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Lame S****, Different Day

For those of you who missed Lame Post Friday as much as I did, here is some rather foolish commentary about my ride home Thursday.

When I left work on Thursday, I was on a mission to procure a special snack for my husband, Steven, and I to share when he came home for his dinner break at 5:30ish. I though I might go to Melrose Market in Frankfort and see if they had anything.

I work at a certain factory in Ilion. Now, there are a few different ways to get from Ilion to Herkimer or Ilion to Frankfort, as the case may be. The most direct route to my house is out State Route 5. That is a very busy route between 3:30 and 4, so I usually go through Mohawk. It’s kind of fascinating to me how Herkimer, Mohawk, Ilion and Frankfort kind of run into each other. You can go on one of two highways — State Route 5 or Route 5S (east or west) — or you can go through the villages. It’s fun. Or am I too easily amused?

And here’s a related question, why is there a State Route 5 and a Route 5S so close together? You can’t run out of numbers. That is a recurring theme around here. For example, Ilion has a Second Street and a Second Avenue. I can understand being just too tired to think up another street name. But numbers are infinite, and we all know the order they go in. Just move on to the next number! How hard can it be? Apparently too. If anybody out there knows the very logical, understandable reason the streets are thus named, I would be interested to hear it. But I will not feel the least bit chastened, and I will not cease to poke fun.

Now then, where was I? Ah yes, driving around the block in Ilion. I didn’t quite explain that, did I? I took a right rather than a left out of the factory parking lot when I really wanted to go left. Just go around the block, right? How hard could it be? Well, Ilion is a little like Rome: screwy. None of the streets are quite parallel, and nothing comes out where you think it ought to. “Going around the block” in this case necessitates two right turns, one left, another right, another left, and two more rights. On the brighter side, this brings you out right next to the liquor store. I stopped and got a bottle of Pinot Noir. Not Vampire Pinot Noir, which would have been seasonal, because they didn’t have any. Still, Noir is dark. But I digress.

I drove through Ilion into Frankfort, not needing to go on one of the highways. I passed a sign that said “Saranac Tasting 4 to 7.” It was 3:55, which was just as well, because I was on a time budget. Unfortunately, when I got to Frankfort, there was not a parking space to be had anywhere near Melrose Market. I love that grocery store, but the parking situation leaves something to be desired. I drove past and got onto State Route 5. From here I could go back to Ilion and try again. This would bring me near that Saranac tasting at four. I was tempted, but like I said, on a time budget. I opted to drive into Herkimer and my old stand by, Hannaford. From there, I went home and fixed roll-ups, as described in yesterday’s post.

I hope this satisfies everybody’s need for my weekly silliness quotient. It certainly satisfied mine.

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