Category Archives: Lame Post Friday

Lame Minute Before the Race

Posted on July 11, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

The Boilermaker excitement continues. And could somebody please explain to me why I feel so blankety-blank NERVOUS about it? I will run 15 Ks. It will be fun. My problems of getting there and getting home afterward will be solved one way or another. There is no reason for butterflies.

One theory about why I would be nervous is that I am on my employer’s Corporate Cup Team. My time will count in a competition that could win money for a charity. I will not run fast. I never run very fast. But the others on my team already know that. They let me on the team anyways. It is no cause for distress.

Today Steven and I went to the Boilermaker Expo at Mohawk Valley Community College to pick up my race packet. This was another source of stress. Drive to Utica, find a parking space, make my way through a crowd — regular readers know I have trouble with all these things. The little trip went off without a hitch. One would expect me to feel relief.

And here I sit with my wrist to my forehead (figuratively speaking, that is), knowing that I am being completely stupid and self-dramatizing. These are not insurmountable problems, I tell myself. Quit being such a big baby!

Perhaps my problem is not the Boilermaker 15K at all. Perhaps my problem is that this is the last Friday of my two week break. I will run the Boilermaker Sunday and go back to work on Monday. I believe this is something that could cause any rational person at least some amount of distress.

On the brighter side, I can look forward to next Friday, when Friday will MEAN something again. It won’t be the end of my days off, it will be the beginning of my days off. Yes, it will be two days rather than two weeks, must you bring up the negative aspects of everything?

In the meantime, don’t mind me. I’m just being foolish. I really am looking forward to the Boilermaker. I’m even looking forward to the short, easy run I intend to take tomorrow morning. I like to run.

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Posted in humor, Lame Post Friday, personal and tagged Boilermaker, Boilermaker 15K, Mohawk Valley Community College, nerves, nervous, running, The Boilermaker, Utica NY, wrist to forehead. Bookmark the permalink.

Name Brand Lame

Posted on July 4, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Is it Lame Post Friday or a Blogger’s Sick Day? I feel really bad, too, because I had some good topics to write about. Only I can’t seem to write today. I can’t even read, if that gives you any indication (and it should). Oh dear, now it is turning into Wrist to Forehead Friday. Oh poor, pitiful me!

Um, those last two lines were me making fun of me. Nobody has to chime in with any unkind remarks, unless such behavior is essential to your own health and well-being.

I woke up with a headache today. I did not think it was too bad at first, but it escalated. Still not too worried, I took some Equate Migraine Relief (just a little gratuitous product placement) and a nap. I have spent the rest of the day fairly headache-free but SO LIGHTHEADED! It sucks to be me!

On the brighter side, that parenthetical comment gave me a topic to expound upon at least briefly. Product placement is often derided on movies and television. Some people believe the producers are merely sucking up extra bucks from the manufacturers of those products. We, the poor hapless viewers, are tricked into watching high quality commercials which will no doubt hypnotize us into purchasing said products.

However, it seems to me that to NOT have the products placed is to take away from the realism of the scene. For example, when was the last time you walked into a bar and ordered “a beer”? Nobody does that! They ask for a Labatt’s or a Heinekin. They might possibly say, “What do you have on tap?” but they expect to hear specific brands listed and to pick one.

The fact is we are a brand name society. Some people drive the same make of car for decades. Others are intensely loyal to a certain brand of sneakers. And there is the tendency to mix up brand with product, as in calling tissues “Kleenex” and photocopies “xeroxes.”

Oh, I know, many people eschew brand names and are proud to do so. My Equate pills are, of course, a store brand, which are cheaper than the Excedrin they imitate. I purchase store brands in many of my favorite foods.

It raises an interesting question. Which is better? When are you paying for just the name? I have long threatened to have a party where I serve two of every refreshment, one name brand, one store brand and solicit comment. You know, one dip with Crowley Sour Cream and Lipton Onion Soup Mix, one with Hannaford versions of same, served with store and name chips, of course. The advantage of this, of course, is I’ll have twice the chips and dip. I do love chips and dip.

My running shoes have been name brand for years. I wear different brands, but I haven’t worn a non-name since I started to enjoy running in the army. My non-running shoes have been… whatever I happen to pick up at a good price.

How about you, dear readers? Are you loyal to any brands or do you proudly purchase whatever is cheapest? Do you perceive a difference in quality? Do you feel a blogger like me should refrain from making lame posts when feeling light-headed from non-name over the counter drugs? Are you having a nice Friday?

Mine has been intermittently enjoyable.

Shockingly Lame

Posted on June 27, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I already used the title “Better Lame than Never,” back in2011. That is too bad, because it is almost 9 p.m. and I have not yet made my blog post for today. It shall be lame. It shall be late. Shall I not make a blog post? NEVER!

My husband and I are sitting on our deck. Steven is attempting to turn on our party lights by plugging them in. This is problematic, because the plug has a cover that does not open all the way. I understand that it is good to have a cover for outdoor lights. There are things like rain and snow outdoors, after all. But why put a cover on it that does not open all the way? For heavens’ sake, just put a full hinge on it!

I feel I must exercise caution in this, because of a thing that happened to me many years ago. I was in junior high. My family had a pop-up camper that my dad kept set up in the backyard most of the summer. My sisters and I used it for sleepovers. On this particular night, my friend Iris and I were sleeping there.

To turn on the lights, you had to plug them in. It was quite dark by the time Iris and I made our way to the camper. I found the cord. I found where to plug it in. I guided it carefully with one finger…

I screamed very loudly.

I recall having no control but being forced to make a very loud scream. I got the light plugged in and learned a valuable lesson about completing a circuit.

Tonight, Steven got the string on party lights turned on with no physical pain other than whatever was occasioned by crouching down for an annoying length of time.

And that is the advantage of middle age over adolescence.

By the Way, I Didn’t Run Either

Posted on June 20, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

This is Writer’s Blank. I cannot think of a thing to say beyond lamenting the fact that I cannot think of a thing to say.

Do I really intend to post ANOTHER entry about Not Writing? Oh, you knew I was going to get around to it sooner or later. My actual plan today is to write this right now so at least I am writing something, then put it in my Save Draft section for use in an emergency. Of course, I have tried this plan before only to publish it right away, because I did not have anything else.

I wrote the above last September, never finished it, never put it in Save Drafts. I wish to heaven I had, because I’ve got a busy weekend ahead and no blog posts in sight.

At least, I wrote a post earlier this week and I had another Mohawk Valley adventure last night. Additionally, I plan to go running after work, which is usually good for a few hundred words. Moreover, it is Lame Post Friday. There is no need whatsoever to stress about what to write for my blog post. By my own self-imposed rules, I am off the proverbial hook (remember that: if you ever want to use a cliche, just insert the word “proverbial” and you’re being self-aware and self-deprecating. Maybe even post-ironic, my favorite).

Full disclosure: I’m not even having Writer’s Blank today. I wrote another scene in my novel which actually — dare I hope? — advanced the plot. But you know how it is, you get to the end of a scene and you’re done, unless you can think of another scene, which I could not.

Further disclosure: My weekend got a little less stressed after I wrote the fourth paragraph when Saturday overtime got cancelled. I would even have time to think of a real, non-lame Friday post, if I felt so inclined.

Obviously I do not. Now I’m only sitting here trying to think of a good Lame headline. So far nothing is coming.

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Excuse Me, I’m Having a Lame Here

Posted on May 30, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I have two days left of Finish That Novel May. Earlier I was toying with the idea of denying I ever said that.

“No, no, what I said was, ‘I MAY Finish That Novel.’ You misheard me.”

The writing took a turn for the better since yesterday. I wrote and wrote. Maybe if I cancelled all my plans for the weekend and wrote non-stop… I think we all know that is not going to happen. For one reason, I have had weekends when I had no plans at all. I have not written non-stop. For another reason, my plans are important and not just for me. I have a life outside of this novel.

And there we have it. Am I allowed to have a life outside of being a writer? I’m sure there are people out there who would say (hear it in that squeaky, nyah-nyah voice we mimic people we hate in): “If writing is important to you, you’ll write.” And then they go on to list all the things THEY have given up to write. Which is nice, if it is the things they HAVE given up and not the things they would have given up if, in fact, they wrote and didn’t just go around telling others how to write.

Oh, OK, other writers do make sacrifices of things they might like to do in order to write. So do I. Sometimes. Perhaps I need to sacrifice a little more. The thing is, I have always been of the opinion that the more you experience, the more material you have to work with. That, and when I was younger, I really wanted to LIVE. I had spent a lot of time sitting at home reading or writing stories. Once I got older, I got out and DID things. I guess I kind of got in the habit of it.

Of course, going out and doing things is good for a writer of a daily blog. But we’re talking about a novel today. On the other hand, we are writing a blog post. A Lame Friday Post. And I declare it done. I am going back to my life. Maybe write a little more on that novel.

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Power Lame Mower

Posted on May 16, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Yes, it is another Lame Post Friday, my day of random observations and half-baked philosophy. I seem to remember earlier this week threatening to philosophize (half-bakedly, of course) about how many of us hate to be reminded about things we ought to be doing (especially if we ought to be doing them without being reminded). Well, I don’t feel like it. If you would like to remind me that I ought to do what I say I am going to do, feel free.

I went for another run this afternoon after work. I did not run as far. I certainly did not run fast (I didn’t run fast yesterday either, but I believe I ran less slowly). I composed a Running Commentary blog post in my head as I ran. I’m not going to write it up now. How many Running Commentaries do my readers want to read? No, seriously, I’m asking, how many Running Commentary blog posts do you think are good?

After my short run, I attempted to mow the lawn. I can’t get the power mower started so I used the non-power one I purchased for precisely that reason. It does not work as well, but I did what I could with it. Then I did some stuff with a garden implement purchased by my husband. It consists of a short double blade on a handle. You can swing it back and forth and cut things down. I attempted to do this with the tall dandelions which had eluded the mower.

I felt like I was doing battle. The enemy was much smaller than me, but I was way outnumbered. Swish, swipe, try that again. Wait, there are some more. Look behind me. I’m surrounded! At last many of them lay dead or wounded. Oh dear, that is a terrible image. I had no idea I was so blood-thirsty. Oh, OK, I really did.

My beloved schnoodle, Tabby, is once again not feeling well. I throw that in as a blatant bid for some sympathy. Steven and I are worried about our sweet dog. I hate to end on a down note, but that is really all I have today. Hope you are having a non-lame Friday.

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Posted in humor, Lame Post Friday, personal and tagged blog post, blogging, dandelions, half-baked philosophy, lawn mower, random observations, running, running commentary, Tabby. Bookmark the permalink.

To My Lame Self Be True

Posted on May 9, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

One can always write something. Yes, I have said that before. It bears repeating. If the project at hand really, truly cannot progress, turn the page (or turn back a few pages; my notebook is not the least bit organized) and work on something else.

Of course, this is tricky. Sometimes if one perseveres in looking at the blank page, one finds one is able to progress on the project at hand after all. Sometimes after working on something else, one never returns to the original stalled project.

On the other hand, sometimes projects stall for a reason. Putting your head down and bulling your way through is not always the best way to go. Except when it is.

Oh, here I am working up into that old saw, “To thine own self be true” (old saw as in ancient truism, nothing to do with those hideous movies) (yes, I KNOW some people loved those movies; let’s not get distracted on matters of taste, shall we?).

All of the preceding may have led some readers to deduce that Finish That Novel May is not going as well as I had hoped. This would be an accurate deduction. However, if one inferred that I successfully worked on another project (not just this silly blog post), that, too, would be accurate.

I tried to progress on the novel. Finding that not going so well (or, indeed, going anywhere at all), I turned back a few pages and wrote some more on one of my articles for the June issue of Mohawk Valley Living magazine. I think it’s pretty good. I felt pretty happy with it. So I turned some pages forward, past the stalled novel, and wrote the first four paragraphs of this post.

It being Lame Post Friday, I shall feel free to publish this as my blog post. Since I have proven to myself that I can so write (at least SOMETHING), I shall tackle the novel once again. As always, thank you for playing.

T.G.I.L.P.F.

Posted on May 2, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

You know that means Thank God It’s Lame Post Friday, right? Otherwise, all my work has been for naught (said with my wrist on my forehead). Not really, of course. I just felt like being dramatic.

It is not just Lame Post Friday, though. It is the first day of Finish That Novel May. I am putting it out there in order to put myself on the spot. I have declared to the world that I am going to finish my novel. I have 31 days to make good on that boast.

Yikes.

I did write a few notes on the novel, and I wrote a letter to my sister in which I talked about my plans for tackling the project. Now I must get on to the real work. However, right now it is Lame Post Friday, my day for random observations and half-baked philosophy.

I did observe a nice-looking dog outside a house when I looked out the window at work today (of course, I like to think all dogs are nice). He was a biggish brown mutt, lying comfortably on a front walk, just chilling. Yesterday on my way home I observed a springer spaniel puppy, jumping happily on the fence to greet a passerby. At least, I think it was a spaniel. You know I don’t know from breeds.

My own dog continues to improve from last week’s malady. We keep giving her the medicine prescribed.

I must plan some Mohawk Valley adventures for tomorrow. For this reason, I shall skip the half-baked philosophy portion of Lame Post Friday, hit publish and carry on with my Friday. Hope you’re all having a lovely beginning of the weekend.

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Give Me Lame! Or Give Me Debt!

Posted on April 25, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Well I didn’t want to say “death.” That seemed too dark for Mohawk Valley Girl. And “give me debt” is appropriate, because I would owe you a blog post if I did not make one today.

You may have realized I did not write anything while at work today. No blog post, at any rate. I thought it would be OK, since I knew I would walk Tabby, my delightful schnoodle, after work. If nothing else, a Pedestrian Post is always acceptable (to me, anyways).

WELL, when I got home from work this afternoon, my poor dog was not her usual happy, jumpy self. No joyous barks preceded my unlocking the door. No furry white body jumped on me as I opened it.

“Where’s my dog?” I asked, a question that usually brings her running. Then I saw her, moving hesitantly from her usual end of the couch to my usual end of the couch. Poor honey!

We had some excellent plans for the evening but feel we should stay home with our ailing canine. Of course I must still make a blog post, and one would think I could still come up with something mildly amusing at least. Unfortunately, not so much. I think my headline is the only marginally good thing I’ve come up with so far.

Never mind. It is a My Doggy Is Sick Day. Real employers do not recognize such days (many of them barely recognize your own sick days, the bastards). However, this is my own silly blog. I’m going back to petting my dog gently and just being with her. I hope you are all having a lovely Friday.

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I Wouldn’t Call This Polished

Posted on April 18, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

So much for my idea of writing blog posts ahead (it worked for me before, dammit). I do have a draft saved. It started out to be a simple running commentary. Then I found myself embarked upon a whole essay about writing. I feel it was not contemptible but yet want to edit. Edit on Lame Post Friday? NEVER!

Well, no, I often edit somewhat, even when composing at the keyboard. At least I proofread (yes, yes, sometimes I miss a typo, what’s your point?). But I like Lame Post Friday to be more spontaneous and leisurely , but not polished and fussed over (yes, yes, I know, if it looks fussed over, you’ve fussed too much, will you go find somebody else to bother?).

I am not composing this at the keyboard, by the way. I am handwriting rather messily in a spiral notebook on the table in the break area at work, prior to my shift start. College ruled paper, ballpoint pen, black ink, if you enjoy that sort of detail.

I find that writing before work puts me in a happy mood. As long as it goes well. I ought to be in a happy mood anyways, because it is Friday. Also , today begins another Fabulous Wine Tasting Weekend with some family members. Good folks, good times, what’s not to like? No doubt I’ll write a blog post about it. In the meantime, Happy Friday, everybody!

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