Author Archives: mohawkvalleygirl

Neither Loop Nor Lope

This is the second part of my Running in Vermont series (don’t worry; there are only two). I make bold to write about my other run because it features a covered bridge. One should always include a covered bridge or two on a trip to Vermont.

The covered bridge is at the opposite end of the street I ran out on Saturday. I had talked myself out of running on Sunday but talked myself back into it for reasons mentioned in yesterday’s post (soapy shower and not running later, if you want to know).

It was slightly warmer, and I started later, after drinking coffee and eating a doughnut (I sensibly waited an hour after the doughnut, like when you go swimming). I rather hoped the sugar and caffeine would help. As you may have predicted, not so much.

I made lumbering progress down the road, wondering why I couldn’t achieve the perceived lope of Saturday. Then I realized I was running uphill. Not a real hill, of course (even I would have noticed that), but one of those long upgrades that sometimes get you down. I felt better after I realized that. I didn’t have to blame the doughnut after all.

I remembered there is a small but definite hill right after the covered bridge. Well, it’s good to run hills. I could rock this.

It’s a one lane bridge. As I ran across I reflected that surely there would be space for me and a car if need be, even if I have put on a few pounds (I know, back on the South Beach for me). Then I realized a car was stopped on the other side waiting for me. How nice of that person. I gave him the thank you wave, and he waved back in a friendly fashion.

As I ran on I encountered a group of teenage boys walking in the opposite direction. We exchanged good mornings. I was looking at my watch by this time, knowing I would do a straight out and back. Luckily I was not too close to my turn around time. I did not want to come running up behind those boys. They might think I was stalking them, although I believe your typical stalker is more surreptitious than that.

Some distance ahead I saw a real hill going up and out of sight. If I had my run time built up, I thought with some wistfulness, I would be running up that hill. Something to aspire to for next year’s visit. I’ll probably write a blog post about it.

More Loop than Lope

As we drove to Vermont Friday afternoon, we saw some people running.

“I need to do that,” I said sadly, as many runners who are not currently running do.

“Maybe Vermont will inspire you,” Steven said.

I packed running clothes, based on the theory better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. I figured I would talk myself our of it. Or it might rain.

Imagine my surprise when I got out of bed Saturday morning and put on running clothes. I think Steven was a little surprised too. There was no need to run too far, I told myself, especially since I had not run in… two weeks? Three weeks? I don’t even remember last weekend, and not for reasons which you may be forgiven for thinking. I figured fifteen minutes would be acceptable, twenty minutes respectable. Any more and I might be too tired to enjoy Vermont. Can’t have that.

Off I went.

And felt very cold. I had packed bicycle shorts and large t-shirt, which are usually good down to forty degrees. I don’t mind running in the cold, but I wished I had thought to bring a headband to cover my ears with. No matter. I said I wasn’t going to run very far, and I probably wouldn’t run fast enough to get much wind resistance. Just keep running.

The road my sister-in-law lives on is a quiet country road. Not completely quiet, though, which makes the complete lack of shoulder problematic. Most motorists slow down and move over, so that was nice. I made sure to give them the “thank you” wave when they did.

I ran to the end of the street, then around to another street to make kind of a loop, then back up the first street. I knew only a vague moment of hesitation before making the turn, thinking I PROBABLY remembered accurately where this one came out. It is always interesting running in an unfamiliar place. I usually don’t get too lost, but you never know, especially when roads loop as they tend to do.

As I ran, I reflected on the loopiness of roads. I don’t think I’ve ever gone running where the streets made perfect parallels and right angles. Army housing especially seems to be laid out based on a plate of spaghetti. Mmmm… I like spaghetti.

And so my thoughts ran, distracting me from my body, which might have started to complain at this point. Still, I seemed to be running along at a pretty good clip. I felt moderately pleased with myself.

As I started back down the first road, another runner passed me. He had on long spandex pants, a jacket, gloves and a hat.

“You’re better equipped than I am,” I told him.

“I’m actually working up a sweat,” he said. “I was thinking you were better dressed. Maybe something in between.”

I agreed, and he ran on. And then we came to the ugly truth about my pace, because he certainly left me in the dust. No matter. We all must run our own race. If my middle-aged shuffle feels like a loping gazelle in my head, who am I hurting?

One of the best parts of any run is the soapy shower afterward. Truth be known, that was my real inducement to run. It was my inducement the next day too. The other inducement was to run now and not have to run later. Or feel guilty about not running.

More Lighthearted than Literary

I’m having a Middle-aged Musings Monday and I’m not apologizing for it (I say a little defensively).

I actually had very little to muse about. However, I have the habit of picking up a book while I wait for my computer to boot up. Right now it’s A Writer’s Diary by Virginia Woolf (Harcourt, Brace, Jovanovich, New York, 1953). Today I came across the following: “Writing is not in the least an easy art. Thinking what to write, it seems easy; but the thought evaporates, runs hither and thither.”

And here we come to the ugly truth about me. For me thinking about what to write is never easy. My mind runs hither and thither or else seems to have evaporated. However, once I manage to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, words come out. It’s easy!

OK, all together now: Cindy, you’re no Virginia Woolf.

I actually say it with no feelings of shame or inferiority. I adore Virginia Woolf, admire her writing intensely, don’t know why I don’t read more of it. Could I write like Virginia Woolf? Or rather, could I write more betterly than what I do? Could I be admired by the snobby intellectuals? Would my stuff eventually be read by students of literature with varying degrees of loathing, envy or mystification?

I’m thinking not. I’m thinking I am more lighthearted than literary, and I don’t mind that a bit. We all write what we can. If I could only write more than what I do, publish and get paid for some of it, well, I would be exactly the kind of writer I aspire to be.

Is It Really the Size of Manhattan?

You knew I was going to have another Wrist to Forehead Sunday.

At least, perhaps not every reader thought that. Perhaps some expected better of me. Perhaps some merely hoped. And perhaps it is the height of egotism to believe that anybody thinks about me at all. Well, I often say, there are worse things than having an ego the size of Manhattan.

Where was I?

I had a weekend away. I believe I mentioned it. I may have mentioned that I cleverly wrote blog posts in advance and used that handy function the nice WordPress people provide to set them to be published with no further effort on my part (cue unkind remarks on how little effort I seemed to have put into the posts up to that point). I have spent the last few hours asking myself why, or why, did I not write, type in and schedule to be published one more itty bitty post?

The answer is not far to seek. Posts are not that easy to come by, even some of the ridiculous crap I write. Some mental effort is needed, even for today’s self-indulgent folly. And you know what, a cup of coffee is not always the miracle cure I’m hoping for.

So, preview of coming attractions: I went to Vermont. I hit a couple of attractions. I went running a couple of times. I made a few observations on two three-hour long car rides. The material is there somewhere.

In the meantime, I just thought I’d make one more silly post about Why I Can’t Write a Post. As always, I crave your indulgence.

Get On With The Creature!

I had great hopes for Wasp Woman (1959). The title seemed to promise a monster. I knew they might slough me off with a big bunch of insects, but I was willing to take that chance. When I saw Roger Corman’s name in the credits, I felt certain I had made a wise decision.

Spoiler Alert! I will give away some plot developments, but not all. Still, more than I would want to know, so I warn you.

The movie opens with predators of a different kind, in a corporate board room. A hard-nosed businesswoman is putting her board through the wringer on declining sales. A good-looking young man jumps up and in arrogant leading-man fashion blames her. It is a cosmetics company, you see, and she has always been its “face.” Now that the face has changed, customers do not trust it.

Snap! Why didn’t you just say, “It’s your fault, because you got so old and ugly!” Incidentally, she’s neither. She’s not young and chipper, but I should look so good in my 40s (I’m still in my 40s for at least another month, so shut up!). Obviously the movie is setting her up to take extreme measures to look young and beautiful. Naturally this will lead to trouble.

I can’t help noticing that the quest to keep a woman young and beautiful forms the catalyst for a number of horror movies. I like best the ones where they have to kill authentically young and beautiful women to do it. Oh dear, that didn’t sound very nice. I only meant that those were the most horrifying and in general the cheesiest. I think woman’s quest for beauty and man’s role in aiding and abetting is a ripe topic for some serious commentary, if I was that sort of a blogger. Being the sort of blogger I am, I may mine the topic for some half-baked philosophy one Lame Post Friday.

Where was I? Ah yes, with Cosmetic CEO ready to fund some highly risky experiments involving wasps. They provide some background on what terrible creatures wasps are, especially the queen, and the supposed scientific basis for the experiments. I wasn’t paying a great deal of attention. You know in these pictures the science is going to be spurious; I say just get on to the creature.

It takes a while for the Wasp Woman to show up, and she’s a pretty good movie monster. I wish she had gotten more screen time. Before the creature shows up we have to go through the mad scientist (he is actually a rather sweet old man) convincing CEO to fund him, then watch him work, progressing too slowly to suit CEO. Of course she experiments by giving herself extra injections.

She doesn’t see a kitten, previously rejuvenated from an old tabby, go crazy and attack the mad scientist. He gets hit by a car and goes into a coma before he can either perfect the formula or warn anybody about what happened to the cat (he kills the cat, by the way; it might have been fun to have several wasp-infused creatures running around but I guess that’s just me, always wanting more).

The hero — remember, arrogant guy from scene 1? — and his love interest — CEO’s secretary — are, not surprisingly, pretty boring. There’s another guy who always has a pipe in his mouth and gets to have a little more character. My favorites were the two brassy secretaries. I was a little worried over who would end up being wasp food, but the body count wasn’t too high (which could be a good or a bad thing, depending).

It’s a pretty fun movie. I recommend it. If you watch it and have a discussion on the feminist implications, please let me know what conclusions you draw.

It’s a Non-Sequitur, It’s a Memory, NO, It’s Lame Post Friday!

Full Disclosure: I’m writing blog posts ahead this week. We’re going away for the weekend, and I don’t want to worry about getting up extra early on Friday or finding a computer on Saturday (the only full day we’ll be gone) (oh dear, I hope nobody made a note of that and intends to rob my house) (well, if you do, please clean the bathroom while you’re there, it’s disgusting) (and anybody that just said “TMI” to that last bit, Shut up! You know I hate that expression!).

Where was I? Ah, yes, this will be either Non-Sequitur Thursday or Lame Post Friday. I’ll decide when I type it into the computer. As you may have guessed, this post is a silly one.

When I registered at the Superhero Sprint on Saturday, they gave me an itty bitty box of candy, maybe an inch long, half-inch wide, quarter-inch deep. It had the Incredible Hulk on the outside and said it contained Candy Sticks.

I put the box in my purse and did not think about it again till the other day at work, when I happened to notice it. Now, I like to say I don’t see the point of candy that isn’t chocolate. That is not really accurate, of course, but I’m sure chocolate lovers see my point. Furthermore, I am trying to cut down on sweets (for me that is easier than cutting back on salty treats and deep-fried yumminess). I asked my friend Karen if she wanted them.

“What are they?”

“I know know; it says Candy Sticks. I thought it might be good if you needed that little sugar boost.” For my own sugar boost needs, I generally rely on hot chocolate out of the machine or substitute caffeine.

Pause for PSA: Kids! Don’t use artificial stimulants!

Back to the blog: Karen opened up the box and we peeked at the candy sticks.

“Why, those are candy cigarettes,” I exclaimed. “Remember candy cigarettes?” Not being worried if she dated herself in front of me, Karen nodded.

They weren’t exactly candy cigarettes, because they didn’t have the red food coloring tip (probably made with red dye number whatever that caused cancer). Still, the resemblance was striking.

“Think of it,” I said. “For years, all those candy-cigarette-making-machines stood idle, because it wasn’t cool to sell candy cigarettes any more. Then somebody got the idea, ‘Hey! We’ll make candy STICKS instead!’ And all those machines got used again!”

I don’t know if Karen was similarly struck at the thought or if she just likes to laugh at my nonsense. But I thought the whole story was good enough for a silly blog post. Candy cigarettes! What a blast from the past!

Ooh, I just realized, I could save this post for Monday, when it could be a Middle-aged Memory. But, no, I think I will use it for Lame Post Friday. For one thing, I’m too tired to write up and type in yet another post.

Have a nice weekend!

Tabby on Main Street

I think Tabby would like to become a member of Herkimer Now. She had a wonderful time at their Superhero Sprint last Saturday. Tuesday night she joined them for their second Main Street Walk. Steven and I tagged along.

The first Main Street Walk was held last month (perhaps you read my blog post about it). Once again, people gathered outside Basloe Library at 6:30 p.m. We greeted people we remembered and who remembered us from last time or from the Superhero Sprint. Well, I guess they mostly remembered Tabby, although one woman had seen me on WUTR News (I had agreed to comment on camera). No news people were there this time (phew!), but Mayor Mark Ainsworth was on hand.

Another lady had brought her dog this time. She said her dog was kind of a snapper, so we did not let Tabby get too close, although both hounds seemed interested in each other. We walked north on Main Street as far as the 1834 Jail (one of my favorite spots), then crossed the street and walked south. Once again, people reminisced about what used to be where. Two gentlemen sitting on the stoop of an apartment building said hello. They knew one of the walkers, who stopped and chatted for a minute. I heard them express encouragement and approval.

When we passed Smokers Friendly, Steven went in to purchase a lottery ticket. I’ll let you know if he wins big. As we came out the door, Tabby encountered the other dog. Rowf! I think the other pooch wanted to fight, but her owner restrained her. We walked a little faster.

At State Street, also known as Route 5, people paused so we could cross the street as a group. It was almost dark by now. I remarked that it might have been better to start earlier and cross the busy street in full daylight. However, there were streetlights and a walk signal, and everybody made it across safely. One lady showed me that she had on an identification bracelet she wore when she rode her bike, so if she got hit by a car anybody would know who she was. I said that was a good idea, but, really, God forbid.

We hadn’t gotten to South Main Street on the first walk, so we saw some different buildings. Steven and I rarely cross State when we walk, so that was of interest to us.

St. Anthony’s Church hosted the group for refreshments. We hesitated about bringing Tabby in, but the lady in charge said it would be fine as long as we kept track of her. We didn’t let her off the leash, and she was, as usual, well behaved. One nice lady got her a dish of water. Steven and I enjoyed a cup of coffee and some treats. Tabby was a little disappointed that we didn’t share, but we made sure she got some treats when we got back home.

We walked back up Main Street by ourselves and managed to cross State without mishap. I was really glad we had gone on the walk. I think it’s wonderful that such a simple idea can make a difference and that people are willing to try. What tangible differences has it made so far, you may ask. I say good question. I’ll be watching Main Street and will be sure to report back.

I believe the two walks taken so far have at least made a difference to those of us who walked. I felt encouraged to see that people cared, were willing to come out and were optimistic enough to believe we can change things.

To watch for when the next walk will be, you can Like Herkimer Now’s Facebook page. Hope to see you there!

Happy Anniversary, BUP!

I’ve given a shout-out to the Belly Up Pub before, but I feel it is appropriate to do so again, because they celebrated their one year anniversary last Saturday.

Herkimer Now posted the anniversary on their Facebook page and suggested people stop down to help celebrate following the Superhero Sprint. This sounded like a good idea to me. Steven worked till 4:30, so we made a plan to meet there.

The Belly Up Pub is located on 122 W. Albany St. in Herkimer, NY. The site hosted Albany Street Cafe when Steven and I first came to the area. Before that it was a place called Dineen’s. Dineen’s was open long enough ago that women were not allowed to stand at the bar. I would have a problem with that.

I left my house about quarter after four to walk down to the Belly Up. As usual, I felt a little guilty about walking anywhere without my dog, Tabby, but she’s not 21.

Sitting at the bar, I ordered a glass of wine and began writing a blog post (not this one). I wished the bartender a happy anniversary. Their real celebration did not start till six, with drink and food specials as well as live music later on, but Steven and I like to go to a bar early, when it’s not as crowded. We got to take advantage of the Happy Hour Specials.

I fell into conversation with some gentlemen that walked in after me, so I did not get much writing done. When Steven showed up, we ordered some appetizers, which saved me cooking dinner. The Appetizer Sampler includes your choice of fries: regular, sweet potato or eggplant. I chose eggplant, because you can’t get eggplant fries just anywhere. It came with two dipping sauces. Yum.

It was a very pleasant interlude. We hope to do it again soon, even without the excuse of wishing the Belly Up a happy anniversary. For more information on the Belly Up Pub, visit their website at www.bellyuppub.com. Or you can like their Facebook page.

Drop that Torch!

I DVR’d The Night the World Exploded some weeks ago, when the pickings were slim (full disclosure: I did not make a note of the year and as I write this, I’m not even sure I’ve got the correct title) (further disclosure: the first draft read The Day the World Exploded; I had written the title but not the year in the TV Journal). I was not sure if it was the sort of cheesy horror movie I love to write about. Still, an old science fiction picture might not be too bad. Or, well, you know, too good. Last weekend, I finally got around to watching it.

Spoiler Alert: I’m probably going to give away everything but the ending, which I do not remember.

I don’t remember the beginning very well, either, but I did have a few minutes’ anxiety that the movie was going to turn out to be a precursor of the Irwin Allen disaster flicks of the ’70s. Of course those movies have a cheesy charm all their own. However, I felt fairly certain that a precursor made as a B feature in whatever year this was would not live up to the Allen opuses (can you use the word “opus” for movies or is it just for music?).

Having started right out with some earthquakes, the movie almost caught my interest when it was revealed that scientists did not know what was causing them. I right away thought subterranean monsters, maybe just woken up after vegetating in some tar pits or frozen during the ice age.

Um, no.

Before we find out the cause, we have to be introduced to the love story. This lady scientist named Hutch (honestly) is about to quit and get married. Some older guy advises her to don’t do that but continue to hold a torch for this other scientist. Sooner or later he’ll suddenly realize he’s in love with her.

Yeah, right. None of my crushes ever accommodated me that way, and I held a couple of torches for an embarrassingly long time. Actually, I don’t really feel too embarrassed about it, because so do a lot of people. One thing most of us do not need encouragement for is to continue to hold a torch, and Hutch is no exception.

(Two side notes: One, nobody in this movie uses the actual words “carry a torch.” That’s my embellishment. Two, anybody gearing up to tell us that they never have and never would carry a torch, don’t bother; none of us will believe you.) (At least, I imagine it must be true that SOME people never carry torches, but how obnoxious it would be to brag about such a thing.)

Where was I?

Ah yes, Hutch stays a scientist, the earthquake nicely providing her with justification for such doormat behavior. The object of her desires does not even treat her very well. When she gets hung up climbing down a loose ladder, he taunts her in an unkind fashion to goad her into continuing. Oh I know, taunting is a time-honored technique and I daresay it even works on occasion. However, I find it unbearably condescending, paternalistic and mean (so anybody thinking of using the taunting method on me the next time I have trouble writing a post, please do not).

So there they are, down a hole in the earth, looking for the cause of the earthquakes. And they find a rock which they say is a new element. Another disclosure: I don’t know from elements. I had to memorize the periodic table in eighth grade science, but all I remember is that Fe means iron and there are some numbers that mean something about electrons or something.

Pause for PSA: Remember, kids! Pay attention in science class! I wish I had!

Back to the blog: Even with my limited scientific knowledge, I think that you cannot just look at a rock and know it is a new element. Sometimes you can’t even look at a rock and know for sure what kind of a rock it is! Don’t they have scientific tests for these things?

But one guy gets all excited and takes the rock home with him (cue unkind jokes about science nerds not taking girls home). We see the rock — uh, element — burst into flames and explode. Cool. Apparently it is quite an explosion, because they never find the poor guy’s body.

The action pauses for a little more condescension toward Hutch from that guy (you know, the one who is GOING to realize he is in love with her SOMEDAY) when she feels sad over her friend, because, you know, a lot of people died in the earthquakes. Perhaps he was making some profound philosophical point. I sat there thinking, “There’s always someone.”

I lost track of the movie shortly after that, so I don’t know how they contained Element 112 or whatever they were calling it. I think Hutch finally got her man, though. I would only recommend this movie for fans of spurious science and condescending love stories. Or, to use another rating system I’ve toyed with: needs robot heads.

Superhero Tabby

When we last left our heroine… usually that’s me, but this time it’s my schnoodle, Tabby (when we last left me, I had my wrist to my forehead, but let’s not dwell on that). I was saying, when we last left our heroine, Tabby, the superhero dog, she was on her way to the Superhero Sprint, accompanied by her arch-nemesis, the Evil Woman CinCin (do I need to tell you that’s me?).

For anyone just tuning in, The Superhero Sprint is an event sponsored by Herkimer Now, a committee whose aim is to revitalize Herkimer, NY, starting with Main Street.

I talked on Saturday about getting on my Evil Woman CinCin outfit (arrow back if you’re curious; I’m too lazy to do one of those ping back things). Registration for the Sprint was at ten by Basloe Library. We left our house between quarter and ten of. I always get nervous about being late for these things.

As I walked down the sidewalk, it occurred to me that I was a middle-aged lady wearing a homemade super-villain costume, walking with my little dog. It might be appropriate or at least understandable, I thought, to feel just a little self-conscious. Then I thought, if anybody gives me a funny look, I’ll just say, “What? You never saw a super villainess out for a stroll with her arch nemesis?” Alas, I did not get the opportunity to say that line, but I could not resist sharing the thought.

A nice little crowd had already gathered at the library, mostly families. Now I felt a little self-conscious, attending such an event on my own. I knew I should have borrowed a small child for the occasion. Well, Tabby would have to do. I chatted up a few people and enjoyed looking at all the costumes. Quite a few people petted Tabby, so she was a happy dog.

Eventually a DJ started playing some tunes. I would have liked to dance but felt it would be making myself undesirably conspicuous. An adult Joker was dancing with a very young SuperGirl, and two other super girls danced together. I don’t think Tabby wanted to dance; she was looking around for more people to pet her (she found some).

When it was time for the race to start, Concerned Citizens went and stood in the middle of the blocked off street. Some of them had signs that said things like “Biff!” and “Yikes!” The Villain, who was rocking an awesome fake mustache, ran the course first, a simple down and back on the one block. The heroes were to pursue him, stopping at tables along the way. From the American Legion they got a flag, from the police department a D.A.R.E. sticker, and from the fire department a water balloon with which to ultimately vanquish the Villain.

Tabby had pulled me across the street to sniff a promising tree near the fire department guys. I had seen the box of water balloons and gotten a little nervous. I was in a villain costume, after all.

When the runners took off, I asked Tabby if she wanted to run with them. She declined. We retreated to a safe distance from the water balloons and watched the fun. I don’t know who played the Villain, but he certainly had a good sense of humor.

After the Sprint, the kids got gift bags, and prizes were awarded for the best costumes and by drawings. Granola bars, apples and bottled water were available. Tabby and I had some water. I had foresightedly put a small bowl for Tabby in my fanny pack. She drank a little, mostly to be polite, I think. I offered some to the only other dog there, who seemed happy to take a drink too. We did not win a prize, appropriately enough because, costume notwithstanding, I was there as a spectator.

It looked as if everybody had a good time. I’m glad to see the Superhero Sprint become an annual event. Perhaps next year I will participate as a volunteer. Maybe they’ll let me hold the sign that says, “Yikes!”