Tag Archives: lame post

You Would Cry Too

Posted on May 17, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

It’s my Friday and I’ll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to.

OK, that’s all I got. I started to write a post about… I don’t remember what I was writing about but it was going to be too long. I have to get to the theatre tonight. The show must go on! (with gesture)

Actually, I just now took the time to go downstairs and look at what I started to write. It was about Habitat for Humanity. Tonight’s show is a benefit for that fine organization. I will try to write about them tomorrow. I have tomorrow off, so I will have more time for a lengthy post.

Thus explaining my first sentence, and you know what Friday means: Lame Post Friday! Random observations and half-baked philosophy! Here goes…

My first observation is that it would probably have been less trouble to write a short post while on a break at work and then have merely to type it in right now, instead of trying to think of something clever to say. Which leads me into some half-baked philosophy on why do I always have to do things the hard way?

Seriously, why do I? Certain members of my family say it is a family motto: Why do things the easy way when there’s a hard way? Now my question is: why do we so often ask why? Can’t we just accept what is and go from there? Do you suppose this is enough questions for one blog post?

I’m thinking it is enough nonsense. I am over 200 words. My only excuse for a stupid post is that at least it’s short. Hope to see you on Friday, when I will attempt to NOT be lame.

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Call It What You Like

Posted on May 12, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I got nuthin.

Should there be an apostrophe after the second n in nuthin? See, even when I use quite terrible grammar I want to be correct. This by way of what we can call either a Blogger’s Sick Day or a Wrist to Forehead Saturday.

I’ve spent all day thinking I had to write a blog post and thinking a topic would magically appear. I’ve taken two walks with my dog, one of which included my husband. I made some excellent observations about beautiful Herkimer, NY in the springtime. Yet, I can’t seem to make myself write about them.

It doesn’t help that I’m pressed for time. Or that I am suffering from the lightheadedness that occasionally plagues me. Or some unnamed malaise that renders everything in my life and mind unblogworthy. But I must not repine. My only task now is to get my word count up to a respectable number and drive on.

To help that, here is what I wrote on Thursday for possible use as my Friday Lame Post (as it happened, I went another way):

Full disclosure: I am writing this week’s Friday Lame Post on Thursday as I have done on several previous occasions. I find that it does not appear to have a detrimental effect on the blogosphere.

I’m not writing it on a break at work, as I usually do, nor yet composing at the computer as also often happens. I am crouched on my bathroom floor waiting for my Root Rescue to process my grey roots and make my hair beautiful once more.

Yes, I remember that my Thursday post (written and published the same day I am writing this) was about how I intend to be bald within the month. In the meantime, I’m doing my roots. Sue me.

What a long time 15 minutes takes when you are naked with chemicals on your hair.

That was when I stopped writing, because I wasn’t sure if I should talk about being naked. It might give somebody an unfortunate mental image.

And now I see I am over 300 words. Phew! I feel better! Although I’ll probably hate myself in the morning.

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It Might Have Been a Cowboy

Posted on May 11, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I don’t want to say I consumed insufficient caffeine this morning, but I almost left the house in my bedroom slippers. Just thought I’d throw in that unrelated remark, since I missed Non-Sequitur Thursday.

Yes, it is Lame Post Friday, my day of random observations and half-baked philosophy (I put in the explanation yet again for the benefit of new readers if any and to up my word count, because I really have very little to say today).

I do have one random observation that I wrote for use last Friday but mislaid the notebook when it was time to type it into the computer. I offer it now, although I wonder if it is as striking as it seemed when I first observed it.

As I drove along, in the car in front of me I could not see the driver’s head at all. The passenger’s head was this great big cowboy hat that reached the car roof. For a minute it looked as if this big old cowboy was being driven along by magic, or else by a tiny little cowgirl (I don’t know why I assigned the genders thusly, but so ran my thoughts) without a hat.

Then I got close enough to see the driver’s reflection in the side view mirror. A completely un-cowgirl-looking lady (why is my computer underlining “un-cowgirl-like”? Isn’t that a word?). Then I got closer yet and saw that what I had thought was a Stetson was the visor and the passenger was a perfectly ordinary sized person. What a disappointment!

I suppose at this point I could offer up some half-baked philosophy about disappointment or jumping to conclusions based upon a mere glance or why wasn’t I keeping my eye on the road instead of looking for cowboys in other vehicles. Well, I can’t think of anything philosophical to say, half-baked or otherwise, and I am extremely pressed for time.

I see that I am over 300 words. That is respectable. After all we don’t worry too much about content here at Mohawk Valley Girl (another topic ripe for some half-baked philosophy). I leave you to contemplate cowboys in other cars, and I hope you have a lovely weekend.

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Could Be the Lamest Post Yet

Posted on May 4, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

So I started writing at least three Friday Lame Posts at work today (while on a break OF COURSE). I don’t like any of them. And I have a very short time in which to come up with something else. OH NO!

No, it isn’t Wrist to Forehead Friday. For one thing, I don’t have time to make dramatic poses.

To be honest: as soon as I typed that sentence, I sat here staring at the screen, trying to think of something else to say. I had plenty of time to put my wrist onto my forehead. I was just too lazy.

Ah, that leads us into some half-baked philosophy suitable for Lame Post Friday (my meager brain hasn’t failed me yet!): A truism states that we all have time for the things that are truly important to us. Is this a true truism? Discuss.

I think that actually we don’t any of us have the time we’d like to have for all the things we’d like to do. However, most of us have more time than we will admit; we just take it up doing other things. This is hardly an earth shattering observation (and since the earth has never, in fact, shattered, I would submit that nobody has yet made an observation that can truly be described as such) (so now I feel better about that).

Where was I?

Ah yes, babbling on in hopes my word count will go high enough that I can call it a post. Hmmm… Over 200. That’s respectable.

Before I sign off, I will leave my readers with one thought. I thought all day about how it is sometimes difficult to write a post when Mohawk Valley Girl strives to adhere to the rule: If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

We’ll see who gets worried about that one.

Postscript: As personal acquaintances know, in real life I don’t always follow that rule. I’m more akin to Dorothy Parker when she purportedly said, “If you can’t say anything nice, sit right here next to me.”

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I Didn’t Edit Out the Lame

Posted on April 20, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

An interesting phenomenon has been happening with some of my blog posts lately: I edit.

Of course I’ve always edited to a point. Whether I write it first then type it in or compose (NOT compost, Ron) at the keyboard, I read it over and change a word here and there. Lately, however, I’ve been deleting, moving and completely re-writing entire paragraphs. Even adding paragraphs. It’s kind of fun.

I’m sure there are some “real” writers out there rolling their eyes. “Of COURSE you have to edit!” they are saying, with or without a sniff. “Editing is an important part of writing — maybe the MOST important part. Did you think your stuff could stand as written?”

Two schools of thought there. Others believe you should NEVER edit. You must be spontaneous and fresh, sticking to your “first thoughts.” “First thoughts” is an expression I got from Natalie Goldberg in Writing Down the Bones. For Goldberg, as for many creative souls, the Editor is that bad voice that lives in your head and says things like, “Don’t write that! That’s stupid! Why are you even writing at all?”

Regular readers (Hi, Sherry!) know I have conversations with a similar entity in my own head on a regular basis. I would submit that it isn’t only writers that hear such a voice. I think a lot of people who suffer from low self-esteem hear an unkind voice telling them they are ugly or stupid or worthless.

I don’t want to stray into psychiatry over here. Half-baked philosophy is my bailiwick. And I didn’t start out to write out about self-esteem; I meant to do a post on writing.

Well, how about some half-baked philosophy on the relationship between writing and self-esteem?

Or not.

Full disclosure: I wrote this last week (yes, while I was stressing over the silly weekend) with no real notion of when I would use it. Today, I thought it would fit right in with Lame Post Friday. And it will have to do, because I have nothing else, least of all time to come up with an alternative.

Further full disclosure: I did very little editing on this when I typed it in. The irony is not lost on me.

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A Little Less Stress?

Posted on April 13, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Regular readers (Hi, Rick!) know I have spent the week in a state of stress over what ought to be a stress-relieving treat, namely a wine tasting trip to the Finger Lakes with certain female members of my family. I thought I might take Lame Post Friday to give an update on my stress.

Full disclosure: I’m writing this on Thursday, hoping to alleviate a little stress on Friday. I wrote Thursday’s post on Wednesday, Wednesday’s and Tuesday’s posts on Monday. I don’t remember what I wrote on Tuesday.

This morning WKTV News (out of Utica, NY) declared that it was Stress Free Thursday. Considering that I have spend Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday kvetching about the stress I’m under, I felt this spoke directly to me.

Bill Kardas, the weatherman, said life is too short to stress about things. This, I thought later, while not half-baked in itself, could lead me to some some half-baked philosophy suitable for Lame Post Friday.

“Life’s too short” is a reason many people use for many things. I like it. I think as a reason I like it even better than “It seemed like a good idea at the time,” my most often used reason. I daresay nobody but me remembers, but regarding the first wine tasting trip I took with my sisters, I explained, “Under the heading Life’s Too Short, we decided to do this and set a date.”

The occasion was my grandfather’s funeral. There is nothing like a funeral to point out how short life is and how important family is. Oh dear, now I’m getting sentimental as well as philosophical. That’s deadly.

I was gearing up to philosophize (half-bakedly, of course) about how we cause our own stress, as in, “I’m really stressing out over this.” But now I’m feeling all cuddly and soft. Well, one can’t always plan how one is going to feel.

This is Lame Post Friday, after all (or it will be when I publish this). I’m allowed to be random. I hope you all have a stress free weekend.

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Gone Fishin’ — I Mean Wine Tasting

Posted on April 13, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

So I had a minor tirade on Non-Sequitur Thursday, some truly half-baked philosophy for Lame Post Friday, now I have to come up with something for Saturday.

Astute readers (I’m sure that includes all you lovely people) will realize I am writing this on Thursday, in hopes of getting my blog posts typed in and set to publish ahead of time. This will enhance my ability to enjoy the upcoming Finger Lakes Wine Tasting tour I am embarking upon with some of my family.

My favorite kind of Saturday post is Running Commentary. Unfortunately, I have not run and have no time to run now. I hope to take my dog, Tabby, for a walk sometime this evening. However, I want to write this post NOW (on a break at work, so, no, I can’t drop the pen, take a quick hike and go on). I suppose I could make something up and pretend I took a walk or even a run, but this really isn’t that kind of a blog.

So, what, am I going to write a post about What I Can’t Write a Post About? Is that better or worse than a post about Why I Can’t Write a Post Today? To answer that question would require some half-baked philosophy suitable for Lame Post Friday. Well, I’ve posted lame on a Saturday before. I’ve even had Wrist to Forehead Saturday on occasion. I’m afraid what I’m coming up with right now, though, is a new feature: I Got Nuthin’ Saturday.

Well, I’ve taken blogger sick days before. A co-worker suggested I call in sick on Friday in order to leave early for my Finger Lakes adventure. Since I have been talking about going wine tasting all week, I thought that would be bad policy. Likewise, no blog reader will believe I am suddenly ill (unless it is stress related; anybody could believe that).

So call it a personal day. Or what happens when one tries to write three blog posts in one day. I won’t work on Sunday’s post till tomorrow at the earliest. In the meantime, as you read this (if anybody is still reading), I might be raising a glass with a tiny taste of wine in it to you, my lovely readers. Cheers.

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Lame Non-Sequiturs

Posted on March 29, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I saw on the news Tuesday morning (WKTV out of Utica, NY) that somebody had declared it No Complaints Tuesday. My rebellious nature immediately asserted itself.

I will naturally complain about anybody telling me not to complain. After all, we can help improve things by complaining about what’s wrong. And if we can’t change things we can relieve our feelings by expressing ourselves. I have a lot of intelligent, thoughtful, CERTAINLY NOT whiny complaints, and I am sure you do, too, gentle reader.

That is the cue for somebody to sniff, “I never complain. It doesn’t do you any good to complain. I look on the positive side always.” Well, if that is truly what you say, I bet a lot of your friends complain about you as soon as you leave the room.

I wrote the preceding Tuesday morning but decided to save it for Non-Sequitur Thursday. I actually continued my Tuesday in a non-complaining fashion, I think largely because I had gotten it out of my system with that silly diatribe.

So today is Non-Sequitur Thursday, but it is also my Friday — that is, Lame Post Friday — since I have tomorrow off. Score! I can be random, half-baked and none of it has to make any sense (I KNOW some of you are saying, “So what else is new?” and what an obvious thing to say. Find some new jokes!).

I intend to spend a good part of the weekend watching cheesy movies which I will write about for your entertainment. I have some waiting on my DVR especially for the purpose. I might also hit some local retail establishments in search of Easter goodies.

Hey, why is it there a moon on my watch (how’s that for a non-sequitur) (and a random observation)? It can’t mean p.m., because I have my watch set to military time (if you want to annoy some people, tell them it’s 16:48 when they ask you what time it is). It’s not that I’m such a gung ho, prior service kind of veteran (but feel free to call me Sgt Q). It’s that this way when I set my alarm for 3:30 or 5 I know it will ring in the morning. Just another little bit of security when I go to sleep at night that I’ll get up on time in the morning. Maybe the moon has always been there. Or maybe my watch is mooning me. Wise-ass Timex!

Well, that is over 400 words. I think that is plenty enough silliness for one day (is that half-baked philosophy?) (I know “plenty enough” is a tautology, but I like the sound of it). Time to get on with my weekend. Happy Thursday, everyone!

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Sorry, Readers

Posted on March 25, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

It’s another Wrist to Forehead Sunday. I don’t have a post written. I don’t have any ideas of what to write a post about. I don’t even have any humorous remarks about Why I Can’t Write a Post Today.

I almost had Wrist to Forehead Saturday. I took out an old spiral notebook and wrote a sentence. And crossed it out. I wrote another couple of sentences and crossed them out. I frowned. Started another sentence. Forced myself to write… each… word… Then when I was folding laundry I came up with the St. Baldrick’s Day idea. Saved!

I walked with my schnoodle Tabby to the post office to mail postcards yesterday morning, thinking that would be worth a post. My husband Steven joined us for another walk this afternoon. The highlight of today’s walk was the memorial for Ape, the police dog who gave his life protecting his human partner from the killer. At least, I don’t know if highlight is the right word. But I don’t feel I can write a blog post about that, or indeed, say anything else about the tragedy today.

Yesterday I had a couple of opportunities for Mohawk Valley adventures, in addition to our post office jaunt, but alas, nothing blogworthy ensued. I didn’t even watch a cheesy horror movie, although a couple good-sounding choices await on my DVR.

So boo hoo for me. And boo hoo for you the reader, as I blather on about these things. Oh well, I guess the blogosphere can survive one more stupid post from yours truly. Ah, here’s something apropos. In the old notebook I was writing in yesterday, I found a crumpled piece of paper with the following quote:

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometime courage is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”

I guess what I do doesn’t take a plethora of courage, but, yes, I will try again tomorrow. Hope to see you then.

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One Cheese, Two Cheese, RATS!

Posted on March 22, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

When I closed yesterday I thought I might take today to come up with a rating system for my cheesy movie reviews. A Facebook friend suggested servings of cheese. I had thought maybe kinds of cheese — this one’s cheddar, that one’s Velveeta. That strikes me as rather qualitative and subjective. Then again, who cares about that? They’re my reviews, and any review is perforce subjective. Then again, not everybody likes the same kind of cheese.

For example, when I think “cheddar” I think dry, aged, classy, substantial, delicious. Others might think, can’t have it without crackers, gets lumpy when it melts, I’d rather have American. For another example, I find Cheez Whiz a delicious treat, whereas cheese snobs find it unbearably tacky and I daresay many refuse to try it. Hmmm. That one’s kind of a metaphor for the sort of movies I like.

But now I’m thinking, if I have to explain what I mean when I rate a movie “cheddar,” I may as well leave off the cheddar and just explain. Which is pretty much what I do now. I say, “Worth a watch,” or, “Good if you want a stupid movie to make fun of.” I don’t know that I’ve ever used it in the blog, but my ultimate pan of a movie is “It needs robot heads.”

This, of course, is a reference to Mystery Science Theatre 3000, in which a guy and two robots make fun of cheesy movies. Delicious show. I think if a movie needs robot heads, it’s not just cheesy, it’s dull. I did find one movie so dull even robot heads couldn’t get me through it. The next time I find myself without a feature on a Saturday afternoon, I may attempt it again and write about it.

Where does that leave us? One cheese, two cheeses, Rats! I never should have watched this movie! But am I rating how cheesy a movie is, how good it is, or how enjoyable? I think I’m better off sticking to my descriptions.

So now I’ve wasted a whole blog post deciding to just keep doing what I’m doing. Maybe I should have saved this one for Lame Post Friday.

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