Tag Archives: writing

The Incredible Shrinking Blog Post

Posted on August 4, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

As a change from a post about Why I Can’t Write a Post, how about a post about Why I Can’t Write About This Movie. Having just thought of a good title, I see I must also keep this one short.

Spoiler Alert! Because even as I say I am not writing about this movie, I may inadvertently give something away. Perhaps one day I will do a post on why I feel so obligated to always give a spoiler alert.

I DVR’d The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957) because I was certain a science fiction movie from the ’50s would offer the cheese content I desire. Will I ever learn my lesson about that?

It turns out the movie was part of a new feature on TCM (at least new to me; I don’t know how long they’ve been doing it), Essentials Junior. The Essentials, a feature I sometimes catch, shows the movies you must watch if you aspire to be a real cinemaphile (my computer says that’s not a word, but isn’t it?). Robert Osborne and a co-host of varying degrees of credibility discuss it beforehand.

Bill Hader hosts Essentials Junior, and he starts out by giving a plot summary. What’s that all about? I hate to be given a plot summary! And it seems really pointless in this case. I mean, we’ve tuned in, we’ve already decided to watch the movie. What do we need a plot summary for? As I expressed my feelings about this in the TV Journal, Hader went on to make some more substantive comments about the movie and the times in which it was made. However, I missed most of them, because I was busy writing about my disgruntlement.

Incidentally, the irony is not lost on me that as I sat there decrying plot summaries, most of my movie posts are just that.

That is really the most interesting thing I have to say about The Incredible Shrinking Man. The movie was not particularly cheesy. The effects were actually pretty good for their time. Oh sure, there was the occasional inconsistency in perspective. You’ll have that.

The problem I had with the movie — and I emphasize that this was only a problem for me, not a bad thing about the movie — is that it was deadly serious. It was, dare I say it, philosophical. And their philosophy was not half-baked! What can Mohawk Valley Girl say about a movie like that?

I promised a short post, so I’d better shut up now. Maybe this was another foolish post, but in my defense, at least this time it wasn’t all about me.

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Still Think “Blog” is a Silly Verb

Posted on August 4, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

This is what I get for not running on a Saturday: now I don’t have anything to write a blog post about. Is anybody getting tired of posts about Why I Can’t Write a Post?

Personally, I’m not. I think it’s a funny thing to write a blog post about. And it is a challenge to think of something different to say each time. At least, I hope I think of something different each time. I don’t go back and re-read these silly posts.

I was reading through all my posts. I did it once when I had been blogging (still think it’s a silly verb) about a month. Then I started to do it again when I had been at it for a year. That time it took longer, because I only want to read so many blog posts at a time. I was almost caught up when I inexplicably stopped. Perhaps I should start up again. I can write a blog post about any startling conclusions I draw (although I am more likely to come up with some half-baked philosophy about it) (I always say, go with your strengths).

The fact is, I have spent today doing mostly useful things. For “useful” you can read “boring” or at least “unblogworthy” (my computer tells me that’s not a word, but I think it should be). I did have one Mohawk Valley adventure, but you know I don’t like to write about those so soon after the fact.

On the brighter side: one adventure today, one planned for tomorrow, still time to watch a cheesy movie tonight. I may have a much better blog next week.

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Maybe More Coffee Would Help

Posted on August 3, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

So there I was at work. I had written a page on my novel before my shift began. You may remember, that novel that keeps me from writing blog posts. I was determined not to let that happen today, Lame Post Friday or not.

I was going to think about my blog post all morning till I came up with something. It’s worked before. In any case, I had reached the end of a scene in my novel and had no idea where to go next. The novel is at that stage. I’m sort of limping along till I get to the top of the next hill, to speak metaphorically.

I began to work and think (my job is the sort where you can multi-task like that) (although in general I am no fan of multi-tasking). I was drinking coffee (no, that does NOT count as another task. Sheesh!). That was it! I would write about coffee!

I began to think about all the good things I could say about coffee. I even had a few good memories to share. Oh dear, would that make it more suitable for Middle-aged Musings Monday? Well, that would be OK. I could write it today and be ahead for Monday. I could hardly wait for the nine o’clock break to write that blog post.

The break buzzer rang. I sat down and took out my notebook. And began to write a whole new scene in my novel where the characters were sitting around drinking coffee. I worked on that scene for the rest of break and most of lunch!

So once again, the novel wins, and I write a post on Why I Can’t Write a Post. I don’t think that’s so bad for a Lame Post Friday. We’ll see what the weekend brings.

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After Staring at a Blank Screen

Posted on August 2, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

It’s not that I can’t write. It’s that I can’t write a blog post!

I wrote more than two pages on my novel while at work today. OK, maybe they weren’t good pages. Maybe it’s a crappy novel. These things happen. The fact is I sat there and wrote them with a bare minimum of staring at the blank page first.

So I sit down to dash off a blog post and nothing. What’s that all about? I know damn well I wrote something about how writing the blog every day was helping me to write the novel. Is writing the novel now making me unable to write the blog? That’s ridiculous!

And obviously not true, because, look, I just wrote two paragraphs (I don’t count the first one; it’s only two sentences). I do find it interesting, if a little snake-eating-its-own-tail-ish, to write about writing. I like to read about writing, too. A writing friend of mine said she stopped doing that, because she feared she was reading about writing more than she was writing. When she said that, I just looked sheepish.

I do have some Mohawk Valley adventures planned for the weekend, one of which I alluded to in a post earlier this week (astute readers will know it when they see it) (extremely clever readers may have already guessed) (now I’m being too coy; OK, I’m done). I may even write another post about Why I Can’t Write a Post, this time thinking of something more substantive to say. In the meantime, this is Non-Sequitur Thursday, so I have only to think of a foolish headline, and I’m done.

Hope to see you on Lame Post Friday.

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Better Chop Some More Vegetables

Posted on July 29, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I was all set to have another Wrist to Forehead Sunday. Then I spent some time in the kitchen working on tonight’s dinner and tomorrow’s lunch. The therapeutic benefits of chopping vegetables are not to be denied.

If the above paragraph made any readers look forward to a cooking post, sorry. I wasn’t really doing anything more distinctive than chopping vegetables. I thought I would write about a Joan Crawford movie we just watched. I started to write it.

Soon my wrist was back on my forehead, because the post got, let’s be honest, boring. I actually thought the movie was kind of boring, but I wanted to know what happened. I don’t despair of writing something about it eventually. Sometimes you have to let these things marinade in your brain for a few days.

In the meantime, I need something for today. My husband, Steven, and I took our schnoodle, Tabby, for a walk earlier. It was perfect walking weather. Not too hot, not too humid and not too sunny. We walked by a big garage sale we had seen signs for yesterday. A nice man there petted Tabby and said they were definitely dog friendly. We bought a glass with Abraham Lincoln painted on it. I wanted to buy something since they were dog friendly.

Well, that wasn’t very distinctive either, but it got me over 200 words. What, oh what will the week ahead bring? I am so thin on Mohawk Valley adventures these days! (My wrist is still on my forehead, can you tell?)

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Lame Lament

Posted on July 27, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

So here I am on another Lame Post Friday, feeling a little discouraged about this whole blogging business.

Oh, I can hear it now, the mean people saying, “So stop writing a blog! Nobody asked you to!” And then they say, with a sniff, “We’re not MEAN, we’re REALISTIC.” I explain, “Shut up” (an SJ Perelman reference I have used numerous occasions).

That parenthetical comment raises the half-baked philosophical question of where are the lines drawn between reference, homage and stealing somebody else’s stuff? I do hope the fact that I gave credit to Mr. Perelman absolves me from charges of plagiarism (which some people feel is the sincerest form of flattery).

My other philosophical question (half-baked, of course) is where is the line drawn between discouragement and feeling sorry for oneself? I believe the difference is one of point of view. I feel discouragement; you feel sorry for yourself (oh, not you, dear reader; I’m just giving an example).

I actually thought to write a non-lame (or perhaps semi-lame) post today. I was cooking something unexpected for supper and thought to write about that. Then I realized: far too much trouble for a Friday. I’ll save it for tomorrow or next week.

If boasting no other virtue, a lame post should be short. I’ll sign off now. Happy Friday, everybody.

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Memory of Past Upsets

Posted on July 23, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I was not going to write a Middle-aged Musings Monday this week. Then in going through my notebook looking for a blank back of a page, I came across something I wrote some months ago. I was upset (never mind about what) and could not write. As I often do, I wrote about how I could not write. It was not a usable post (some of my more sarcastic readers are shuddering at the thought there there is some stuff worse than what I actually publish) (you know who you are), except for a couple of paragraphs I share with you now:

Writing this out is not helping. That has almost always been the case for me. Some people swear by writing when they are upset. They get it all out of their system and feel better. I do not experience this effect. When I write about what is upsetting me, I usually get more upset. I see how completely justified I am in being upset. I wonder why I am not more upset. I marvel at my self-restraint in not killing the people that are making me upset.

One might think this is because I was such a persuasive writer. However, in my adolescent past, when I was ill-advised enough to show what I had written to the culprits causing the upset, it did not bring them to acknowledge the error of their ways. They actually refused to see the irrefutable logic of my position. Their self-delusion appalled me.

I rather liked those last two paragraphs. Then again, perhaps my self-delusion is not appalling others. No matter. It’s Monday. I deem that a short, silly post is acceptable. If anyone disagrees, well, that might upset me. But I probably won’t write a post about how upset I am.

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Cutting the Wine Post Short

Posted on July 22, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I don’t like waiting till after 4 p.m. to write my Sunday blog post. It just encourages me to have another Wrist to Forehead Sunday.

The weekend almost started on Thursday with a wine tasting at Ilion Wine and Spirits. They normally have their tastings on a Friday, but they moved this one to Thursday because the Doo-Dah Parade was on Friday (love that name for a parade).

Steven and I showed up shortly after it began at five. A group of girls had already started sampling, but they made room for us.

I started with a KWV Sauvignon Blanc 2011 from South Africa, which I pronounced Yummy. Oh yeah, for anyone who’s never read one of my postings on wine, I’m not exactly sophisticated in this area. “Yummy” is my ultimate accolade.

Ilion Wine and Spirits always provides a sheet of tasting notes. I suppose if I wanted to sound more better I could crib from that, but that is hardly an act of integrity. The guy there said he just copied what he found on the internet.

The other white I liked was Purato Catarratto Pinot Grigio 2011 from Italy. The notes called it “slightly spitzy.” The guy said it was made from organic grapes. I pronounced it also yummy, but the first one was maybe a little more yummy.

The Rapido Red Sangiovese 2011 (Italy) was described as a “medium-bodied everyday drinking red,” and I thought that apt. You wouldn’t have to be in any particular mood for a wine like that. The other red I liked, Michael David Winery 7 Deadly Zins Zinfandel 2010 (California), was one you did have to be in the mood for. Actually, I guess it’s a mood I often have, because my remark was, “Oh, yeah.” It was a heavier, more robust wine.

Well, I see I have managed to eke out over 250 words on these wines, but I must admit I am kind of having a Wrist to Forehead Sunday. I enjoyed the wine tasting, I’m just not enjoying writing about it. Rather than segue into my usual angst about not being as able to write as I like to be, I’ll sign off. I hope to see you on Monday.

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Not Beaten, But Not Upbeat

Posted on July 16, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

My spell of bad writing days continues.

I was not able to write my post while at work today. I don’t feel able to write it now, either. I know other bloggers seem to like my silly posts about Why I Can’t Write a Post, but all I can think right now is, “My mother is going to read this!”

Ooh, didn’t that sound like I was going to write something racy? Sorry to disappoint (you know who you are).

The thing is, I bill this as a positive blog — “totally fun,” it says at the top. But one cannot be upbeat at all times. At least, I suppose one could, but not this one. And I bet the one that could gets on most people’s nerves. (Should I have put that last sentence in parentheses?)

I have not yet dried out from the flooding experienced recently by the Mohawk Valley. Of course I have a lot to be thankful for. I lost far less than others. I had help from family and friends. My basement is now in the process of drying out completely. My husband and I are in the process of cleaning out the mildew (yuck!). The hot water heater is on the way to being replaced, at which time the gas can be turned back on (warm showers and cooking on the stove! Woohoo!) (Ooh, that’s another thing to be thankful for: the electricity never got turned off).

It is, in fact, good weather to appreciate a cold shower. And who wants to heat up the kitchen by cooking on the stove anyways? I haven’t washed a pot or pan in two weeks!

Am I beginning to sound like the annoying one who is upbeat at all times? I didn’t think so, but it is good to check these things.

So I guess this is my Monday Middle-aged Musing for the week. I am well aware of many things I can be thankful for. Sometimes this knowledge does not bring about a corresponding rise in spirits. In other words, sometimes you just have to feel that way till you don’t feel that way any more.

And I hope tomorrow I will feel more like writing.

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The Bluebeard Blues

Posted on July 15, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Some time ago I was unable to complete a blog post about a cheesy movie, although I managed as usual to write something about how I couldn’t write anything (funny how that works). Today I shall try again.

Oh, yeah, usual Spoiler Alert.

I decided to take a break from my flooding woes with a movie from “50 Horror Classics,” the DVD collection I purportedly bought for Steven on his last birthday (I say purportedly, because I’m the one that watches them) (and because I like the word “purportedly”).

I chose Bluebeard (1944) starring John Carradine. I seemed to remember that Carradine was Kung Fu on a TV series years later, but I never used to watch that show, so I could not be sure (later my husband Steven told me it was David Carradine. I guess there were a few of those Carradines).

Leonard Maltin says this is a “surprisingly effective story” (Leonard Maltin’s 2013 Movie Guide, Signet, 2012). I’m surprised he thinks so, although I often disagree with Maltin.

The action takes place in Paris, I forget what year (if they ever said so), but the ladies are in long dresses and big hats. Some unknown murderer is strangling ladies and dropping them in the Seine. At least, since it is Paris, I thought it must be the Seine. I kind of shy away from the water scenes after my recent flooding experiences (that’s in addition to my usual not paying too much attention).

Nobody wants anybody to walk home alone. Some girls leaving work impatiently await their co-worker. She sidles out and tells them they needn’t have waited. She is blonde and obviously “the sexy one,” so I accordingly waited for her to make trouble, perhaps leaving that sweet, innocent-looking brunette to be the heroine.

Sweet Brunette introduces her friends to this puppeteer they meet while walking safely home. He hasn’t been giving many puppet shows lately, because of people not wanting to stay out so late, what with the murderer in all. The girls talk him into it, leading to a rather long scene with no action except for these puppets singing opera.

It turns out Sexy Blonde, not Sweet Brunette, is the heroine, but she stops acting so Mae-West-y about the time the puppeteer/murderer asks her to make some costumes for his puppets. Um, you knew as soon as I mentioned the puppeteer he was going to turn out to be the murderer, didn’t you? Oh well, that’s why I include a spoiler alert.

It seems this guy is also a painter. He paints a lady, then kills her. I gather he dates his assistant, dumps her when he goes to paint another lady, then comes back to the assistant after he’s strangled the lady he painted. I found it a little convoluted, but I guess I’m easily confused.

Maltin says the killer “falls for smart girl… who senses something is wrong.” Oh well, I suppose she is smart enough, but she’s no intrepid girl reporter. I’ll be perfectly honest, I was not paying a great deal of attention by this time and I don’t remember much. This whole review is written from my notes in the TV Journal and the blurb in Leonard Maltin.

I must say I think my posts about not being able to write about this movie were more effective than my actual post about the movie. However, since it is Wrist to Forehead Sunday, I make bold to hit publish. Wait till you read about the next cheesy horror movie I watched.

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