Author Archives: mohawkvalleygirl

The Dog Ate my Blog Post

Posted on May 24, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

Subtitle: Lame Excuses (which I may have used as a title previously) (too lazy to check, sorry). Did anybody seriously think I was going to forgo Lame Post Friday? Say it ain’t so!

My question of half-baked philosophy for today is: why do I get more Likes on these ridiculous posts than I do on my so-called (by me) real posts? Oh dear, have I just asked for nobody to Like this post? Oh well, I guess people will Like or not what they please. I have no control over other people.

So much for half-baked philosophy. What about random observations (on the off chance that there are readers just tuning in: Lame Post Friday is the day for random observations and half-baked philosophy). Steven and I both observed an adorably happy retriever-looking dog sticking his or her head out of a car. Steven at first was not sure if it was a dog, since it pulled its head back in for a moment (he was driving so was not observing as attentively as was I). Then he or she stuck his or her head back out again. Very cute.

Should I mention we were on our way to Happy Hour at the Belly Up Pub at the time? Or will people think I am a lush? Or judge me for drinking and typing? Well, I didn’t have that much to drink. We were only there an hour. We ate some munchies and enjoyed the mellow sounds of Phillip Arcuri. I intend to write a blog post about it.

For now, well, I’m afraid that’s it. I’m going to enjoy the rest of my Friday night. I hope you will do the same.

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A Pain in the Blog

Posted on May 23, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh dear. I am having a dreadful case of What Haven’t I Written About? If I was in front of my computer (um, clearly I am NOW, but when I wrote this, I was sitting at a desk scribbling in a spiral notebook), I could easily go back and check. Wait and do it later? But we have plans for the evening. I want to type in a short, previously written essay and hit “Publish.” Is that too much to ask of my brain? Apparently it is.

In my defense, I have a dreadfully upset stomach. You know all body part are connected. Again I say, oh dear. I just flashed on this scene from a TV show I saw back in the 70s or 80s. It may have been Trapper John, MD. They were running the Boston Marathon. This short oriental guy (I think he used to play Arnold on Happy Days) fell and hurt his leg. A doctor who was also running the marathon (he was the series regular) (no, I don’t remember his name; I’m not even sure of the series, it was just a flash, after all) expected the guy to stop running, which he did not.

“The pain in my leg, not my head,” he said, jogging happily away.

So there’s my inner critic, sniping, “The pain is in your stomach, not your head.” Oh, shut up.

I suppose most pain and nausea pass eventually (“But stupid is forever,” mocks the inner critic, who does not shut up just because I tell him to). In the meantime, I see now that I am partway though Yet Another Post About Why I Can’t Write a Post. But can I think of anything new to say about that?

Well, I could not at the time. The above is all I wrote this morning. When I logged onto WordPress to type it in and attempt to finish it, I was greeted with Congratulations from WordPress, it is my anniversary as a blogger. Three years I have been at this. I forgot that date was approaching. I think it is pretty darn hilarious that as I mark three years, all I can come up with is a silly post like this. Then again, it is Non-Sequitur Thursday. Thank you for participating.

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I Didn’t Rock This

Posted on May 22, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

I am becoming quite fond of Wuss-out Wednesday. Of course, it will never replace Lame Post Friday in my affections, but I read somewhere that love keeps on stretching. I suppose I could segue from there into a contemplation of Love. Then this would become a Maudlin Mid-Week Middle-aged Musing. Love the alliteration, but I am not up for that sort of a post.

That is as much as I wrote at work. Then I guess you could say I wussed out. In my defense, it hurt to write (never mind about that; long story, not very interesting). Then I came home and did NOT wuss out. I went running. That’s right! I’m going to attempt a Running Commentary.

I had thought it would be raining by this afternoon. Instead, I walked out of my place of employment to a breezy, pleasant day. I could rock this! My co-worker pointed out that it was feeling a little muggy, but I didn’t worry. I got home and changed into running clothes.

And proceeded to run very, very slowly. And painfully. What was wrong with my legs? I last ran on Monday, a mere two days ago. Oh dear. Earlier today I saw an older man running along at a pace that looked barely more than a walk. I imagine that is pretty much what I looked like. Persevere, I told myself. Persevere.

The mugginess my co-worker had noticed increased as I ran. Get used to it, I told myself. It will only get worse as the season progresses. It really was not too bad, since the temperature was moderate. My only worry was that it would rain, which it certainly felt as if it might. I decided to run close to home, in case of a deluge. I would persevere through a little rain. Any thunder and lightning and I was out of there.

It soon became clear that I was not going to reach the “I can rock this” stage. But it was not a bad run for all that. I sniffed some lilacs I had run by on Monday. Monday two people were in that yard, so I felt self-conscious. They weren’t there today. Further on I saw some white tulips. Beautiful.

I was glad that I ran, although I felt so dreadfully tired I was certain I could never manage a blog post. Oh, look, I just wrote a blog post. Fooled myself.

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A Happy Hour Indeed

Posted on May 21, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

Last Friday I asked Steven to take me to Happy Hour at the Belly Up Pub.

“I want to sit at the bar and pretend we’re in our 20s and 30s,” I said. When were first started dating, I was in my 20s and Steven was in his 30s. That was a while ago.

We were happy to find seats at the end of the bar, my favorite spot. We had to wait a few minutes for the Bonus Happy Hour to start at five. Happy Hour at the Belly Up Pub usually runs from 6 till 8, but for May they had a bonus hour from 5 to 6. I felt like a cheapskate waiting for a half price drink, but sometimes you just have to save a buck (don’t worry; we tipped the bartender on the full amount).

Live music was provided by Louis Baldanza, who plays a pretty mean guitar. He sang some bad ass songs from the 70s. I felt a little bad, because he kept asking for requests and I couldn’t think of a thing. We enjoyed his sound and made sure we put something in his Tip Jar.

Everything was half price, so we ordered a couple of hot dogs and some french fries. They offer a selection of appetizers: chicken wings, jalapeno poppers, eggplant fries, to name a few. This was our first time getting hot dogs, and they were quite good.

Drawings for giveaways are held every 15 minutes. I won a Belly Up coozy and a coin for a half price drink.

“So if we come early next time, we won’t have to wait,” I said.

Steven noticed that shot glasses were also half price. He collects shot glasses, although neither of us do shots, so he asked to see one. Before he could ask the price, the bartender did another drawing.

“We usually give away a shot glass at six,” she told us. “You won.” How awesome was that!

We had a really nice time, although I did not actually pretend I was in my 20s. Who wants to go back in time anyways? Life is good right now.

The Belly Up Pub is located at 122 West Albany St., Herkimer, NY. For more information, visit their website at www.bellyuppub.com. You can also Like them on Facebook.

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Cheesy TV

Posted on May 20, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

Here is a new feature I recently came up with: Cheesy TV. Regular readers know how I love to write about cheesy movies. Well, they are not always easy to come by. However, I am discovering a whole world of cheese on cable television.

I have a long-standing addiction to true crime shows. I prefer a real documentary where they cover the facts of the case. I despise re-enactments. I find they are always cheesy and usually unnecessary. However, as re-enactment fests take over my true crime channels, I occasionally tune in to one. And I find they sometimes have a charm all their own. The dialogue in the re-enactments, which is often supposed to play like they’re being overheard, is laughable. The acting is of the scenery chewing variety. And when they show a photo of the actual people, you see the casting director had a very flattering idea of their attractiveness.

I almost feel I should include a spoiler alert, because this episode did not turn out as I expected. However, I also feel I can treat a true crime show, however cheesy, differently from now I treat a cheesy movie. I will also point out that I was paying my usual desultory attention to this one. They may actually have said who was going to end up dead and I missed it.

I will preface this essay by saying: Nobody deserves to be murdered. I suppose there are those who will dispute that statement, but I am not going there today. I would like to talk about a murder victim who, I feel, could have avoided the situation in which the murder took place. I intend to comment on this, and on the cheesy nature of the program which presented the case. I fear sounding insensitive, since an actual person did, in fact, die. Sorry about that.

OK, on with the write-up. Steven and I watched one of the cheesier crime shows on Investigation Discovery: Deadly Affairs. This one is narrated by the divine Susan Lucci, which I feel make it a cut above the rest.

Lucci presents to us a guy who has a girlfriend who is really a guy. They are off again/on again, because the guy is a serial cheater. Then they go on again and move to this cowboy town where the guy insists his lover live as a man and they keep their love affair a secret.

Soon the Guy is having an affair with a hot single mother. At first she doesn’t mind that he has a boyfriend, then she does, so he sends the boyfriend packing.

As soon as the Girl moves in, she discovers the Guy is a control freak. After many public screaming matches (all we see is a fairly hilarious fight about him telling her what order to hang her clothes in), they break up. The Guy can’t stand being alone, so he gets the Boyfriend back by telling him he can live as a woman and they can get married.

However, the Girl did not think they were permanently broken up, and she is not happy with this development. She follows them around, announcing in a loud voice that the fiance is really a man. She even has the nerve to crash their wedding. Naturally the Guy starts having sex with her again. Any slimy hound dog serial cheater would. But he makes no move to get rid of his new wife. Tensions escalate.

Of course I’ve been thinking all this time that Boyfriend/Wife is going to get it, probably from the Girl, because the narration keeps talking about jealousy. Imagine my surprise.

The Girl is out drinking one night and gets all maudlin talking about how she wants to “make amends.” Those are the exact words, used several times. If only she can see the Guy without his Boyfriend/Wife, she can “make amends.” So she goes over to their house at two in the morning.

Hello! Who goes over to somebody’s house at two in the morning and expects the wife NOT to be there? And if you really want to “make amends,” it is a better plan to wait till a decent hour of broad daylight and, for example, SEND FLOWERS! Maybe write a nice note. A conciliatory phone call.

The story is that the Boyfriend/Wife beats the poor Girl to death while the husband is sound asleep upstairs. Did you buy that? I didn’t. I don’t know what went down, and I don’t think the producers of this show did, either. I think they picked the version they liked best, and I’m kind of glad they did, because it certainly gave me something to write about.

I can believe the Girl SAID she wanted to make amends, but I don’t believe that is really what she had in mind. And I sure as hell don’t believe that the horn dog that started it all slept through a beat-down of that magnitude.

Really, when I think about it, it is a very sad story. That Girl did not deserve to be murdered and buried in the desert (oh yeah, I left that part out) (the post is getting a little long). I think what she needed to do to begin with was to find a classier guy to set her sights on. Same goes for the Boyfriend/Wife, although I lost a whole lot of sympathy for him when I found out he was a murderer.

But it is a fun show to watch. Susan Lucci pops up a couple of times looking delicious in an evening gown, about to go out on the town with a hottie who, presumably, does not plan to murder her. Lacking cheesy movies and sometimes time to watch a whole movie, I will continue to embrace cheesy television.

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Working Hard in the Yard and Garden

Posted on May 18, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

How about a gardening post in lieu of my usual Wrist to Forehead Sunday. I was about to put a question mark, but since I intend to write it before receiving any possible replies, I decided against it.

Perhaps yard work is a better term than gardening. The reader may judge. Steven went to work at nine as usual. I went to the store and picked up a few items (not blogworthy, except for the nice conversation I had with a lady in the yarn aisle), then returned home determined to do something useful before Steven’s return.

I had my prescription sunglasses on, because it was quite a bright day (cue unkind remarks about how I’m not). I thought, why not add my crazy old lady hat to the ensemble (pronounced “ahn-sahm,” as the French do) and mow the lawn?

The lawn had been mowed nicely last Saturday by two neighborhood boys. It could go a few more days before it really needed it, but I find if I’m going to use the non-power mower, sooner is better. I have to use the non-power mower because I am quite incapable of getting the power mower started. I like it because it is quieter, and I get that little frisson of virtue because I am being “green.” Also it is good exercise, which I sorely need.

So there I was, pushing and pushing. The lawn didn’t look too bad. Maybe I would write a blog post about it (and I am!). I still need to do something about the edges of the lawn, but I had another notion for the rest of my outdoor activities for the day.

When we moved into our house, the front yard contained a whole lot of orange day lilies. Not the short, nice ones with spiky leaves on the stems that I see in other people’s yards. They were tall and, quite frankly, a little blowsy. Steven mowed them down, except for a big patch at the side of our porch. There they still grow, along with some ferns of jungle proportions. Not that I’ve ever been to the jungle, but with a plastic gorilla and a Barbie doll, I bet we could film a cool version of King Kong.

Last year I went and cut down all that I could. It was late in the season, so that was all I did. This time I had another idea. First I went and pulled up or cut down everything I could. Then I found an old shower curtain we had in the garage and put that down. That would keep any of that crap from growing back. I had to cut the shower curtain and arrange it. This was going to work.

Next I pulled out a bag of mulch we hadn’t used last year (or maybe even the year before. Oh dear). Three cubic feet, could I drag it out front without hurting my back. Yes I could! I am da woman! I spread it around as best I could. Then realized I should have smoothed out the shower curtain a little better. No matter. I pulled the ends and did the best I could.

The edges of the shower curtain still showed. I had put rocks down on the corners. Could I find some more rocks and cover the edges? That would look nice.

Something else I did when we first started working in the yard was collect rocks. When I would be digging up areas to plant stuff, if I dug up rocks I would save them for future use. There are some in a ring around our rhododendron now. Others reside in a heap under the deck awaiting my need.

Walking back and forth from the deck to the porch probably constituted good exercise, especially carrying rocks of varying sizes. I was careful every time I straightened up not to hit my stupid head (which I am unfortunately prone to do).

Oh dear, I think this made a better story in my head while I was doing it than it does now while I’m writing it. Never mind, I’m almost done. I still need a few more rocks (cue jokes about how I DON’T need more rocks in my head), and then I need to put something on the mulch to be decorative. Some potted flowers or perhaps a stone garden statue.

It’s too bad I don’t have the proper camera and know how to post a picture. Then again, maybe your mental picture looks better than what I actually did and would only disappoint you. At any rate, this is the longest Sunday post I have done in a long time. If you’re still with me, enjoy the rest of your weekend. If you stopped reading two or three paragraphs ago, I still wish you well.

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I’ll Never Be an Art Critic

Posted on May 18, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

Full disclosure: I’ve been trying to write this post for two weeks now. I just can’t think of the right things to say. I’m pretty sure that the stuff I’ve said so far is pretty dumb. However, it is late in the day on Saturday and I need a post. Let’s see what my editing skills are up to.

At the beginning of May, I went to the Mohawk Valley Center for the Arts in Little Falls, NY for the exhibit opening of “From the River to the Sea with David Burns.” Dr. Burns is an MD who took up painting and is very good at it. He says, “An artist could be anyone who is attentive to his surrounds; notices when a common scene becomes caught in an uncommon light.” I really liked the exhibit.

I confess that I feel kind of cool when I say to people, “I’m going to an exhibit opening at the arts center.” I don’t know why exactly. I’m not cultured; I’m barely housebroken. I don’t think I’m a snob. I mean, I’m not one to do things because they are “culture,” whatever that means. However, I do like looking at art. I like talking to other people who like looking at art. And sometimes they serve refreshments at these openings.

Ah well, I think the question of why I like saying I’m going to an exhibit opening is one best left for half-baked philosophy on Lame Post Friday. Right now, I would like to give a shout-out to Mohawk Valley Center for the Arts.

I walked around the gallery at least three times, admiring each painting, trying to decide which was my favorite. Of course I couldn’t decide, but I think I liked best the pictures of old buildings from the area. “Old Stone Schoolhouse” was a particular standout. I wish I knew some good art critic-y things to say like “beautifully observed” or… OK “beautifully observed” is the only one I can think of. This is kind of like when I taste wine and all I can think to say is “yummy.” These were some beautiful pictures.

I did enjoy the elegant refreshments. I would have liked to ask for the recipe for the scones but felt a little self-conscious doing so. Then I felt a little silly for enjoying the food when the point of the day was the art.

The exhibit runs through June 21. I plan to return return one afternoon to look at the pictures again, when there will probably be fewer people there. Gallery hours are Thursday through Saturday 12 to 3 p.m. For more information on the Mohawk Valley Center for the Arts you can visit their website at www.MohawkValleyArts.org, and you can Like them on Facebook.

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Crap! I Forgot to Write my Post!

Posted on May 17, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

It is Lame Post Friday, and I knew it would be Lame Post Friday, so I did not exercise myself too much about my blog post for today. So sorry about that.

I had some thoughts earlier today about “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” But when I mentioned them to Steven, he made an observation that told me my thoughts were not all that original. Oh dear! We can’t have that! I’ll save that subject for another Lame Post Friday.

For today, I’m afraid I have very few random observations and half-baked philosophies (the mainstays of Lame Post Friday, for those of you just tuning in). One observation: late afternoon traffic in Ilion, NY is terrible. That is scarcely original: traffic is terrible in many places at many times. That might be a starting point for some half-baked philosophy about why our society is so crowded and in such a hurry. Hmm, can’t think of much to say about that.

OK, I’m in favor of full disclosure, so here it is for today: I left work today and met my husband Steven at the laundromat. After we left there, I talked him into going to the Belly Up Pub for Happy Hour. We had a delightful time. I will no doubt write a blog post about it.

In the meantime, I got nuthin’ for today. What a surprise. All I want to do is sit and knit and watch the movie that Steven selected to continue our Friday night. I may write another post about that, but for tonight, have a good Lame Post Friday.

Let’s see what I can come up with for Saturday.

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Fun at Fly Creek

Posted on May 16, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

Any place that offers free samples is an OK place in my book. At the top of the list is the Fly Creek Cider Mill.

You can walk around the sales floor and sample dips, sauces, salsas and more. You can also try the hard cider and apple wine, if you’re over 21, which I am. If you’re hungrier than samples will satisfy, there is a snack bar. On a recent trip with a family group, some people in the group were that hungry.

“But if you buy something inside, you can get 10 percent off at the snack bar,” I told them. “You can have some free samples to hold you over.” I was out-voted. That was OK. The snack bar offers some pretty tasty stuff, and I saved room for samples.

The fellow at the wine tasting bar was very knowledgeable. I learned that true ice wine is made when the fruit has frozen before being picked. Some unscrupulous winemakers freeze the fruit after picking and fall it ice wine, but the Apple Wine we sampled was the real thing. Very sweet, definitely a dessert wine, in case you wanted to know.

After some sampling, we went upstairs to admire gifts and decorations. I’m not exactly ready to think about Christmas yet, but they sure do have some pretty stuff.

One of my favorite things to do at the cider mill is to feed the ducks, geese and chickens. Several vending machines dispense a handful of corn for a quarter. I also gathered some corn from the ground, where people had dropped it. Waste not, want not. I especially like to go up on the deck and toss corn into the pond for the ducks to dive for.

I usually go to the Fly Creek Cider Mill several times a year. For more information you can visit their website at www.flycreekcidermill.com. You can also Like them on Facebook. I did.

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A Post in the Blog is Worth Two in the Notebook

Posted on May 15, 2014 by mohawkvalleygirl

It is turning out to be a Wuss-out Wednesday. I see no reason to apologize for this, as I seem to get more likes for posts about Why I Can’t Write a Post than I get for what I continue to think of as “real” posts.

It did not start out to be Wuss-Out Wednesday. Early in the day I wrote an entire post about an authentic Mohawk Valley adventure I had. Then I went to work. While I worked, I thought of something else to write a blog post about. I even started writing it in my head. When the buzzer for the nine o’clock break rang, I grabbed my notebook and wrote frantically.

Well, what can I say? Things happen.

What happened, you may quite reasonably ask. Oh, never mind. Explanations are so tiresome and I do enough complaining as it is. I did, however, end up writing a good deal more of the second post I started.

So two posts in the notebook, and crap on the computer. What’s that all about, you may ask, another quite reasonable inquiry. The answer is, I don’t think either one is quite good enough to share with you, my beloved readers (ooh, here’s a Freudian typo: I started to type “freaders” Could that be a combination of “freaks” and “readers”) (not meaning to imply anything and no offense meant).

Without exactly complaining, I will just MENTION that I’ve had a headache all day. It is one thing to write frantically. I am just not up to editing.

So out I wuss. Happy Wednesday, everybody.

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