Category Archives: lame

Post-Thanksgiving Lame

Posted on November 26, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

Thank goodness it’s Friday and I can legitimately do a Lame Post. I am not up to anything else.

I don’t have any random obversations about Thanksgiving. And I don’t believe I did anything to celebrate the day that rates any kind of mention. Oh, Steven and I did bring Heidelberg Bread, made in Herkimer, NY, from grains grown in New York State. Of course, the hit of the day was my Uncle Tom’s pumpkin bread, baked, I believe, in his North Syracuse kitchen. So much for Thanksgiving.

I have one random observation that has been knocking around my head for a couple of weeks now. I’ll share it with you, and you can judge its lameness for yourself. I heard this credited to Nancy Reagan and a few others: A woman is like a tea bag: you never know how strong she is till you put her in hot water. I think that is kind of a dumb thing to say. I mean, take a look at a used tea bag. According to that saying, put me (a woman) in some hot water, I’ll end up soggy, squished up and useless, but the water will taste pretty good. Some people just should not attempt metaphor.

And that’s all I got. Pretty sad for a holiday weekend I actually have off. But give me a minute, I’ll try to come up with something else… Maybe I could think of a better comparison for a woman. A woman is like a bottle of wine. If she ‘s good quality, she’ll get better with age. Otherwise, she’ll turn to vinegar, which you can still use to make salad dressing.

I don’t know who originally said No life is wasted; you can always stand as a bad example. I take great comfort in that thought. So I feel that this blog post is not wasted. It can stand as a bad example. And I will try to do something Mohawk Valley-ish by the end of today, so I can have a better post for tomorrow.

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Pre-Thanksgiving Lame

Posted on November 24, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

Either I’m tired of writing about our Saturday adventures, or I’m in Friday mode.

Actually, I’m fortunate to be in any mode at all other than a time warp. For me it is Friday, Thursday and Wednesday. With a little bit of post-birthday let-down thrown in (oh, I like writing these lame posts; so self-indulgent).

Friday, obviously, because I have tomorrow off (and the long weekend — woohoo — but more about that later); Thursday, because it is payday; and Wednesday, because of the crossword puzzle in the newspaper. See, there are a couple of fellows at my work who do the crossword puzzle in the Utica OD on break. Sometimes I butt in and help them. The puzzles get more difficult as the week wears on, so some weeks they don’t even need my help before Friday (and, yes, some days I am no help at all anyways). It is rather a joy on Friday to help with a challenging puzzle at lunch and have to continue during the two o’clock break. Such a triumph when we finish it.

I’d like to add a thought about my delightful four day weekend. Some people would tell me to quit gloating, because they have to work. To those people I would explain, with a nod to S.J. Perelman, shut up. (Actually, I rarely tell anybody to shut up, because I don’t like being told that myself. But it is an old S.J. Perelman line: “‘Shut up,’ the policeman explained.”)

I worked all weekends when I had a retail job, and many holidays when I was in the army. And, yes, it kind of sucked hearing the 9 to 5ers gloat on a Friday (or that November Wednesday) (or even Tuesday). But I really didn’t blame them. And I hope nobody blames me.

And while I’m rattling on (lame post, after all), I’m sure there are people who work, and/or have worked, longer, crappier and more hours than me. Sorry, guys. There are people who work way less than me, or even not at all (you know who you are). I can’t control these things!

I guess I say all this to cover my butt. To obviate the need for anybody to jump in and say, “Well I work blah blah so shut up!” (in that squeaky tone of voice people use when imitating a generic annoying person). And maybe I feel a little guilty for being so gleeful about my imminent four day weekend, and I don’t want to. I guess all I can say is, don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. And maybe I’ll get lame again when it’s really Friday. Happy Thanksgiving!

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Blog, Blog, Blog

Posted on November 19, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

It’s back by popular demand (mine): Lame Post Friday!

I guess many of my posts lately have been fairly random. Too much overtime to allow for real Mohawk Valley adventures. But, as I often point out, I’m trying to post every day, so I reserve the right to be a little self indulgent.

Blogging is a pretty self-indulgent medium anyways. Nobody asks us to blog (actually, I encouraged one sister to start a blog, but she hasn’t yet). We just think if we put our words out there, somebody will like to read it. Sometimes we’re right. And I think some of us are inspired by stories of people who started with a blog and ended with a book deal. Hey, it could happen to us (I buy lottery tickets, too).

I’m sure there are purists out there who disapprove of blogging. After all, we’re not paying our dues. We’re not professionals. We didn’t get a dozen or a thousand rejection slips before we published our blog. And I believe there are some slimy blogs out there. Bloggers who tout their opinions as fact or offer as irrefutable fact something they just now made up. Or stole from another slimy blog. When commentators disparagingly refer to the blogosphere going crazy about this or that, I believe that is what they are referring to.

Of course, there are other kinds of blogs that do not call for disparagement. Some people blog about trips abroad or new babies or loved ones dealing with terrible health crises. Some people blog about their passion or hobby or area of expertise. Some people blog about their personal events or thoughts, because they think it’s fun or they want to share.

In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think: don’t be so hard on blogs! So what if blogs are sometimes a little self indulgent? If some of us want to put our words out there, let us. Read us or don’t. Oh, hell, I guess I don’t even care if you want to criticize me or make fun of me. My family and friends have been doing it for years.

Well, that was an interesting stream of consciousness, or train of thought, or whatever if was. To me, anyways. I feel kind of happy that Lame Post Friday is back.

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Lame Post Friday After All

Posted on November 12, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

Thursday I was determined to do something, anything Mohawk Valleyish for my blog. I believe my readers (both of them) do not mind my silly meanderings and lame posts. I even changed my headline to “my life in the Mohawk Valley” as the blog becomes more and more a personal journal. And yet. And yet.

I have declared myself Mohawk Valley Girl. Let’s hear about the Mohawk Valley!

Unfortunately, I’m coming down with a Mohawk Valley cold. The only place I wanted to go after work was home and to bed. I went to Hannaford first to get some fresh lemon to put in my tea. Very good when you have a cold.

It would be nice to report that the lemon came from a local farm. I imagine lemons don’t grow well in the climate. I passed the display of Heidelberg Bread. That’s local, made right here in Herkimer, but in fact I believe I have a loaf of Heidelberg Bread in the freezer. And anyways, I don’t eat too much bread. I’m on the South Beach Diet.

I picked up a few other things I needed, none local (sorry, Mohawk Valley), and hurried home. When I made my tea and reached for the honey, I remembered it was from a local producer: Finster’s of Frankfort, NY. I put the tea in my mug from Dyn’s Cider Mill of Richfield Springs. I felt it was the least I could do.

I went to bed early in hopes of a rapid recovery. It was not until this morning I realized: the salt potatoes I had purchased are a treat unique to Central New York. They were just talking about them on Your Hometown on YNN recently. It was a segment on a Salt Museum near Syracuse I intend to visit one day (preview of coming attractions). Not quite the Mohawk Valley, but close enough.

I am planning, recovered or not, a real Mohawk Valley adventure tonight. In the meantime, I guess this was Lame Post Friday after all.

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The Overtime Blues

Posted on November 11, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

Yesterday I ended my post with promise of exciting things to come. Well, keep waiting. Today is my Lame Post of the Week.

I know, I designated Friday as the day for lame posts (and I admit that many of my posts not so designated, may be so considered, but let’s not go there). That was when Friday meant something to me. Before I came down with the Overtime Blues.

The Overtime Blues, as blues go, is not bad disease to have. Overtime pay is sweet. And I like my job well enough that it is not all that burdensome to be there. And my hubby is usually working weekends as well. So you see.

But I am TIRED! I don’t seem to get used to getting up at 3:30 a.m. I usually accomplish it by telling myself, “It’s supposed to suck. Get up anyways.” Then I apply coffee.

This weekend I am additionally suffering from the Missing Wine Tasting Blues. Certain female relatives of mine are touring the Finger Lakes on Saturday. I told one sister I probably couldn’t make it, and they all seem to have accepted it with an unflattering good grace. That might have something to do with the fact that I mentioned how loud and obnoxious things tend to get on these wine tasting trips (we’ve gone on a few). I admit that I am sometimes the loudest and most obnoxious. But I guess nobody likes to hear somebody else call them that. So I hope the girls in my family aren’t mad at me. That would make for a jolly Thanksgiving.

I wrote the preceding paragraph while at work earlier. My blues were at their worst, and I was picturing everybody on the wine tasting trip saying, “Oh thank God Cindy isn’t here! It’s much more fun without Cindy!” In fact, I don’t believe they are thinking about me at all. The last I knew they were all on Facebook arguing over with of them was the main troublemaker (each pointing at another but secretly craving the title). So I’m getting over my Missing the Wine Tasting Blues.

Instead, my Overtime Blues seem to be giving way to the Getting My Husband’s Cold Blues. So my lame post ends with me tottering down to the kitchen to make some herbal tea with lemon and honey. I hope to recover sufficiently for a Mohawk Valley adventure tomorrow.

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I Digress

Posted on October 30, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

I am lightheaded. I don’t know why: I have not taken any sinus medication since… Thursday? I forget (an effect of the medication? Or my current lightheadedness?). And yet a voice in my head keeps repeating, “But my blog! My blog!”

I have not gone running in two or three weeks (a glance at my running journal would tell me, but that’s downstairs). (My running journal is a journal only by the most generous definition of the word. It is a spiral bound book I bought at Micheal’s for $1, and when I run Steven or I make a note of how long I ran, sometimes including hills climbed and dogs petted.) (Actually, I think it is quite appropriate, considering my runs are actually running only by the most generous definition of the term.) (But I digress.)

So I want to start running again, but I have not even been walking much. So I tried to get in a couple of walks this weekend. Saturday Tabby and I went for two 20-minute walks. It felt very good. And a little cold. We did not encounter anything blogworthy.

Today (Sunday) we went for an almost half hour walk. It was even colder, but the sun was bright. I had on my prescription sunglasses (a wonderful device) but was soon wishing I had also worn a hat. That little line between my forehead and the top of my glasses was blinding me. Too bad I don’t have a Frankenstein-style overhanging brow. That would be practical and seasonal. I normally would have worn my crazy old lady hat with its wide brim, but I had on a knitted headband against the cold. I put my hood up and tried to pull it forward with indifferent success. I crossed the street to enjoy some shade. It is colder in the shade, but I have come to accept that you can’t have everything. Tabby did her business and I discovered that it is not too cold for doggie poop to stink. That’s one good thing about when there’s snow on the ground: you scoop a little up with the poop and it doesn’t stink so bad.

It was after I got home from the walk that my lightheadedness hit me. Seriously, I went to go up the stairs and instead laid down on the landing for about ten minutes. Must be it’s not too cold for the pollens to play havoc with my sinuses. And it is damn hard to write a coherent blog post with your head spinning.

A kind friend wrote me a comment on Lame Post Friday, saying why didn’t I feel free to write what I felt like writing. Since I’m in the Mohawk Valley, anything I write is technically germane. I guess I’ve invoked that rule today. My walks were taken in the Mohawk Valley. When I manage to run again, it will be in the Mohawk Valley. You know what, I’ll bet it’s Mohawk Valley pollens that are making me so lightheaded. So there.

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Random Observations

Posted on October 29, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

On Thursday I thought, “I don’t have to do anything Mohawk Valley-ish tonight: tomorrow is Lame Post Friday!” Today (Friday), I realize that, lame or not, I still have to actually write something. What the blankety-blank am I going to find to talk about?

I’m eating an egg and olive sandwich. I blogged about making egg and olive and how it turned out soupy. I fixed it by adding two more eggs, and now it’s pretty good.

Something I always wonder about is why they say you can’t have your cake and eat it too. When someone says, “Have some cake,” don’t they expect you to eat it? I may have mentioned this before. If so, sorry for repeating myself.

The Ilion Farmer’s Market is NOT closing for the season but runs all winter long. It is Friday and Saturday at Clapsaddle Farm on Otsego Street. I want to go there today and buy some pickles. I hope they have the garlic kind.

The sun seems to be shining for the first time in a few days. I hope it refrains from raining this evening, so I can take my dog for a walk.

And there’s another odd expression: “The sun is trying to peek out.” The sun does not really move much; we all know the earth rotates to create the appearance of sunrise and sunset. The clouds move in front of the sun. The sun has very little to do with it. In fact, I believe about a million miles separate the clouds from the sun. I would be very surprised to find out the sun considers the matter at all.

I have no half baked philosophy for today. It’s kind of too bad, because my usual Happy Friday Mood has eluded me for much of the day. I think some philosophy may have helped. After all, as the great Donald Westlake once said, “My philosophy is you have to be philosophical about it.”

And there’s your Friday post. See ya Saturday.

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Lame S****, Different Day

Posted on October 23, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

For those of you who missed Lame Post Friday as much as I did, here is some rather foolish commentary about my ride home Thursday.

When I left work on Thursday, I was on a mission to procure a special snack for my husband, Steven, and I to share when he came home for his dinner break at 5:30ish. I though I might go to Melrose Market in Frankfort and see if they had anything.

I work at a certain factory in Ilion. Now, there are a few different ways to get from Ilion to Herkimer or Ilion to Frankfort, as the case may be. The most direct route to my house is out State Route 5. That is a very busy route between 3:30 and 4, so I usually go through Mohawk. It’s kind of fascinating to me how Herkimer, Mohawk, Ilion and Frankfort kind of run into each other. You can go on one of two highways — State Route 5 or Route 5S (east or west) — or you can go through the villages. It’s fun. Or am I too easily amused?

And here’s a related question, why is there a State Route 5 and a Route 5S so close together? You can’t run out of numbers. That is a recurring theme around here. For example, Ilion has a Second Street and a Second Avenue. I can understand being just too tired to think up another street name. But numbers are infinite, and we all know the order they go in. Just move on to the next number! How hard can it be? Apparently too. If anybody out there knows the very logical, understandable reason the streets are thus named, I would be interested to hear it. But I will not feel the least bit chastened, and I will not cease to poke fun.

Now then, where was I? Ah yes, driving around the block in Ilion. I didn’t quite explain that, did I? I took a right rather than a left out of the factory parking lot when I really wanted to go left. Just go around the block, right? How hard could it be? Well, Ilion is a little like Rome: screwy. None of the streets are quite parallel, and nothing comes out where you think it ought to. “Going around the block” in this case necessitates two right turns, one left, another right, another left, and two more rights. On the brighter side, this brings you out right next to the liquor store. I stopped and got a bottle of Pinot Noir. Not Vampire Pinot Noir, which would have been seasonal, because they didn’t have any. Still, Noir is dark. But I digress.

I drove through Ilion into Frankfort, not needing to go on one of the highways. I passed a sign that said “Saranac Tasting 4 to 7.” It was 3:55, which was just as well, because I was on a time budget. Unfortunately, when I got to Frankfort, there was not a parking space to be had anywhere near Melrose Market. I love that grocery store, but the parking situation leaves something to be desired. I drove past and got onto State Route 5. From here I could go back to Ilion and try again. This would bring me near that Saranac tasting at four. I was tempted, but like I said, on a time budget. I opted to drive into Herkimer and my old stand by, Hannaford. From there, I went home and fixed roll-ups, as described in yesterday’s post.

I hope this satisfies everybody’s need for my weekly silliness quotient. It certainly satisfied mine.

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Lame Post Saturday?

Posted on October 15, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

I had really meant to do something blogworthy yesterday. If nothing else, I fully intended to run this morning, which is always good for a few paragraphs. Well, anybody who read my lame post yesterday (which I don’t recommend) would know I was prostrated by a sinus headache. I barely made my post at all. I woke up this morning headache free. The relief of it! Anybody who suffers debilitating headaches knows what I mean. Anybody who does not suffer bad headaches and thinks I am being a big baby (always a possibility, I admit), just feel grateful you didn’t have my pain and don’t judge.

Now there’s some half baked philosophy I could have gotten into for Lame Post Friday: don’t judge. Did you ever notice that other people’s complaints often seem less complain-worthy than our own? I believe some people are drama queens or kings (no gender based stereotypes for Mohawk Valley Girl). “She doesn’t just get get a headache, she gets a migraine.” Obviously some people do get migraines, and some people like to make a brain tumor out of a stiff neck. How can I tell which is which? Sometimes I can’t. After my pain yesterday, I feel I will be more sympathetic the next time somebody else wants to whine and cry.

Here’s a random observation: This morning when I opened the front door to look for the newspaper (not there yet, as usual), I paused to admire Steven’s Halloween decorations. He hung orange and purple lights including some lit up ghosts and eyeballs. Specialist Spaz, one of my army BDUs we stuff every year, has a lit-up pumpkin for a head. Steven also put his chair on top of a box so he is taller and more visible to passers by. Um, I mean Spc. Spaz’s chair, not Steven’s, although I think my husband would make a handsome Halloween decoration. I myself put some dead flowers from when we dismantled my container garden into the flower box. It only remains for me to refurbish Broomhead and put him out. I think a dummy named Broomhead needs no explanation. Am I right?

So I guess this is my Saturday post: the half baked philosophy and random observations I usually reserve for Friday. Let’s call Friday a sick day, and we’ll hope for something more scintillating on Sunday.

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A Really Lame Friday Post

Posted on October 15, 2011 by mohawkvalleygirl

It is not easy to write even a lame blog post when you have crashed and burned. Yes, I have crashed and burned.

And not an exciting crash and burn with a loud noise on impact and flames leaping in the air. Not even smouldering embers, which would at least have a certain sexy implication. More like a rapid but silent descent down a steep, slippery slope (ooh, alliteration) followed by an odd stench. Soggy, useless ashes, that’s me. Or burned plastic, edges curled, all discolored. Boy, I love metaphor.

Well, that was all I had written in my head before I sat down this morning to write today’s post. Not a bad start, if you like that sort of thing. I would continue writing on the next break and perhaps come up with some random observations or half-baked philosophy. No such luck.

I spent my Friday trying to work around The Worst Headache. I did not write on my breaks. I sat with my head in my hands on my breaks. I guess it was a Mohawk Valley themed headache, because I believe it was caused by my fall sinuses. I do love fall, but fall does not love me.

Now is the time when I usually type in what I wrote, add, edit, etc., and I got nothin’. And not Plenty o’ Nothin’ like in Porgy N Bess. Just big goose egg for ideas. Sorry. My headache is subsiding, probably due to the coffee I’m drinking that may keep me up all night. That’s the price I pay. The price you pay is you had to read another lame Friday blog post. At least it was short! Have a good weekend.

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