Category Archives: Lame Post Friday

Curse You, Christopher Lee!

Posted on October 26, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I wrote that headline in the midst of writing this post, and I like it so much I’m going to use it, even though it is not really indicative of the post as a whole. Let’s just say we’re having a non-sequitur moment.

Well, here I am on Lame Post Friday, perched on a stool in my kitchen, writing in a notebook (the spiral-bound paper kind, not a computer) while onions cook and garlic breathes.

While at work today (on breaks, as you know), I worked on my novel and on a blog post which is becoming increasingly unwieldy. It is about a Christopher Lee horror movie. I do love writing about movies, but I always seem to have so much to say. I’ve been working on this one all week. I keep turning a page to work on something else, then going back to the post and leap-frogging to the next clean page. I’m getting a little confused.

And a little embarrassed. Earlier this week, I wrote about how I could not write a particular post, then went back the next day and wrote that post. Now it seems I am doing the same thing with Christopher Lee.

Oh well, these are the choices I make. I like to post every day and only seem able to accomplish this end with an increasing number of very foolish posts. As always, I strive for improvement. This week I believe I had… (counting in my head; too impatient to actually go back and check) five out of six foolish posts so far. What a wretched record! I have no place to go but up.

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Lame Till Proven Innocent

Posted on October 19, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Almost every time I go to write the year, I start to write a different year from what it really is.

That is the only random observation I have so far on this Lame Post Friday.

I always feel a little guilty having a Lame Post Friday right after a Non-Sequitur Thursday. Then again, at least I didn’t use the Wuss-Out Wednesday post I started to write two days ago. What did I post on Wednesday? I’ll have to look it up before I publish this. If I publish this.

That was as far as I wrote at work. Since that time, I have come up with a couple more random observations. If I choose between two things to do, I am sure to feel guilty about whichever one I didn’t pick. That is the personal one. The environmental one is: while I see several houses nicely decorated for Halloween, nobody seems to have really gone overboard. I record this observation with some regret, because I love Halloween.

Well, this is pretty thin, even for a Friday Lame Post (does that count as another observation?). However, I will publish it anyways, because I have to get out the door soon for a Mohawk Valley adventure. Yes, the thing I picked to do that now I feel guilty about not picking the other thing. However, in my defense, I walked my dog and I am making my blog post (such as it is). Therefore, I only have one thing to feel guilty about not doing.

In case you want to know, the thing I feel guilty about missing is exercising at Curves. Someone might argue that I can also feel guilty about not going running, but, really, that was never on the roster for today. However, my membership at Curves is over as of next week. Therefore, soon I will either be running for feeling guilty about it. You’ll read it here first (at least, I hope somebody will still be reading).

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It’s a Non-Sequitur, It’s a Memory, NO, It’s Lame Post Friday!

Posted on October 12, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Full Disclosure: I’m writing blog posts ahead this week. We’re going away for the weekend, and I don’t want to worry about getting up extra early on Friday or finding a computer on Saturday (the only full day we’ll be gone) (oh dear, I hope nobody made a note of that and intends to rob my house) (well, if you do, please clean the bathroom while you’re there, it’s disgusting) (and anybody that just said “TMI” to that last bit, Shut up! You know I hate that expression!).

Where was I? Ah, yes, this will be either Non-Sequitur Thursday or Lame Post Friday. I’ll decide when I type it into the computer. As you may have guessed, this post is a silly one.

When I registered at the Superhero Sprint on Saturday, they gave me an itty bitty box of candy, maybe an inch long, half-inch wide, quarter-inch deep. It had the Incredible Hulk on the outside and said it contained Candy Sticks.

I put the box in my purse and did not think about it again till the other day at work, when I happened to notice it. Now, I like to say I don’t see the point of candy that isn’t chocolate. That is not really accurate, of course, but I’m sure chocolate lovers see my point. Furthermore, I am trying to cut down on sweets (for me that is easier than cutting back on salty treats and deep-fried yumminess). I asked my friend Karen if she wanted them.

“What are they?”

“I know know; it says Candy Sticks. I thought it might be good if you needed that little sugar boost.” For my own sugar boost needs, I generally rely on hot chocolate out of the machine or substitute caffeine.

Pause for PSA: Kids! Don’t use artificial stimulants!

Back to the blog: Karen opened up the box and we peeked at the candy sticks.

“Why, those are candy cigarettes,” I exclaimed. “Remember candy cigarettes?” Not being worried if she dated herself in front of me, Karen nodded.

They weren’t exactly candy cigarettes, because they didn’t have the red food coloring tip (probably made with red dye number whatever that caused cancer). Still, the resemblance was striking.

“Think of it,” I said. “For years, all those candy-cigarette-making-machines stood idle, because it wasn’t cool to sell candy cigarettes any more. Then somebody got the idea, ‘Hey! We’ll make candy STICKS instead!’ And all those machines got used again!”

I don’t know if Karen was similarly struck at the thought or if she just likes to laugh at my nonsense. But I thought the whole story was good enough for a silly blog post. Candy cigarettes! What a blast from the past!

Ooh, I just realized, I could save this post for Monday, when it could be a Middle-aged Memory. But, no, I think I will use it for Lame Post Friday. For one thing, I’m too tired to write up and type in yet another post.

Have a nice weekend!

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How Lame of Me

Posted on September 21, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

It is Lame Post Friday, and I am indeed lame. I did not write anything at work today (except for a paragraph or two on my novel)(in the interests of accuracy). I did not think of anything I could write about. I did not come home and run or walk so as to write about that. True, I could still do one of those, but I want to get this post written NOW.

Oh, just a brief update on my computer tribulations of Wednesday. The tablet is working now. I don’t know why or how but am not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

Ah, that gives me a lame topic to write about: another Cliche Revisited (I love to pick apart a cliche). Never look a gift horse in the mouth. Why not? If you have a horse, wouldn’t you like to know how old it is? Or if it needs dental work? The Trojan Horse should definitely have been looked in the mouth, or I guess the stomach, where the soldiers were hiding. Um, I’m not clear on if the Trojans were inside the horse or the ones who received it as a gift. And I do not care enough to look it up.

Hmmm, can’t think of another cliche to refute. How lame of me.

Well, how long does a Lame Friday Post have to be to count? Usually if I go over 200 words, I am content. Ooh, and I did. Happy Friday, everybody.

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In My Defense, I’m Fighting a Cold

Posted on September 7, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Well, I wrote some more on the post about the non-cheesy movie, but I’m just not up to it right now. Anyways, it’s Lame Post Friday. I don’t care how many times I wimp out during the week with a silly post, I treasure my Lame Post Friday.

Even when the post itself is no treasure.

I did have a random observation today. I observed a kid wearing a t-shirt from a nightclub that closed long ago.

“The shirt lasted longer than the club did,” I remarked. My co-worker agreed.

I didn’t observe much else today, other than the speed limit (well, I thought it was a funny thing to say). But I do have one bit of half-baked philosophy: I thought to myself today, “I could have BEEN somebody!” My next thought was, “Who else could I have possibly been?” In fact, I could have turned out into somebody worse. So I started thinking about who other people might have been.

For example, maybe Mother Theresa could have been the CEO of a multi-national corporation that made bazillions of dollars exploiting the masses and wreaking havoc on the environment (I’m not saying all multi-national corporations do those things; I’m just saying Mother Theresa could have headed up one that did). The CEO of some big corporation could have been a stay-at-home mom or dad (I know, probably dad), raising kids who could have been…

Did you say Mother Theresa?

Enough of this foolishness. I see I am over 200 words. Woohoo! If I can only think of a headline, it’s wine o’clock for me.

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Whine O’Clock

Posted on August 31, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Yes, it is Lame Post Friday, and it should surprise no one that I got nuthin’.

I was about to say I’ve had a bear of a week, but I seem to remember last week being rather bearish as well (ooh, look at that, according to my computer “bearish” is so a word; I thought I had just now made it up). Earlier today I told a co-worker I was in a terrible mood, because all I could think about was things that piss me off. She advised me to think about something else.

“What should I think about?”

“3:30 this afternoon.” That’s our quitting time. “Wine-thirty.”

“It’s whine-thirty all day long for me,” I admitted. “Because all I do is whine.”

See, you get the pun right away when you write it down.

I thought it was a kind of a preemptive strike on my part (I’ll be damned, according to my computer pre-emptive is not hyphenated) to admit that I was whining. You know how upsetting it can be when all you want to do is relieve your feelings by expressing your discontent and you get told to stop whining. Actually, I had taken care to go to the co-worker that doesn’t usually say that. You have to be careful who you whine to. Uh, I mean express your discontent.

I was going to go into some half-baked philosophy about whining and perspective, but I believe I have covered it before. I would look back, find the post (or posts, I know I repeat myself sometimes), but hey, it’s Friday and I’m one of those lucky bastards who have a three day weekend. I’m thinking it’s beer o’clock.

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Wrist to Lame Forehead

Posted on August 24, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Today at work, I had my whole blog post written in my head. Well, most of it. I figured I’d come up with a few other sentences once I started writing. Then I went on break, I opened my notebook, and… nothing.

I bet you knew that was going to happen. I can just hear one of those smug artsy fartsy types saying, “Of COURSE nothing happened! You can’t write something in your head before you sit down to write it. You have to be SPONTANEOUS!” Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes thinking about something before I write it works very well.

But speaking of being spontaneous, I hadn’t planned to write anything like that second paragraph. I had rather hoped I could segue back into what I had written in my head this morning (I think it’s still there). I am dreadfully sorry to be doing yet another post about Why I Can’t Write a Post, but here it is.

Still, on Lame Post Friday, there are worse things to write a post about. I’m going to count that as half-baked philosophy (regular readers will remember that Lame Post Friday is for random observations and half-baked philosophy) (they will also remember that I feel I have to say that almost every time).

What is this, Wrist to Forehead Friday? Say it ain’t so!

I had meant, as a matter of fact, to write a pedestrian post full of random observations made on the walk Tabby and I took last night. Unfortunately I did not observe much. Mostly I observed the sky looking more and more threatening till it finally rained on us. Oh, and I observed the bag I was carrying blow around like a wrinkly, misshapen balloon. I thought it looked a little foolish, but nobody will ever ding you for carrying around a plastic bag when you are walking a dog, however much it fills with air and whips around.

Ooh, look, over 300 words. Now to come up with a dramatic conclusion that brings all this nonsense together, so I can feel like a real writer. Then again, maybe I will just have to feel like something else tonight.

At least I’m not one of those artsy-fartsy types.

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Making with the Random Observations

Posted on August 17, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Well, I’m afraid it is another Lame Post Friday and it probably surprises nobody, least of all myself, that I got nuthin’. In my defense, I was working on my novel. And talking to my husband on my cell phone. And helping my co-worker with the crossword puzzle. Yes, the same lame excuses as last time.

As I sat at work and it was quite clear to me that this would indeed be a Lame Post Friday, I thought I could at least come up with some random observations. I feel that Lame Post Friday has been heavy on half-baked philosophy lately. In fact, it has been spilling out onto other days. So I thought I could leaven the mix with random observations.

I sat at my machine at work and observed… Well, you see, I look out the window, across a very short expanse of grass and weeds, onto a brick wall. The bricks are old. There is some grey foundation beneath the bricks. There are windows, some open, one hanging brokenly. I don’t believe they are ever shut.

How boring is that? Oh, I did notice one thing on my drive home. Two young kids on scooters, a girl maybe nine and a boy maybe four (not that I’m good at guessing ages). They were followed by a lady, presumably the mother, walking a very cute dog — it may have been part pug or maybe bulldog. The dog pulled eagerly on his leash. I think he wanted to be up there with the kids. At least, I don’t know if it was a boy or a girl dog. I use “he” and “his” in a gender neutral sense. I don’t like to call a dog “it.”

I suppose I could come up with some half-baked philosophy on “he/she/it,” but today is random observation day. Also, my word count is up to 300. Plenty enough for a Friday! Have a good weekend, everybody!

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Maybe More Coffee Would Help

Posted on August 3, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

So there I was at work. I had written a page on my novel before my shift began. You may remember, that novel that keeps me from writing blog posts. I was determined not to let that happen today, Lame Post Friday or not.

I was going to think about my blog post all morning till I came up with something. It’s worked before. In any case, I had reached the end of a scene in my novel and had no idea where to go next. The novel is at that stage. I’m sort of limping along till I get to the top of the next hill, to speak metaphorically.

I began to work and think (my job is the sort where you can multi-task like that) (although in general I am no fan of multi-tasking). I was drinking coffee (no, that does NOT count as another task. Sheesh!). That was it! I would write about coffee!

I began to think about all the good things I could say about coffee. I even had a few good memories to share. Oh dear, would that make it more suitable for Middle-aged Musings Monday? Well, that would be OK. I could write it today and be ahead for Monday. I could hardly wait for the nine o’clock break to write that blog post.

The break buzzer rang. I sat down and took out my notebook. And began to write a whole new scene in my novel where the characters were sitting around drinking coffee. I worked on that scene for the rest of break and most of lunch!

So once again, the novel wins, and I write a post on Why I Can’t Write a Post. I don’t think that’s so bad for a Lame Post Friday. We’ll see what the weekend brings.

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