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Lame Post IN the Morning ON Saturday

I tell you, it is a whole different perspective. I am sitting in the chair instead of on the couch, pecking at the Tablet with a stylus pen I was lucky enough to find (I have mislaid both actual styluses and all the other stylus pens), sipping tea, and hoping nobody minds that I did not post on Thursday. I was actually hoping nobody would notice but felt compelled to mention it, being me. Even I could not hope my readers would not notice.something I actually mentioned.

Tea does not have as much caffeine as coffee, by the way. A friend read me the amounts from a drug studies book many years ago. An acquaintance (she passed for a friend at the time) once said, “Oh, no. You can do only one or two dunks of the tea bag, that’s all!” How scientific: one or two dunks. An example of people thinking they know things for no particular reason.

I seem to be getting bogged down, but since this is my Late Lame Post Friday Post, I will continue to sludge through.

The first paragraph raised two questions in my mind. The first: why does one sit in a chair but on a couch? One can sit on a chair, but that usually refers to one of the wooden variety. I occupy a nice cushy living room chair (see what I did there?). “In” seems appropriate. However, couches are nice and cushy, too. Why do I not sit in a couch? Right now I do not because my husband, Steve, is there, sound asleep, by the way.

One might argue that Steven should be IN bed. Ooh, this one makes sense: you sit ON a bed, usually on top of the covers and try not to mess them up. You sleep IN a bed, nicely snuggled under the covers.

That was a delightful discussion, for me anyways. I will just mention my second question: what is the proper plural of styluses? My autocorrect wanted to change it to “stylized.” As usual in these disagreements, I prevailed.

I have finished my tea. Perhaps I should get on with my Saturday.


I’m Blaming My Sinuses

This is just a quick post to apologize for not making a post yesterday or today. No excuses, no explanations. But I feel bad about it. Do I feel bad enough to type in more than just a paragraph right now? We shall see.

Here’s a thing: I feel inclined to say I feel badly, but I distinctly remember learning in school (junior high? Elementary? My memory is not that distinct) that “feel badly” is incorrect; the correct expression is “feel bad,” because of the kind of verb “feel” is. Intransitive? Again, the memory is not distinct.

I am feeling bad(ly) in other ways too. This cooler weather makes my body think it is fall, and my sinuses are giving me hell. I don’t see how that can happen. Just because it cools off shouldn’t effect the pollen count, should it? Is this reverse placebo effect?

I may be crazy. The other day a guy said, “Normal is relative,” to which I responded, “Not my relative.” I stole that line from my sister Diane. It is a good one.

So I guess I’ll call this a Blogger’s Sick Day and drive on. It has not been a bad day, it has not been a bad weekend. I look forward to the week ahead. We shall see what kinds of blog posts I can come up with.

I Like a Semi-Colon on Lame Post Friday

Oh crap, it is almost 10:30 at night and I have not yet made my Friday Lame Post.  Can I make it before midnight?  A more practical question is, why am I up so far past my bedtime?  Well, I just got back from A Bad Year for Tomatoes at Ilion Little Theatre.  I think I can write a quick post while I sip a glass of wine with my husband.  What, you thought I wasn’t going to have a glass of wine on a Friday?  I don’t think anybody thought that.

Normally when I have someplace to go on a Friday, I try to make my blog post first. I did not do so today, because I was working on Spring Into Murder, the murder mystery we are putting on for Morning Star Methodist Church in Ilion on April 28.  Earlier today I saw a flier about said murder mystery, so I was all psyched up to get what I have typed into the computer so I can get it out to the cast and we can start rehearsals.  I’m getting there!  Oh, you think I should have had it completed, typed in, polished, and have started rehearsals already?  That would have been nice.  But this is me we’re talking about.

Oh dear, two paragraphs into the blog post and I’ve got the type-it-in-backspace-it-out disease.  Part of me is saying, “You’re over 200 words; that’s plenty for Lame Post Friday!”  Yes, the voices in my head use semi-colons when they talk.  The voices in my head are all about grammar and punctuation.  If anybody would like to comment below, pointing out any errors I may have made today, go right ahead.  I will only laugh, because I have forgotten more grammar than most folks ever knew.  The rest I willfully ignore as it suits my purpose (insert evil laugh here).

In the meantime, I think I need to hit Publish, finish my wine, and go to bed.  I hope to see you all tomorrow on Scattered Saturday or perhaps Slacker Saturday, whatever it turns out to be.


Is This Literally a Bad Post?

A point to ponder:  Why would you call a premeditated murder “unthinkable”?  If it was premeditated, obviously somebody put some thought into it.

Actually (now that I THINK about it), “unthinkable” is kind of a dumb word.  I mean, you can think about anything.  Try to think of something unthinkable.  You can’t, because you just THOUGHT of it!

I know, I know, it is not a word that is meant to be taken literally.  And here I am using “literally” in its actual (literal) meaning, not the way some people use it, indiscriminately for emphasis (as in, “I’m LITERALLY starving to death!”).  I realize that “unthinkable” means “I hate to even think about it” or “I would never even think of doing that!”  or words to that effect (incidentally, that is one of my favorite expressions: “words to that effect”).

Sometimes I just wish people would learn more words so they could use a word that means what they mean it to mean (if you see what I mean).

I suppose one could argue (and there is always one that will argue) (you know who you are, although you probably deny it) that the language is always evolving.  Expressions fall out of favor, phrases are coined, slang terms magically appear.  It just bothers me when they do because people are too damn lazy to find the right word so they just use any old word that’s handy.

Then again, who am I to complain about anybody’s laziness?  I am going to be lazy enough to end this post here and call it Non-Sequitur Thursday.  I hope you are not literally mad at me.  That would be unthinkable.


Not Feeling Friday

This post is going to be quite lame, I’m afraid, but yet will probably not attain the carefree silliness of a true Friday Lame Post.  I have gone all day not feeling as if it is Friday.  I still feel that way.

Normally I have this feeling when I have to work on Saturday.  This week I do not.  I only get to sleep in till four tomorrow morning, but that is at least later than three (I can do that much math, at least).

Oh, but that brings up a pet peeve of mine.  You do not have to say “4 a.m. in the morning”  nor yet “tomorrow morning at 4 a.m.”  It is either “Four in the morning” or “4 a.m.”  You can say, “tomorrow morning at four”  or “tomorrow at 4 a.m.”  “a.m.” and “in the morning” mean THE EXACT SAME THING!  The weather people on YNN (now known as Time Warner Cable News, but I find that awkward and not a little self-serving) say it all the time (I could say “every morning in the a.m.” but I’m not sure everyone would get the sarcasm).

This being Lame Post Friday, I ought to be able to come up with some half-baked philosophy either explaining why some people feel obligated to repeat themselves, why it bothers me so much, or perhaps some new and improved outlook I could adopt so it would bother me less.   Hmmmm….. nothing is coming.  I did say I was not feeling Friday, didn’t I?

No matter.  I am over 200 words, and by my own self-imposed rules, that is enough for a post.  I hope you will all tune in tomorrow when I hope to be feeling Saturday.


Lame to You and More of It!

For today’s Lame Friday Post, I bring you another edition of Common Expressions Revisited.  Warning!  This post may become somewhat vulgar.  If you don’t think you’ll like that, don’t read. And regular readers KNOW how I feel about the expression TMI (hate it, Hate it, HATE IT!!!).

Kiss my ass.  No, no, I’m not telling you to do that.  That’s the first expression I want to talk about it.  Think about all the people you have told, directly or remotely to kiss your ass (by remotely, I mean, “He/she/they can kiss my ass!)”   Now consider the wear and tear on your buns if everyone, or even a portion of that number availed themselves of that generous invitation.  Yikes!

Bite me.  This is sometimes said as “Bite my butt,” which I kind of prefer, as it has the charm of alliteration.  Obviously, this could be even more painful than kissing.   In the “Bite me” version, I worry that one does not specify the body part.  I feel it leaves one vulnerable.

To my last statement, some of you are no doubt saying, “Well, it goes without saying,”  and that is another common expression I take exception to.  Very few things actually go without saying.  Oh yes, there are a few things we can and do take for granted, like, for example, gravity.  But my observation is that people still say them.  In other words, “It goes without saying” is usually not the end of the sentence.  Usually it’s, “It goes without saying THAT…”  Ah yes, there is the variation that it is said in answer,  “That goes without saying.”  Well, it didn’t go without saying if I just said it, now, did it?  I’m just saying.

OK, I guess the first two examples could be considered vulgar, but I feel there an be no possible exception to the third.  On my next grammatical excursion, I may discuss the expressions “I think,” “I believe,” and “I feel.”  I hope you are all having a delightful Friday.


Why This is Not a Movie Post

I’m not giving up Wrist to Forehead Sunday, you can’t make me.

That previous sentence should have a semi-colon instead of a comma, but sometimes I regard punctuation as much art as science. The Punctuation Police and the Grammar Guardians can ding me all they like, because I am usually quite correct about these things.

Regular readers will realize I was too ill yesterday to partake in any Mohawk Valley adventures. Today I feel slightly less crappy but not yet un-crappy. Anyways, Sunday is almost always an off day for me.

Yesterday I watched a Hammer Studios film and today a Bela Lugosi movie. I could write about either one, only it also seems that I can’t. You know how I always put a Spoiler Alert. Well, the things I would be apt to talk about for these movies goes beyond spoiler and into “Well, why don’t you just tell us the whole damn movie while you’re at it!” These are things astute movie viewers may see coming (I did), but there is still an element of, “Wait a minute, it could be that…” The satisfaction is in saying, “I thought so!” and not “I read about that in a blog!”

You know, I’ve said too much already. Now I am afraid viewers will say, “What did she see coming… ah yes! Of course!” Instead of letting it unfold in front of them.

Or am I being silly? That, of course, is always a possibility. In any case, I see my word count is over 250 words. Quite respectable for typing with one wrist on my forehead (oh, OK, that’s only figuratively)(metaphorically?). I hope to see you on Middle-aged Musings Monday.

Another Dull Post

It’s been another Wrist to Forehead Sunday. A dark, dull, gloomy day. I read a romance novel and watched movies. Good movies, not the cheesy kind I like to write about.

In short, I got nuthin’.

Usually I can expound upon the fact that I got nuthin’, basically making something out of nothing. Writing is kind of cool that way. Only it doesn’t always work.

Today it ain’t working.

Or should I have said “workin'”?

And what is with the bad grammar of “got nuthin'”? I know better than that. I’m such a grammar prig most of the time, it is really unbecoming when I don’t use proper English myself.

OK: I have nothing of interest to post.

Doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?