Tag Archives: not writing

I Don’t Have a Clue

Posted on February 25, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh, all right, I’ll admit it.  I did not write a blog post while I was at work today.  In my defense… never mind.  It won’t interest you and/or you will accuse me of whining.  No doubt you will be right.  Well, I have written many posts about not being able to write a post. Let’s see if I can get away with it one more time.

I spent most of my time at work obsessing about the murder mystery I am still working on.  Every time I mention that it is not finished, the person I’m talking to says, “Well, you’d better get going.”  I find that less than inspiring. But that’s what I get for talking about writing instead of writing.

What my script lacks is the compelling clue.  That one thing that lets the audience say, “Ah, THAT is why the killer has to be X!”  I keep thinking of and rejecting ideas.  A cryptic note?  Who writes notes these days!  A cryptic text?  What could the murderer text to the victim?  “I’m going to kill you”?  I guess it would more likely be something like “IMA KL U”.  I never text anybody (I am SO 20th century).

Maybe the victim sent the text.  Only then we would know who it was sent to, wouldn’t we?  Maybe the victim had a good reason to be all 20th century and wrote a note.

And so I continue to ponder.  I’ll have more updates on this as the event comes closer.  Local readers may like to come see it.  I must be careful not to give anything way in this space.  It would constitute an unfair advantage in addition to ruining the surprise.

 

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Nothing Wise or Profound

Posted on February 24, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

I’m afraid today is Tired Tuesday.  I did start writing one thing while at work today, but is just isn’t going to work out.  You see, a terrible news story is occupying my mind and my emotions.  I knew I wouldn’t come up with anything profound or wise, but I thought I could say something.  It turns out that I can’t.

People always advise you to write about what’s bothering you.  I used to try, but it never helped.  I usually just got more upset as I articulated my problems.  I don’t think I’m that persuasive a writer, but I sure managed to persuade myself.  Go figure.

Years later I read in Ernest Hemingway’s A Movable Feast how he could write about Minnesota (I think) in Paris, but he could not write about Paris while he was there.  I don’t have the exact quote, because it’s been years since I’ve read it.  I must purchase a copy to have.  I read a similar thought in Natalie Goldman’s Writing Down The Bones.  She said you couldn’t write about being in love when you were in the first throes of infatuation:  all you want to write is, “I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love.”  That quote I could look up, because I own that book, but I’m just too, you guessed it, tired.

So even if I was wise and profound (we all know I’m not), I probably could not come up with something wise and profound at this point.  According to Hemingway and Goldberg, I could potentially write about something I felt or experienced years ago.  I’ll try that tomorrow.  I won’t promise wisdom or profundity, of course, but I’ll try not to be lame till Friday.

 

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My Computer Thinks “Profferer” Is Not a Word

Posted on February 19, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

There are a few things in life you can pretty much count on.  Not invariably, of course, but most of the time.  If you open and close scissors near a person’s hair, they will probably get nervous.  If you say, “Sometimes you feel like a nut,” the other person will probably say, “Sometimes you don’t.”  If I have to be somewhere in the evening and want to get my blog post done first, I will probably not write anything ahead of time while on break at work.

Welcome to Non-Sequitur Thursday.

So yesterday I wrote a post about writing and today I write a post about not writing.  Is that so bad?  I suppose some people will think it is while others cut me a break.  File that under another one of those things in life you can count on.

I must soon head out to pick up my husband Steven (I specify the relationship for the benefit of new readers, if any) and head to the monthly dinner meeting of Ilion Little Theatre.  Of course I’m hungry NOW, so I just ate a few pretzels and drank a glass of milk.  I find it difficult to write on an empty stomach.  I know, I know, I’m not doing so hot after the snack either.

When I got home from work about an hour and a half ago, I walked down to Steven’s place of employment and got his vehicle, which I then drove home.  It was not too cold until a bitter wind began to blow.  Also, the sidewalks were rather treacherous with uneven ice,  some of it deceptively covered with snow.  Some profferers of advice to writers insist that adverbs are horrid words and must be avoided assiduously (see what I did there?).  I disagree.

As I approach 300 words, I think it is clear that I am not going to come up with anything particularly noteworthy to say.  However, I just thought of a headline.  Tune in tomorrow, when Mohawk Valley Girl will once again explain that she did not write anything while on break at work.

 

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On with the Murder Mystery!

Posted on February 18, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

It looks as if the murder mystery dinner theatre I’ve been working on is going to happen.  That is good news, since I finally know who the murderer is.  I was working on it today instead of writing a blog post.  So instead of my usual Wuss-out Wednesday, I thought I would write a little about how I create these murder mysteries and call it a Mid-week Mental Meanderings.

I often start with the setting.  Obviously the setting is the dinner the play takes place at, but why are we all there?  Just a dinner party?  A hoity-toity fundraiser for some some charity beloved by rich folk?  Rich folk are often involved.  For one reason, it gives us actors a chance to wear our most fabulous outfits.  For another reason, it’s fun to make fun of rich people.  I often have a few false starts, but that’s OK.  No mental effort is ever wasted.

What finally got me started on this one was a glimmer of a character.  I wanted to include a woman who was somebody’s aunt and preferred to be called by her full name:  Awnt Theodora.  That is not a misspelling; she pronounces it “awnt.”  Naturally there must also be a character who insists on calling her Ant Teddy (again, that is not a misspelling).  This is the sort of thing that goes over much better in a play than in a book.  In the play, we’ll all just say “ant” or “awnt.”  I won’t have to explain anything.

I decided Theodora and her niece must be hoity-toity rich people of the Old Money variety.  The character who keep mispronouncing her name would be the niece’s fiance from the wrong side of the tracks, perhaps the son of a nouveau riche cattle rancher.  The reason for the dinner could be their engagement party.

And so it began.  Soon I had the number of characters I wanted and I began to add the details.  Who dislikes whom and why?  What secrets are people hiding?  This part is a lot of fun.  The rest of the process is pretty fun, too, only it’s not as easy.  I have to make choices and figure things out.  There is a lot of brain work, a lot of sitting and thinking, a lot of writing and crossing out, and quite a bit of blank-page staring.

I fear that to go through the whole process will be longer than, well longer than I feel like writing right now.  However, I think what I have so far will be an OK post for today.  I’ll write more about the Murder Mystery Process in future posts.  And I have made a discovery: writing about writing is even more fun than writing about not writing.

 

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Anything New on Wrist to Forehead Sunday?

Posted on February 8, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Welcome to another edition of Wrist to Forehead Sunday.  I’m your host, Mohawk Valley Girl.

Some feminists find it unbecoming for a female in her 50s to refer to herself as a “girl” and not a “woman.”  I fear I use the terms interchangeably.  To even things out, I do not hesitate to refer to males of any age as “boys.”  I usually do not use more derogatory terms than that for either gender.  That is just an aside, to up the word count a little.  I don’t like to publish too short a post.

Yesterday I bragged about how many blog topics I have as a result of our adventurous Saturday.  I even meant to start using them today.  Then I got my usual hesitation over starting:  I’m afraid the posts will not be good enough.  For example, my logical first post was going to be our first stop: Westmoreland Winter Farmers Market.  Well, I can’t do that off the top of my head.  At the very least I have to dig through some of the business cards I picked up along the way.  I won’t  be able to include all the vendors or even all the vendors I talked to, but I would like to mention at least a few of them by name.

Part of my problem is that I am oh, so tired.  Steven and I stayed up later than usual last night watching my beloved World’s Dumbest.  Then we were up by six, because he had to work at nine.  Of course that is sleeping in for us, so I did expect to be a little more peppy by now.  Perhaps it was the delicious Chinese New Year dinner I had at my niece’s house.  Full disclosure:  I had dessert too.  For anybody keeping track, that is three days when I violated the terms of my diet.  However, this is not a nutrition blog nor even a cooking post.  So there.

I had thought to write a few words about the Super Bowl.  One might think nothing new could be said about that, especially from someone who does not follow football, but I have hutzpah enough to try.  Valentine’s Day is also approaching.  I could definitely say a few things about that.  Before that is Ash Wednesday.  That is a more solemn day, of course, but I’ve shared enough laughs with priests to not fear writing about the church.

However, it seems the best I can do is another post about How I Can’t Write a Post Today (previously Why I Can’t, but I don’t really have any good reasons, I admit it).  Have I thought of new things to say about that?  In fact I think I have, but, for heavens’ sake, what is this obsession with novelty?

 

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Hit Publish and Drive On

Posted on February 4, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Sometimes it doesn’t work.

After yesterday’s blubbering about how I couldn’t write, I got a little stern with myself.  I left my puzzle book home and when it was break time, I sat down, took out my notebook, and started to write.

I had been thinking about what I was going to write before I sat down.  That usually helps.  Very often after I have been going through a dry spell or putting off a particular writing project, I sit down and I write it.  Just like that.  I spend some time after that wondering what my problem had been in the first place.  I make a mental note of the results, reminding myself that next time perhaps the operative thing to do is to, damn it, just sit down and write the thing!

Well, I’m rarely as prompt as I ought to be about any given chore, be it laundry or writing.  Still, after several episodes of finally sitting down and writing something, I do try the Dammit-Just-Sit-Down-And-Write method a little sooner than I used to.

Aaand (you saw this coming) sometimes it doesn’t work.  Maybe I don’t try it soon enough?  Maybe I tried it too soon?  Maybe I didn’t sit in the right place.  Or work on the right project.

Full disclosure:  I do have a mostly finished blog post about a cheesy movie we recently viewed.  It is just too long for me to type in right now, and I would like to edit and perhaps add a few things.  It was just too much trouble to do that tonight.  I have a baby afghan I am finishing for a co-worker (don’t say anything; it’s a surprise).  I need to sit and crochet.

So we’ll call this a Wuss-out Wednesday, hit publish and drive on.  I hope you’re having a lovely middle of the week.

 

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The Groundhog Day Connection

Posted on February 3, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

I am going through a MAJOR dry spell.  My brain just does not want to write.  Does this happen to other writers?  I would imagine it does, but I know for a fact that many writers and especially non-writers are quite impatient of such nonsense.

On the one hand, they have a point.  What am I doing right now but writing? (Technically I am typing, but let’s not be didactic, shall we?)  It’s been said before, even by me: sometimes you just have to sit down and WRITE, even when you don’t damn well feel like it.

Unfortunately, that does not mean one can progress on the project at hand (I say “one” instead of “you,” because I’m sure some of you are huffing, “I ALWAYS can!”) (fat liars).  What I forget is that I can always write SOMETHING.  Then I do things like read, watch television, work on cryptogram or anacrostic puzzles (my two favorites), anything but clean the house.  Or write.

Sometimes I remember that I can always write something, and I do.  Often a letter to a loved one.  Often a very foolish blog post (YES, like this one).  Today, you may have guessed, was not one of those days.  It was, if you are interested, a cryptogram puzzle day.  I did not write a foolish blog post till, um, yes, right now.

Would this have been a better post if I had managed to squeeze some words out of my brain and onto the page earlier?  Quite possibly.  Perhaps I can try that tomorrow, and we can compare/contrast.

In the meantime, I would point out that today is Groundhog Day.  In the movie of that name (which I never saw, sue me), Bill Murray lives the same day over and over again.  I can’t help feeling that this is kind of familiar:  I’m living the same blog post over and over:  “I can’t write, I didn’t write, this is a foolish blog post…”

And you, dear reader, are living it with me.  Once again, thank you for playing.

 

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Baby Fat

Posted on February 2, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh dear, I just sat here looking at the blank computer screen and watching the end of an episode of Reba.  It is a silly show but not without charm.  Uh, I mean, I never watch television.  I don’t have time to watch television, let alone a foolish half-hour sit com.

We all know that’s not true, at least anybody who has read many of my blog posts.  Hell, just yesterday I was talking about Galavant, and that’s one of the classier shows I watch.  How many times have I hurried through my post so I could get back to watching World’s Dumbest, a show which is sadly missing from the schedule many days lately (I’m not ending this with a question mark, because it was rhetorical).

OK, I’m just rambling.  The reason I’m rambling is that I do NOT want to take another Blogger’s Sick Day.  And yet, here I sit. My throat is sore, my head aches, and I have that all-around crappy feeling.  I believe it is nothing worse than a common or garden cold this time, but you know what a big fat baby I am about these things.

I believe there is a theory that I could strive to be less of a big fat baby.  As a matter of fact, I have already taken steps in that direction.  Today was my first day back on the South Beach Diet.  I don’t really expect to be less of a big baby, but I hope that soon I will be less fat.

 

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Wrong Writing on Wuss-out Wednesday

Posted on January 21, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Sometimes you don’t have a reason to feel the way you feel.  Sometimes you just feel a certain way and you just have to keep feeling that way until you don’t feel that way any more.

Yes, it is Wuss-out Wednesday, and this is Yet Another Post About How I Can’t Write A Post.  On the brighter side, I  do not intend to go on an on about how it makes me FEEL.  Don’t you just hate it when people go on and on about their feelings?  Oh yeah, like YOU never do it!

Where was I?

I spent all day trying to think about something to write for a blog post.  Sometimes, for a change of pace, I thought about that novel I started to write a couple of years ago that I VOWED I would finish.  Remember that novel?  Remember Finish That Novel May?  That was, of course, last May.  The novel still isn’t finished.  However, I remembered a trick I read about re-energizing a stalled novel.  You write a brief summary about the story as a whole, perhaps in the form of a rave review or a book flap blurb.  I tried it.  I’m not sure it worked, but I wrote a page anyways.

As I have stated on this blog before, any writing counts.  My problem now is to get to the RIGHT writing.  My novel.  The murder mystery script.  A better blog post.  We’ll see what I can come up with on Non-Sequitur Thursday.

 

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Should Have Used Vanilla

Posted on January 7, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Today is Wuss-out Wednesday and you can just be mad at me about it.

I tried to write a post.  I had, in fact, over 200 words of a post typed in and some of them were pretty good words.  I think my readers would have enjoyed them.  But were they honest words?  They sounded good, but I think I lied.

I really REALLY do NOT want to start complaining about my aches and pains again.  Oops, I guess I just did.  The point is, I do not have the brain power to finish that post.  I am hoping to come up with something mildly amusing now.  Slightly entertaining?  Vaguely not boring?

Oh, this is ridiculous!  I should be able to write with a headache.  I’ve done it before.  When I was in college I aced a couple of essay tests with strep throat and that brought on some major head pain.  Of course I wasn’t trying to be funny.  I think it’s harder to be funny.

Let’s try this. Picture me hitting myself in the face with a cream pie.   An ice cream pie.  Aaahhh…. Ice on my headache.  But what a waste of chocolate.  And now the syrup is dripping down my neck and will stain my sweatshirt.  Dammit, why didn’t I use vanilla?

 

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