Tag Archives: lame post

How I Have Missed My Turbie Twist

Posted on October 23, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I thought of that title while I was taking my shower, and I love rhyme almost as much as I love alliteration.  On the other hand, I do not want to make a whole blog post touting an “As Seen On TV” product.  Adding another hand, today is Non-Sequitur Thursday, so why not use the headline?  As the saying goes, waste not, want not.

Once again, the magic of putting fingers on keyboard is soothing me.  I may not be writing good words, but I am writing words.  That makes me feel happy.

I was feeling beyond stressed earlier today.  My sinus — or whatever it is — problems continue to plague me; work is, well, work; I have rehearsal tonight; and I am far from ready for the (wait for it) Halloweddinganniversaweenary Party this weekend.  AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!  Hmm. Primal scream therapy does not have the same effect on the screen.

I know, I know, what a big fat baby.  All I can do is whine and complain.  That may be true, but I prefer to say kvetch and gripe.  Gripe, especially, seems to have a tough, gritty aspect.  Ah, how I love words.

So you see that I continue to struggle with the “real” post problem.  After having such a good week last week. Well, at least I had one good week in October.  It isn’t time yet for the blog to become All Lunch Hour All The Time (that’s the play which is the rehearsal I have to go to) (it’s at Ilion Little Theatre; I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before).

Oh dear, two posts in a row where all I do is whine (complain, kvetch, gripe, whatever).  I hope I can come up with something amusing for Lame Post Friday.  As always, I hope you’ll stay tuned.

 

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Lame Running Commentary

Posted on October 17, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh, swell.  I’ve got the dreaded type it in then backspace it out.  How many posts have I started with that observation?  I am far too lazy to go back and check.  But I was not too lazy to go running, so I will attempt to write a paragraph or two about that.

To begin with I was not going to run.  Did I mention I’m feeling lazy?  One problem was I had a headache for most of the day.  It was not a migraine, so I had that going for me.   The headache eased off by the time I got home, but I had just about talked myself out of running for the day.  What to do instead?  Take a shower?  Clean the house?  Fool around on Facebook?  I decided to call my parents.  They told me to go running.  So I did.

I could not move very fast.  In my defense, I worked a ten hour day today, which I have not done in a while.  Oh well, I guess I did do two last week.  But other than that, it’s been nine-hour days.  On the brighter side, I did not have to worry about going to rehearsal tonight.  So you see, the glass usually is half full.

Then I felt a twinge.  It felt as if I had pulled a muscle in the top of my foot.  For heavens’ sake, who pulls a muscle in the top of their foot?  How ridiculous!  I kept running, ignoring it as best as I could.  I tried to run smoothly, so as not to be pounding my great weight onto my foot.

I may have mentioned that I developed my smooth stride in the army.  An army friend told me I looked like I was speed walking when I ran.  She had knee problems so tried to imitate my run.  She said, “I tell myself,  ‘Do the Quackenbush!  Do the Quackenbush!'”  So today I thought to myself, “Do the Quackenbush!”

After a while my foot felt better.  Then I got a stitch in my side.  This is what it is like to be me.

No matter.  I kept running.  At least I could enjoy looking at the fall colors and admiring people’s Halloween decorations.  The temperature was very good for running: cool enough that I wasn’t sweaty, not so cold my hands got stiff (remember: glass half full).   I’ve had worse runs.

I ran for as long as I ran last time (Wednesday), which was 22 minutes.  I only walked a six-minute cool-down, because the ice cream truck seemed to be stalking me.  I hate that ice cream truck.

I was glad that I ran.  I’m even more glad that now I’ve made my blog post.  Did you find it a little lame?  May I remind you that this is Lame Post Friday?   I hope to see you again as the weekend progresses.

 

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The Most Boring Post Yet?

Posted on October 11, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Yesterday when I ended with the threat that I was going to publish The Most Boring Post Yet for comparison purposes with yesterday’s nonsense, I bet a lot you thought I was just kidding.  Well, maybe I was, and yet, here we are.  I worked this morning then had a lovely afternoon of adventuring.  I just don’t darn well feel like composing a blog post right now.  So, pretend it is still Friday and read:

Is it time for another Lame Post Friday already? Oh dear. I am having the worst case of Writer’s Blank I have had in a long time. At least, I seem to remember writing that I had one recently. Was it a Tired Tuesday or a Wuss-out Wednesday? I can’t possibly go back to previous posts and check.

I could write a cooking post. I have some bean soup on the stove which is tasting pretty good. My problem is I am a little bored with my cooking methods. I seem to always start with chopping up an onion and putting it in some oil to cook, then crushing up some cloves of garlic and letting them breathe (or whatever it is they do) for fifteen minutes (and I usually use the line “breathe (or whatever it is they do)”). One night last week, I asked Steven to cook because I just couldn’t face chopping that onion and putting it in oil to cook.

And now I feel silly for railing against it, because onions cooked down in oil is a very good start to many recipes. Still, how many times can I write about it? I need a new technique.

My overarching problem today is that I am in kind of a down mood. That is a rather distressing state of affairs on a Friday, for a Monday through Friday worker such as myself. I think it is reasonable to expect a lightening of mood when I do not have to be at work tomorrow. Not that my job is so burdensome, but I’m sure you know what I mean.

This is the worst post I have written yet. I can’t publish this. I will save it as a draft and try something else.

Back to the present time:  now that I read this again, it is not so stinking bad, is it? I wonder what else was in that bean soup.  I’d like to make it again.

 

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And Then Another Lame

Posted on September 26, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

OK, so it really is a Friday for me when I did not completely expect one.  I thought I was working Saturday until about 2:47 this afternoon.  OK,  I don’t know exactly what time it was; I just thought it would be funny to say it was a specific time that did not involve fives or zeros.

So I got home all happy and had a glass of wine.  My nice husband and I had amorphous plans.  We thought to go to K Mart and look at a ghost we might like to purchase.  I thought I would cook quesadillas.  We were not clear on order of events or times.  Then Steven (really, the perfect husband) said, “Or we could go out to eat.”

Obviously that is what we did.  At my suggestion we went to the Copper Moose Alehouse in Little Falls.  We sat at the bar and had some more Pinot Grigio (not enough that Steven could not drive home) and ordered food.  I had shrimp tacos.  Steven had a hamburger involving a fried egg and other toppings.  We chatted up the bartender and others.

In all, it was a delightful evening and one well worth a blog post. Can I always write a blog post at the end of a delightful evening? Regular readers know, the answer to that question is NO!!!

On the other hand, it is Lame Post Friday.  This is me, being lame for the day. I shall now go back to enjoying my Friday, as indeed, I hope the rest of you are doing.

But until I get to writing a real post about Copper Moose Alehouse, you can check them out yourself.  They are located at 518 E. Main St., Little Falls, NY , open Tuesday through Thursday 4 to 10 p.m., Friday and Saturday 4 to 11 p.m.  You can Like them on Facebook.  Let me know what you think.

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An Infinite Number of Blog Posts

Posted on September 23, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I cannot continue to publish post after post about how busy and tired I am.  Or can I?

The fact is, I find that I can always write SOMETHING.  My time spent gazing at a blank page does not last very long.  Of course, I don’t always write what I wanted to write. I can’t say what percentage of the time I write something good (although my inner critic will offer an opinion).  But words on paper, I can usually provide.

I think this is a good thing.  If nothing else, I’m helping keep the pen and paper people in business.  Additionally, I have always said: writing begets more writing.  If I keep writing nonsense, I increase the chances that I sooner or later churn out something worthwhile.   Or is that the infinite number of monkeys theory?

Let’s talk about that theory.  Of course I often spoil sayings by taking them too literally.  It’s kind of a hobby of mine.

The saying goes — and I’m not sure what the point is — that if you have an infinite number of monkeys bouncing around on an infinite number of typewriters, you will eventually get all of Shakespeare (it’s kind of an old saying; who uses a typewriter any more?).

Excuse me, what?  Leaving aside the infinite aspect of the situation (which makes it one of those impossible hypotheticals which I loathe), how exactly does this work?  Will the plays magically appear amidst the gibberish?  Or is it like a seek-a-word puzzle, you cross out all extraneous letters?  That might be fun.  Let’s try it.  Here I go, randomly hitting keys…

lkwhnfndbnb  b nmae,juisnb  oakn mblm jbiam  ,elmjhbun cvnvefn  g  kvjuiH.

I think it would take a damn long time to get “To be or not to be” out of that.  Do we also have an infinite amount of time in the saying?

As I said a few paragraphs ago, I’m not sure what the point is.  Perhaps some didactic type could explain it to me.  In the meantime, I’m up to over 300 words of this nonsense.  I’m going to call it a post.  Happy Tuesday, folks.

 

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Post then Play

Posted on September 19, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh SWELL!  I’ve got the dreaded Type It In And Backspace It Out disease!

I grit my teeth and somehow keep from erasing that sentence.  Oh this is bad!  On the brighter side, it is Lame Post Friday.  I think we’re all expecting something foolish, so here it is.

I just sat here looking at the blank space and wondering what to put next.  So far, I got nuthin’.  In my defense, I have a play to do tonight.  I have to fix my hair, brush my teeth, get my stuff together, put the right clothes on… I already looked over my lines twice today.  Perhaps a third time would be better…

For anyone just tuning in, the play is Roxy, presented by the Herkimer County Historical Society at Ilion Little Theatre.  We opened last weekend.  We close this weekend.  Three more performances!  We sold out last weekend, and we have already sold out for this weekend.  People seem to like us.

However, I have a blog post to make.  A Friday Lame Post.  Traditionally on Lame Post Friday, I indulge in random observations and half-baked philosophy, so here it is:  At work today, I looked out the window and saw the dog that lives in a house across the street.  I said, “There’s that good dog.”  And that is also my philosophical observation for the day, I like to think that all dogs are good.  Discuss amongst yourselves.  I have to go get ready for my play.

 

 

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Lame Actor’s Nightmare

Posted on September 12, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

We interrupt All Roxy All The Time to bring you Lame Post Friday.  I thought all week about beginning a blog post that way.  Is it the thrill I was hoping for?  Hard to say.  In any case, it is opening night, how can I not talk about Roxy ?

Dress rehearsal last night went pretty good.  Then I had a dream that it was dress rehearsal again and people were walking out.  In the dream, one of the walkers said, “I was sitting there being bored, when I thought, I can just go home.”  I guess this is my new actor’s nightmare.  Of course the traditional actor’s nightmare is about being on stage and not knowing anything about the play, but you know me.  I just have to be different.

In fact, I stopped having the traditional actor’s nightmare many years ago, when we had our company, Murder For Hire.  We did interactive murder mysteries.  A large portion of these mysteries was mingling with the audience.  There was also a question and answer period.  You get a lot of practice staying in character and thinking on your feet.  I loved it.  I soon found that I would still have the dream about being on stage in an unknown play, but it no longer bothered me.  In the dream, I would just start talking.

I have every expectation that tonight’s performance will go very well.  I have very little worry that anybody will walk out, although I suppose anything can happen.  I intend to break a leg, but not literally.  I’ll report back on Saturday.

 

 

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Exit, Stage Lame

Posted on September 5, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

You know, like how Snagglepuss used to say, “Exit, stage left!”  I always liked that line.

Of course it is Lame Post Friday.  Perhaps you hoped I would not have one, since yesterday’s post was, well, I guess a little lame, too.  Then again, that usually doesn’t stop me (ssSomebody, sstop me!) (like Jim Carrey in Mask, a movie I have only seen once, not all the way through) (have you just lost all respect for me?).

Where was I? Ah yes, trying to get my blog post published before I get ready for rehearsal for Roxy, the play being put on by Herkimer County Historical Society at Ilion Little Theatre (I thought it would be good to say that again).  It is one week before opening night.  They still have not gotten the gallows squared away, which I suppose should be good news for me, since I am playing the character who gets hanged.  Rehearsal may run late, but that is OK with me, because I don’t have to work tomorrow. Yay!

I have my contact lenses in, which I very rarely wear.  I get the one-day disposables for precisely that reason.  I get awesome distance vision with them.  Close up, not so much.  To see my computer properly I have on a pair of over-the-counter readers.  Full disclosure: I bought them because they were on sale and had rhinestones.  I don’t know what power they are.

I shall declare  this post sufficient for Lame Post Friday purposes.  I must go do my hair, look over my lines, and get ready to murder my husband with an ax, theatrically speaking, of course. Happy Friday, everyone.

 

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Respectable but Silly

Posted on August 29, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

A few good things happened today.  My Saturday overtime got cancelled, so it really truly is a Friday for me.  My laundry is done (of course actually doing it was a heinous part of the day, but I’m being glass half full here).  It is Snapped night on Reelz, so I can continue to research my character of a woman who kills her husband (for that play I’m in, remember?).  And, it is Lame Post Friday, so I can write a silly blog post and not worry about it.

I know, this is just one of many silly posts I make these days.  In my defense, I’m getting sick again.  I spent the day in misery, wanting nothing better than to go home, lay down on my bed and watch the ceiling spin.  The highlight of my day was when I remembered about Snapped night.  I try to be grateful for any bright spot.

However, I did not start this blog post to kvetch.  I started it because, well, I like to post every day.  Oh, I know what, let’s have a continuation of Toot My Horn Tuesday by sharing a Facebook post I made On This Day a couple of years ago:  So I said to this guy at work, “I have a terrible hemorrhoid.  You can get a good look at it when you kiss my ass.”  Incidentally, that is what I could say to anybody who thinks I am making too many silly posts.  Then again, if somebody is actually reading me, perhaps I should keep it polite.  Any thoughts?

In the meantime, I’m over 250 words.  I call that respectable.  I have some murder television to watch.  Happy Friday, everyone.

 

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Lame Brained and Not Really Friday

Posted on August 15, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

So there I was, logging on to WordPress to finally make my Lame Post Friday blog post for the week.  Why, oh why does Reader pop up first?  I just can’t help but scroll down and read a few.  Sometimes I resist the urge, then I feel guilty for ignoring my fellow bloggers.  We all like to be read, that’s why we do this.  At least, it is one reason (oh, don’t sit there saying in that superior tone of voice, “I blog for ME!  I don’t care if NOBODY reads it!”  If that was the case, you’d just write a diary).

Where was I?  Ah yes, making my blog post and I think I went a little bit long on the first paragraph,but you’ll have that sometimes.  Let’s make the second paragraph shorter, shall we?

It isn’t even really a real Friday for me, because I work tomorrow.  I am quite happy to be doing so.  For one reason, I’ve already spent the money (don’t judge).  For another reason, the DARE 5K is tomorrow.  I have not kept up my training since the Boilermaker 15K so am unable to participate.  The Kids’ Fun Run goes right by my house.  The 5K goes by the end of my street.  It is not easy to avoid, and I will feel bad to see all those people running without me.

As I sit in my living room typing this, I can hear thunder outside.  Herkimer County is under a severe thunderstorm warning for the next 40 to 45 minutes or so.  I do love a good thunderstorm.  Of course, it would be a problem if we lost power, but I’ll just keep the good thought and enjoy the rumble.

Another thing for me to enjoy is an episode of Snapped on digital cable.  Regular readers may recall that this is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. I usually watch it on Sundays (sometimes all day), but I have found another channel that shows it on Fridays.

And now I am beginning to think I am having a Non-Sequitur Friday.  That’s not right!  It’s Non-Sequitur Thursday, and I had that yesterday!  Sorry, folks.  I guess it’s my brain on overtime.  Hope to see you all on Saturday.  AFTER I get done work.

 

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