Tag Archives: lame post

Shockingly Lame

Posted on June 27, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I already used the title “Better Lame than Never,”  back in2011.  That is too bad, because it is almost 9 p.m. and I have not yet made my blog post for today.  It shall be lame.  It shall be late.  Shall I not make a blog post?  NEVER!

My husband and I are sitting on our deck.  Steven is attempting to turn on our party lights by plugging them in.  This is problematic, because the plug has a  cover that does not open all the way.  I understand that it is good to have a cover for outdoor lights.  There are things like rain and snow outdoors, after all.  But why put a cover on it that does not open all the way?  For heavens’ sake, just put a full hinge on it!

I feel  I must exercise caution in this, because of a thing that happened to me many years ago.  I was in junior high.  My family had a pop-up camper that my dad kept set up in the backyard most of the summer.  My sisters and I used it for sleepovers.  On this particular night, my friend Iris and I were sleeping there.

To turn on the lights, you had to plug them in.  It was quite dark by the time Iris and I made our way to the camper.  I found the cord.  I found where to plug it in.  I guided it carefully with one finger…

I screamed very loudly.

I recall having no control but being forced to make a very loud scream. I got  the light plugged in and learned a valuable lesson about completing a circuit.

Tonight, Steven got the string on party lights turned on with no physical pain other than whatever was occasioned by crouching down for an annoying length of time.

And that is the advantage of middle age over adolescence.

 

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By the Way, I Didn’t Run Either

Posted on June 20, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

This is Writer’s Blank.  I cannot think of a thing to say beyond lamenting the fact that I cannot think of a thing to say.

Do I really intend to post ANOTHER entry about Not Writing?  Oh, you knew I was going to get around to it sooner or later. My actual plan today is to write this right now so at least I am writing something, then put it in my Save Draft section for use in an emergency.  Of course, I have tried this plan before only to publish it right away, because I did not have anything else.

I wrote the above last September, never finished it, never put it in Save Drafts.  I  wish to heaven I had, because I’ve got a busy weekend ahead and no blog posts in sight.

At least, I wrote a post earlier this week and I had another Mohawk Valley adventure last night.  Additionally, I plan to go running after work, which is usually good for a few hundred words.  Moreover, it is Lame Post Friday.  There is no need whatsoever to stress about what to write for my blog post.  By my own self-imposed rules, I am off the proverbial hook (remember that:  if you ever want to use a cliche, just insert the word “proverbial” and you’re being self-aware and self-deprecating.  Maybe even post-ironic, my favorite).

Full disclosure: I’m not even having Writer’s Blank today.  I wrote another scene in my novel which actually — dare I hope? — advanced the plot.  But you know how it is, you get to the end of a scene and you’re done, unless you can think of another scene, which I could not.

Further disclosure:  My weekend got a little less stressed after I wrote the fourth paragraph when Saturday overtime got cancelled.  I would even have time to think of a real, non-lame Friday post, if I felt so inclined.

Obviously I do not.  Now I’m only sitting here trying to think of a good Lame headline.  So far nothing is coming.

 

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Lame Wrist to Forehead Saturday?

Posted on June 7, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I am having yet another very bad Saturday, as I am plagued with yet another headache.  Yes, I am keeping track of my headaches in a little notebook.  When I feel I have gathered enough data, I will return to my doctor (it is actually a nurse practitioner or physician assistant or some such) and say, “Help!”  However, my purpose in making a blog post is not to complain (I know, could have fooled you), but to entertain.

 

I only said “entertain” to rhyme.  My purpose in writing a blog is the purely selfish one of wanting to write every day.  The fact that some people kind of sort of like reading it is a delightful by-product that feeds my petty ego.

 

You may have guessed that I am being a little silly today.  I feel that after my stressful week, a day of blah-blahing at the keyboard, trying to be funny might be nice.  For me anyways.  For my readers, of course you are the judge.  Since I did not do a Lame Post Friday (although some may have found yesterday’s post, as well as many others, fairly lame, but let’s not go there), I thought Lame Post Saturday would be OK.  Then I thought my bad headache and lack of productivity made a Wrist to Forehead post also eligible.  Of course now I must strive NOT to have a Wrist to Forehead post tomorrow, but we’ll see how that goes, won’t we?

 

I tried to get a few things done today.  I went for a long run including a pretty good hill this morning.  That was nice.  At least, parts of it were nice.  You know how that goes.  My run made me determined to make it to the Sneaker Store in New Hartford, NY, for new running shoes, a mission which I also accomplished (and I might write a blog post about) (preview of coming attractions).  After that, my headache felt even worse and I could do no more than come home.

 

Last week I tried to get things done despite my headache, because I had people coming over in the evening.  My headache blessedly left me by the time my guests arrived, and a good time was had by all (perhaps I should have written about that).  This week I decided to give myself a break and nurse the damn headache.  Migraine Relief, decongestant and two naps later,  I feel a little better.  A cup of coffee seems to be having a beneficial effect which this morning’s cups lacked.

 

So life is getting better.  It shall improve more when my wonderful husband Steven returns from work.  We are still getting used to the large hole left in our hearts and lives by the sad departure of our beloved dog, but we help each other.  Sorry to bring up my poor Tabby again, but I’m sure other pet owners understand.

 

Ah, now I’ve done it. I ended on a down note instead of being entertaining.  That puts the wrist back onto the forehead, doesn’t it?  Tune in tomorrow, when  Mohawk Valley Girl says, “Where the hell should I put my wrist NOW?  Don’t answer that!”

 

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Excuse Me, I’m Having a Lame Here

Posted on May 30, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I have two days left of Finish That Novel May.  Earlier I was toying with the idea of denying I ever said that.

 

“No, no, what I said was, ‘I MAY Finish That Novel.’  You misheard me.”

 

The writing took a turn for the better since yesterday.  I wrote and wrote.  Maybe if I cancelled all my plans for the weekend and wrote non-stop…   I think we all know that is not going to happen.  For one reason, I have had weekends when I had no plans at all.  I have not written non-stop.  For another reason, my plans are important and not just for me.  I have a life outside of this novel.

 

And there we have it.  Am I allowed to have a life outside of being a writer?  I’m sure there are people out there who would say (hear it in that squeaky, nyah-nyah voice we mimic people we hate in):  “If writing is important to you, you’ll write.”  And then they go on to list all the things THEY have given up to write.  Which is nice, if it is the things they HAVE given up and not the things they would have given up if, in fact, they wrote and didn’t just go around telling others how to write.

 

Oh, OK, other writers do make sacrifices of things they might like to do in order to write.  So do I. Sometimes.  Perhaps I need to sacrifice a little more.  The thing is, I have always been of the opinion that the more you experience, the more material you have to work with.  That, and when I was younger, I really wanted to LIVE.  I had spent a lot of time sitting at home reading or writing stories.  Once I got older, I got out and DID things.  I guess I kind of got in the habit of it.

 

Of course, going out and doing things is good for a writer of a daily blog.  But we’re talking about a novel today.  On the other hand, we are writing a blog post.   A Lame Friday Post.  And I declare it done.  I am going back to my life. Maybe write a little more on that novel.

 

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To My Lame Self Be True

Posted on May 9, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

One can always write something.  Yes, I have said that before.  It bears repeating.  If the project at hand really, truly cannot progress, turn the page (or turn back a few pages; my notebook is not the least bit organized) and work on something else.

 

Of course, this is tricky.  Sometimes if one perseveres in looking at the blank page, one finds one is able to progress on the project at hand after all.  Sometimes after working on something else, one never returns to the original stalled project.

 

On the other hand, sometimes projects stall for a reason.  Putting your head down and bulling your way through is not always the best way to go.  Except when it is.

 

Oh, here I am working up into that old saw, “To thine own self be true” (old saw as in ancient truism, nothing to do with those hideous movies) (yes, I KNOW some people loved those movies; let’s not get distracted on matters of taste, shall we?).

 

All of the preceding may have led some readers to deduce that Finish That Novel May is not going as well as I had hoped.  This would be an accurate deduction.  However, if one inferred that I successfully worked on another project (not just this silly blog post), that, too, would be accurate.

 

I tried to progress on the novel.  Finding that not going so well (or, indeed, going anywhere at all), I turned back a few pages and wrote some more on one of my articles for the June issue of Mohawk Valley Living magazine.  I think it’s pretty good.  I felt pretty happy with it.  So I turned  some pages forward, past the stalled novel, and wrote the first four paragraphs of this post.

 

It being Lame Post Friday, I shall feel free to publish this as my blog post.  Since I have proven to myself that I can so write (at least SOMETHING), I shall tackle the novel once again.  As always, thank you for playing.

 

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T.G.I.L.P.F.

Posted on May 2, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

You know that means Thank God It’s Lame Post Friday, right?  Otherwise, all my work has been for naught (said with my wrist on my forehead).  Not really, of course.  I just felt like being dramatic.

 

It is not just Lame Post Friday, though.  It is the first day of Finish That Novel May.  I am putting it out there in order to put myself on the spot.    I have declared to the world that I am going to finish my novel.  I have 31 days to make good on that boast.

 

Yikes.

 

I did write a few notes on the novel, and I wrote a letter to my sister in which I talked about my plans for tackling the project.  Now I must get on to the real work.  However, right now it is Lame Post Friday, my day for random observations and half-baked philosophy.

 

I did observe a nice-looking dog outside a house when I looked out the window at work today (of course, I like to think all dogs are nice).  He was a biggish brown mutt, lying comfortably on a front walk, just chilling.  Yesterday on my way home I observed a springer spaniel puppy, jumping happily on the fence to greet a passerby.  At least, I think it was a spaniel.  You know I don’t know from breeds.

 

My own dog continues to improve from last week’s malady.  We keep giving her the medicine prescribed.

 

I must plan some Mohawk Valley adventures for tomorrow.  For this reason, I shall skip the half-baked philosophy portion of Lame Post Friday, hit publish and carry on with my Friday.  Hope you’re all having a lovely beginning of the weekend.

 

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I Wouldn’t Call This Polished

Posted on April 18, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

So much for my idea of writing blog posts ahead (it worked for me before, dammit).  I do have a draft saved.  It started out to be a simple running commentary.  Then I found myself embarked upon a whole essay about writing.  I feel it was not contemptible but yet want to edit.  Edit on Lame Post Friday?  NEVER!

 

Well, no, I often edit somewhat, even when composing at the keyboard.  At least I proofread (yes, yes, sometimes I miss a typo, what’s your point?).  But I like Lame Post Friday to be more spontaneous and leisurely , but not polished and fussed over (yes, yes, I know, if it looks fussed over, you’ve fussed too much, will you go find somebody else to bother?).

 

I am not composing this at the keyboard, by the way.  I am handwriting rather messily in a spiral notebook on the table in the break area at work, prior to my shift start.  College ruled paper, ballpoint pen, black ink, if you enjoy that sort of detail.

 

I find that writing before work puts me in a happy mood.  As long as it goes well.  I ought to be in a happy mood anyways, because it is Friday.  Also , today begins another Fabulous Wine Tasting Weekend with some family members.  Good folks, good times, what’s not to like?  No doubt I’ll write a blog post about it.  In the meantime, Happy Friday, everybody!

 

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As the Laundry Turns

Posted on April 17, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

My usual plan when I’m going away for the weekend is to write blog posts ahead.  WordPress even has a handy function whereby I can set the posts to Publish at an appropriate future time.

 

You know what, I can just hear somebody carping now (or is it karping?  Carping looks too much like carpe diem, which is not the same thing):  “I thought the point of the blog was to write every day.  If you write blog posts ahead, you are not writing every day now, are you?”

 

Oh, shut up (I explain) (that’s an S.J. Perelman joke).  I’ll still write every day.  I just won’t necessarily write a blog post.  After all, this blog is not the only thing I write.  Besides, SOME readers LIKE to see a post from me every day.  I can’t let them down, can I?  Of course I could, perhaps sometimes I do, but I try not to.

 

I wrote the above when I was sitting in the laundromat Wednesday, wishing to high heaven that somebody had left a magazine lying around.  Once I found a trashy paperback in the laundromat.  That was sweet.  It was somehow a randomly found paperback was a more engrossing read than any number of books I have purchased or selected at the library.

 

No such rescue awaited me on Wednesday.  I sat there with my notebook, attempting to write my novel, a letter, my play, a blog post, ANYTHING.  It was no good.  However, I see that the silliness I did manage is over 200 words.  I call that a blog post, and quite appropriate for Non-Sequitur Thursday.  But whatever will  I do on Lame Post Friday?  Stay tuned, we’ll find out together.

 

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Lame at the End of the Tunnel

Posted on April 11, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I had hoped not to have Lame Post Friday, after my week of illness and recovery. I was feeling much better earlier today. My stomach felt NOT sick. I did NOT have a headache. Oh, life was wonderful.

Of course it did NOT last. I didn’t even make it till lunch before I started to peter out. “I ran out of oopmh before I ran out of day,” I told a co-worker. Of course, that phenomenon often happens to the working stiff, convalescent or not. One perseveres and tries to get the work done regardless. I even did some writing during my lunch break, but it was not for the blog and it was definitely not finished. Still, it felt good to write.

Um, not that I have NOT been writing. I’ve been working on a letter to a friend. I’m often writing a letter to a friend or relative. At least it is putting words on paper. Still, it doesn’t help when I have to hit Publish on something or finally go a day without making a post (NEVER! NEVER! At least, NOT TODAY!). I have been fired with ambition to write lately but, alas, the ambition has not been accompanied by inspiration or even any ideas. So I write rambling letters or type in lame blog posts.

However, I say it again, one perseveres. At least I felt good for the morning. Perhaps tomorrow I will feel better for a longer period of time. Soon, dare I hope?, I will feel better for a whole day. At least I shall try to get my blog post written before I start feeling crappy again. As always, thank you for playing.

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Not Lengthy, But Lame

Posted on April 4, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Well, I made it to Lame Post Friday. I know, I’ve been pretty lame all week. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just feel brain dead and disinclined to do anything. It is uncomfortable for me and does not make for interesting reading for you. But I shall persevere and hope you will stick with me till things get better.

Lame Post Friday is traditionally my day for random observations and half-baked philosophy. First a word about half-baked philosophy. A Facebook friend of mine (not a good friend) insists on constantly making the observation that half-baked philosophy is gooey and doughy. It’s an EXPRESSION for Gods’ sake! You don’t need to bring up a disgusting mental image. But if we must view it as a metaphor, sometimes half-baked is crunchy, as in pasta or vegetables. Sometimes it is liable to break on impact, as in pottery. Sometimes it is just cold in the middle, as in any number of things you might bake. So there.

Enough about half-baked philosophy, how about some random observations? I saw an extremely happy dog bouncing about at the end of his leash this morning. I wanted so bad to roll down my window and call, “Look at that happy dog!” Sometimes people are happy to hear you say such things, sometimes not so much. I shan’t attempt any half-baked philosophy as to why that would be so.

My favorite observations of the week was some green shoots coming up in one neighbor’s lawn and some little purple flowers in another. It IS spring! Yay!

And that is what I have for today. Lame and short. I hope you’re all having a lovely Friday.

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