Tag Archives: writing

No Oomph?

Posted on October 3, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I was thinking today that I could very easily end up writing a blog entirely about How I Can’t Write a Blog Post. I would probably want to call it something different from Mohawk Valley Girl, though.

Well, I don’t think anybody could blame me for not having any Mohawk Valley adventures last week; I was sick. So what can I write about this week? If I had more oomph, I would come home from work, have a Mohawk Valley adventure and write about it. And here we come to the ugly truth about me.

As I search for something new to say about not having anything to say, I was surprised just now when my computer seemed to consider “oomph” a word. I thought it was, you know, one of those words people use that isn’t really a word. It means, you know, whatever it seems to mean in the sentence. I thought the word origin was the noise people make when they heft something heavy.

I looked it up in the dictionary after writing the above paragraph (Steven keeps one by the computer) (The American Heritage Dictionary, Third Edition, New York, 1992). It says: “n. Slang. 1. Spirited vigor. 2. Sex appeal [Of expressive orig.]”

So it seems I am right about the word origin. I guess I used it to mean spirited vigor. I mean, not to brag, but I have PLENTY of sex appeal. Sex appeal in SPADES! DRIPPING with sex appeal!

Sex appeal, as you may know, is of very little use in the composition of blog posts.

I hope you have enjoyed this week’s Wuss Out Wednesday.

Leave a comment

Posted in blogging, commentary, humor, personal, Wuss Out Wednesday and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Writing This Time

Posted on October 1, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Well, I did write something today, but this isn’t it.

I started to write a post on the last cheesy movie I saw. When I was watching it, I had a lot to say, although most of it took the form of, “You’d better not hurt that turtle!” and “Helen! Get out of there!” The post should eventually find its way to this space (doesn’t that sound like it will get there with no help from me?). Today, though, it seemed to be taking off in all directions (how’s that for anthropomorphizing a piece of writing?).

Feeling the need to change gears, I turned a page of my notebook (actually turned back a page, just to give you an idea of how organized my notebook is) and wrote a half page or so on my novel. My novel, in case I haven’t mentioned, is not going very well. Far from going off in all directions, it seems to be sitting dead still. It’s like some misshapen blob; I huff and puff and push it, but it won’t start rolling. Sooner or later I will get it to the edge of a hill (or cliff) and will go head over tail, jouncing wildly. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

Like yesterday, I do not despair. For one thing, my sinus problems (I probably shouldn’t say it out loud or I will jinx myself) seem to be receding. I don’t say my head isn’t fuzzy, because it still is (or was that obvious?), but for the first time in days I can conceive the possibility of perhaps feeling a little bit better someday.

Woohoo!

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, personal, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

I Whine, Then I Write

Posted on September 29, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

A few days ago, when I was taking kind of a blogger’s sick day, I speculated that had I stayed home and napped, drunk tea and read all day rather than going to work, I would have felt better and been able to write a better post. Today I had the opportunity to test that theory.

If you’re guessing I discovered the answer was not so much, give yourself a pat on the back, if you are able to do so without dislocating your shoulder.

Yes, I am still ill. Tuesday will make a week, but I think I will make bold to call my primary care physician on Monday to book an appointment. In the meantime, I need a blog post for today. Naturally I did not go running. I did not even feel up to a slow, gentle stroll with my schnoodle, Tabby. As I made my way upstairs and waited for the computer to get to the right page, all I could think was, “I can’t write a post! What can I write a post about? All I can say in a post is that I feel sick and I can’t write a post!”

Boohoo for me. Sorry about that.

The fact is, now that I am typing and words are appearing on the screen before me, I feel somewhat better. Still headachey, still light-headed, but insensibly somewhat better. Could it be the magic of writing? Or has the caffeine from the tea I just drank kicked in?

No matter, I am over 200 words. I have long decreed that an acceptable length for a blog post. But this somewhat better feeling is so interesting, I may go downstairs and try to write something else.

I’ll report on it tomorrow, on Wrist to Forehead Sunday.

2 Comments

Posted in humor, personal, Why I Cant Write a Post, writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Guess What Day It Is!

Posted on September 26, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

The problem with being ill is that all you can do is be ill. Thank heaven for Wuss Out Wednesday.

I daresay I might have been able to write a few paragraphs if I had stayed home from work. I could have spent the day alternately napping, drinking hot tea and reading. If I got ambitious I could have multi-tasked by reading and drinking tea at the same time. But I went to work. I need the money; this is a hobby, not a paying gig.

I guess yesterday I covered the balloon head and why doesn’t it show. Can’t think of anything new to say about my symptoms. However, after reading my true crime book on a break, I thought of something that gave me a chuckle.

I have reached the dramatic courtroom scenes, and I thought, what if a lawyer said something, and the other lawyer jumped up and yelled, “I object!” And the first lawyer said, “I’m just saying.”

Well, I thought it was funny. I went and told a co-worker and she laughed at it (or at me for thinking it was funny, I suppose). Perhaps not as good as having a camel walk around saying, “Hey, Mike! Guess what day it is!” However, one must make do.

Steven purchased some over the counter drugs for me, so perhaps tomorrow I can write a better post. As always, I hope you’ll stay tuned.

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, personal, Wuss Out Wednesday and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

I Was Going to Blame the Book

Posted on September 25, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I was moderately pleased with my blog post yesterday, especially since it was not a Monday Middle-aged Musing. I had high hopes of writing something not contemptible today.

To help matters along, I left the book I’ve been reading in my bag. It is a true crime book, and I’m really having a hard time putting it down. I thought it would help if I refrained from picking it up. Oh, I know, leaving it home would have been even more helpful. I’m only human, after all.

I wrote a couple of paragraphs on my novel before work started. I spent the first couple of hours at work thinking about what I would write. My brain hummed along. This was going to work out fine.

Several of you are probably rolling your eyes (you know who you are, don’t deny it), saying, “And then when she got to break she couldn’t write anything. We’ve HEARD this before!”

Well, I didn’t exactly write nothing, but I could not be pleased with my lead. I decided to just write whatever I could and try to cobble it together later. One contemptible sentence. One not so bad (these are my impressions at the time; I haven’t gone back to check on their veracity). The thought occurred to me, “Wow, writing sure is different from reading.” Then, “Well, duh.” The post certainly was not working out well. I wrote a little more on my novel.

I really wanted to get back to that true crime book.

I went back to work determined to think some more about what to write. Really, this is the method I have been using since I got this job and usually it works out very well. Think while working, write on break.

And then I started to feel ill. Steven has had a frightful cold this week. He went to work Monday feeling just awful. Well, I can’t say he never gave me anything (actually, when spoken it’s “never gave me nuthin'”).

There was nothing I could do but suffer. The only thing that made my day the least bit bearable was reading that damn book on breaks. Otherwise, I would have put my head down, fallen asleep, and embarrassed myself either by snoring or falling to the dirty floor.

As the afternoon wore on, I couldn’t understand how I could possibly look normal, feeling the way I felt. Why wasn’t my head eight times normal size and shaped like a balloon? Why wasn’t my face at least red and throbbing in front of where my sinuses were? I comforted myself with the thought that maybe it was not a cold after all. Maybe it was allergies. Isn’t there frost in the forecast? Relief could be a mere day away.

And that is the, as it turns out, extremely long story about Why I Didn’t Write a Blog Post Today. Hmm… perhaps not as contemptible as I had feared.

Leave a comment

Posted in blogging, humor, personal, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

How Lame of Me

Posted on September 21, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

It is Lame Post Friday, and I am indeed lame. I did not write anything at work today (except for a paragraph or two on my novel)(in the interests of accuracy). I did not think of anything I could write about. I did not come home and run or walk so as to write about that. True, I could still do one of those, but I want to get this post written NOW.

Oh, just a brief update on my computer tribulations of Wednesday. The tablet is working now. I don’t know why or how but am not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

Ah, that gives me a lame topic to write about: another Cliche Revisited (I love to pick apart a cliche). Never look a gift horse in the mouth. Why not? If you have a horse, wouldn’t you like to know how old it is? Or if it needs dental work? The Trojan Horse should definitely have been looked in the mouth, or I guess the stomach, where the soldiers were hiding. Um, I’m not clear on if the Trojans were inside the horse or the ones who received it as a gift. And I do not care enough to look it up.

Hmmm, can’t think of another cliche to refute. How lame of me.

Well, how long does a Lame Friday Post have to be to count? Usually if I go over 200 words, I am content. Ooh, and I did. Happy Friday, everybody.

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, Lame Post Friday, personal and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

NOT Waiting for Inspiration

Posted on September 18, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

It is a dry patch for me. I don’t even have the excuse that I’ve been working on my novel, because that has been going very poorly.

I was not happy with yesterday’s post. I did not think it turned out that well, and it was not even much fun to write (except for a couple of the parenthetical comments) (you know how I love parenthetical comments). The fact is, I have not been inspired lately.

I can just hear all those critics out there saying, “You don’t wait for INSPIRATION to write! If you waited for INSPIRATION to write, you would never write anything at all! REAL writers don’t wait for INSPIRATION!” I hope my capitalization gives an indication of the huffy, superior tone I hear that in.

Well, obviously I do not wait for inspiration. I wrote the post, didn’t I? I’m writing this one, aren’t I? Sheesh!

However, once one begins, one hopes to keep going. So perhaps it is not inspiration I lack so much as momentum.

And I do lack momentum, because I pulled that last paragraph out of my brain one word at a time (I know some of my more sarcastic readers think I pulled it out of somewhere else) (you know who you are, and you know where I mean).

That was as much as I was able to write while at work. Except for the last two parenthetical comments. Those I came up with just now. Could it be I was… INSPIRED?

I’M CURED!

I hope to see you on Wuss-out Wednesday, when I hope NOT to wuss out (and perhaps some readers hope I will make less use of my caps lock key).

Leave a comment

Posted in blogging, commentary, humor, personal, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Not Writing

Posted on September 16, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

It is Wrist to Forehead Sunday, and there is nothing I can do but let it continue to be Wrist to Forehead Sunday and hope that Monday is better.

And yet I still must compose a blog post.

However, another blogger once pointed out (or maybe it was somebody who commented on another blog) (or maybe it was me) that writing about not writing is still writing. Some weeks I spend a lot of time writing about why I’m not writing. I imagine it gets tiresome to some people.

What can I say? If you’re tired of reading it, QUIT READING! Oh dear, I do hope nobody did. I’m thinking this gives some people a chance to feel that delicious wave of superiority: “If I wrote a blog every day, I would make damn sure I had something to say.” Maybe there are even some readers who do write a blog every day, and do find something to say. That would be cool.

OK, so here is my assignment for the rest of the week: to write extra blog posts so that the next time I hit a wrist to forehead kind of day, I can just find one in my Draft section and hit Publish.

Won’t that be nice?

I do hope tomorrow is not Wrist to Forehead Monday.

Leave a comment

Posted in blogging, humor, personal, Wrist to Forehead Sunday, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Not Easy Being Me

Posted on August 20, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I believe I have observed before, the trouble with these “easy on myself” posts such as Lame Post Friday and Middle-aged Musings Monday (why, yes, that is today) is that I still have to write them.

I enjoy this blogging hobby, I really do. It is not burdensome to sit on my break at work and write a blog post. In fact, I did that today. Only I didn’t finish it. It is about the cheesy movie I may have alluded to yesterday (why, yes, that was Wrist to Forehead Sunday, another “easy on myself” day).

I put “easy on myself” in quotes, because quite often I find that it is not easy. The really annoying thing is, it’s not much good either. I mean, if something is difficult and not much fun, shouldn’t there be some reward? You know, like if I eat carrot sticks instead of french fries, I could lose weight (anybody out there saying in an annoying tone of voice, “I LIKE carrot sticks,” you can have mine). If I go to work, I will get a paycheck (and anybody out there who LOVES their job, I bet you don’t love it ALL the time). If I must make an effort to write, it will be good (given that “good” is a subjective term) (sorry, had to put in another parenthetical comment to be symmetrical).

I find, not so much.

Sometimes the posts I grunt out one word at a time read exactly as if I grunted. Them. Out. One. Word. At. A. Time. (and if you think it’s not annoying to type like that, try it). On the other hand, this is not a hard and fast rule. Sometimes I am glad I took the effort. Sometimes some of the things that roll off my pen in a delightful haze of I-love-to-write are… not so delightful as I thought they were.

It sounds as if I am gearing up to some half-baked philosophy about there are no guarantees. Or maybe I can only do the best I can do. Or better luck next time.

Save the half-baked philosophy for Lame Post Friday. For today, my Middle-aged Musing is: it is not always easy to write. But I sure love to do it.

Leave a comment

Posted in blogging, commentary, humor, personal, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Oh, Just Write It!

Posted on August 19, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Is cooking conducive to writing? Discuss amongst yourselves.

I am not exactly cooking as I write this (by hand in a notebook, standing at my kitchen counter). I am popping popcorn (on the stove in oil, as God intended) (it’s JUST an EXPRESSION! Sheesh!).

I wrote that much and got stuck. Still, I got the urge to open the notebook and start writing as soon as I got the oil in the pot. I thought that was interesting.

You know, I think Wrist to Forehead Sunday is becoming even more deeply ingrained into my schedule than Lame Post Friday. Actually, this morning, I am more inclined to put the palm of my hand or my cold fingers on my forehead, because I have a dreadful headache. Partying too heartily on Saturday night, you ask? Well, I don’t know about that, but I did stay up later than normal.

Be all that as it may, what is a blogger to do when a post must be written (according to my rules, anyways) but her head is aching and she wants nothing better than to retreat into the TV watching and crocheting portion of the day (I got some new yarn especially for the purpose)? What I did do was eat the popcorn and think about it (Steven was hogging the computer anyways), then pour myself some blue Gatorade (for some reason good for headaches) and get onto the computer to Write The Damn Thing Anyways.

We did go for a most enjoyable walk with Tabby earlier (before the headache had kicked in). It was still cool out, not too sunny, which was good since I had forgotten my Crazy Old Lady hat. We stopped and chatted with some neighbors who were having a garage sale (didn’t buy anything for once). We discussed our respective flood experiences, what we’d heard about who lost what, and had anybody gotten any money from insurance or the government yet. We concluded that we had been more fortunate than some others.

Well, look at that, word count over 300. I call that respectable. Don’t worry (if you even were), I won’t be too lame in the coming days. We saw an awesomely cheesy movie last night (when I may or may not have been partying too heartily), and I hope to do some bloggable cooking today. As always, I hope you’ll stay tuned.

Leave a comment

Posted in blogging, commentary, humor, personal, Wrist to Forehead Sunday, writing and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.
← Older Posts
Newer Posts →