Category Archives: Lame Post Friday

Post Christmas Lame

Posted on December 28, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Did I already use that title? I can’t seem to find it, but I’m too lazy to really search my previously published posts. Or should I say I’m too lame?

So was anybody hoping I would NOT have Lame Post Friday this week? In my defense, I am completely in vacation mode. All I want to do is, you know, nothing.

One topic I still have waiting in the wings is local stores I hit for Christmas shopping. Unfortunately, there are still a few family members who have not yet received their Christmas gifts. They MIGHT read my blog and they MIGHT be clever enough to say, “Ah-HAH! She’s getting me …!” Or they may get their hopes up thinking I got them something totally other than what I got them. I can’t take the pressure! (That last sentence is said with wrist to forehead, of course.)

I can briefly mention that I went to Heidelberg Bakery in Herkimer, NY on Christmas Eve to purchase bread for Christmas dinner. Yum! I’ve given them a shout-out before.

Just two small problems: the actual visit was not particularly eventful. And, well, my sister had fixed such a magnificent feast that none of us remembered to eat the bread.

Oh dear, I can’t put that in my blog! The Heidelberg people will never forgive me! We ate some of the bread the next day. I ate some today and expect to eat more with supper. It is very yummy bread.

Well, this post just continues to degenerate. What can I say? It looks as if my post-Christmas letdown is kicking in. It may be all downhill till 2014. I hope at least somebody stays tuned.

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Friday Night Lame

Posted on December 21, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

So I have NOT written my blog post yet at 6:16 on this Lame Post Friday evening.

6:16 by the clock on my stove. I am perched on a stool, watching sausage, pepper and onion cook in a cast iron frying pan. I dare not leave the room. I must be here to stir at need.

Steven is due home in a short time. At least, I’m sure it will be longer than I want it to be. Retail employees sometimes find difficulties in leaving on time. No matter, it seems dinner will not be ready precisely as planned.

It is fortunate that I only require a lame post of myself today. I tried, tried, tried to write something at work. Nothing doing. Blame it on the season? Cop to it as an occupational hazard? Demand credit for At Least Trying? In any case, I crave your indulgence (isn’t that an elegant phrase? I rather enjoyed it).

As usual, I hope for at least one Mohawk Valley adventure this weekend. Or I may sit on my butt watching Christmas movies and crocheting frantically. Whatever happens, I will report back. Happy Friday, everybody.

Full disclosure: As I typed in that it was 6:16 and I was perched on a stool, stirring, it was in fact, closer to 6:40 and I was slouched in an office chair, typing. I knew that would happen. It just felt weird. Me and my strange obsession with accuracy.

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Put Another Lame on the Fire

Posted on December 14, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Um, you guys get that, right? You know, like “put another log on the fire”? Oh well, one does one’s poor best.

So it is Lame Post Friday and I am even more lame than usual. And I’m working under a deadline, because World’s Dumbest comes on at six (it’s 5:46 as I type this), and I would really like a glass of wine. However, don’t drink and type (oh, like one glass of wine would make me substantially more lame than I am the rest of the time!).

All day at work today, I thought about writing (while still getting my work done, OF COURSE). I alternately pondered what to write on my blog and where to go next on my novel. I came to no conclusions on either one. I’m in a tighter corner on the novel, though. One character has another by the scruff of the neck, and I have no idea who it is. That is, the one being held by the hoodie. I know who’s doing the holding.

Oh dear, now I’ve said too much. I try not to talk too much about the novel I’m working on. It never helps, and it only makes me look more foolish when I don’t finish that novel. Of course, silence does not come naturally to me (see Monday’s post) (you’ll have to arrow back; I’m on the acer, and I don’t know how to make a link)(oh, I’ll save you the trouble if you missed it, it was just about how much I talk, which is a lot).

Where was I? Ah yes, having said too much. Luckily, I see my word count is now over 250, a respectable length for me. On with the weekend! I even have time to pour the wine before I tune into TruTV.

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Timing Is Everything

Posted on December 7, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

This is unusual. I just sat here for

Oh dear. I was about to write “at least five minutes,” when I looked at my watch and knew that it had only been three minutes. “Almost five minutes”? Lie and say that it was five minutes? We call that literary license in this business. Sometimes we call it fiction.

At any rate, I was paralyzed. Then I had to laugh at myself for being paralyzed. And naturally I started to write about it. Well, it got the pen moving at any rate.

Perhaps for the rest of the post I could ponder my obsession with time. I may have mentioned it before, in which case, sorry for repeating myself. A roommate in the army noticed my obsession. She pointed out that I knew it took seven minutes to walk to the chow hall. A “normal” person, I suppose, would say “five” or “ten” or even “five-ten.”

I’m sorry to be didactic (not real sorry, because, you know, go with your strengths), but five minutes and ten minutes are two different lengths of time. These things are important when one dare not be as much as .1 (yes, I said point one) seconds late for formation. And they are important for time-obsessed neurotics like me.

A junior high health teacher (or was it high school?) (was it even Health?) (what is with this accuracy obsession?) said we all have our little neuroses. Sometimes we call it a quirk or a Thing or a pet peeve (no, I am not looking in a thesaurus as I write this).

My main Thing right now (ooh, I just flashed on Thing One and Thing Two from The Cat in the Hat) is that I must publish a blog post every day, no matter how foolish. This has been today’s. I hope you enjoyed it.

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To the Play!

Posted on November 16, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

There I was at work (on a break, that is), writing my Friday Lame Post, and I thought it was going rather well. Then I realized I had written something extremely similar already. I was mortified.

And then I couldn’t really think of anything better to write, because I got a headache. Not a bad one, but I didn’t like it. So instead of thinking about my blog, I plotted how I could get out of going to the play at Ilion Little Theatre, which Steven and I had planned to attend. We can’t go on Saturday, because we have been invited to a party. We will probably be too tired on Sunday.

At the end of the day, I told my co-worker (who had earlier that day heard my weekend plans) that I would go to the play on Sunday.

“You will not. You’ll be too hungover from the party. You won’t go see that play at all!” He felt quite confident in his prediction.

Long story short (I know: too late): here I sit, showered, dressed and ready to go. Play tonight. Party tomorrow. Blog post in between.

Short post for now.

Hope you all enjoy your weekend.

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Beyond Lame

Posted on November 2, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

It is a rare day when I can’t even seem to write a post about Why I Can’t Write a Post Today. Then again, it is Lame Post Friday. How lame is it to not even be able to write a lame post?

In my defense… oh, never mind my defense. It’s just more kvetching about my ill health. What in the world is the matter with me anyways? All I do is complain. Then again, the more you complain, the longer God lets you live, according to an older sister of mine.

That is pretty much what I wrote at work. Then I worked on my novel, so at to ease my guilt, and wrote a letter, because I like to write a letter. My usual method while at work is to think about my blog post while working then write it on a break. I had other things to think about today. I’m going wine tasting with the girls tomorrow. That is, the girls in my family. I could go into some half-baked philosophy about how hanging out with your family is both more and less pressure than hanging out with friends, but quite frankly, I’m afraid some of my family might read this. Probably they won’t, but you never know.

In the meantime, my headache is back, so to avoid more tiresome kvetching, I will end this post. Just barely over 200 words. I say it’ll do.

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Curse You, Christopher Lee!

Posted on October 26, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I wrote that headline in the midst of writing this post, and I like it so much I’m going to use it, even though it is not really indicative of the post as a whole. Let’s just say we’re having a non-sequitur moment.

Well, here I am on Lame Post Friday, perched on a stool in my kitchen, writing in a notebook (the spiral-bound paper kind, not a computer) while onions cook and garlic breathes.

While at work today (on breaks, as you know), I worked on my novel and on a blog post which is becoming increasingly unwieldy. It is about a Christopher Lee horror movie. I do love writing about movies, but I always seem to have so much to say. I’ve been working on this one all week. I keep turning a page to work on something else, then going back to the post and leap-frogging to the next clean page. I’m getting a little confused.

And a little embarrassed. Earlier this week, I wrote about how I could not write a particular post, then went back the next day and wrote that post. Now it seems I am doing the same thing with Christopher Lee.

Oh well, these are the choices I make. I like to post every day and only seem able to accomplish this end with an increasing number of very foolish posts. As always, I strive for improvement. This week I believe I had… (counting in my head; too impatient to actually go back and check) five out of six foolish posts so far. What a wretched record! I have no place to go but up.

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Lame Till Proven Innocent

Posted on October 19, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Almost every time I go to write the year, I start to write a different year from what it really is.

That is the only random observation I have so far on this Lame Post Friday.

I always feel a little guilty having a Lame Post Friday right after a Non-Sequitur Thursday. Then again, at least I didn’t use the Wuss-Out Wednesday post I started to write two days ago. What did I post on Wednesday? I’ll have to look it up before I publish this. If I publish this.

That was as far as I wrote at work. Since that time, I have come up with a couple more random observations. If I choose between two things to do, I am sure to feel guilty about whichever one I didn’t pick. That is the personal one. The environmental one is: while I see several houses nicely decorated for Halloween, nobody seems to have really gone overboard. I record this observation with some regret, because I love Halloween.

Well, this is pretty thin, even for a Friday Lame Post (does that count as another observation?). However, I will publish it anyways, because I have to get out the door soon for a Mohawk Valley adventure. Yes, the thing I picked to do that now I feel guilty about not picking the other thing. However, in my defense, I walked my dog and I am making my blog post (such as it is). Therefore, I only have one thing to feel guilty about not doing.

In case you want to know, the thing I feel guilty about missing is exercising at Curves. Someone might argue that I can also feel guilty about not going running, but, really, that was never on the roster for today. However, my membership at Curves is over as of next week. Therefore, soon I will either be running for feeling guilty about it. You’ll read it here first (at least, I hope somebody will still be reading).

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It’s a Non-Sequitur, It’s a Memory, NO, It’s Lame Post Friday!

Posted on October 12, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Full Disclosure: I’m writing blog posts ahead this week. We’re going away for the weekend, and I don’t want to worry about getting up extra early on Friday or finding a computer on Saturday (the only full day we’ll be gone) (oh dear, I hope nobody made a note of that and intends to rob my house) (well, if you do, please clean the bathroom while you’re there, it’s disgusting) (and anybody that just said “TMI” to that last bit, Shut up! You know I hate that expression!).

Where was I? Ah, yes, this will be either Non-Sequitur Thursday or Lame Post Friday. I’ll decide when I type it into the computer. As you may have guessed, this post is a silly one.

When I registered at the Superhero Sprint on Saturday, they gave me an itty bitty box of candy, maybe an inch long, half-inch wide, quarter-inch deep. It had the Incredible Hulk on the outside and said it contained Candy Sticks.

I put the box in my purse and did not think about it again till the other day at work, when I happened to notice it. Now, I like to say I don’t see the point of candy that isn’t chocolate. That is not really accurate, of course, but I’m sure chocolate lovers see my point. Furthermore, I am trying to cut down on sweets (for me that is easier than cutting back on salty treats and deep-fried yumminess). I asked my friend Karen if she wanted them.

“What are they?”

“I know know; it says Candy Sticks. I thought it might be good if you needed that little sugar boost.” For my own sugar boost needs, I generally rely on hot chocolate out of the machine or substitute caffeine.

Pause for PSA: Kids! Don’t use artificial stimulants!

Back to the blog: Karen opened up the box and we peeked at the candy sticks.

“Why, those are candy cigarettes,” I exclaimed. “Remember candy cigarettes?” Not being worried if she dated herself in front of me, Karen nodded.

They weren’t exactly candy cigarettes, because they didn’t have the red food coloring tip (probably made with red dye number whatever that caused cancer). Still, the resemblance was striking.

“Think of it,” I said. “For years, all those candy-cigarette-making-machines stood idle, because it wasn’t cool to sell candy cigarettes any more. Then somebody got the idea, ‘Hey! We’ll make candy STICKS instead!’ And all those machines got used again!”

I don’t know if Karen was similarly struck at the thought or if she just likes to laugh at my nonsense. But I thought the whole story was good enough for a silly blog post. Candy cigarettes! What a blast from the past!

Ooh, I just realized, I could save this post for Monday, when it could be a Middle-aged Memory. But, no, I think I will use it for Lame Post Friday. For one thing, I’m too tired to write up and type in yet another post.

Have a nice weekend!

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How Lame of Me

Posted on September 21, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

It is Lame Post Friday, and I am indeed lame. I did not write anything at work today (except for a paragraph or two on my novel)(in the interests of accuracy). I did not think of anything I could write about. I did not come home and run or walk so as to write about that. True, I could still do one of those, but I want to get this post written NOW.

Oh, just a brief update on my computer tribulations of Wednesday. The tablet is working now. I don’t know why or how but am not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

Ah, that gives me a lame topic to write about: another Cliche Revisited (I love to pick apart a cliche). Never look a gift horse in the mouth. Why not? If you have a horse, wouldn’t you like to know how old it is? Or if it needs dental work? The Trojan Horse should definitely have been looked in the mouth, or I guess the stomach, where the soldiers were hiding. Um, I’m not clear on if the Trojans were inside the horse or the ones who received it as a gift. And I do not care enough to look it up.

Hmmm, can’t think of another cliche to refute. How lame of me.

Well, how long does a Lame Friday Post have to be to count? Usually if I go over 200 words, I am content. Ooh, and I did. Happy Friday, everybody.

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