Category Archives: Monday Mental Meanderings

Midsummer Monday

I began the week determined to write my blog posts in advance.  I would not spend the week composing nonsense at the keyboard, mostly about how I just can’t write a real blog post.  I was going to Write Real Blog Posts.

So far, not so good.

In my defense, quite a full weekend, ten hour day today, rehearsal tonight (you know, for the play I’m in?).  Oh, and temperatures in the 80s (92 in Little Falls, which is not that far away).  I do not work in an air conditioned building.  When I did work in an air conditioned building, I wore  sandals skirts with no pantyhose.  Now I wear steel-toed work shoes and BDU pants.  I say this with pride, not complaint.  I am bad ass.

Unfortunately, “bad ass” does not necessarily translate into “able to write awesome blog posts.”

I tried, I really did.  Actually, what I first tried to write was an article for Mohawk Valley Living magazine.  I thought perhaps I could publish a shortened version for the blog.  It did not go well.  I tried to work on my novel.  I wrote one sentence on a scene I had previously written.  That effectively brought the scene to an end.  I started another scene.  Then I couldn’t remember if one character did or did not believe in ghosts.

How could I forget such a thing?  How long have I been living with these characters?  What kind of a writer am I?  I was too traumatized to write anything else.  I looked over my lines for the play then helped a co-worker with a crossword puzzle.

Now I must finish getting ready for rehearsal.  For anyone just tuning in, it is for Roxy, at Ilion Little Theatre.  I play Roxy.  And I just realized something:  yesterday was Severed Head Sunday.  Today I am going to rehearsal for a play in which I CHOP MY HUSBAND’S HEAD OFF!  Oh how delightful to have something in common with Joan Crawford!

So what if I can’t always write an awesome blog post?  I’m still bad ass.

 

Murder on Monday

I see that last Monday was “World’s Dumbest Monday”, which makes me a little embarrassed to feel as dumb as I do today.  No matter, dumb or not, I must make my blog post.

I don’t feel like watching World’s Dumbest today anyways.  I feel like watching my other favorite guilty pleasure show, SnappedSnapped is a documentary show about women who kill.  I think I wrote a blog post about it some time ago (too lazy to go back and check), but I have another reason to watch it and write about it today.  I feel it will inform my character of Roxalana Druse.

As regular readers may recall, I have the title role in Roxy, a play being presented by Herkimer County Historical Society and Ilion Little Theatre.  It is a new play written by a local author about Roxalana Druse, the last woman hanged in Herkimer County.  She killed her husband by shooting him then chopping his head off with an axe. I think he was asking for it, but perhaps that’s just me being in character.

That last sentence was just me being silly.  It is actually a serious play, probably the most serious I’ve ever been in.  Therefore, one might wonder if watching one of my guilty pleasure television shows is really the best way to prepare.  Listen, don’t try to second guess the processes of the creative mind.

More to the point, it’s Monday and I’m tired. It was a rough weekend and I’m not a young woman.  I studied my lines while on breaks at work and if I want to sit and watch a murder show on cable television, I will.  And I’ll write more about Roxy soon.

 

World’s Dumbest Monday

Note to self: If you foolishly decide to run the Boilermaker 15K again, be smart enough to take the NEXT DAY OFF.  It was not such a bad day, but oh, it was long, oh, I was tired, and, oh, I do not feel like writing a blog post right now.  I know, what a kvetch. I should get over myself.

In fact, I did write something while at work.  I don’t feel like typing it in (too long, needs editing).   I got two paragraphs typed in before I petered out.  I’ll finish it tomorrow or Wednesday.  Unless I go running on those days and write running commentaries.   After all, a good run might help my aching legs, then I wouldn’t complain so much.

In the meantime, I would like to post something so I can go back to watchingWorld’s Dumbest on TruTV and enjoying the evening with my husband  (you see what I did with that headline:  I’m watching World’s Dumbest and I’m apologizing because today’s post is kind of dumb).  What to write?  What to write?  What to write?

It was my first day back at work after two weeks off.  I’m going to just go ahead and confess, I did not get much writing done during my time off.  How embarrassing is that?  I have to wonder, is this one reason I’m having such trouble today?  I often observe, writing begets writing.  Maybe I just have not been writing enough.

Ah, but the thought brings me a frisson of hope. Perhaps by writing this blog post, dumb as it may be, I will gain some momentum and write something else.   Maybe after a good night’s sleep and something for my aching middle-aged muscles.

 

 

On Your Mark, Get Set, Get Nervous

It’s a Mental Meanderings Monday and let me tell you, today I am all over the map.  Not literally.  I did take a long walk that covered a bit of the map of Herkimer, but that’s neither here nor there. Or rather, that was here and there.  Oh dear, I am not making much sense today.

The fact is, the Boilermaker is a mere five days away and I am NERVOUS.  Here’s now nervous I am:  I just hit something and erased what I had just typed in.   As I tried to get it back, I thought, really, no big whoop, it was a dumb paragraph. I can write something better.  Then I got it back and thought, waste not, want not (a favorite saying of mine).

It’s just pre-race jitters, a perfectly normal phenomenon.  All I have to do is get to the race and start running and I’ll be fine.  Well, there’s one problem right there: I have to get to the race.   I keep telling myself:  it’s not a problem:  Steven will drop me off.   So why do I still feel nervous?  OK, try not to dwell on it.  Drink some water.

There’s another problem:  am I hydrated enough?  I keep drinking water, with an occasional break of Gator Ade or seltzer with lemon.   OK, I drank coffee this morning.  Two and a half cups.  I’m sure that’s too much.  And I probably should not have had that wine yesterday.  It is kind of a thing with me to enjoy a glass or two of white wine on a Sunday, but I suppose one ought to forgo these things a week before the Boilermaker.

Well, I can’t help the coffee and wine I already drank, can I?  I can’t help the sprints I didn’t run; it’s too late now.  As a matter of fact, I think I did train enough to run 15 Ks. My last few runs have felt really good.  Maybe not for the whole run, but for a good part of it.  Perhaps I could have run more and would feel even better now, but all things considered (you know, like being  middle-aged and having a life plus the changeable Mohawk Valley weather), I think I did OK.

So I guess this is my post for the day.  I’ve blathered on for almost 400 words about my foolish nerves.  I’d like to feel I’ve gotten it out of my system.  I have rehearsal tonight for Roxy, the play I am in at Ilion Little Theatre.  Perhaps tomorrow I could take a day off from All Boilermaker All The Time and write about that.

 

Maybe a Thunderstorm Would Have Helped

Today is Mental Meanderings Monday.  Last Monday I said I could not make up my mind between Mental Meanderings and Monday-Middle-aged Musings, but today I feel pretty meandery.  My mind wanders.  If my feet didn’t hurt so much my body might wander, but let’s not worry about that right now.

 

This happens sometimes, as long time readers may have noticed.  I’ll go days and weeks of dumb post after dumb post.  The sad thing is, many of these days I am so writing something during the day.  Then I kind of peter out before I get to the blog post.  I know, I should write the blog post first.  I’ll try that tomorrow.

 

Today was a sticky, muggy day.   I do not feel as if my brain is fried, but perhaps it may have been steamed.  And not crisp-tender, like my vegetables when they turn out right.   Limp, discolored, useless.

 

We were promised thunder storms.  Many of my co-workers spend half the day on their smart phones, looking at the internet or getting texts from their loved ones.  In the latter case, the loved ones have often been on some device to get the weather and share what they have learned.  So I heard severe thunderstorms were headed our way.  Then I heard there was a tornado watch.

 

“If there is a tornado, I’m not going to watch,” I said.  “I’ll go into my skanky basement and hide.”  My basement is pretty skanky.  It wasn’t that great to start with and it has never recovered from the flood of 2013.  I am not motivated to do much about it, although I suppose it would behoove me to do so.

 

Local readers know there were no thunder storms, much less any tornadoes.  We had rain.  Which means I do not have to water my plants again today.  Score!  I’m going to hit Publish on this piece of nonsense and pick up a notebook (do I need to specify I mean the spiral-bound paper kind?) and get a start on tomorrow’s post.

 

As If I Had Actually Written Something

Oh, just type anything.

 

That is what I finally said to myself after staring at the blank space under “Add New Post” on the wordpress page.   It is Monday, so I know I can do a Middle-age Musing Monday or a Monday Mental Meanderings (still can’t decide between those two).  However, whatever I do, I must actually type words into the computer.

 

It’s a funny thing about words and me.  Sometimes they just fall out of my fingers, via pen or keyboard.  Today at work (BEFORE work and while ON BREAK, in case you were concerned), I wrote almost two pages on my novel (YES, the novel I was supposed to finish in May, don’t judge).  Got to the end of the scene, yes!

 

Couldn’t start another scene.  I was just blank.  And the blankness continues.  All I can write about, and I realize this seems to happen to me frequently, is the fact that I can’t write.   AAAUUUGH!!!

 

I could blame the weather:  it became cold and rainy today.  It brought on flashbacks to 2013.  In 2013, I had signed up for a St. Baldrick’s Day fundraiser.  I asked for donations to help cure children’s cancer, then I got my head shaved.  That happened June 2.  It was swelteringly hot all May.  I cursed my hair, which I had not cut for almost two years.  I got it shaved.   Then the weather turned cold.  It was a rainy, miserable June.  Then Herkimer flooded on June 30.

 

You know, I could have expanded that last paragraph into a full blog post, and it would have looked as if I had actually written something.  Silly me.

 

Curse You, Noah Webster!

Whether I call it Monday Middle-aged Musings or Monday Mental Meanderings, today’s is going to be a foolish post.  I don’t know what it is with Mondays, but I am always so tired at the end of the day.  Perhaps it is the onset of middle age, which makes the former title more appropriate.  No matter.  My plan right now is to type in a few paragraphs then attempt to do at least one more useful thing before retiring to bed in self-pitying tears.

 

Just kidding.  I won’t cry and I am not feeling sorry for myself.  If anything, I feel bad for my blog readers, who may be looking for something a little more… shall we say, coherent.  However, if that is the case, the blogosphere is wide and varied.  Surely a blog reader can find something to please.

 

Here’s something interesting:  my computer seems to think blogosphere is not a word.  Perhaps I have it misspelled.  My Random House Webster’s College Dictionary is within reach, but I fear it was published before “blog” was a word, let along “blogosphere.”  I used to have a friend who enjoyed looking in older dictionaries and laughing about words that were missing.  “Computer” is the only example I can think of, unfortunately.

 

I just checked; “blog” is not in my dictionary.  “Computer” is, of course.  Now that I think of it, I don’t see why “computer” would not be in any dictionary.  According to this one, the word “compute” dates from 1630 to 1640, as does “computer,” which means “one that computes.”  Perhaps my memory is at fault and my friend was laughing at the outdated definitions.

 

And that brings up one thing that really annoys me.  Remember in school, when you had to write definitions of words and  you could NOT use a form of that word in your definition?  For example, if the word was “computer” and you put “one that computes,” you would get marked wrong and the teacher would probably say something rude and belittling (my teachers were not big on building self-esteem).  AND WHAT DID THE DICTIONARY JUST DO???  Curse you, Noah Webster!

 

I believe I have now been sufficiently foolish, and I am over 350 words.  I call that a respectable blog post.  I hope to see you lovely people again on Tuesday.

 

Blog then Bed

Is it Mental Meanderings Monday or Middle-aged Musings Monday?  Discuss amongst yourselves.

 

I bet that wasn’t a very long discussion.  Probably a couple, “I don’t care what you call it,” a few, “Oh, no, not another silly post,” or even, “Oh, goody, another silly post.”   Perhaps somebody brought up my love of alliteration.  In admiration or annoyance? (Did you notice what I did just then?)

 

It seems I am too tired to write a decent blog post.  The reason I am so tired is that I have been working on my articles for Mohawk Valley Living, my favorite magazine.  I daresay I flatter myself, but I think they are pretty good.  If only I could get them finished, polished and submitted, my life would be perfect.  I know what some of you are thinking: why didn’t I just publish one of the articles for my blog post?  I have done that on occasion, but I kind of feel like it’s cheating (hey, that’s something else you can discuss amongst yourselves).

 

Another factor in tonight’s trouble in coming up with a blog post is that I really need to get to bed early.  My husband has an early shift at work, for which he prefers to rise at 3:30 a.m.  I go to work at my normal time of seven, making an early morning run a good idea.  Hey, that means I could write tomorrow’s blog post about the run.  Score!

 

In the meantime, we all know Monday can be a painful day for us Monday through Friday wage slaves, as is the day after a day or days off for those who work different hours.  As I said yesterday, all I can do is stay hydrated and try again tomorrow.  Happy Monday, everyone.

 

 

Bogged Down in the Blog

Still can’t do it.  Yesterday I started writing a post about getting out of the funk I was in.  I got all bogged down and ended up writing some silliness suitable for Wrist to Forehead Sunday.  Today I tried to edit what I had written, feeling it would make a dandy Middle-aged Musings Monday.  Got bogged down a again.

 

What, I ask you, is a blogger to do?  (This may or may not be a rhetorical question; reader’s choice.)

 

I did take a lovely walk with my nice husband, Steven, and our beloved schnoodle, Tabby.  I could write a Pedestrian Post and have done with it.  It was an enjoyable walk.  The temperatures have warmed up.  I was fine in a regular sweatshirt, although I did put the hood up when my ears got cold.  We saw some daffodils, a few crocuses and some little purple flowers which I could not identify (must ask my Mom; she knows all that stuff).

 

Tabby, by the way, seems to be recovering nicely from her Lyme Disease.  She ran around barking when she knew a walk was imminent.  She is not completely herself yet.  When I got her a treat after the walk, she did not jump up on her hind legs to get it but waited for me to bring it down to her level.   However, she is definitely on the mend, for which Steven and I are quite grateful.

 

As for me, the walk did not exactly cure my funk, but I think it helped.  Fresh air, good company, exercise, what’s not to like?  Could it be that my funk, like Tabby’s Lyme Disease, is not something  I can just snap out of?  Perhaps I could gradually emerge from it, feeling a little better each day, till I am busily writing, completing tasks as I hope to.

 

In any case, this is my Middle-aged Musings Monday post.   Ooh, I just remembered something.  A few weeks ago I changed it to Monday Mental Meanderings.  Did I mention I am in a funk?

 

Another Meandering Post

Last week I tried to write a post ahead, in case it was not easy to write a post during Fabulous Wine Tasting Weekend.   I ended up not using what I wrote, because I thought it needed to be edited and polished (I think I wrote a blog post about it).  Looking at it again, I feel it will work find for a Mental Meanderings Monday.  Here it is:

 

I ran Wednesday and thought to do a running commentary.  My inner monologue as I ran seemed interesting enough, to me anyways.

 

Of course the operative thing to do is to sit right down soon after the run and write the thing (YES, I shower first!  I said SOON after! Sheesh!)  That is my usual method, composing at the computer.  Today, however  (this was written Thursday), I am sitting in the break area at work before my shift starts, scribbling in a spiral notebook with a stolen pen (well, not exactly stolen; somebody left it sitting on a table.  Let’s call it purloined, which has the charm of alliteration).

 

I go on about this minutae, because I am fascinated by the mechanics of writing.  I think a lot of people are. Hence, the plethora of books about writing.  Of course, they don’t always tell me what I really want to know. When do you write?  Where do you write?  Pen, pencil or keyboard?  How long is a writing session?  And my biggest question:  How in a busy life do you carve out time to write and stick to it?

 

Regarding the last question, my growing suspicion is that a lot of writers don’t know exactly how they do it, and I make bold to suggest that a lot of them have the niggling guilty feeling that they are not doing it enough.  Most of them end with a huffy statement along the lines of, “If it’s important to you, you’ll do it.”

 

Yes, that’s all very well.  I find it more helpful to hear concrete suggestions such as, “Get up an hour earlier” and “Write on your lunch break.”  Some people intone “Time management” as if it is a magic elixir you can buy in a bottle that makes more hours appear in a day.  We all know it’s not that easy, and I appreciate the writer that acknowledges that fact.

 

Let’s look at the other advice about writing.  Many writing books say things like, “Find what works for you.”  Obviously.  In fact, I’d almost put that under the “Well, duh” category, except that there are some things the writing books say you ABSOLUTELY MUST DO.  There are always people who like to dictate as well as some techniques that work so well for so many people they take on the aura of a truism.

 

To take a non-writerly example: when you diet, only step on the scale once a week.  The idea  behind this is that you save yourself stressing over the one and two pound fluctuations that will happen to the best of us.  Most people are quite content to follow this advice and find that it works for them.  I personally step on the scale every day.  Those little one-pound gains you’re not supposed to stress over?  I take them as reminders to stay on the straight and narrow.  The one pound losses you also should not take too seriously?  Encouragement, which I need in spades.

 

So, yes, we must find and follow what works for us.  For example,  I find that it works for me to write a blog post every day, however silly it may turn out to be.  Ah, but an important part of that sentence is “I find.”  We must FIND OUT what works for us.  In that quest, I like to read other writers’ advice.  I do not always take the advice.  I hope nobody is offended.

 

And now I feel my mind has meandered enough.  Happy Monday, everybody.