Tag Archives: lame post

About That Play…

Posted on February 16, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

When we last left our hero (um, that’s me) (I went masculine as gender neutral, because I did not want to refer to myself as an illegal substance), she was about to stop writing her blog post and instead work on finishing a play she had started. OK, enough with the third person crap.

What I’m saying is, I did not write my post on breaks at work today, as I usually do. I trusted to last minute inspiration and my ability in the past to write something on the fly. Or is it off the cuff? I get my clothing metaphors confused.

It is, of course, Lame Post Friday, my day of random observations and half-baked philosophy. I seem to recall mentioning yesterday that we should save the half-baked philosophy about finished works for Lame Post Friday. And here we are.

I find it sad but true when I read a novel or a play or even a magazine article that is not very good: my first thought is, I could do so much better. My second thought is, well, why didn’t you? One reason the worst novel in the world can get published over my deathless prose (I don’t really think it’s deathless; I just like that expression) is that that novel GOT FINISHED.

And here is some more half-baked philosophy: one can take the above thought two ways. It could be an inspiration to write more and concentrate on finishing. Or it can be a discouraging criticism: if you haven’t finished a damn play yet, you never will, give it up now!

Well, which way did you think I was going to take it? You know I like to keep my blog positive! So I spent my time before I had to start working and my break writing my play. Unfortunately, I dare not tell you anything about it, because it is a work in progress. It’s not that I fear my gentle readers will steal my ideas, but I do fear “helpful” criticism (and I am certain MY readers would never offer any other kind). More to the point, I fear that having talked about the play, I will no longer feel the need to write it. I told the story, it’s done. It can happen.

In fact, I think I’d better shut up now.

Happy Friday, everyone.

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, lame, personal, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Lame Verbiage

Posted on February 9, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Today’s Friday Lame Post is heavy on the half-baked philosophy.

I began to write a far different post. I started running Thursday and intended to write a post about that. My lead was dull. I said so. It went on from there as follows:

And now I sit, pen in hand, contemplating how sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t. Maybe I should start a whole other blog about why I shouldn’t bother writing a blog. And by “bother,” I mean bother other people with my verbal meandering.

Note to self: does “verbal” only mean spoken or can it include the written word? It seems to me it should include writing, but I can only seem to recall hearing it used regarding spoken. I have no dictionary with me.

Well, that kept the pen moving for a while anyways. I’m re-reading Writing down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg (Shambhala Publications, 1986) and hence re-acquiring an appreciation for writing one does not intend to share. Practice writing, Goldberg calls it. Of course, I don’t do it the way she says to, never stopping the pen, not going back and re-reading, etc. I have NEVER been able to write without pausing and I have given up trying to make myself (and what a freeing decision that was!).

Full disclosure: As I write this, I picture myself typing it into my computer and publishing it as a blog post. What does that tell you?

Aha! I bet you thought that was a rhetorical question, but I am going to answer it. Writing is, for me, communication. I want to write for a reader.

That said, I understand editing. Whole sentences, paragraphs and posts will never see the light of day (the ether of the internet?) and rightly so. But as I write, I picture somebody reading it. I’m sure many writers do.

And then I stopped writing.

After I typed this nonsense into the computer, I looked up “verbal” in the dictionary (The American Heritage Dictionary, Delta, 1992). It has several meanings, only one of which is “spoken rather than written,” as in a verbal contract (which Sam Goldwyn famously said is not worth the paper it’s written on). It can also just mean having to do with words. But “verbiage,” I see, means wordiness, not specifying written or oral. I see this post is about 400 words. Plenty of verbiage for a Lame Post Friday. Have a good weekend, everyone!

Leave a comment

Posted in commentary, humor, lame, personal, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Irony in my Diet

Posted on February 4, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

So there I was, writing a post about a walk on a Sunday, and it was DULL. The walk itself was not dull. I love to walk, especially with my cute little dog.

But just because something is enjoyable does not mean it is interesting to read about. This is particularly true in fiction, by the way. In fiction, you want your characters to have one problem after another. Conflict! That’s the ticket!

Am I going to have a Wrist to Forehead Sunday post lamenting that I don’t have enough problems? That’s right up there with not watching a movie because it’s a good one! I guess you can’t say Mohawk Valley Girl does not get enough irony in her diet (is that double negative an awkward construction?).

I really, truly meant to write a real post today, not another one about Why I Can’t Write a Post. Then again, unlike walks, I seem to find an infinite variety in my excuses not to write. Wait a minute, isn’t writing about not writing yet another irony?

Come to think of it, I did have one small problem on my walk. Tabby pooped right near Meyers Park. I scooped up the poo, with a decent amount of snow, and contemplated the distance to the trash can. I was walking down the street hoping to meet Steven as he drove home from work. If I walked to the can to throw away the poo, would I miss my husband, thus rendering the walk useless and annoying?

I chanced it. I walked slantwise to the can, keeping an eye on the road. Was that him? No, that was a truck. Was that him? No, that was a white SUV. Was that little car him? No, it was maroon. I made it back to the sidewalk! Success!

Steven was late leaving work. We walked all the way down to State Street then back home without encountering him. It was not ironic. It was unfortunate.

And now my question, gentle reader is, which part of the post was more dull: the story of an actual happening or the dithering about why I couldn’t write today? Discuss amongst yourselves.

Leave a comment

Posted in blogging, commentary, humor, personal and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

The Decongestant Blues

Posted on February 3, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I think Non Sequitur Saturday has a much better sound to it than Non Sequitur Thursday.

It was cold this morning when I walked to the post office with Tabby to mail some postcards.

Sometimes we call her Tabby Dog. That is more stream of consciousness than non sequitur. Sue me.

The next production for Ilion Little Theatre is now fully cast and rehearsals are going well, so I hear. I may stop by a rehearsal and say hello, just for material for another post.

I recently saw not one but two cheesy horror movies I could write about. The second was more of a philosophical love story, but I don’t despair of writing an acceptable post.

I may have said a few too many times that I mean to start running again. First the weather got too cold, then I got a cold, now I still have the cold AND it’s too cold. I know, I know, some people run with a cold and in the cold. Why don’t you just add some more guilt to my ills?

When I returned to Curves Wednesday I felt so terrific, I almost couldn’t wait to go in Friday. Then on Friday I realized, ooh, I have a lot of ground to make up. With the state my body’s in, I really can’t miss days of exercise.

Sometimes colds hang on and on. And sometimes what you think is going to help, well, not so much. And then you write a really stupid blog post and hope your readers will forgive you.

2 Comments

Posted in commentary, humor, personal and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

No Use Crying Over Lame Posts

Posted on February 2, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Well here we are once again on Lame Post Friday and I am feeling even more lame than usual (insert peanut gallery type remark of your choice here).

I do have just one thing written earlier this week, a random observation about an old cliche:

It’s no use crying over spilled milk.

I’m not crying because I think it’s going to HELP! I am having an honest emotional reaction to an upsetting event. Can you please cut me a small break? I will look for the paper towels in a minute.

The problem is: before making today’s post I checked out Facebook, as is my usual habit. What should I find but a link to another blog I follow about, you guessed it, crying over spilled milk. They do say great minds run around in the same circles (wait a minute, that is what I say; “they” put it a little differently).

Only, that post was not lame. It was a heartfelt essay about a new mother coping with real problems.

So now here I am writing a post about how inadequate I feel writing my Friday Lame Post.

Only, let’s be honest: I don’t feel any more inadequate today than any other day. For Heavens’ sake, I KNOW there are better writers than me and writers writing about more important things than I write about. It’s no reason to stop writing.

I typed that last sentence and then stopped. Just to put a little irony in your diet (one of my favorite jokes). I will close with the link to my friend’s post, so you can compare/contrast and discuss amongst yourselves. Happy Friday, everyone.

http://megactsout.blogspot.com/2013/02/crying-over-spilt-milk.html

2 Comments

Posted in commentary, humor, lame, personal and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

At Least I Wrote Something

Posted on January 20, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

So there I was, having Wrist to Forehead Saturday. A full blown case, too. Oh, I was being pathetic. It was embarrassing. The thing was I could. Not. Write. A. Thing.

I had a lovely Mohawk Valley adventure to write about. Failing that, I had taken not one but two walks with my schnoodle, Tabby. Always acceptable for a Saturday post. I understand the Write It Anyways philosophy. I got out my notebook. I found a pen. I wrote a sentence and scribbled it out. I could not think of an alternative.

“This NEVER happens to me!” I wailed. I had wailed it about thirty-eight times (in my head, of course; I didn’t want to scare the dog), before a little voice in my head said, “Don’t be silly; it happens to you all the time. That’s why you have so damn many lame posts.”

Well, I believe my theme yesterday was “Things Happen.” Or, as the case may be, Things Don’t Happen. In this case, writing the post I had intended to write is not going to happen.

In the alternative, let us briefly consider the Write It Anyways philosophy. I know, half-baked philosophy is for Lame Post Friday. However, since some do not consider this philosophy half-baked, I will make bold to compose a paragraph or two. For one thing, I do not want today to be the first day in over a year and a half that I don’t make a blog post.

Most professional writers acknowledge that you can’t wait for inspiration to strike. If you wait till you are “in the mood” to write, you will write very little. Indeed, I have found in my own experience that most of the time, if I just pick up the pen (or pencil, or put my fingers on the keyboard, if we must be literal as well as literary), words will appear.

Oh, it’s fun when they do. One of my favorite things is, it gets so they appear more easily and regularly. It’s true! Since I’ve been writing the blog, I do spend less time staring at a blank piece of paper. I spend less time staring into space thinking about writing. It’s kind of like running: the more you do it, the more you are able to do it (no, I haven’t started running again, let’s not open THAT can of worms!).

Um, slight disclaimer here: unlike running, it is not as easy to be good at writing. If I keep putting my feet down on the ground one after the other, I will get someplace and I will get there increasingly quicker or go increasingly further. If I put more words on the paper, I will be able to put increasingly more words on the paper, but that does not mean they will be any more interesting for others to read.

Case in point: this post.

On the other hand, if I start to worry about my every every word being deathless prose, I will surely write fewer words. The write-it-and-scribble-it-out disease happens because there is that voice in my head saying, “That’s not good enough” (I’m not sure if it’s the same voice that said, “It happens to you all the time,” but it’s a pretty good bet). Today I said to myself, “It doesn’t have to be brilliant, it just has to be written.”

And now I have written over 500 words. It might be foolish, but it is a blog post. I’ll work on making it brilliant tomorrow. And I will write about our trip to the Capitol Theatre in Rome, NY for a screening of Rear Window (preview of coming attractions). Um, I’m not promising that will be brilliant, but I’ll work on it.

Leave a comment

Posted in blogging, humor, personal, writing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Post Ironic

Posted on January 19, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I’ve done this before. I write my Friday Lame Post on Thursday and type it into the computer. Then on Friday I have only to hit “Publish” and be off on whatever Mohawk Valley adventure I have planned. It is most convenient. When it works.

For those of you just tuning in (and I always hope for new readers), Lame Post Friday is the day I relax with random observations and half-baked philosophy. Sometimes I sit at the computer and write it off the cuff, spontaneously.

I seem to remember last week talking about how you can’t schedule spontaneity (good word. Spontaneity). I would submit that it is difficult to schedule anything. Because things happen.

For example, Friday night Steven and I plan to drive into Rome to see an old movie at the Capitol Theatre (preview of coming attractions). Suppose it snows. Suppose I get a raging sinus headache. Suppose we just don’t damn well feel like it.

Another example: I work Monday through Friday. That’s an almost set in stone schedule. I’ve even proven I can work with a raging sinus headache. Still, you never know. What if my vehicle breaks down on Route 5? What if the factory burns down? It would take quite the huge fire, for one thing., but this is just an example.

The irony of this post is not lost on me. I’m writing it early because I PLAN to do something, and I’m writing about how you can’t plan anything. Ooh! Ooh! I did not plan it this way, but what a load of half-baked philosophy. Yes! And just like that, Lame Post Friday is back. Have a nice weekend. I plan to.

Leave a comment

Posted in half baked philosophy, humor, lame, personal and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

On with the Salsa

Posted on January 18, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I don’t think it’s Non Sequitur Thursday if on Wednesday I say I’m going to tell you my salsa method and on Thursday I actually do it. Then again, considering my salsa method (especially this time), it might be eligible for Lame Post Friday. And there we have it: If I do a post better for a Friday on a Thursday, that makes it a non sequitur post. Ipso facto (I have no idea what ipso facto means; I just thought I’d throw in a little Latin to class the post up).

I could go into some half-baked philosophy here (or is it middle-aged musing?) about how I’ve been posting lame Thursdays and Fridays for some time now (as well as other days, but let’s leave that alone for now). But that sounds a little dull to me. On with the salsa.

For those of you just tuning in, yesterday I roasted vegetables with cilantro. There was plenty of cilantro left to make salsa. I tentatively planned to bring the salsa, with chips of course, to the monthly dinner meeting of Ilion Little Theatre Club.

My first step in making salsa consisted of calling home while I was a work and leaving a message for Steven to pick up a red onion after his work. He had planned to pick up a few things anyways, so I didn’t feel I was placing an undue burden upon him. Also, I said IF it wasn’t too much trouble (a thing people often say when they are hoping the person will do the favor anyways, even if it is too much trouble).

I take a lot of time to actually get to the salsa, don’t I? When you hear the actual recipe (insert usual disclaimer), you’ll see why.

One can make salsa with a food processor or blender, or not. I chose not. I chopped up the Roma tomatoes fairly small (diced? must find a glossary of cooking terms). Then I chopped a bunch of cilantro leaves as small as possible. This part was trickier, but I did my best. Next I cut up some of the red onion (red onions are BIG), also into as teeny tiny pieces as I could manage. I sprinkled ground cumin and Perfect Pinch Savory Seasoning over the whole, and mixed well.

Then I remembered salsa should have jalapenos. Luckily I had a jar in the refrigerator. I chopped up a few. Not too many, or Steven’s bald spot would sweat.

The flavors have been blending ever since. I taste tested it at the time, but taste testing as soon as it’s mixed doesn’t really tell you much. When I get home tonight I will taste test the salsa again. I trust it will be tasty enough to share with my friends at Ilion Little Theatre Club. If not, I’ll still have over an hour to think of something else.

NOTE: The salsa tasted fine. I also made some garlic dip (subject for another post?). On to the meeting! Hope to see you on Lame Post Friday.

Leave a comment

Posted in food, humor, personal and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Joan Crawford? Or a Shar Pei?

Posted on January 11, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I came up with that headline earlier in the week. The post I started to write for it wasn’t working out so well, so I thought I’d save it for Non Sequitur Thursday (my new favorite day).

Once again, I got nuthin’ (yes, it must be “nuthin'” not “nothing” and of course it’s “I got” not “I have,” what are you people thinking?).

In my defense, I’m in pain. It’s the sinuses again. January thaw be damned!

I do have a question. Why do people always make up names of their friends or relatives when they write do “Dear Abby” and when they do, why do they feel it is necessary to tell us they are doing so? Suppose I had a problem with Sally at work. Well, in the first place I would be unlikely to write to “Dear Abby,” because I think she gives stupid advice since the daughter started writing it. Come to think of it, the original Abby sometimes gave dumb advice too.

And once again, Non Sequitur Thursday veers into Stream of Consciousness Thursday.

By the way, I rarely have problems with anybody at work and when I do I go to other co-workers to let off steam and/or get advice. These things usually blow over, I’ve found.

I am pushing myself through this day one painful minute at a time (seventy-nine more to go) (That’s actually not true. It’s eighty, but I thought seventy-nine would be funnier) (Perhaps I should have waited till it was actually seventy-nine; who can thrash out these moral dilemmas?).

And that’s what I wrote on the final break at work. It seems a touch surreal now, saying there are 79 or 80 minutes left at work, now that I am out of work and at home typing it into my computer. But my head still hurts, I got nuthin’ else.

Actually, there are two or three more paragraphs I wrote at work, but I see no reason to inflict any more on you nice people. How many sick days is a blogger allowed? Call this my first one for 2013. Hope to see you on Lame Post Friday.

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, Non Sequitur Thursday, personal and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

New Year, Same Old Me

Posted on January 2, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

First a correction from yesterday’s post: We did not tape Santa Claus Conquers the Martians from TCM but from AMC. AMC, at that time, was a delightful destination for us, showing many features with directly interested us. Now I fear they cater to a different demographic. TCM is our go to cable source for movies, which accounts for my mentioning it by mistake.

I take so long making the correction because, as has become deplorably common these days, I don’t have much. It’s kind of a dull, no brain day for me. In my defense, it’s New Year’s Day.

I actually did not party particularly heartily last night. I didn’t even stay up till midnight. I was watching the TruTV marathon of World’s Dumbest Partiers, so I may have gotten a contact buzz. Or would that be placebo effect? The power of suggestion?

In any case, I’ve spent most of the day watching some fairly creepy things on another cable channel I discovered called Chiller, with my unwritten blog post hanging over my head in a threatening fashion. I know, a dedicated blogger would have turned off the television, picked up a notebook and Written That Post.

And here we come to the ugly truth about me.

It is the last day of my four day weekend, so it is like a Sunday, and you know what that means. Wrist to Forehead Sunday!

I bet some of my readers are hoping I make a New Year’s Resolution to write fewer lame posts. Well, I strive always to improve. I did have a nice breakfast at Crazy Otto’s Empire Diner yesterday that I may write about tomorrow.

In the meantime, I am educating myself. The current feature on Chiller is Can You Survive a Horror Movie? Already I’ve gotten some useful tips on how to survive a zombie attack. Their experts don’t offer much hope for being buried alive, however.

The hosts of the show are willingly putting themselves in horror movie situations. Perhaps in 2013 I can do that myself with some of the cheesy horror features I review. I wonder who I can get to be Bela Lugosi.

Leave a comment

Posted in blogging, commentary, humor, personal and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.
← Older Posts
Newer Posts →