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Lame in the Christmas Season

So I have gone a week without posting.  That is not good.  In my defense, I have had the flu, despite getting the damn flu shot!  I feel rather ill-used about that, in addition to feeling just about as crappy as I have felt in a long time.  I feel I should have a good descriptive of my crappiness, but nothing is coming (autocorrect wanted to make that “creepiness.”  More appropriate? Discuss amongst yourselves).

On the brighter side, I have been feeling Less Crappy for a couple of days now.  I don’t feel that I will ever be 100% again, but I look forward to feeling progressively less crappy as 2022 wanes.

I hold tight to that glimmer of optimism, because I am very sad about basically missing over a week of precious Christmas time.  In addition to having scandalously few presents for my family and friends and very little energy to make up the shortfall, I have missed enjoying the time.  I was about to start taking walks around the neighborhood in the evenings, to enjoy seeing people’s lights.  I was going to listen to all my Christmas CDs, a feat I have never managed in a single Christmas season.

But don’t listen to me wine.  We never do all we intend or hope, even without health issues.  I also remind myself that depression is a well-known after-effect of flu, so I must not feel too concerned about feeling a little down.  By the way, that could be a whole other blog post: how we must not beat ourselves up for feeling down, thus creating a downward spiral.

Now I see I am over 250 words.  More than respe table for Lame Post Friday!   I will just find a Christmas picture in my Media Library, to end on a festive note.

All my Santas say Merry Christmas!



Throwback? Non-Sequitur? It’s a Mystery!

Wordless Wednesday turned out pretty good (or do I flatter myself?), so I thought I would go for a Throwback Thursday Post. I’ve had those before. If I throw back to something I have thrown before, sorry.

A couple of suspicious individuals.

Here is an appropriate memory: a murder mystery dinner theatre which benefited the Herkimer County Historical Society. It was titled Secrets at Suiter House. It is appropriate, because I am currently writing and recruiting actors for another murder mystery, as yet untitled.

This is not how this looks today, but tomorrow…?

I am having a great deal of trouble navigating my Media Library, as indeed I did yesterday. As a matter of fact, yesterday I sought but did not find a picture of snow. Now I was looking for another murder mystery picture and found snow. No matter. I can just bill this as a Non-Sequitur Thursday Post.

I hate to play the illness card again, but can I just say I am still not feeling the least bit well. What the hell, body? I have things to do and blog posts to write! Can I find one more picture to pull this post together?

I loves me some Bette and Joan.

This picture is appropriate for both a Throwback and Non-Sequitur Thursday Posts. It is a publicity shot from when Joan Crawford and Bette Davis were set to star in Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte in 1964. Crawford subsequently left the production. That is pretty far back. Come to think about it, it is not a complete non-sequitur, because the movie is a murder mystery. It’s a good movie. I highly recommend it.

I am not sure I can recommend this blog post, but you’ll have that. If only I could think of a title…

And Another Thing About Me…

So it seems I didn’t do so good at getting back into blogging. Full disclosure: I’m not doing so good at other stuff either. Well, you know what they say: go big or go home. Why just screw up the blog when I can let EVERYTHING slide?

OK, that is an exaggeration (if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times: don’t exaggerate!). I have been going to work, managing eight hour days last Tuesday through Friday and today (Monday). But I haven’t done a whole lot else, and I am exhausted. Additionally, I seem to be having some mental repercussions from the illness. I feel very down and am apt to start crying at almost any excuse.

Now I feel that I have over-shared. This is a personal blog, but I did not intend for it to be me, Me, ME! I think this! I feel that! And another thing about me…

I guess I wanted to make another post just for the sake of making a post. If I make a crappy post today, maybe I could make a mediocre post tomorrow. Eventually I could work my way up to half-way decent posts. Or even good posts! No promises, though.

Is Anybody Still Tuned In?

OK, this is it: I have got to start blogging again. My problem is, all I really want to talk about is how crappy I feel. How tiresome is that! I do feel better than I felt when I first fell ill. However, I do not feel capable of doing anything useful or creative. I am rather in dread that this is my new normal.

One consolation: this is excellent as a Wrist to Forehead Sunday post. I have never felt more like swooning in despair, dramatically posed with the back of one wrist to my forehead. Why, oh why, have I never provided myself with a chaise lounge? It is clearly a necessary piece of equipment.

Now I feel a little better, because I am laughing at myself and my own self-dramatization. It is not easy being me, but it is reasonably entertaining.

For the record, I did try to return to work last Thursday. I had been off since Monday of the previous week (that is, Jan. 31 to Feb. 9) (Yikes! That’s a long time!). I made it through four miseeable hours and went home. I did not try again on Friday. I hope to try again on Monday. Eventually I hope to feel better enough to do a few things worth blogging about. I hope I have readers left by then!

Too Sick to Type Anything Good

I called in sick to work today, and I am taking a Bloggers’ Sick Day. On the one hand, you might think I would not have to. After all, I spent the day sleeping and trying to hydrate (a doctor told me the body can ride out many things if it just stays hydrated). One might think I would be feeling better enough to write something decent (wait a minute, would this be one of those hypothetical people we discussed yesterday? Never mind). It has often been observed, I can’t do anything about what other people think about me.

I am feeling marginally better. I woke up in the night with dreadful insomnia. After striving NOT to toss and turn for a couple of hours, my stomach started in. I’ll spare you a blow by blow of my sufferings, but it was bad. I am a HUGE baby when I am sick, and this was worse than my usual sinus, headache, light-headed things that I seem to spend so much time complaining about. One thing about intense nausea, when it finally goes away, I feel SO HAPPY! When the headache goes away, too, my life will be perfect.

Being sick makes for quite the boring day. Sleep felt good when I finally got some, but I couldn’t sleep all day. I read a little, but my head didn’t like that. I thought about turning on the TV but couldn’t quite make up my mind to (indecisiveness is often another symptom of these illnesses). I got on Facebook, but all I could think of was this other (terrible) job I had. A guy had called in sick, and the boss said, “But he was on Facebook this morning.” I was not even on Facebook at the time, but I remember thinking, “Oh, come on, to sit in front of the computer and maybe hit a few keys, you can do that with your head in your hands feeling awful. Getting stuff done at work, not so much.”

This morning, I wondered if any of my Facebook work friends would say, “She can’t be too sick; she was on Facebook.” So I made sure I posted how awful I was feeling. Then I felt guilty, because other people have far worse illnesses than mine (see above statement about me being a baby). Then I got off Facebook, because my head was hurting again.

My husband just looked over and said, “It sounds like you’re saying more than, ‘I’m taking a blogger’s sick day.'” Thus proving my point that you can type in dire circumstances. However, as the late, great Truman Capote once said, “That’s not writing, that’s typing.”

I Do Not Despair

After writing yesterday’s post, I felt indefinably better and thought I would go write something else to see if it made me feel better yet. I thought I could report any results today, on Wrist to Forehead Sunday.

Some of you are probably saying, “We know: she didn’t write anything, and now she’s sitting there with her wrist on her forehead, typing with one hand to tell us about it.”

Well, the joke’s on you, because I am typing with two hands. Still, the writing something else did not go as well as hoped. My brain still felt fuzzy. I thought I could watch a cheesy movie and write about it in the TV Journal. This is a technique that has served me well in the past. Yesterday, not so much.

I would start to write stuff, then the damn movie would go into a long sequence with no dialogue. I can’t keep my eyes on the screen and write in a notebook. My handwriting is messy enough when I can look at it! As dialogue returned, I thought of a number of things I could write in the TV Journal, but my fuzzy brain betrayed me. I knitted instead.

Today, I thought instead of Wrist to Forehead Sunday, I would try for a pedestrian post, so went for a walk with Steven and Tabby. This seemed like a fruitful idea: the weather was drop dead gorgeous. There might be fall/Halloween decorations to observe. Other people might be out walking that I could interact with or at least describe.

Um, no. It was a very pleasant walk, but quite uneventful. I know, that doesn’t usually stop me. Come to think of it, it hasn’t stopped me today. Two paragraphs about the walk after four paragraphs about me trying to write. My word count is higher than yesterday! Woohoo!

Regarding future plans, I do not despair of writing a post about the cheesy movie I saw yesterday. And I’m going downstairs right now to watch another monster flick. And, who knows, as the week progresses, perhaps my head with unfuzz, and I will be back to having Mohawk Valley Adventures.

Stay tuned!

I Whine, Then I Write

A few days ago, when I was taking kind of a blogger’s sick day, I speculated that had I stayed home and napped, drunk tea and read all day rather than going to work, I would have felt better and been able to write a better post. Today I had the opportunity to test that theory.

If you’re guessing I discovered the answer was not so much, give yourself a pat on the back, if you are able to do so without dislocating your shoulder.

Yes, I am still ill. Tuesday will make a week, but I think I will make bold to call my primary care physician on Monday to book an appointment. In the meantime, I need a blog post for today. Naturally I did not go running. I did not even feel up to a slow, gentle stroll with my schnoodle, Tabby. As I made my way upstairs and waited for the computer to get to the right page, all I could think was, “I can’t write a post! What can I write a post about? All I can say in a post is that I feel sick and I can’t write a post!”

Boohoo for me. Sorry about that.

The fact is, now that I am typing and words are appearing on the screen before me, I feel somewhat better. Still headachey, still light-headed, but insensibly somewhat better. Could it be the magic of writing? Or has the caffeine from the tea I just drank kicked in?

No matter, I am over 200 words. I have long decreed that an acceptable length for a blog post. But this somewhat better feeling is so interesting, I may go downstairs and try to write something else.

I’ll report on it tomorrow, on Wrist to Forehead Sunday.

An Attempt at a Pedestrian Post

Determined not to spend another post kvetching about my symptoms (well, not the WHOLE post), I came home and took Tabby for a walk. I thought I could check out the state of Halloween decorations in the neighborhood and make a full report.

For one thing, it was (and still is as I type this) a beautiful day. Warm, sunny, blue skies. This is why people love September! As I drove home from work, I saw at least three people out walking their dogs. It was obviously the day for it.

Unfortunately, I wanted nothing more than to lie down, stare at the ceiling and let the room spin (this is the kvetching part which I really cannot restrain myself from including). Over the counter remedies were not the miracle I was hoping for. I spent a good part of the day telling myself that Not As Crappy was at least an improvement. Still, dogs like to take walks, and I thought some gentle exercise in the fresh air and sunshine might help.

I got out the door as soon after coming home as possible, in case I came up with a clever and irrefutable reason not to go. I changed from my steel-toed work shoes into running shoes and grabbed a poop bag. I put on my prescription sunglasses and did not even bother carrying my clear ones. It was that sunny. Oh, and I found my crazy old lady hat. The wide brim was most welcome.

Tabby was so excited, she almost couldn’t be still while I put the leash on her. I hoped she didn’t think we were walking down to meet Steven. Once we started walking, she seemed more interested in sniffing every pole, tree and random patch of grass than in checking out the cars that went by (she doesn’t know from cars; she thinks Steven is in all of them). I let Tabby sniff almost as much as she wanted to. For one thing, that gave me a chance to stand still.

Down Bellinger Street and Church Street towards the Historic Four Corners. That comprised three blocks, by which time I realized that, standing while Tabby sniffed notwithstanding, I was not up to a long walk. I pulled her towards German Street, so we could just go around two blocks. She did not want to do that. When Tabby does not want to go, she stands perfectly still and looks at you. Then she pulls you in the direction she wants to go.

For a minute I let her pull me. Then I looked all the way down Main Street and thought that I just couldn’t do it. I turned us back toward German. She baulked. Finally I compromised by crossing the street. This she seemed most anxious to do, not even wanting to wait for passing traffic (we did, however). Then she still wanted to go south. I won the argument, and soon Tabby was walking along perfectly nicely as if this was the way she had wanted to go all along.

Well, will you look at this. I’m over 500 words and I have not even mentioned the Herkimer scenery. Unfortunately, there were very few Halloween decorations to be seen. No matter. It’s supposed to be even better weather this weekend and SURELY my sinus problems will have resolved themselves by then.

Guess What Day It Is!

The problem with being ill is that all you can do is be ill. Thank heaven for Wuss Out Wednesday.

I daresay I might have been able to write a few paragraphs if I had stayed home from work. I could have spent the day alternately napping, drinking hot tea and reading. If I got ambitious I could have multi-tasked by reading and drinking tea at the same time. But I went to work. I need the money; this is a hobby, not a paying gig.

I guess yesterday I covered the balloon head and why doesn’t it show. Can’t think of anything new to say about my symptoms. However, after reading my true crime book on a break, I thought of something that gave me a chuckle.

I have reached the dramatic courtroom scenes, and I thought, what if a lawyer said something, and the other lawyer jumped up and yelled, “I object!” And the first lawyer said, “I’m just saying.”

Well, I thought it was funny. I went and told a co-worker and she laughed at it (or at me for thinking it was funny, I suppose). Perhaps not as good as having a camel walk around saying, “Hey, Mike! Guess what day it is!” However, one must make do.

Steven purchased some over the counter drugs for me, so perhaps tomorrow I can write a better post. As always, I hope you’ll stay tuned.