose she lacked Blondie’s glamorous appeal.  I mean, once Blondie gets her face back.  Maybe it was all about the bodies, which, I confess, I did not particularly notice.

Anyways, Lovelorn Assistant convinces Blondie that Mad Scientist can help her.  Do I need to tell you that restoring Blondie’s beauty requires the murders of numerous other young, nubile females?  Lovelorn Assistant does most of the killing.  Oh, these people who will do anything for love!

Now that I think about it, they could have done a lot more with the two adjoining love triangles:  Mad Scientist/Assistant/Blondie and Blondie/Sailor Boy/Scientist.  But then I suppose that would have left less time for nefarious scientific doings.

I bet some of you have noticed that I have not yet mentioned any vampire, let alone an atomic age one.  That’s because I didn’t see any.  I suppose one could make the argument that the killing of young ladies to feed Blondie’s beauty is vampiric activity.  And there may have been some atomic stuff in the laboratory that I failed to notice.  The killing of young ladies is, of course, a time-honored mad scientist technique, not an atomic age innovation.  I am inclined to believe that they just slapped on a title that they thought would get people to watch the damned movie.  After all, it worked on me.

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The Amazing Transparent Post

Posted on October 20, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I have not written about or even watched a cheesy movie in a long time.  I was delighted, therefore, when Steven agreed to watch a selection from The Best of the Worst DVD I had given him for his birthday last March.  We picked The Amazing Transparent Man (1960), one we had not seen before.  I’m not sure I would classify it as either superlative, but I do not despair of coming up with a few paragraphs about it.

Spoiler Alert! As usual, I intend to give a plot summary as well as commentary, and I’ll probably give a lot away.  Not that suspense is one of this movie’s strong points to begin with.

The movie opens with a jail break, and I wondered if they were making use of stock footage, because I thought at first we had seen it before.  It is the usual jail-break images:  the spotlights moving across the walls and fences, the guys in the tower looking around with binoculars, the dogs pulling at their leashes barking wildly.

Soon the jail breaker is dressed in a tux riding in a convertible with a classily dressed lady.  The car was my favorite part of the movie. I adore classic cars.

It seems the lady has helped they guy escape for reasons unknown to him.  His name is Faust.  As I told Steven, that is just the sort of heavy-handed reference I would have been proud of in junior high or perhaps high school. Oh well, maybe I didn’t know who Faust was at that time.  For those of you who don’t know now, Faust sold his soul to the devil and had a really good time with the proceeds till he was about to die, and then he said, “Oh, crap, now I have to go to hell.”  Or words to that effect.

The reason for the break soon becomes clear when we find that Faust is a master safe cracker.  When Crenna, the head bad guy (I remember “Crenna,” because I kept thinking of Richard Crenna) (and I could not figure out what kind of a reference this was supposed to be) tells him this, Faust laughs in his face.

“I can’t show my face in a bank,” he exclaims.  Ah, the evil Crenna has provided for this, as anyone who noticed the title of the picture will have guessed.

The maker of the invisibility machine we have been waiting for since the credits is a sweet old man with an indeterminate European accent.  He has a tragic backstory which actually adds some depth to the movie.  Unfortunately, the depth is undermined by the mysterious door his daughter is being held hostage behind. Oh dear, I’m not explaining this part very well.  My point is, mysterious door, cheesy movie: I was expecting a monster or torture chamber and I was doomed to disappointment.

Just to add to my ongoing disapproval of Hollywood’s treatment of animals, there is a guinea pig who gets made invisible then visible and does not seem to be happy about it.  Later on the poor things dies of radiation sickness.  I confess to being a little disappointed that it did not turn into a monster and attack people.  I mean, as long as it was going to come to a bad end anyways, why not make it dramatic?  Oh well, as I often observe, one can’t have everything.

There is a lot more to the movie, but I guess there is no point in spoiling everything (also, I am pressed for time).  I think they tried to make a profound point at the end, but you know I don’t pay a great deal of attention to the non-cheesy parts.

In general I am not a fan of invisibility as part of the monster genre. For cinematic purposes, especially cheesy ones, I prefer a monster I can see. I suppose I could end this post making a profound point about how what you can’t see can be more frightening that what you can.   I think I will just let you ponder that on your own, if you feel so inclined.  Let know what you come up with, and also, please do tell if you figure out a literary reference in calling the head bad guy Crenna.

 

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If You Like Voodoo Curses

Posted on December 13, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

When I started to watch The Devil’s Own (1966), another movie I DVR’d in October, I was delighted to find that it was from Hammer Studios. I love Hammer movies!

Unfortunately, this one did not entertain me as much as, for example. Frankenstein Created Woman. I think I like monsters better than voodoo curses and devil worshipers. But that’s just me.

Spoiler Alert! This is another write-up where I’m pretty much going to recount the plot. What can I say? These are fun for me to write.

The movie starts out scarily enough with Joan Fontaine frantically packing to leave an African village before… something happens. The natives helping her sensibly flee in terror. She turns around and sees a scary voodoo doll. OK, I cracked up a little at the doll.

Then the door bursts open and a giant mask comes through. You can’t even tell if there’s really a person behind it, so I can see where that would be a little disconcerting. Fontaine screams and collapses.

I thought at first she was about to get killed and that I had been mistaken in thinking it was Joan Fontaine. However, the next scene finds her, some time later, in England interviewing to be a headmistress at a school. With a nervous smile, she glosses over her “health problems,” by which we surmise she had some sort of nervous breakdown in Africa. Or something. Of course she gets the job; we knew that from the description on digital cable.

And then the movie slows right down. Oh, stuff happens. But it’s your basic human interaction kind of plot. This weird girl is being romanced by a boy, to the distress of her grandmother. Other villagers seem concerned as well, so there’s a bit of creepy foreshadowing.

About the time the boy falls victim to a voodoo curse (which we, the audience immediately recognize) (some characters are slower on the uptake, despite the headless Ken doll found on a tree branch), I made the note that I prefer monsters. After that, things get a little more exciting. Spoiler alert notwithstanding, I don’t want to give everything away.

It really was not a bad movie. When things got a little slow for my tastes, I amused myself by studying Joan Fontaine’s face, looking for a family resemblance with Olivia de Havilland. I think it’s there, especially in certain expressions, but I’ll have to watch Hush… Hush… Sweet Charlotte again to be sure.

The climactic scenes are scary or comical, depending on how you feel about devil worshipers writhing in a dance of… something or other. It gets suspenseful, although anybody paying any attention (even my desultory kind), knows how Fontaine can ultimately triumph. Oh dear, did I just give something else away? Sorry.

I enjoyed the movie. And I got a bit of crocheting done, which is important to me this time of year. But for my next Hammer film, I’m hoping for a monster.

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Vampires and a Big Reveal

Posted on December 11, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

BIG Spoiler Alert! Seriously, if you’re going to watch Mark of the Vampire (1935), PLEASE do it before reading my silly write-up.

I will, in fact, try to write about this movie without giving away the big reveal, but I don’t know how successful I will be. In fact, already I’ve said too much.

In pre-movie commentary, Robert Osborne says Mark of the Vampire is a murder mystery as well as a vampire movie. I think that gives away a lot right there, and he didn’t even give a spoiler alert. Anyways, I think it is mostly a vampire movie.

The movie begins, as these things often do, with travelers being warned to go nowhere after dark. This is all we see of the travelers, so I guess those actors did not have very good agents. The vampire(s) (I don’t think people know at this point how many there are), it seems, is (are) after folks that have lived in the area for some time.

I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s very good scripting. Of course we don’t want characters reiterating to each other stuff they darn well already know. That would be like me saying to Steven, “As you know, we’re married and have a cute little dog.” However, I think there are better ways to set up background than sticking in extraneous characters we are never going to see again, just so they can get warned.

Perhaps I am too demanding. Anyways, that was an easy way to fill up a paragraph without giving away any major plot points (except to let you know you aren’t going to see those travelers again).

Bela Lugosi is the main vampire, and I wished he would have gotten more screen time. He is very mysterious and scary when he shows up, though, so that’s good. There is another, younger, girl vampire. She is spooky, but the actress does not have Lugosi’s gifts. She doesn’t act so much as walk around slowly with a completely blank look on her face. I suppose that is what the part called for and what the director told her to do, but I didn’t think she had the presence to carry if off properly. Oh well, she was young. I daresay she improved if she went on (didn’t make a note of the actress’ name).

Lionel Barrymore is a vampire expert. I just adore Lionel Barrymore. I don’t care if he puts the beautiful girl in danger to catch the vampires. That’s what a movie vampire expert is supposed to do.

Osborne warns us that nothing is as it seems, and that is pretty much the case. It is one of those movies where, after you find out the big secret, you kind of want to watch it again, to see if they were really playing fair. I’m actually pretty sure they did not play fair (I know some of you are saying, “Whatever that means”), because in post-movie commentary, Osborne tells us the actors did not know the big reveal till they actually filmed those scenes.

Since this is a personal blog, I feel free to interject here that I would be majorly ticked off at a director that played that kind of a game with me. If it is something my character knows, I certainly want to know it. If it is something my character doesn’t know, I would still prefer to know it and ACT. But that’s just me; I’m not all method like some people.

I enjoyed Mark of the Vampire. I may watch it again (perhaps when TCM shows it next October) and write another blog post from the point of view of somebody who already knows the big reveal. If I remember it.

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But What Would Poe Think?

Posted on November 19, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Spoiler Alert! I’m going to tell the plot and I may give away a couple of the best jokes.

I thought The Raven (1963) had it all: Vincent Price, Boris Karloff and Peter Lorre star. Roger Corman directed. And it’s based, or rather “inspired by” Edgar Allen Poe. This movie is going to rock! I thought, as I set my DVR.

Well, the movie does rock, but not quite in the way I expected it to. It starts out creepy enough: the camera pans through a gloomy castle while Price’s inimitable voice intones the poem “The Raven” by Poe. A big, scary black bird appears on cue. When Price dramatically asks will he ever see his dear Lenore again and we are waiting for — come on, you know this — Quote the Raven, “Nevermore!” instead we hear a rather testy Peter Lorre answer, “How should I know?”

And it goes on from there.

It is a very silly movie. Boris Karloff is responsible for Lorre’s feathered state. He is the evil head magician. Price’s father used to be the (not evil) head magician, but Price lives retired with his beautiful daughter and the body of his dead wife.

Lorre’s son is played by Jack Nicholson. I think it is delightful that Nicholson got his start in cheesy horror movies. So far I’ve seen him in Little Shop of Horrors, The Terror and now The Raven. Unfortunately, in The Raven, he is merely a handsome young man and doesn’t get much to do.

The highlight of the picture is the showdown between Karloff and Price. This is a scene they love to show clips of in Price or Corman retrospectives. Price counters Karloff’s zaps with panache and a sweet smile.

I laughed heartily at The Raven and recommend it to lovers of horror with a sense of humor.

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