Put Another Lame on the Fire

Posted on December 14, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Um, you guys get that, right? You know, like “put another log on the fire”? Oh well, one does one’s poor best.

So it is Lame Post Friday and I am even more lame than usual. And I’m working under a deadline, because World’s Dumbest comes on at six (it’s 5:46 as I type this), and I would really like a glass of wine. However, don’t drink and type (oh, like one glass of wine would make me substantially more lame than I am the rest of the time!).

All day at work today, I thought about writing (while still getting my work done, OF COURSE). I alternately pondered what to write on my blog and where to go next on my novel. I came to no conclusions on either one. I’m in a tighter corner on the novel, though. One character has another by the scruff of the neck, and I have no idea who it is. That is, the one being held by the hoodie. I know who’s doing the holding.

Oh dear, now I’ve said too much. I try not to talk too much about the novel I’m working on. It never helps, and it only makes me look more foolish when I don’t finish that novel. Of course, silence does not come naturally to me (see Monday’s post) (you’ll have to arrow back; I’m on the acer, and I don’t know how to make a link)(oh, I’ll save you the trouble if you missed it, it was just about how much I talk, which is a lot).

Where was I? Ah yes, having said too much. Luckily, I see my word count is now over 250, a respectable length for me. On with the weekend! I even have time to pour the wine before I tune into TruTV.

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If You Like Voodoo Curses

Posted on December 13, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

When I started to watch The Devil’s Own (1966), another movie I DVR’d in October, I was delighted to find that it was from Hammer Studios. I love Hammer movies!

Unfortunately, this one did not entertain me as much as, for example. Frankenstein Created Woman. I think I like monsters better than voodoo curses and devil worshipers. But that’s just me.

Spoiler Alert! This is another write-up where I’m pretty much going to recount the plot. What can I say? These are fun for me to write.

The movie starts out scarily enough with Joan Fontaine frantically packing to leave an African village before… something happens. The natives helping her sensibly flee in terror. She turns around and sees a scary voodoo doll. OK, I cracked up a little at the doll.

Then the door bursts open and a giant mask comes through. You can’t even tell if there’s really a person behind it, so I can see where that would be a little disconcerting. Fontaine screams and collapses.

I thought at first she was about to get killed and that I had been mistaken in thinking it was Joan Fontaine. However, the next scene finds her, some time later, in England interviewing to be a headmistress at a school. With a nervous smile, she glosses over her “health problems,” by which we surmise she had some sort of nervous breakdown in Africa. Or something. Of course she gets the job; we knew that from the description on digital cable.

And then the movie slows right down. Oh, stuff happens. But it’s your basic human interaction kind of plot. This weird girl is being romanced by a boy, to the distress of her grandmother. Other villagers seem concerned as well, so there’s a bit of creepy foreshadowing.

About the time the boy falls victim to a voodoo curse (which we, the audience immediately recognize) (some characters are slower on the uptake, despite the headless Ken doll found on a tree branch), I made the note that I prefer monsters. After that, things get a little more exciting. Spoiler alert notwithstanding, I don’t want to give everything away.

It really was not a bad movie. When things got a little slow for my tastes, I amused myself by studying Joan Fontaine’s face, looking for a family resemblance with Olivia de Havilland. I think it’s there, especially in certain expressions, but I’ll have to watch Hush… Hush… Sweet Charlotte again to be sure.

The climactic scenes are scary or comical, depending on how you feel about devil worshipers writhing in a dance of… something or other. It gets suspenseful, although anybody paying any attention (even my desultory kind), knows how Fontaine can ultimately triumph. Oh dear, did I just give something else away? Sorry.

I enjoyed the movie. And I got a bit of crocheting done, which is important to me this time of year. But for my next Hammer film, I’m hoping for a monster.

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Two Block Tabby

Posted on December 12, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Now that winter weather is here, it becomes more of an effort to take our schnoodle, Tabby, for a walk. This being Wuss-Out Wednesday, I suppose I could write a post about how I’m too damn much of a wuss to take my dog for a walk today. However, dogs like to go for walks. Our dog is a very sweet, good dog. We took her for a walk.

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday (today) have all been cold. I know, not as cold as it’s going to get. In our defense, Steven and I are both still convalescent from last week’s colds (the head kind, not the weather). I told Steven he could stay home, but he agreed to walk with us.

We went two blocks, taking a different direction each night. That way we could check out different neighbors’ Christmas lights. I make myself obnoxious by pointing out each house with lights and each tree visible through a window. As a testament to what a good husband Steven is, he does not find it obnoxious.

It was cold but not particularly windy. Till tonight, when we were two blocks from our house and turned a corner. Yikes! Right in our faces! Of course this was the block Tabby found the most things she wanted to sniff. I was happy I had worn a scarf.

My favorite kind of lights are different colored and not blinking. I especially like when there are a lot of them. My favorite house has three trees, a wreath, and lights around the porch railing and pillars, all different colors, none blinking. But I enjoy the blinking lights as well. I particularly notice the new icicle lights, that actually look like they’re dripping.

One lady was standing on her porch, talking to another lady and a little girl.

“Pretty lights,” I said.

“Thank you,” she replied.

I wanted to say, “No, no, thank you!” Because I think it’s nice for people to hang lights and brighten up the neighborhood.

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Vampires and a Big Reveal

Posted on December 11, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

BIG Spoiler Alert! Seriously, if you’re going to watch Mark of the Vampire (1935), PLEASE do it before reading my silly write-up.

I will, in fact, try to write about this movie without giving away the big reveal, but I don’t know how successful I will be. In fact, already I’ve said too much.

In pre-movie commentary, Robert Osborne says Mark of the Vampire is a murder mystery as well as a vampire movie. I think that gives away a lot right there, and he didn’t even give a spoiler alert. Anyways, I think it is mostly a vampire movie.

The movie begins, as these things often do, with travelers being warned to go nowhere after dark. This is all we see of the travelers, so I guess those actors did not have very good agents. The vampire(s) (I don’t think people know at this point how many there are), it seems, is (are) after folks that have lived in the area for some time.

I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s very good scripting. Of course we don’t want characters reiterating to each other stuff they darn well already know. That would be like me saying to Steven, “As you know, we’re married and have a cute little dog.” However, I think there are better ways to set up background than sticking in extraneous characters we are never going to see again, just so they can get warned.

Perhaps I am too demanding. Anyways, that was an easy way to fill up a paragraph without giving away any major plot points (except to let you know you aren’t going to see those travelers again).

Bela Lugosi is the main vampire, and I wished he would have gotten more screen time. He is very mysterious and scary when he shows up, though, so that’s good. There is another, younger, girl vampire. She is spooky, but the actress does not have Lugosi’s gifts. She doesn’t act so much as walk around slowly with a completely blank look on her face. I suppose that is what the part called for and what the director told her to do, but I didn’t think she had the presence to carry if off properly. Oh well, she was young. I daresay she improved if she went on (didn’t make a note of the actress’ name).

Lionel Barrymore is a vampire expert. I just adore Lionel Barrymore. I don’t care if he puts the beautiful girl in danger to catch the vampires. That’s what a movie vampire expert is supposed to do.

Osborne warns us that nothing is as it seems, and that is pretty much the case. It is one of those movies where, after you find out the big secret, you kind of want to watch it again, to see if they were really playing fair. I’m actually pretty sure they did not play fair (I know some of you are saying, “Whatever that means”), because in post-movie commentary, Osborne tells us the actors did not know the big reveal till they actually filmed those scenes.

Since this is a personal blog, I feel free to interject here that I would be majorly ticked off at a director that played that kind of a game with me. If it is something my character knows, I certainly want to know it. If it is something my character doesn’t know, I would still prefer to know it and ACT. But that’s just me; I’m not all method like some people.

I enjoyed Mark of the Vampire. I may watch it again (perhaps when TCM shows it next October) and write another blog post from the point of view of somebody who already knows the big reveal. If I remember it.

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I Don’t JUST Talk!

Posted on December 10, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I had some extra time this morning, which I could have used to write a really good blog post. Instead I fell into conversation with a co-worker, which I must say I enjoyed very much.

There I was, enjoying myself, when Joanie came along and said, “Do you ever stop talking?”

“Very rarely,” I answered, which of course she already knew. Then I thought of something else: “When you’re talking I have a hard time getting a word in edgewise.” Which I believe she also already knew.

She laughed and agreed we were alike in that respect.

“I’ll shut up now,” I said. “I’ll go write my blog post.”

She suggested I write about how I never shut up. Since I don’t have much else going on today, I did.

I was going to end it just then. See what I would be doing? I say I never shut up, then I shut up. Well, we all know that’s just not me.

A short time later, I saw Joanie talking to another co-worker. Naturally, I asked, “Joanie, don’t you ever stop talking?”

“No! Never!”

Later yet, I was working away at my machine, and Joanie was doing something nearby. Somehow, something wasn’t right. Finally, I called her over: “Psst, Joanie! Joanie! Come here, Joanie?”

“What?”

“Did you notice neither one of us is talking?”

We corrected that deficiency right away.

OK, for anybody else who works in my place of employment, especially any bosses (oh yeah, like they read my blog, but just in case): WE ALSO GOT OUR WORK DONE!

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Why This is Not a Movie Post

Posted on December 9, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I’m not giving up Wrist to Forehead Sunday, you can’t make me.

That previous sentence should have a semi-colon instead of a comma, but sometimes I regard punctuation as much art as science. The Punctuation Police and the Grammar Guardians can ding me all they like, because I am usually quite correct about these things.

Regular readers will realize I was too ill yesterday to partake in any Mohawk Valley adventures. Today I feel slightly less crappy but not yet un-crappy. Anyways, Sunday is almost always an off day for me.

Yesterday I watched a Hammer Studios film and today a Bela Lugosi movie. I could write about either one, only it also seems that I can’t. You know how I always put a Spoiler Alert. Well, the things I would be apt to talk about for these movies goes beyond spoiler and into “Well, why don’t you just tell us the whole damn movie while you’re at it!” These are things astute movie viewers may see coming (I did), but there is still an element of, “Wait a minute, it could be that…” The satisfaction is in saying, “I thought so!” and not “I read about that in a blog!”

You know, I’ve said too much already. Now I am afraid viewers will say, “What did she see coming… ah yes! Of course!” Instead of letting it unfold in front of them.

Or am I being silly? That, of course, is always a possibility. In any case, I see my word count is over 250 words. Quite respectable for typing with one wrist on my forehead (oh, OK, that’s only figuratively)(metaphorically?). I hope to see you on Middle-aged Musings Monday.

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At Least I Left the House

Posted on December 8, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I know, running errands is not the same thing as going running. I’m impressed with myself that I left the house at all, so those that are more dedicated and tougher than I, oh well, it’s nice for you, that’s all.

I think my stupid cold is reaching its climax and I will begin the slow road back to health tomorrow. I had a dreadful headache for most of the day. the worst thing about being sick was that I had several potential Mohawk Valley adventure waiting for me. A sleigh ride in Meyers Park, a craft fair and bake sale in Mohawk, an open house at Mohawk Valley Center for the Arts, the Herkimer County Historical Society’s gift shop open on Saturdays for December, and the annual Roast Beef Dinner at Christ Episcopal Church. All to be enjoyed by people other than me!

I watched a movie and crocheted, practiced “feed a cold,” and tried unsuccessfully to nap. At last I took a hot shower, and that seemed to help. I hadn’t meant to do anything, but I actually felt like putting on real clothes and making the attempt.

My plan was to get out of the house, pick up a prescription that was waiting for me, and make it to the roast beef dinner for take-out. When I saw that my beloved schnoodle, Tabby, was waiting for me on the landing of the stairs, I reconsidered. It seemed too cold to let her wait in the vehicle while I did my errands, so I thought it was not unreasonable to take her for a walk before I left.

The sun was just about to go down after a cloudy day. I don’t mind the gloom. I enjoyed the neighbors’ Christmas lights as usual, as well as the sight of bare trees against the grey sky. We only went around the block (Tabby’s idea). I grabbed my purse and got out the door before I could change my mind.

My errands did not take me long. I was especially happy about the roast beef. For one thing, I like to support the church. Even more importantly, Steven went back to work after lunch thinking I would not make it there, and I didn’t have any other bright ideas for supper. Won’t he be pleased, especially when he finds I even got dessert?

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Timing Is Everything

Posted on December 7, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

This is unusual. I just sat here for

Oh dear. I was about to write “at least five minutes,” when I looked at my watch and knew that it had only been three minutes. “Almost five minutes”? Lie and say that it was five minutes? We call that literary license in this business. Sometimes we call it fiction.

At any rate, I was paralyzed. Then I had to laugh at myself for being paralyzed. And naturally I started to write about it. Well, it got the pen moving at any rate.

Perhaps for the rest of the post I could ponder my obsession with time. I may have mentioned it before, in which case, sorry for repeating myself. A roommate in the army noticed my obsession. She pointed out that I knew it took seven minutes to walk to the chow hall. A “normal” person, I suppose, would say “five” or “ten” or even “five-ten.”

I’m sorry to be didactic (not real sorry, because, you know, go with your strengths), but five minutes and ten minutes are two different lengths of time. These things are important when one dare not be as much as .1 (yes, I said point one) seconds late for formation. And they are important for time-obsessed neurotics like me.

A junior high health teacher (or was it high school?) (was it even Health?) (what is with this accuracy obsession?) said we all have our little neuroses. Sometimes we call it a quirk or a Thing or a pet peeve (no, I am not looking in a thesaurus as I write this).

My main Thing right now (ooh, I just flashed on Thing One and Thing Two from The Cat in the Hat) is that I must publish a blog post every day, no matter how foolish. This has been today’s. I hope you enjoyed it.

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All I Gots

Posted on December 6, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I warned you that you may have to listen to me kvetch about my symptoms. Yesterday I wussed out for Wednesday, hoping to do better today, Non-Sequitur Thursday. Well, the cold is becoming a full-blown head monstrosity (seriously, my head feels like it is turning into a monster)(cue unkind remarks about how I normally look pretty much like a monster anyways).

I confess, I came to my computer with the intention of making a three sentence post calling in sick (typing in sick?). And while I waited for WordPress to boot up, some half-baked philosophy popped into my head. I know that is usually reserved for Lame Post Friday, but I think I’ve gone Friday on a Thursday before and considered it non-sequiturish (I know that’s not a word, computer, you don’t have to underline it for me). Anyways, it’s all I gots right now.

Sometimes we only want the end result. For example, right now I do not feel like taking a shower. However, I want to feel warm, clean and cuddly in my sweats. That will not happen without the application of soap and water. For another example, I loathe getting out of bed in the morning. However, I like being up early. I have had runs that I have not enjoyed, but I have been happy that I ran.

Countless writers confess that they despise the act of writing, but they love to have written. Regular readers may recall me saying that this is not the case for me. I love to write. Right now, for example. Earlier I sat in my living room, ready to cry, but too dehydrated due to my cold (although I am drinking plenty of liquids). I wanted nothing but to lie perfectly still, perhaps having magically attained the warm, clean, cuddly feeling without the trauma of a hot shower. And I wanted my blog post To Be Written. However, now I am sitting at my keyboard, merrily typing away.

But I can’t keep it up indefinitely. I need to put my head down. Maybe drink a little herbal tea. And ponder what I can write on Lame Post Friday now that I’ve used up my half-baked philosophy for the week. I hope you’ll stay tuned.

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A Weary Wuss

Posted on December 5, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Wuss-out Wednesday is getting to be a habit. In my defense, I’m tired.

Yesterday I avoided writing a post about Why I Can’t Write a Post by going for a run and writing about that. Today I’m too tired to run.

My husband, Steven, has spent the first half of this week fighting a cold. At last it seems he is victorious. And now it looks like my turn to suffer. So my lovely blog readers have that to look forward to: me kvetching about my symptoms. So far the main symptom is I’m TIRED!

Other people can write when they are tired. I bet some people are reading this with a smug look, saying, “I can write when I’m tired. It’s not that hard.” Well, THAT’S NICE FOR YOU!

We were at the laundromat earlier this evening, where I wrote a page on my novel. It was not a very good page, perhaps, but at least I wrote it. I’m tempted to use that as my reason: I used up all my words for the day on that! How can I be expected to write a blog post as well?

I know, it doesn’t work like that. It’s not a bucket, where you take stuff out and then it’s gone. It’s more a river: as you take stuff out even more flows in to take its place. Well, my river today is full of sediment (give me a metaphor, I’ll beat it till it screams).

I think the best thing to do is to take my weary body to bed and hope it’s only bluffing about coming down with a cold. I hope to come up with something more amusing for Non-Sequitur Thursday.

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