Category Archives: humor

A Walk, a Run and a Forfeit

Posted on February 24, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

I have been trying to run many days, but not every day. For one thing, I have to take my dog for a walk sometimes. For another, I get tired. I’m not a young woman, and I’m not convinced I consume enough fruits and vegetables to constitute a healthy lifestyle (although a neighbor lady used to flatteringly call me “young lady” when she chided me for not wearing my crazy old lady hat) (she didn’t know I call it my crazy old lady hat) (but I digress).

I ran Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Monday, I substituted a walk to the post office with husband and dog, Steven and Tabby respectively. We had to mail a few things anyways. Besides, the moonlit stroll had not turned out so romantic; I wanted to try again.

Well, the Mohawk Valley wait-five-minute weather did me dirt again. It was cold. It was not romantic. It was not even that much fun. Still, it was fresh air and exercise, and Tabby seemed to enjoy it. You can learn a lot from a dog about appreciating life.

The next day it felt cold once again as I left work. I grumpily told myself I could and would skip two days in a row. Then I stopped at the drugstore, which of course took longer than anticipated (it almost always does; you would think I’d get better at anticipating). By the time I got home it seemed not as cold.

By the time I was outside actually running, it seemed just as cold. However, I was out and started. I kept going. The sidewalks were bare and dry, so that was good.

I observed Christmas lights still hanging on some porches. They were not lit, but the sun had not set yet. Quite possibly those people do not light them after Christmas. The holly and red ribbons on one house looked nice in the daylight. A snowman smiled at me from a screened in porch. That got me thinking about screened in porches. I do envy a screened in porch. I amused myself my noting the different ones and deciding which I admire most. Of course, Tuesday was no porch sitting day, but spring is coming.

Wednesday I had intended to walk with Tabby again and hoped Steven would join us. But it was no good. I was too tired. I sat and had a cup of tea. I looked at the television and tried to knit a few rows. I even wished I had one of those old lady chairs in my bathtub so I could take my shower sitting down.

Did I mention not being a young woman? I suppose there are other women out there older than me with boundless energy. I’m hoping they have too much energy to sit and read a blog. They can be out having adventures, not commenting to me that I am just a lazy bum. And I don’t need to hear about anybody’s feisty grandmother! (That’s not true, of course; I love to hear stories about grandmothers.) (Maybe I’ll do a blog post about mine.) (Is is bad form to end a piece on a parenthetical comment?)

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Posted in dogs, humor, Mohawk Valley, running, Uncategorized, walking. Bookmark the permalink.

Consignment Find

Posted on February 23, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

I like getting multiple blog posts out of one Saturday adventure. For one reason, it’s difficult to have adventures every day of the week when you work full time, even without overtime (and I love my overtime).

Continuing our Saturday meanderings, Steven and I left The Bistro on Main Street in Frankfort, NY and walked almost next door to a consignment shop we had notice earlier. Regular readers may recall how much I love consignment shops.

Good As New Consignment Store occupies two rooms, both of which are packed full of stuff. We made our cautious way amongst the racks. I walked around two round racks full of jeans, but did not find quite what I was looking for (since what I’m actually looking for is to wear jeans two sizes smaller than I currently do and still breath, that is not surprising). We admired a number of chicken things: glasses, canisters, a hard-cooked egg tray.

Then Steven spotted on a high shelf a decanter in the shape of a soldier. A dragoon, 17th Regiment, 1812 to be exact. It is a fine, upstanding, elegant soldier from a time when soldiers had a certain style (this is not to say anything against our current soldiers, who have a style all their own which is a bit more appropriate to this century). Steven has always wanted just such a fancy bottle, but they are not easy to come by, unless you buy them new and full of booze for a considerable price.

I discouraged Steven from getting it down himself to check the price. I did not want that soldier to fall on the floor. A nice lady that works there reached it for us in a quite fearless manner. She had to consult the owner for the price, which was one we didn’t mind paying (I don’t like to mention the actual price, because I have found that there is always some wise ass to tell you you paid too much). I fortuitously remembered that I owed Steven a Valentine present, so we were all set. The soldier now stands on our dining room table, waiting for us to select his permanent place in our decor.

Good As New Consignment Store is located at 108 W. Main St., Frankfort, NY. Phone number is 315-868-0772.

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Chilling at the Bistro

Posted on February 22, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

Some time ago, Steven and I had discovered a restaurant in Frankfort, NY called The Bistro. I’ve been wanting to get back there ever since, but one thing and another… So Saturday afternoon when we left the fundraiser (see previous post), I suggested we check it out.

“I’m not at all hungry,” Steven said, which was not surprising considering how much he had eaten at the fundraiser (my consumption, of course, was more moderate) (but still filling).

“We could get a cup of coffee,” I suggested, an offer Steven usually does not refuse.

The Bistro was open, and we found a handy parking space. As we walked in I admired once again the elegant decor. A young man greeted us right away. I told him we just wanted to sit at the bar and have a drink.

He was busy clearing away a bunch of glasses, because, he told us, a party had just left. There was a clear space at the bar, however, so we sat down. I wondered what the party had been for but did not ask. I like parties.

Steven ordered coffee and I asked for a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon (fun to say and fun to drink). The young man said to let him know if we wanted to order food, but we did not get hungry.

We enjoyed our drinks and listened to music from Lite 98.7. Some of the songs reminded us of things, most notably a radio program I used to listen to called “A Time for Romance.” I told Steven how this lady used to play a love song, then get on and say, “That was for Mark from Angie, she loves you a lot; and from Tina to Edward, thanks, babe; and to Julianne from Gerard; from Becky to Anthony; to George from Martha; to Fred from Wilma,” etc. Only, I admit it, at the time I couldn’t think of all those names off the top of my head. Wouldn’t I be witty and clever if I could? I said I would feel distinctly un-flattered to have a song dedicated to me that was also dedicated to 50 other people, but the truth of the matter is, nobody ever dedicated a song to me ever in my life (I know, cue the sarcastic violins, poor unloved me).

Steven had a refill on his coffee, but I stopped at one glass of wine. It was only early afternoon, after all.

I has happy we had finally made it back to The Bistro and only sorry we did not come hungry. I guess I really need to get out more. The Bistro is located at 100 W. Main St. in Frankfort, phone number 315-717-9536. They are open Monday through Thursday 11 am to 9 pm, Friday and Saturday 11 am to 10 pm. For more information, visit their website at thebistrofrankfort.com.

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Sunday Run

Posted on February 20, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

I think I used that title before. I actually did a few Mohawk Valley things yesterday, but what I really want to talk about today is this morning’s run. For one thing, thinking about what I could say about it was a major motivating factor that kept me running.

It may have been wiser to wait till later in the day, when it may be warmer, to run, but sometimes you need to act on your motivation right away. I’m sure many people feel that way. My thermostat said 31 degrees and often reads a little warmer than the actual temperature, so I wore my insulated sweatshirt over my long-sleeved ARMY t-shirt. The sweatshirt has the added advantage of being way too big on me, so the sleeves handily go over my hands, which any runner will tell you can damn cold during the course of a run.

As I set out I was a little concerned to find icy patches on the sidewalk. I’ve fallen on the sidewalk before. I don’t care for it. I ran carefully, utilizing a shuffling kind of pace. My pace is low to the ground at all times (my sports bras need all the help they can get), so this was not burdensome. And it allowed me to sing a song to myself that my sister Diane taught me: Every day I’m shufflin’. She first brought up that song before Tommy (her son, my nephew) and I ran the DARE 5K. I advised Tommy to shuffle up the big hill. Diane said, “You can sing to yourself, ‘Every day I’m shufflin’.” Like I say, all the help I can get.

Parts of the sidewalk were quite bare, which was nice. The roads, not so much, so I did not sprint across any roads as I like to do. I ran up the hill by Valley Health Services. This is not a major hill, like the one included in the DARE run. Well, I just barely started running again; I can only do so much jumping right in. I ran a hill Saturday, too, which was comparable, so I’ll be upgrading on the hills soon. When I ran down the other side of the block, the sun had been on that sidewalk, clearing it completely. Phew! My feet had already slipped a couple of times. Just the trailing foot sliding out from under me a little quicker than expected. I think the shuffling pace saved me. I was glad to have bare sidewalks on the downhill, where gravity can be my friend or my enemy.

I ran by the high school, which I like to do on a Sunday. Lots of discarded gum on the blacktop. Yuck, but at least it wasn’t fresh enough to stick to my shoes. I crossed a little bridge over a stream. At least, it may be a stream, it may be a drainage ditch. I like to say stream. The bridge used to be more picturesque, but they replaced it with a sturdy structure with a chain link fence rising over the railing. To keep students from jumping off? Throwing things off? Throwing other students off? Pondering the question helped pass the time. Soon I was in a sort of street slash parking lot, where I often find coins. Left as encouragement by the angels or dropped by careless people getting in and out of cars? I pick angels, but I did not find anything today. I found a penny on Wednesday’s run and two on Friday’s run, so I could put my two cents in (I make that joke whenever possible).

Running becomes a little problematic these days, because I don’t have a sense yet of how long it takes me to get from point A to point B. Since I run for a certain length of time, not a certain distance, this is a consideration. Soon I was on my street on the opposite side as my house, looking at my watch and calculating. I would need to run by my house for how long in order to turn around and make it back in the length of time I wanted? It didn’t help that I could see potential ice on that sidewalk. I could not count on a last minute sprint. Well, I’m not up for sprints yet, anyways. I shan’t tell you my target time, though, in case you think it’s too short. I can picture a reader saying, “That’s no run! What are you even bothering me about that for?”

Tabby graciously walked my cool down with me as usual. And by “graciously” I mean she jumped and barked and would barely sit still long enough for me to get the leash on her. I was glad I had not run the sidewalks we walked on, because we encountered some major ice. No accidents, though. It was a good run. And it looks as if I’ve blogged about it for a good long time. Well, I’ll make a shorter post tomorrow. Stay tuned.

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True Crime at the Library

Posted on February 19, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

Thursday I made my way to Basloe Library in Herkimer, NY, to pick up a true crime book by M. William Phelps.

This was kind of a big deal for me, because I had requested the book through http://www.midyork.org. I am not very computer savvy (although a past master of understatement), but I am just about able to find something through midyork.org if I know title and/or author (I used to use the card catalog with all those drawers, remember that? I was pretty good at that).

I had in fact been meaning to look for books by Phelps for some time now, ever since I first saw him on Snapped, giving background on a case he had written a book about. I have a lot more to say about him, but I think I’ll wait till I’ve read the book and do a whole blog post. In the meantime, suffice it to say, I typed his name into the box at midyork.org and selected one of the titles that popped up, Too Young to Kill.

In due course, the library left a message on my answering machine that the book was there, and in due course, my husband remembered to tell me about the message (just kidding, he told me about it that same day). Thursday I stopped at the library on my way home from work. I felt a little clunky in my steel-toed work shoes, but even so it was difficult to resist the temptation to wander the shelves looking for more books I might like. I resisted that temptation, but not the temptation to look over the book sale. For one thing, I thought I might find something Steven would like. After all, I owe him a Valentine present (and a full Valentine dinner; see earlier post).

Of course I found things I would like. It would be germane to the title I gave this post to say I found several true crime books, but alas I did not. I did find a book about The Last Plantagenets by Thomas B. Costain. That will no doubt include Richard III, who any Shakespeare buff can tell you murdered his young nephews in his quest for the throne. Historical crime, what’s not to like? I finally selected Duane’s Depressed by Larry McMurtry for Steven. It is the third book in the trilogy that includes The Last Picture Show, a book which Steven owns. I also got a collection of Dorothy Parker. Who doesn’t like Dorothy Parker?

The three books came to $1.75. They were hard pressed to make change for a ten, which is what I had.

“Oh wait, maybe I have correct change.” I dug in my pocket for my coffee out of the vending machine money. “Here’s a ripped one. Maybe you can tape it.” I counted out three quarters while the librarian got out the tape.

I was so pleased to be in a library again and wondered why I’m not there on a regular basis, looking for books or just sitting at a table writing. I could have written this whole blog post there and saved myself some time in front of the computer. Have to keep that in mind for next time. In the meantime, I’m busily reading the book by Phelps and will report back.

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Valentine Dinner

Posted on February 18, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

Valentine’s Day I did not run, because I had it in mind to cook my hubby an excellent dinner.

We had some pork chops and some cream of mushroom soup we wanted to use up (for some reason we had gotten a big can; we used half when I got a yen for tuna noodle casserole). A lady at work told me how her mom used to cook pork chops with cream of mushroom soup. She’d brown the chops, add the soup, then lower the heat, cover and cook for an hour and a half. I had two hours between when I get home and when Steven was expected. I was gold, as long as I didn’t go running.

I did, however, take my dog, Tabby, for a walk. Well, one must walk one’s dog, after all. And if I was not going to run, my legs at least needed a walk. Sometimes Tabby only wants to go for a short walk. Lately she’s been into medium walks, about 20 to 25 minutes. Tuesday we went for a 35 minute walk. What can I say, the pooch was into it. No matter, dinner would just still be cooking when Steven got home.

I started by sauteing yellow onion in olive oil. I thought caramelized onions would taste yummy in the recipe (plus, caramelized is a fun word to say, although a little difficult to spell). Naturally I crushed some garlic to add as well, carefully letting it breathe for 15 minutes to reach its full level of health benefits (I tend to use garlic on all possible occasions). This took a while. I kept a nervous eye on the clock, wondering how long Steven would mind waiting for his dinner when he finally got home.

At last the onions were soft and some of them were brown. I put in the pork chops. Those took longer to brown than I had expected, but I suppose I had an exaggerated notion. At the last minute I remembered some fresh mushrooms we had and tossed those in. Finally I added the soup, stirred well, covered the pan and lowered the heat. Nothing to do now but wait!

Since the heat was lowered I felt safe in going upstairs to the computer room to make my blog post for the day. I still had not showered. Luckily my vision of the evening did not include greeting my husband at the door clean, nice smelling and in satin pajamas. My vision did include gracious table settings on the dining room table, which we hardly ever use. I was too tired.

In fact, I was too tired to do much else at all. By the time Steven got home I had put water on the stove to boil for the smashed potatoes. I asked him to cook the potatoes while I showered. He nicely did.

Dinner actually turned out pretty yummy. We consumed it, as usual, in the living room in front of the television (COPS followed by World’s Dumbest, if you wanted to know). So you might say I owe Steven a real romantic dinner, in which I cook all the courses and for which I set the dining room table. Don’t worry, though, I’ll be sure to blog about it when I do. A belated Happy Valentine’s Day, all.

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Re-Run Fun

Posted on February 17, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

The great thing about running again is that I can always blog about my latest run. So far that’s the only good thing about it.

Just kidding. Even the most difficult run can offer its moments of satisfaction. I ran Saturday, Sunday and Monday. I took Tuesday off to cook a semi-elaborate main dish for my husband’s and my Valentine dinner (hmmm… that could be another blog post). When I take a day off, I almost always regret it the next day when it seems I want nothing more than to take that day off. But I thought it important to fix my husband a nice dinner for once. And I took my dog, Tabby, for a long walk, which is definitely important.

Still, I was tired on Wednesday. I would just like to state for the record: I am grateful for my job and I am grateful for all the overtime I’ve been getting. Doesn’t make me any less tired. On the other hand, I had eaten two cupcakes at work (a lady brought some in made by her daughter, a professional baker; don’t judge me), I wanted a blog post, and, well, the Boilermaker isn’t getting any further away (or shorter, for that matter). So off I went.

It was warmer than it had been Monday but still not warm. I was wearing a hat but not a sweatshirt. I pulled the sleeves of my long-sleeved t-shirt over my hands.

I saw the underwear I had seen on Saturday. They had moved across the street and onto the sidewalk. A stick was beside them. I pictured some kid picking the underwear up with the stick and waving them around (“Have some underwear!” “Ew! Gross!”).

I followed practically the same route I had run on Saturday, to see if it was any easier. I didn’t see a whole lot of difference, but at some point I realized I did not feel tired. Bonus! After a while I felt a difference in that some leg muscles started to hurt. I suppose that means they were working. I made a mental note not to neglect to stretch after my run.

As I ran, I reflected on the cupcakes I had eaten at work. I did not regret them, but wondered how far I really had to run to burn them off. I decided it was probably better not to look too closely into these things. Then it occurred to me, if I start running an hour or more a day to train for the Boilermaker, I can eat whatever the hell I want. You nutrition experts out there, just keep quiet. I know it’s not really true, but the words “eat whatever the hell I want” kept me going.

My not feeling tired did not stay with me for very long after the run, but I enjoyed it while it lasted. I slept very well, so we’ll give the exercise credit for that. I felt fairly energized Thursday morning. I’ll blame that on the run too. So I’m motivated to run another day. Stay tuned.

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Mid-Week Middle-aged Musings

Posted on February 16, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

It was Wednesday when I realized I had completely missed Middle-aged Musings Monday. Cue jokes about Middle-aged Memory (I can’t remember any myself).

Part of my problem is that I worked last weekend (both days) and plan to work this weekend (at least one day), so the days of the week are kind of melding together into one long, tired lump. But I’ve blogged about the Overtime Blues before; I don’t think I have anything new to say at this time (although I expect to feel less blue about it when I get my paycheck).

Another problem is that, being middle-aged as I am, time seems to move a lot quicker than it ever used to. Was it Monday again already? And yet, at some points of the day, time moves as slow as ever, as in, isn’t it lunch time yet? Come to think of it, when Friday means something to me, it seems to get here awfully slowly as well. So forget that time moving quickly thing; I don’t know where I was going with that anyways. My sister Diane says time is relative, but not our relative. So you see.

Well, there were two time related musings (just to review, as an aid to my Middle-aged Memory). Anything else about time while we’re on the subject? My watch is set on military time. I don’t know why I like to do that, since to this day I look at 17:52 and have to think, “OK that’s 5:52.” This isn’t just since the army. I’ve been using military time since my first horrible job at Burger King in the early ’80s (that’s 1980s, wise ass). The time clock was military. Wow, that was a long time ago (another timely observation).

I’m thinking some readers may find this a lame post and protest, “Hey! It’s not Friday yet!” I say, don’t remind me, especially since Friday won’t really be Friday till next Friday (see Overtime Blues, above). However, that being the case, I may not be into Lame Post Friday in two days. I’m thinking I didn’t do a Lame Post Friday last Friday either (see Middle-aged Memory, above). So think of this as your little helping of Lame for the week. Happy Wednesday.

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Valentine Wine

Posted on February 14, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

I was delighted to attend the Valentine Wine Tasting at Vintage Spirits in Herkimer, NY last Friday.

I started my sampling with a Charles de Fere Blanc de Blanc Brut. I knew that blanc de blanc was a sparkling wine — having also been made aware that the correct term is “sparkling wine,” because champagne only comes from a specific region in France. I’ve probably noted that before, but I must trot out my sophisticated wine knowledge whenever possible (and by “sophisticated” I mean I say it with a little sashay). Friday I learned that blanc de blanc is made from the Chardonnay grape. This gave me a chance to air the one other thing I know about wine.

“Is it aged in stainless steel or in oak?” I’ve discovered that I only like Chardonnay aged in stainless steel.

Bronson explained to me that the champagne method entails aging in the bottle. Boy did I feel silly with my stainless and oak sashay. I explained to a couple of other tasters about my little bit of Chardonnay knowledge and how foolishly proud I am of it.

“I was at a gathering once where they had Chardonnay in a box and I was all, ‘Is it aged in stainless or in oak?'” I gave myself a snooty tone of voice, making fun of my own pretensions. “Somebody said, ‘It’s aged in cardboard! Drink it!’ So I did.”

They were amused. It’s my favorite Chardonnay story.

A lady that started tasting after me asked how long you could keep champagne — uh, sparkling wine. Bronson said indefinitely, as long as it was not opened. I said that was good, since I’d had a bottle in the fridge for a while now. Bronson said that wasn’t so good; the vibrations could make it lose its bubbles. I asked if it would get skunked like beer if I un-chilled then re-chilled it. Bronson thought not, but I think I’ll go ahead and just drink that champagne soon. No point in taking chances.

The lady also told us about an old bottle she had acquired. She hadn’t known to store it on its side at first, so she was not sure if it had kept well. She also couldn’t quite make up her mind on an occasion to open it. I told her about Open That Bottle of Wine Day, which I heard about on NPR one time. A couple of wine aficionados had so declared a certain Saturday for just such a situation.

“What day is that?” she asked.

“I don’t remember,” I confessed. It had been a long time ago, and I had not had such a bottle at the time. However, we agreed that it would be acceptable to declare one’s own Open That Bottle Day.

I tasted a number of wines that earned my favorite accolade of “yummy.” I purchased a Chateau Blouin 2009 Bordeau. I learned that all Bordeaux are blends, and I tend to like blends (this could be dangerous: me acquiring more wine knowledge). I went home and declared it Open the Bottle I Just Bought Day.

Vintage Spirits is located at 246 Mohawk St., Herkimer, NY. Phone number is 315-866-6800. You can get on a list to receive emails about upcoming tastings. Maybe I’ll see you there!

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Returning to the Run

Posted on February 13, 2012 by mohawkvalleygirl

I know I said I’d talk about the wine tasting today, but Saturday I went running for the first time in two months. I really want to make my post about that.

I’ve been meaning to start running again for some time (actually I never meant to stop, but these things happen; we rarely live up to our ideals). For one thing, I need to make an irrevocable decision and send in my registration for the Boilermaker soon. They are reaching their limit quickly. But it is easy to put these things off, especially in the wintertime. I’m pretty sure that as long as I start by March I can get myself into good shape. Still, it’s not good to leave these things till the last minute.

It was warm early on Saturday, when I was at work and when I was performing various runnings around with Steven and/or Tabby. By the time I’d reached the end of my gyrations it had gotten colder and I had pretty much decided that next week would have to do (yes, I know, some of you are shaking your heads or your fingers at me for wasting our warm days earlier this month; please refer to my earlier parenthetical comment about living up to ideals).

When I got home I thought better of my timorous decision and searched out a pair of leggings, my long-sleeved ARMY t-shirt and a pair of winter running socks (they do make such a thing; they’re awesome). My running shoes were not far to seek since they also serve as my dog-walking shoes. I found a hat and selected a sweatshirt.

I explained to Tabby that I would be back. Tabby is always ready to walk out the door with one, but she does not enjoy running with me. I don’t let her stop and sniff enough. She looked at me reproachfully, and I set out.

About ten steps from my house I thought, “I can rock this.” By the end of my street, I was pretty sure I could not. However, one thing I have learned is to keep going anyways. It may not become easy or fun, but at least I can put the time in. I had thought to run twenty minutes if possible. Now I thought I’d see how it went. “Just run,” I told myself. “However long you run, that’s something to build on.”

So on I ran. The air was cold. My throat did not like it. I’ve never been able to do the in-through-your-nose-out-through-your-mouth trick, because my nose is usually too plugged. It was soon running. Had I remembered to put a fresh tissue in my pocket? Of course not. An old skanky but still usable one was there (sorry to gross anybody out; I’m going for accuracy here). After a good honk, I tried in-through-your-nose. Not so much. Still, these things keep you occupied for a couple of blocks and that’s no small thing.

I saw a pair of underwear on the grass between the sidewalk and the road. It reminded me that I had to do laundry. Speculation on how it got there occupied me for another couple of blocks. I saw what I thought was a wet patch in the sidewalk up ahead, then realized it was shade from the house across the street. I found that as I ran down the street, the sun would hit me in between the shadows of the houses. I had to observe that the shade in the summer is more of a relief than the sun in the winter. Still, we take what we can get.

I ran for twenty-three minutes. Tabby graciously walked a ten minute cool down with me. Then I almost forgot to stretch. Did I mention it had been two months since I ran? Ah well, now I have something to build on. And perhaps subjects for future blog posts. Stay tuned.

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