Dear Abby I’m Not

It is often a mistake to give people advice.  They do not appreciate it.

For example, at work today, one guy started pushing another guy with his shoulder.  The other guy pushed back.  Back and forth, back and forth.

“Knock him down and step on his head,” I advised the second guy.

“Knock him down and step on his face!” exclaimed the first guy.

“No, I said, ‘Knock him down and step on his head.'”

A third co-worker asked what was going on.

“She wants him to knock me down and step on my face!”

“No, I said to knock you down and step on your HEAD, that is not the same thing.”

The guy I gave the advice to thought it was a terrible thing for me to tell him to do.

“It’s just an expression,” I told him.  “You know, ‘I’ll knock you down and step on your head!'”

“I’ve never heard that.”

“Oh well, I guess I made it up.”  Still, I’ve been saying it for years.  I’m sure it ought to be a well-known expression by now.

Long story short (I know, too late): He did not take my advice or even appreciate that I offered it.

This is a true story. I thought about it as I was running, and I thought it might be OK for a Non-Sequitur Thursday post.

 

I Am a Dancing Fool

I may have mentioned in passing that Steven and I danced the night away at the Silverado Inn last Saturday.  We’re still talking about what a fun night we had.

We had made our plans to go a week or two before,when I saw an article in the Utica O-D about a band called Mersey Side 5, which has been together for 50 years.  Impressive, but what really caught my attention was that we know two of the members.  Rick DeJohn, on bass, has been our sound and light guy at Ilion Little Theatre for some time now.   He is a great musician, an all-around awesome person and our very good friend.  Rick Short, guitar and vocals, is of course leader of the Rick Short Band, a hard-rocking group we enjoy very much.

After our stressful week last week, we were not sure if we would be up for going out, with the result that we did not organize a bunch of friends to go with us.  I ended up feeling very bad about that, but I really did not want to say, “Hey, let’s go!” then be too sad and tired to enjoy it.

We arrived early and sat in a booth.  Steven got us beers while I greeted a friend from work.  I had not been at the Silverado on a Saturday night in years.  I have, however, enjoyed numerous fundraisers there on a Sunday, most notably the HALO Hoedown in September.  I noticed a lot of older people in the crowd, and by “older” of course I mean my age (middle).

Soon the music started and things got really fun.  We danced to almost every song, as did a lot of people.  It was a nice bunch, too.  When things got crowded on the dance floor, nobody got annoyed at being bumped into.  As it said in the article, the band played classic rock, including music by The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Kinks, The Animals and more.  It was one good dance tune after another!  We loved it.

We would have stayed and danced as long as the band played, but Steven had to work the next day.  As it was, we didn’t get to bed till after midnight.  It did not matter.  Such a fun time is worth feeling a little tired the next day.  I hope we get a chance to hear Mersey Side 5 again soon.

 

I’ll Never Say No Comment

I had thought to have a Running Commentary today.  After all, I have not done one in a while.  I’m sure some readers will be interested to hear how my Boilermaker training is progressing.  Other readers may enjoy my observations of the village of Herkimer.   Still others may enjoy the smug feeling that they ran further and did not have as hard a time of it.

 

It poured rain this morning, then cleared up around lunch time.  Perhaps I could run outdoors.  A line of thunderstorms came through after lunch.  I knew I wouldn’t run in a thunderstorm, but thunderstorms never last that long.  Then I started thinking:  the rain may stop but there will still be lots of puddles.  My new running shoes are pretty.  I KNOW they will eventually get all dirty and faded, but I just can’t bear for it to be the second time I wear them.

 

Additionally, my back and my knees have been bothering me.  I know, I know,  if I lose weight that will help.  OK already!  I’ll eat more vegetables!  Running can help one lose weight as well.  I had no intention of skipping my run.  Maybe wear my old sneakers?

 

I decided to run indoors on the mini-tramp.  I could finish watching The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, the silent movie on DVD I had started to watch last week when I ran in place on the mini tramp.  It would be easier on the back and knees.  And it would still count as exercise.

 

The only problem is, I don’t think it makes for as good a commentary.  On the other hand, I’m over 250 words just talking about my dithery thoughts getting to the run.  I think we’ll call that OK for a Tired Tuesday.

 

Maybe a Thunderstorm Would Have Helped

Today is Mental Meanderings Monday.  Last Monday I said I could not make up my mind between Mental Meanderings and Monday-Middle-aged Musings, but today I feel pretty meandery.  My mind wanders.  If my feet didn’t hurt so much my body might wander, but let’s not worry about that right now.

 

This happens sometimes, as long time readers may have noticed.  I’ll go days and weeks of dumb post after dumb post.  The sad thing is, many of these days I am so writing something during the day.  Then I kind of peter out before I get to the blog post.  I know, I should write the blog post first.  I’ll try that tomorrow.

 

Today was a sticky, muggy day.   I do not feel as if my brain is fried, but perhaps it may have been steamed.  And not crisp-tender, like my vegetables when they turn out right.   Limp, discolored, useless.

 

We were promised thunder storms.  Many of my co-workers spend half the day on their smart phones, looking at the internet or getting texts from their loved ones.  In the latter case, the loved ones have often been on some device to get the weather and share what they have learned.  So I heard severe thunderstorms were headed our way.  Then I heard there was a tornado watch.

 

“If there is a tornado, I’m not going to watch,” I said.  “I’ll go into my skanky basement and hide.”  My basement is pretty skanky.  It wasn’t that great to start with and it has never recovered from the flood of 2013.  I am not motivated to do much about it, although I suppose it would behoove me to do so.

 

Local readers know there were no thunder storms, much less any tornadoes.  We had rain.  Which means I do not have to water my plants again today.  Score!  I’m going to hit Publish on this piece of nonsense and pick up a notebook (do I need to specify I mean the spiral-bound paper kind?) and get a start on tomorrow’s post.

 

Now Is YOUR Wrist On Your Forehead?

I am NOT having Wrist to Forehead Sunday, as I threatened to in the final paragraph of yesterday’s post.  My wrist is nowhere NEAR my forehead (something I’ve noticed about myself:  I like to intersperse my writings with all caps for emphasis).  I am in a relatively cheerful mood, considering, among other problems, that I have no idea of what to write a blog post about.

 

Then again, how many posts are like this?  Is it getting old yet?  Who cares if it is?  I’m old too!  So there!

 

OK, I’m being silly, because I like to be silly.  I had a good, long run this morning.  Over an hour.  I was actually psyched to write a Running Commentary about it.  Then I sat down at the keyboard (still this morning) and couldn’t do it.  Why not?  I don’t know.  It happens sometimes.  Sometimes you can say to yourself, “Oh, just write that post,” and do it.  Sometimes not so much.

 

I had a marvelous time last night, hearing a band at a local spot.  I had a fun time this afternoon, attending an event at an area historical attraction.  I intend to write blog posts about both subjects.  But I want to sit at my notebook and ponder, write, edit and write some more.  You know, make a good job of  it.

 

That, I suppose, is dangerous.  Now people may be Expecting something of me.  Perhaps they already do.  Well, I can’t help it if they are doomed to disappointment.  I can only write what I can write.  Let’s see what I can write tomorrow.  I do hope somebody will tune in.

 

Lame Wrist to Forehead Saturday?

I am having yet another very bad Saturday, as I am plagued with yet another headache.  Yes, I am keeping track of my headaches in a little notebook.  When I feel I have gathered enough data, I will return to my doctor (it is actually a nurse practitioner or physician assistant or some such) and say, “Help!”  However, my purpose in making a blog post is not to complain (I know, could have fooled you), but to entertain.

 

I only said “entertain” to rhyme.  My purpose in writing a blog is the purely selfish one of wanting to write every day.  The fact that some people kind of sort of like reading it is a delightful by-product that feeds my petty ego.

 

You may have guessed that I am being a little silly today.  I feel that after my stressful week, a day of blah-blahing at the keyboard, trying to be funny might be nice.  For me anyways.  For my readers, of course you are the judge.  Since I did not do a Lame Post Friday (although some may have found yesterday’s post, as well as many others, fairly lame, but let’s not go there), I thought Lame Post Saturday would be OK.  Then I thought my bad headache and lack of productivity made a Wrist to Forehead post also eligible.  Of course now I must strive NOT to have a Wrist to Forehead post tomorrow, but we’ll see how that goes, won’t we?

 

I tried to get a few things done today.  I went for a long run including a pretty good hill this morning.  That was nice.  At least, parts of it were nice.  You know how that goes.  My run made me determined to make it to the Sneaker Store in New Hartford, NY, for new running shoes, a mission which I also accomplished (and I might write a blog post about) (preview of coming attractions).  After that, my headache felt even worse and I could do no more than come home.

 

Last week I tried to get things done despite my headache, because I had people coming over in the evening.  My headache blessedly left me by the time my guests arrived, and a good time was had by all (perhaps I should have written about that).  This week I decided to give myself a break and nurse the damn headache.  Migraine Relief, decongestant and two naps later,  I feel a little better.  A cup of coffee seems to be having a beneficial effect which this morning’s cups lacked.

 

So life is getting better.  It shall improve more when my wonderful husband Steven returns from work.  We are still getting used to the large hole left in our hearts and lives by the sad departure of our beloved dog, but we help each other.  Sorry to bring up my poor Tabby again, but I’m sure other pet owners understand.

 

Ah, now I’ve done it. I ended on a down note instead of being entertaining.  That puts the wrist back onto the forehead, doesn’t it?  Tune in tomorrow, when  Mohawk Valley Girl says, “Where the hell should I put my wrist NOW?  Don’t answer that!”

 

Snort

When I left work today I headed towards Herkimer County Humane Society.  I had a partial bag of dog food and three partial containers of treats that I hoped would go to good use.  Last night I visited the society’s website and ascertained that they were open till five.

 

The first person I ran into when I entered asked if she could help me.  I explained my sad purpose.  She expressed sympathy for my poor dog’s demise and said they would be happy to take the food.  I explained my second purpose, to walk a dog.  She took me into the reception room and got me a volunteer application to fill out.

 

When I turned in the form to another lady, my fears were confirmed.  I could not walk a dog that day.  The application must be approved by the board.  She also explained that when walking the dogs I must not let them interact with any other dogs or people, for safety reasons.

 

“But I can’t walk a dog today?” I said, probably sounding as forlorn as I felt.  The lady took pity on me and said I could take Snort out, just into the front yard.

 

Snort is a bulldog who had breaks in his back legs.  He was operated on and seems to be recovering nicely.  He had not been outside today, and my taking him out would give them a chance to clean his room.

 

Snort did not look like a dog recovering from surgery.  He wanted to jump and run.  I tried to get him to walk sedately.  At least I kept him from jumping or really taking off.  We made our way across the yard and back.  Some people saw us and said, “Oh, there’s Snort!”

 

“I’m not supposed to let him get close to people,” I said, keeping my distance.  Snort sat down on my feet and panted happily.  I petted him and told him he was a good dog.

 

“We’ve been following his progress on Facebook,”  one of the people told me.

 

I was happy to have spent a little time with Snort.  When I got home I told Steven of my experiences.

 

“Oh, yeah, I know Snort from Facebook,” Steven said.  Perhaps I need to spend more time on Facebook.

 

When I get my letter of approval from the Humane Society, I will go walk more dogs.

 

Too Many Tins?

After I left Coffee and Conversation with a Cop Saturday morning I headed out 5S toward the Herkimer County Humane Society for their garage sale.  Full disclosure:  with my headache, long to-do list and limited finances, I was not as excited about going as I might have been.  Still, it was a worthy cause, I might find something fun, and I could probably get a blog post out of it.

 

All kinds of items were spread out across the lawn:  Christmas decorations, books, games, household goods and more.  A man with a loud voice walked around exhorting people to look at this or that and to purchase 50/50 raffle tickets.

 

The first thing that caught my eye was a box of tins.  Steven especially loves tins.  He likes to put Christmas presents in them.  “Put a present in a present,” he says.  I wanted to take them all but on second thought went through and picked the ones I liked best.  Perhaps it would be more accurate to say I eliminated a few I liked least, because I still wound up with quite a pile.  It took me three trips to get them all to the table where the workers were taking money.

 

A nice lady went to get a bag (or bags) for them while I went back through the yard, looking for other treasurers.  I hoped to find a couple of good books, and by good books of course I mean trashy romances or murder mysteries.  Nothing caught my eye right away, and I decided I should just leave with my pile of tins and have done with.

 

Paying presented a challenge.  Nothing was priced; the lady said to think about the animals and make a donation.  Oh dear.  When I think about the animals I feel I should give them all the money in my purse.  On the other hand, I have expenses of my own.  I finally named a price and asked her to throw in a 50/50 ticket.  She readily agreed (I did not win).

 

As I left, I complimented the loud-voiced man on his skills as a barker.  He said he had a big mouth (he may have said “loud voice,”  I don’t remember) so he used it for good.

 

“I always say go with your strengths,” I said.  I do always say that.

 

I guess it is appropriate that my first post-Tabby post is about helping the dogs (and cats) at the Humane Society.  They are having their annual Mutt Strut on Sunday, June 7.  When I said to a co-worker that I no longer have a mutt to strut, she pointed out that the Humane Society would be happy to loan me one.  I had forgotten they allow people to come over and walk their dogs sometimes.  I must look into that.  It is good to walk a dog.

 

For more information on the Herkimer County Humane Society, visit their website at www.herkhumane.org.  You can also Like them on Facebook.

 

A Very Sad Day for Me

There will not be a post today, nor yet any witty commentary on why there will not be one.  Our beloved schnoodle, our dear, sweet Tabby is no more.  She began to seem really ill Monday night.  Today (Wednesday), Steven took her to the vet where they discovered cancer.  There was nothing they could do.

 

I am, as you may guess, unbearably sad right now.  I knew dogs don’t last as long as people, but I had thought ours would last longer than she did.  Seven wonderful years we had with her.  We will always be happy and grateful for those years.

 

I hope to return to regular blog posts tomorrow.  Thank you for your patience and understanding.

 

I Return to the Cops

For the past few months for one reason or another I have missed Coffee and Conversation with a Cop so I was determined to go last Saturday, May 30.

 

The program runs from 9 to 11 a.m. on the last Saturday of the month at the First Baptist Church of  Herkimer on the corner of Green and Washington streets in Herkimer, NY.  The aim is to foster a better relationship between citizens and police, thus improving the quality of life in our village.  I am all about improving my beloved Herkimer.  Also, the session is a golden opportunity for me to ask questions about police work relating to the novel I am still trying to write.

 

Another bonus, for me at least, is the refreshments.  I enjoyed a nice cup of coffee and some homemade scones and cookies that were to die for.  I should have asked for the recipes.  But I digress.

 

Two officers sat at the tables when I arrived shortly after nine.  One was in a lively discussion with several participants, but the other looked free, so I cornered him with my novel inquiries.  Oh well, I guess “cornered” is an exaggeration.  I sat down near him with my coffee and scone, and opened my notebook.

 

He was gracious and informative.  I took care not to let my novel dominate the conversation but tried to think of questions that would be of interest to others.  Others sitting at our table also had questions.

 

One question that came up was what to look for if one suspected the neighbors of nefarious activities (nobody actually said “nefarious.”  I just like that word).   Batteries?  Chemicals?  It is not always easy to know if something is suspicious, because things can have multiple explanations.  For example, comings and goings at odd hours may indicate shift work.  A good solution is to get to know your neighbors, which of course is not always easy these days.

 

This idea of Neighborhood Watches was brought up. The officers emphasized that a Watch was just that.  If we observe something wrong, we should call the police and not try to take action ourselves.

 

“That’s how you become a headline,” I said.

 

The officers had brought fliers keeping your home secure.  I especially liked the one titled “Beware of the Bogus Caller,” which featured a cartoon of a man with an evil grin on the front.  The flier had good advice, but I thought it was a funny picture.

 

I only stayed and chatted for about an hour, because I had many things to do and a headache to contend with (just to throw in a line about my petty personal problems), but I was glad I attended.  I feel it makes me look at my village as a whole and gives me a different perspective from my usual Mohawk Valley adventures.