Tag Archives: non sequitur

My Computer Thinks “Profferer” Is Not a Word

Posted on February 19, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

There are a few things in life you can pretty much count on.  Not invariably, of course, but most of the time.  If you open and close scissors near a person’s hair, they will probably get nervous.  If you say, “Sometimes you feel like a nut,” the other person will probably say, “Sometimes you don’t.”  If I have to be somewhere in the evening and want to get my blog post done first, I will probably not write anything ahead of time while on break at work.

Welcome to Non-Sequitur Thursday.

So yesterday I wrote a post about writing and today I write a post about not writing.  Is that so bad?  I suppose some people will think it is while others cut me a break.  File that under another one of those things in life you can count on.

I must soon head out to pick up my husband Steven (I specify the relationship for the benefit of new readers, if any) and head to the monthly dinner meeting of Ilion Little Theatre.  Of course I’m hungry NOW, so I just ate a few pretzels and drank a glass of milk.  I find it difficult to write on an empty stomach.  I know, I know, I’m not doing so hot after the snack either.

When I got home from work about an hour and a half ago, I walked down to Steven’s place of employment and got his vehicle, which I then drove home.  It was not too cold until a bitter wind began to blow.  Also, the sidewalks were rather treacherous with uneven ice,  some of it deceptively covered with snow.  Some profferers of advice to writers insist that adverbs are horrid words and must be avoided assiduously (see what I did there?).  I disagree.

As I approach 300 words, I think it is clear that I am not going to come up with anything particularly noteworthy to say.  However, I just thought of a headline.  Tune in tomorrow, when Mohawk Valley Girl will once again explain that she did not write anything while on break at work.

 

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It’s Just a Jump to the Left…

Posted on December 31, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Well, I am in a hell of a time warp.  I often am on short weeks (I have Friday off). Monday, of course, was Monday.  Then for some reason I thought Tuesday was still Monday.  I was rather pleased to realize it was Tuesday.  However, Tuesday evening I went ahead and wrote my blog post thinking it was Wednesday.  I even put it under the category Wuss-out Wednesday.  What was that all about?

Clearly, days have ceased to have a 24-hour definition for me.  I expected Monday to last indefinitely while Tuesday was over well ahead of time.  Can I offer an mitigating circumstances in my defense?  I fear not.

I suppose one might say, “Oh, it’s the holiday,” and drive on.  Then another might say, “If you’re in that much of a time warp, you’d better not drive.  What would 55 miles an hour look like when you don’t even know how long an hour is?”  Good point.  Still another might begin singing and dancing “The Time Warp” from Rocky Horror Picture Show.

That was what I wrote while on a break at work today.  When I returned to work, my time warp took the form of minutes and hours passing vvveeerrryyyy vvvveeeeerrrryyyy  sssssllllllooooooowwwwlllllllyyyyyy…..  However, since this is a common phenomenon at work two days before a three day weekend, I was not more than usually perturbed by it.

I got home to discover that at least one reader had indeed caught me getting my days mixed up.  How mortifying.  And how not surprising.  If only yesterday had been Non-Sequitur Thursday, everything would have been just fine. What can I do?  I think I’ll take option number one:  say, “Oh, it’s the holiday,” and drive on.  Happy It Really Is Wednesday This Time, everyone.

 

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Is That an Excuse, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

Posted on November 20, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I wrote one paragraph of a blog post while at work today, and it wasn’t very good.  I had a title I thought was pretty good, but I don’t want to use it till I have a half-way decent blog post to go with it.  What I’m saying is, welcome to Non-Sequitur Thursday.

One can’t really take a nap at 5:55 p.m., unless one is planning on staying up quite late, which I am not.  I personally don’t care to take naps after 3 p.m., although I love them at almost any time prior to that.  Sleep, ah, wonderful sleep.  According to Shakespeare it knits something or other (I probably could think of the actual expression if I tried, but I thought it would be funnier if I did not).

Am I babbling?  Ooh, that might make a good headline. Or not.

I am waiting for Steven to come home and we are supposed to head to the monthly dinner meeting of Ilion Little Theatre.  I made guacamole and hummus to bring.  I had planned to make the guacamole, without benefit of recipe.  I told a work friend about it as we were walking out.

“I’ll put some stuff in, then mush it, taste it, mush it, taste it,” I said.  “Then I’ll write a blog post about it.”

Of course it did not go as planned, although the adventure did include mushing and tasting.  I thought it would, in fact, make a pretty good blog post.  Only I am too tired to write it.  How embarrassing.

On the other hand, I am now over 250 words, and I call that respectable.  Now I just need a good, non-sequitury title, and I’m in business.   Tune in tomorrow for Lame Post Friday, when Mohawk Valley Girl says, “And the reason I did not write a blog post today is that…”

 

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Webster Is Not Much Help

Posted on November 13, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Do you suppose that MRI sucked out my brains and that’s why I’ve been so stupid all week?  Yes, yes, I know you’re asking what my excuse was before the MRI.  Must you make such obvious jokes?

Welcome to Non-Sequitur Thursday.

It really is a brain dead feeling.  It doesn’t seem like Writer’s Block, because that implies that there is something behind the block struggling to get out.  It isn’t exactly Writer’s Blank, either, because my brain does have a kind of, well, cluttered feeling to it.  But I can’t think, I can’t write, and it is very distressing.

Having said that, I remind myself that I just now wrote two paragraphs and one sentence worth of words and am embarking on another paragraph.  That does make me feel marginally less distressed.

The sentence that has been sticking in my head this morning is, “One must have a topic.”  It seems that sentence should include the phrase “in order to write,” but I’m not sure whether to put it at the beginning or the end of the sentence.  Any thoughts?

I realize that at times this blog seems dedicated to disproving that sentence.  How many posts about nothing at all have I written?  Anybody opening his mouth to say, “All of them,” can just close it (you know who you are).

This brings us, actually in a kind of a sequential fashion, to my philosophical question for the day.  Then again, half-baked philosophy is the purview of Lame Post Friday, so that makes it a kind of a non-sequitur once again.  Be that as it may, the question is:  Is it inherently better, worse or the same if I compose a post about nothing at the keyboard or if I write it in my notebook while at work (on a break OF COURSE)?  Discuss amongst yourselves.

Bonus question:  When was the last time you saw the word “purview” used correctly in a sentence?

Note to self:  Look up “purview” and see if I used it properly.

 

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And Another Thing About That Play…

Posted on September 11, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I thought of that headline yesterday.  Then I did not write a blog post yet today.

Tonight is dress rehearsal.  I don’t like the shoes I found for my character, but the rest of my costume is very nice.  We have two ladies working very hard to make everybody’s costume right. I think they are doing a marvelous job.

I’m sorry, I’m a little distracted right now.  I got mandated for overtime at work so am pressed for time.  I have about an hour to finish this, get in the shower, fix my hair, put in my contacts, get all my stuff together, and get to rehearsal.  I looked over my lines once today.  Perhaps twice would be better.  Oh dear.

On the brighter side, it is Non-Sequitur Thursday during All Roxy All The Time Week.  What could be better than a little disjointed babbling about the play?  Oh, I know, a lot of things could be better.  Only I did not write any of them earlier and I can’t seem to write them right now.

Our rehearsal last night went pretty good.  The dialogue in one of my scenes got messed up.  The other actor in the scene and I had not noticed, but the stage manager pointed it out to us.  After the scene we were both still a little puzzled about what went wrong.  Imagine my chagrin earlier today as I was looking over my lines and realized it was MY screw-up.  Everybody thinks I am so good at learning lines!  I’m mortified!

Then again, that is the excitement of live theatre.  Somebody might screw up.  It might be me.

Right now I must get in the shower. Otherwise, even if I do know all my lines, I still might stink up the stage.  Happy Thursday, everyone.

 

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In My Defense, Shut Up!

Posted on September 4, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

How’s that for a Non-Sequitur Thursday title?  I like it.

I did not write a blog post during breaks at work.  Before work I started a letter to a friend.  On breaks I worked on cryptogram puzzles. I love doing cryptogram puzzles.  I feel so clever when I solve them.  I may flatter myself, but I think the letter I was writing was witty and entertaining.  I probably used up all my wit and entertainment value for the day, so sorry about that.

Tonight is the only night this week when I do not have to be somewhere.  And the place I am most looking forward to being is… BED!  With my husband (and don’t anybody say TMI or I’ll get mad!).  One might think that on such a night I could come up with a better blog post, but I  don’t know why one who knew me might think that.

On an unrelated note (but how appropriate for the day) (see first sentence), I am SICK of seeing that commercial for the cookbook about stuff you can put in your crock pot.  That dumb lady saying, “This could take hours, but what if it only took FIVE MINUTES!”   In the first place, it’s five minutes plus eight to ten hours.  In the second place, why would I pay $10 for a book that tells me to put canned mushroom soup and dry onion soup mix in my crock pot?  I’ve been using those two ingredients FOR YEARS!!!

Anyways that puts me over 200 words.  As a final note, I will just tell you that at the end of my work day, I was singing a song that went, “Tomorrow is Friday, and they can’t make us work on Saturday, and we don’t have to work on Monday…”  Feel free to sing it yourself, making up your own tune and concluding stanza.  To anyone who works this weekend, sorry and thank you for your effort.  Whatever your work schedule, I wish you a Happy Thursday.

 

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Actually, I Prefer Paul Verhoeven

Posted on July 24, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I said to my husband Steven, “I can’t have a Non-Sequitur Thursday after I had a Tired Tuesday AND  a Wuss-out Wednesday.”  And he said, “They expect if of you by now,” quickly adding, “in a good way.”

On overtime.  In a play.  Having wine on the deck right now.  Have to go to dinner or stay here and cook something before getting to bed early for more overtime tomorrow… Yeah, I’m going to make another silly post.

I really do love writing a blog.  I love trying to come up with something every day.  I sadly cannot say “something different,” because sometimes I fear I am depressingly the same.  “I can’t write anything today!”  or “I must write a silly post today”  or… you know all my variations on a theme (perhaps that would have been a good title, but then it wouldn’t have been Non-Sequitur Thursday).

One reason we sat out on the deck drinking wine is that we were waiting for a friend to come over and borrow an army thing of mine.  I hope he does not mind my mentioning that. I thought I would bring it up for the sake of plugging his blog, The Dorky Daddy.  I really like that blog.

Speaking of liking blogs, I was going to write a post titled, “So Many Blogs, So Little Time,” because I don’t always have time to read all the blogs I follow or even check out other blogs who have Liked or Followed me.  Sorry, fellow bloggers!  I’ll try to do better!

In the meantime, Happy Thursday, everyone. And I believe we are going OUT for dinner.  I may even have another glass of wine.

 

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My Non-Consecutive Week Continues

Posted on April 2, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

This is my third consecutive day of not having a terrible headache. Isn’t that wonderful? Wouldn’t you think I would be busily writing away, words falling from my fingers to the page, blog post, novel, play, LET’S GO!

I know, some of you are sitting there saying, “I wouldn’t think that.” Some people have no faith in me. And some people are no doubt wondering if their faith in me was misplaced, as I write Yet Another Post About Not Being Able to Write a Post.

A digression: previously I have talked about Posts About Why I Can’t Write a Post Today. Which is fine, when I actually know why I can’t write a post. Since I sometimes don’t, I switched to Posts About How I Can’t Write a Post Today. Then just now as I was typing, I thought, a Post About Not Being Able to Write a Post. Tomorrow I may come up with something else, except in the unlikely event I can actually write a post. One must be prepared for anything.

On another unrelated note, I inadvertently hit some combination of keys on my computer which made the letters on the screen get all itty bitty. It is difficult to see what I an typing. Damn my presbyopia!

So I see that after having Tired Tuesday on a Monday, Wuss-out Wednesday on a Tuesday, I seem to be having… oh, I know some of you saw it coming, Non-Sequitur Thursday on a Wednesday! No matter, whatever it is, it’s over 200 words. I’ll try again tomorrow.

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More About My Underwear

Posted on February 22, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

This isn’t really a post about underwear, but I thought that would make a catchy title. So I guess that makes this a Non-Sequitur Saturday. It could be worse (it could be raining) (somebody always has to say that, you know).

I was going to have another Scattered Saturday post, but looking back I see those posts haven’t gotten a lot of Likes. I guess I’m kind of a positive reinforcement junkie, because I like the Likes. I was about to feel a little sheepish about that, but in fact, why not? I publish a blog for people to read. Naturally I want to write something people will enjoy reading. Writing is an act of communication, after all. Perhaps I should solicit more comments on my blog. Points to ponder.

In comments yesterday the idea came up of doing a poll on how bloggers dress while blogging. Just underwear, commando, naked… For the record I put on a delightfully cute outfit (although perhaps I flatter myself) prior to beginning this post. Um, I did not put on the outfit specifically to blog in, but because people MIGHT be coming over to my house later. Also, I prefer not to spend the entire day in sweats (although I have been known to do so).

My outfit, in case you’d like to know, consists of a denim jumper, white turtleneck and man’s sweater. I got the jumper at the Thrift Store in Ilion, NY recently. The sweater is grey with black and white, purchased at JC Penney in Potsdam, NY well over 20 years ago (purchased by myself for myself; I bought a lot of men’s sweaters back in the day). And on my legs some extremely colorful legging-type pants which I just purchased yesterday. I just bought the bra and underwear yesterday, too. Oh the joy of new undies!

Hey, look at that, I did mention my underwear. Guess it’s not such a Non-Sequitur Saturday after all.

And if anyone would like to comment on what they are wearing or share any thoughts about my underwear, please feel free.

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Yes, I Am a Silly Blogger

Posted on January 12, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I had thought to have Sunday Running Commentary. However, since it was 19 degrees out, I opted to run in place on the mini-tramp. It was not a particularly blogworthy activity (yes, computer, I know “blogworthy” is not a word, but it ought to be). While I ran, I watched a Hammer horror movie I had DVR’d back in October. Naturally I did not watch the whole movie. Perhaps someday when I am training for a marathon I shall be able to do such a thing. Today was not that day.

I suppose I am gearing up to Yet Another Post About Why I Can’t Write a Post Today. Some readers may be calling foul over that. After all, I had a Wrist to Forehead day yesterday. I had a Lame Post Friday and a Non-Sequitur Thursday. Oh yeah, and a Wuss-out Wednesday. Did I also wuss out on Tuesday? I don’t remember, and I am far too lazy to go back and check now. So you see.

“Yes, I see,” my reader is saying (that imaginary reader in my head who always says such things). “I see that you are too lazy be a real blogger! You bum!”

Can you believe this: my computer considers “blogger” to be a real word! But “blogworthy is not! What’s that all about, computer? Obviously blogworthy is a far superior and useful word. Blogger just sounds silly. Is that what I want to be? I guess I am silly. And so is my blog. I hope I still have some readers on Monday.
‘

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