Tag Archives: not writing

Facial Reflections on a Monday

A couple of day ago, I typed part of a post in on (in on?  Is that right?) our tablet.  I lamented the difficulty of typing one letter at a time with the stylus, although it was kind of a fun game as well.  Today I post with a different difficulty.  I am sitting on my front porch and it seems the ambient light (I simply adore the word “ambient”) is not conducive. Superimposed on my computer screen is the wall of my house, a little bit of window, the mailbox, and my own ugly face.  Oh, I guess some people do not find it ugly.  Actually, my hair looks kind of cool.  But I digress.

I was determined that this shall not be another week of I Got Nuthin’ (ooh, just flashed on the song from Porgy and Bess, “I Got Plenty o’ Nothin'”).  For one reason, I am off work.  What else do I have to do but have Mohawk Valley adventures and write about them? Oh well, I guess a few things.  Laundry, finishing the banana play, learning my lines for Much Ado About Nothing, a few other assorted household chores… Ah, here we come to a truism of the Writing Life.  There are always things to do other than writing.

For example, what have I done today?  I took a lovely run, hung out with my husband till he had to go to stupid work, did several loads of laundry, including folding most of them, talked to my mother and one sister on the phone, started a letter to a friend (ooh! that was writing!), took the dog for two walks (three if you count the cool-down after my run) ,did the dishes… um, I think that was all.  Oh, all right I took a nap.  What’s your point?

The whole time I felt a dreadful resistance to writing.  This may have been pure laziness, and I tried to be firm with myself.  All I could manage was said letter to friend.  And how silly am I being?  If I truly could not progress on the banana play, I could have done a Running Commentary, a Pedestrian Post about either or both of the dog walks, or even a Preview of Coming Attractions about what I intend to do tomorrow and for the rest of the week.

And yet, here I sit, looking at my own face and getting eyestrain trying to see the words around it and just, well, typing.  The good thing is that my husband has now joined me.  I’ll read him what I have so far and see if he thinks it is OK and perhaps can help me think of a title.

 

Who, Me, Multi-Task?

It is a well-known fact that I do not have my act together.  I don’t even pretend to have my act together.  Anybody who thinks I have now or have ever at any point in my life had my act together is deluded.  Anybody with half a brain who is paying the slightest bit of attention knows: I’m a mess.

This is not to say I have no hopes of ever getting my act together.  On the contrary, I keep thinking I might.  Some days I would settle for having the various parts of my act on the same continent — oh, hell, the same planet!  Where was I going with this?

I suppose it is an introduction to another Wuss-out Wednesday post.

I did some writing earlier today, while on breaks at work.  It was on the banana play.  I got a marvelous inspiration for the plot, but I dare not say a word about it.  If you talk too much about these things you lose all impetus to write them, although sometimes the urge to talk about them is overwhelming.  For one reason, I feel so clever and pleased with myself, I almost admire my ideas as a thing entirely separate from myself and my not inconsiderable ego (when it comes to writing anyways).  I generously desire to give others the opportunity to admire (yes, quite a large ego when it comes to writing).

OK, I’ll admit it, the other reason to refrain from telling people my brilliant ideas is the quite reasonable fear that other people will not find them, or by extension me, as brilliant.

Getting back to my day, I made not one, not two but THREE stops on my way home from work.  I picked up two pairs of shoes that had been repaired at Melfe’s in Ilion, also dropping off another pair for the same repair.  I had waited far too long since Melfe’s called to tell me the repairs were done, but the people at Melfe’s were very nice about it.  I also stopped at a big-box store to purchase some yarn and a couple of other items.  My third stop was by Curves, not to exercise but to drop off an afghan I am donating to a friend who has a team walking in the Sitrin’s Stars and Strips Run/Walk.  She intends to raffle it for fundraising purposes.

As I reached home I felt I did not want to — was not capable of — accomplishing all that I had wanted to.  I was impressed enough with myself that I had made my stops. Surely I could sit down for a while.  Long story short (I know, too late), I didn’t.  I walked our dog, Spunky (I was always going to do THAT, however tired and stupid I felt).  Then I changed into workout clothes and put a load of laundry into the washer.  While the washer ran, I ran in place on the mini-tramp.  Spunky stared at me for a while, apparently waiting to see if there was any point in my gyrations.  When he couldn’t figure it out, he went and laid down on the couch.

After a short run (so boring, even with the television on!), I put the laundry into the dryer, bringing the non-drierables upstairs to hang on the bars.  Then I took my shower, put on comfy clothes and went down to the kitchen to fix dinner.  It took a while to get stuff chopped and into the pot, but soon it was simmering and I could get on the computer to check my email and Facebook notifications.

The point of this long, dull post (I hope not too dull) is, I guess, that even though I did not write a good blog post during the course of the day, I got a few things done.  I thought of that headline earlier, before I got around to composing this post.  I’m not sure it really fits, but it will have to do.  We’ll consider it a little Non-Sequitur Thursday creeping in early.  I’m sure ready to move on to the end of the week.

 

When in Doubt, Eat Ice Cream

Once again I did not write a blog post while on breaks at work.  I spent my working hours thinking about my banana play and coming up with no ideas.  If I had picked up a pen to write, I’m sure all that would have come out was what a writing crisis I was having.  I worked on cryptogram puzzles instead.  On the brighter side, I solved one that had mystified me on several previous attempts.

I made a stop on the way home, but it was at a chain drugstore.  There is nothing wrong with picking up needed items at such a store, I suppose, but it hardly offers the Mohawk Valley cachet I seek for a blog post.  It has been a dreadfully hot day (I recently read somewhere that you should say “sweltering” instead of “very hot,” but I can’t say the day felt sweltering. At least I did not use “very” for once) and I was coated with sweat by the time I got home.  Still, I got right outside with my little dog, Spunky.  We did not take a walk, though.  It was more of a brief business meeting.  There was not a chance I was going for a run.  So a Pedestrian Post or a Running Commentary was not going to happen.

Getting on the computer, I stared at a blank screen for a while.  Nothing happened.  I went into Drafts and looked at a couple I never finished but thought I might some day.  Today is not the day.  I added a couple of sentences to one.  I am not displeased with either, but, well, they need work.  I pondered my future as a blogger.

Then my husband Steven said that after the show we were watching was over (a re-run of Snapped, incidentally), he was getting a bowl of ice cream, would I like one?  It is not a good way to meet my weight-loss goals, but as a boost to my spirits, it seemed the way to go.  I said yes.  That at least gave me a title.  While I waited for the episode of Snapped to end and Steven to get our ice cream, I typed in the first paragraph and a half of this post.  After savoring the Death By Chocolate (if they meant it literally, I would have died happy), I  wrote the rest.

We’ll call this a Monday Mental Meanderings, and perhaps tomorrow I will explain exactly how I think I am ever going to meet those weight-loss goals.

 

Faux Finish Friday

This week it seems I have indulged in all my give-myself-a-break posts.  And regular readers know I almost never miss Lame Post Friday.  Additionally, I see that since Monday I have mentioned the appropriate weekday in the headline.  Can I continue the trend (I am writing the post before the headline)?  We shall see.

I spent a good deal of my time at work today wondering why I was not in a happier mood.  After all, Friday.  And I don’t have to work Saturday.  What’s not to like?  I was going home to a cute little dog, and my nice husband would be home a mere hour after me. When I got tired of wondering about that (it didn’t take long), I alternately tried to think of something silly to write about for my blog post and potential endings for my banana play.  I MUST finish that play soon!

I did not reach a satisfying destination on either of my trains of thought.  WHY are all the terrible events happening in my play?  Stephen King thinks it is scarier if you DON’T KNOW.  I see what he means, but I think it is sloppy writing.  A writer can withhold the explanation, I suppose, but personally I feel dissatisfied when I get to the end of a story and there is no reason for anything.  Oh, don’t prate to me about how “in real life we don’t know why everything happens,”  we’re talking about fiction!  But it’s neither here nor there; I don’t rule out leaving things a mystery, the more so because I don’t know why they are happening myself.

Oh dear, now you all know I am something of a sloppy writer myself (cue unkind remarks about how you knew it all along).

Speaking of sloppy writing, I am over 250 words.  I call that a respectable post. Now if only I can think of a headline that includes the word “Friday”…

 

Not Writing on Bad Attituesday

Under the heading Glass Half Full:  I get hot flashes at night, so I don’t get good sleep. Then I get hot flashes during the day, and they keep me awake, so I don’t get into trouble for falling asleep at work.  Sometimes menopause does you a favor like that.

I posted that as my Facebook status earlier this evening.  I make bold to lead with it here because, quite frankly, I got nothin’.   Yes, menopausal brain fog continues.  Additionally, it is Bad Attituesday.  I had a TERRIBLE attitude earlier today.  And I was almost completely unable to write.  Could one have something to do with the other?  No doubt these problems feed off each other.  The inability to write came first, since I have been struggling with that for a while, as regular readers know and are probably getting quite tired of hearing about.  Sorry, folks.

My attitude is a bit better since I finished my articles and sent them, with photos for one, to Mohawk Valley Living magazine.  I hope they like them.  Now I must start looking for topics for next month.  I have a couple of ideas, which would make good blog posts as well.  A good blog post for today?  Oh dear, I only wish I had one!

Before finishing my articles, Steven and I took a walk with our new little Shih Tzu Spunky.  Then I ironed patches on a couple pair of work pants:  on the butt of my BDUs and on the knee of my jeans (they are what they call “mom jeans,” and in fact they are my mom’s jeans, which I borrowed once and did not return) (in my defense, she told me I could keep them; Mom has more jeans than I do).  I just thought I’d throw in that little bit of housekeeping, so you would know that I do other things besides sit around and not write.  Happy Tuesday, everyone.

 

Murky Monday Meanderings

I am having the damnedest time making my blog post today.  I’m sitting here with my laptop on my lap, being partially distracted by an extremely cheesy true crime show on cable television, and beginning one post after another, none of them very good.

So what, I think to myself.  I can just do a Monday Mental Meanderings, also known as Yet Another Post About Why I Can’t Write a Post Today.  I was going to blame it on menopausal brain freeze (or is that brain fog?  You see what bad shape I’m in!).  I can’t remember why I decided against that course (see what I did just now?).

We went for a nice little walk with our new (to us) little dog.  We met a couple of neighborhood dogs with their person and said hello.  Spunky is much more interested in meeting other dogs than Tabby ever was.  Tabby preferred people or cats.  We only went around the block, but it was pleasant.   Alas, not eventful enough to warrant a Pedestrian Post.

I don’t even have great plans for the coming week, so I can’t do a Preview of Coming Attractions, either.  On the other hand, I do plan to run tomorrow.  I could do a Running Commentary.  How’s that for a plan?  Or perhaps I could try to write about some of the cheese I’m watching tonight.  Right now, I’m turning my foggy brain back to that.  Happy Monday, everyone.

 

Just Write?

Write anything, just write.  That is the advice they give us.

“Who is ‘they’?” you may ask in that superior tone that so annoys me.  I may well ask back, “Who are YOU?”  Oh yeah, the critics in my head.  Who invited them to this blog post anyways?

So now I’ve written a whole paragraph without too much pain or problem.  I could go on like that, but am I really best served by doing so?  Another bit of writerly advice I’ve heard is, “Give that inner critic a voice, maybe even a name.  Write out your arguments with him or her.”  The idea is I will see how spurious the inner critic’s criticisms are and/or I will become bored with listening to that fool and tune him or her out.  So there.

Do all writers have this inner critic and are all inner critics as snarky and annoying as mine?  I would not be a bit surprised.

Regular readers know I have had a bit of a problem lately.  The other day I made up my mind to Just Write More.  Of course this is a recipe for ensuring that the one thing I just can’t/don’t want to do is write.  I tried to circumvent the automatic reaction with the caveat that I could Just Write  ANYTHING.  I also sternly told myself to Just Write Anyways.

And I have written, at least in dribs and drabs.  A couple of paragraphs in the TV Journal.  A few more lines on the banana play.  A not too contemptible lead for an article for Mohawk Valley Living (along with a few contemptible leads I crossed out).  Part of a letter to my sister.  And of course blog posts.

As I often observe, one must persevere.  Ah, I think that can count as a random observation.  Remember, today is Lame Post Friday, my day for random observations and half-baked philosophy.  I think this whole post counts as the latter.  Happy Friday, everyone.

 

Why Wuss out Now?

Earlier today I was afraid this would be a Wuss-out Wednesday post and, well, here we are.  I don’t have any excuse, although I suppose I could make something up. In fact, perhaps I ought to make something up.  It would exercise my fiction muscles.

Let’s see… inclement weather?  A tornado kept me hiding in my basement, where the dampness irritated my sinuses to the point that composing a post became impossible.  Nah, nobody will buy that.  Local readers know the weather has not been bad and non-local readers can check the National Weather Service or someplace.  What else may be keeping me from posting?  A traumatic experience on the way home from work.  I was accosted by brigands.  Or does that mean pirates?  Desperadoes.  No, that’s the Old West.  Common or garden muggers? No, no, I would just write a blog post about that.

Anyways, this is not a fiction blog.  Other bloggers post stories or portions of stories, or veer off into fantasy.  I enjoy reading them, but I have never followed suit. I write fiction in my non-blogging writing life.  Novels, plays, murder mysteries and the occasional children’s story.  And let’s not forget my resume (just kidding; I don’t have a resume).

The fact is, I have not been doing enough writing of any kind lately.  The only cure for that is to Write More.  I shall get right on that and report back tomorrow what all I have written.  As always I hope you’ll stay tuned.

 

Slacker Saturday

Welcome to a new feature here at Mohawk Valley Girl: Slacker Saturday.  When you haven’t done enough to warrant a Scattered Saturday post, you didn’t write a post earlier and you just can’t wait to make your post and declare it wine o’clock. Oh, who am I kidding?  I don’t have to wait till after I post to have a glass of wine.  We’ve talked about sipping and typing before.  It is acceptable behavior among bloggers and a daily routine for some (um, I don’t do it daily.  Do you suppose I ought to?).

I worked today.  Although I was able to sleep until 3:30 instead of my usual 3:00, I’m tired.  I tried to take a nap earlier but without success.  I had a number of projects I thought I might work on, but all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and stare into space.  Naturally I stared at Facebook for a while instead.

I did spend a little time folding laundry.  Talk about a task of Sisyphus (ooh, I just figured out how to spell Sisyphus; yay me)!  Of course I love having a washer and drier in my house, but ever since I stopped going to the laundromat, I never have all my clothes clean at once!  I just can’t get to the bottom of the pile one load at a time.  I keep thinking, if I do one load every day, I will get caught up.  I can do that for maybe two days in a row.  Then if you don’t fold one load, you naturally don’t fold the next, and then you don’t want to wash another load till you fold everything you’ve washed so far.  Then sometimes you wear something out of the pile and think, “Ha, ha, don’t have to fold that one!”  Or is that just me?

One thing I did after much dithering was begin to learn my lines for Much Ado About Nothing (remember, with LiFT Theatre Company; I’m the Friar).  I had a bit of a sticky wicket when I could not find my Complete Works of Shakespeare. What’s that all about? It’s a giant yellow book, how do I lose it?  It takes a talent, I suppose.  If only I could use my powers for good.  When I lamented my loss on Facebook a kind friend offered me some Shakespeare books she doesn’t want any more (duplicates, I believe).  Another friend shared a link to all the plays.  I hope to get the books from the first friend soon (greatly prefer paper; I’m old), but in them meantime, I checked out the link, found my scenes and started studying.  Oh, how I love being in a play.

I almost forgot to mention:  I worked on my banana play while on break at work (I only got one today).  I think it is going rather well.

And look at this, I am over 500 words for one of my silly posts.  I think that deserves a toast.  Hope to see you all on Wrist to Forehead Sunday.

 

More Writing about Not Writing

Writing continues to elude me.  Could I just be lazy?  I must admit the possibility.  However, I did my best.  I did not bring a play to read or a puzzle book or even a couple of cryptograms cut out of the newspaper (it’s the Times Telegram and they call it the Cryptoquote, if you’d prefer I was more specific).  I only had my notebook and own meager brain with which to entertain myself on breaks.

Perhaps if I would have made the attempt, started to work on blog post, article or play, the words would have flowed.  Or I might have sat staring at a blank page, feeling stupid (I do NOT need any remarks about how that might be a most appropriate feeling) (you know who you are).  I went another way and started writing a letter to my sister.  Hey, at least I was writing! (Say, would that be a good title for today’s post?)

While I worked I tried to think about my banana play.  Full disclosure:  I had to keep leading my mind back to it.  All these dumb things kept popping into my head!  Mostly memories, including several old grudges I really need to let go of.  I considered making a few of those folks characters in the play or some future play or novel, then killing them off.  How satisfying would that be?  Perhaps I could try it and let you know.

In the meantime, after giving myself a stern talking-to about forgiveness and letting go of crap, I thought some more about the characters I have so far (NONE based on any people I actually know) and what might happen to them next.  I came up with a few ideas.  I’m thinking it would be a good idea to stop rambling on in this blog post and see if I can write anything down.  Then perhaps I could start working today on tomorrow’s blog post.  I used to do that all the time, when my hours were different and my bedtime later.

As for today, let’s call it another Tired Tuesday.  Those of us who were fortunate enough to enjoy a three day weekend know how tiring they can be.  Those of you who worked all weekend can bask in feelings of superiority and make whatever snide comments you like. If you make them in the comment section of this post, I will answer you politely.  I shall hope to see you all on Wednesday, when I may or may not Wuss-out (a little suspense adds spice to the blog).