The Incredible Shrinking Blog Post

Posted on August 4, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

As a change from a post about Why I Can’t Write a Post, how about a post about Why I Can’t Write About This Movie. Having just thought of a good title, I see I must also keep this one short.

Spoiler Alert! Because even as I say I am not writing about this movie, I may inadvertently give something away. Perhaps one day I will do a post on why I feel so obligated to always give a spoiler alert.

I DVR’d The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957) because I was certain a science fiction movie from the ’50s would offer the cheese content I desire. Will I ever learn my lesson about that?

It turns out the movie was part of a new feature on TCM (at least new to me; I don’t know how long they’ve been doing it), Essentials Junior. The Essentials, a feature I sometimes catch, shows the movies you must watch if you aspire to be a real cinemaphile (my computer says that’s not a word, but isn’t it?). Robert Osborne and a co-host of varying degrees of credibility discuss it beforehand.

Bill Hader hosts Essentials Junior, and he starts out by giving a plot summary. What’s that all about? I hate to be given a plot summary! And it seems really pointless in this case. I mean, we’ve tuned in, we’ve already decided to watch the movie. What do we need a plot summary for? As I expressed my feelings about this in the TV Journal, Hader went on to make some more substantive comments about the movie and the times in which it was made. However, I missed most of them, because I was busy writing about my disgruntlement.

Incidentally, the irony is not lost on me that as I sat there decrying plot summaries, most of my movie posts are just that.

That is really the most interesting thing I have to say about The Incredible Shrinking Man. The movie was not particularly cheesy. The effects were actually pretty good for their time. Oh sure, there was the occasional inconsistency in perspective. You’ll have that.

The problem I had with the movie — and I emphasize that this was only a problem for me, not a bad thing about the movie — is that it was deadly serious. It was, dare I say it, philosophical. And their philosophy was not half-baked! What can Mohawk Valley Girl say about a movie like that?

I promised a short post, so I’d better shut up now. Maybe this was another foolish post, but in my defense, at least this time it wasn’t all about me.

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Still Think “Blog” is a Silly Verb

Posted on August 4, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

This is what I get for not running on a Saturday: now I don’t have anything to write a blog post about. Is anybody getting tired of posts about Why I Can’t Write a Post?

Personally, I’m not. I think it’s a funny thing to write a blog post about. And it is a challenge to think of something different to say each time. At least, I hope I think of something different each time. I don’t go back and re-read these silly posts.

I was reading through all my posts. I did it once when I had been blogging (still think it’s a silly verb) about a month. Then I started to do it again when I had been at it for a year. That time it took longer, because I only want to read so many blog posts at a time. I was almost caught up when I inexplicably stopped. Perhaps I should start up again. I can write a blog post about any startling conclusions I draw (although I am more likely to come up with some half-baked philosophy about it) (I always say, go with your strengths).

The fact is, I have spent today doing mostly useful things. For “useful” you can read “boring” or at least “unblogworthy” (my computer tells me that’s not a word, but I think it should be). I did have one Mohawk Valley adventure, but you know I don’t like to write about those so soon after the fact.

On the brighter side: one adventure today, one planned for tomorrow, still time to watch a cheesy movie tonight. I may have a much better blog next week.

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Maybe More Coffee Would Help

Posted on August 3, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

So there I was at work. I had written a page on my novel before my shift began. You may remember, that novel that keeps me from writing blog posts. I was determined not to let that happen today, Lame Post Friday or not.

I was going to think about my blog post all morning till I came up with something. It’s worked before. In any case, I had reached the end of a scene in my novel and had no idea where to go next. The novel is at that stage. I’m sort of limping along till I get to the top of the next hill, to speak metaphorically.

I began to work and think (my job is the sort where you can multi-task like that) (although in general I am no fan of multi-tasking). I was drinking coffee (no, that does NOT count as another task. Sheesh!). That was it! I would write about coffee!

I began to think about all the good things I could say about coffee. I even had a few good memories to share. Oh dear, would that make it more suitable for Middle-aged Musings Monday? Well, that would be OK. I could write it today and be ahead for Monday. I could hardly wait for the nine o’clock break to write that blog post.

The break buzzer rang. I sat down and took out my notebook. And began to write a whole new scene in my novel where the characters were sitting around drinking coffee. I worked on that scene for the rest of break and most of lunch!

So once again, the novel wins, and I write a post on Why I Can’t Write a Post. I don’t think that’s so bad for a Lame Post Friday. We’ll see what the weekend brings.

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After Staring at a Blank Screen

Posted on August 2, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

It’s not that I can’t write. It’s that I can’t write a blog post!

I wrote more than two pages on my novel while at work today. OK, maybe they weren’t good pages. Maybe it’s a crappy novel. These things happen. The fact is I sat there and wrote them with a bare minimum of staring at the blank page first.

So I sit down to dash off a blog post and nothing. What’s that all about? I know damn well I wrote something about how writing the blog every day was helping me to write the novel. Is writing the novel now making me unable to write the blog? That’s ridiculous!

And obviously not true, because, look, I just wrote two paragraphs (I don’t count the first one; it’s only two sentences). I do find it interesting, if a little snake-eating-its-own-tail-ish, to write about writing. I like to read about writing, too. A writing friend of mine said she stopped doing that, because she feared she was reading about writing more than she was writing. When she said that, I just looked sheepish.

I do have some Mohawk Valley adventures planned for the weekend, one of which I alluded to in a post earlier this week (astute readers will know it when they see it) (extremely clever readers may have already guessed) (now I’m being too coy; OK, I’m done). I may even write another post about Why I Can’t Write a Post, this time thinking of something more substantive to say. In the meantime, this is Non-Sequitur Thursday, so I have only to think of a foolish headline, and I’m done.

Hope to see you on Lame Post Friday.

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The Post is Cheesier than the Movie

Posted on August 1, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I DVR’d Paid (1931) purely because it starred Joan Crawford. I don’t know why I do that. Back in the days of the studio system they simply ground out movies. Even the few stars that never signed or fought their contracts made a few stinkers. Then again, shouldn’t I be looking for a stinker, given my penchant for writing about cheesy movies? I thought it was a win-win situation. Turns out not so much.

Paid was made pretty early in Crawford’s career. So early, in fact, that some would say it was before she was really Joan Crawford. By that of course I mean without the famous eyebrows and shoulder pads. She already has a presence, though, or she does as the movie progresses. In the first scene she looks pretty terrible as she is sentenced to three years in prison for theft she did not commit. She shows a flash of strength as she vows revenge on the man pressing charges, the owner of the department store where she slaved away for wages that didn’t pay the bills.

They don’t waste too much time in prison, but long enough for Crawford to make a friend who promises her a way to make money when they get out. This turns out to be prostitution, which our Joan does not end up going through with. At least, she goes home with a guy but doesn’t sleep with him, so I guess it’s prostitution. You know how circumspect these old movies are about sex stuff.

After turning down an invitation to lead a different life of crime, she finds a “legal” way to make money. Suddenly she’s all self-confident and calling all the shots. And the cops are SO after her. Then the plot gets a little convoluted.

She marries this handsome rich young thing, who turns out to be — surprise to us but not to Crawford — the son of the store owner she has vowed revenge against. I guess marrying the son is her revenge. And she claims not to love him, although she can’t look him in the face when she says so.

Her crooked friends — who were never quite comfortable living on the right side of the law anyways — are conned into one last big score. Of course that is a movie staple to this day: one last big score.

This was about the time I left the room to make popcorn, leaving Steven to keep track of what was going on. It wasn’t just my usual not paying attention mode: this is a boring movie. I don’t know why. The plot actually seems pretty good. And Joan Crawford — there could be no possible objection.

I’m afraid my write-up is pretty boring too. I am in a hell of a mid-week slump and I don’t know that things are going to get any better. I look forward to Non-Sequitur Thursday and Lame Post Friday. I do hope you’ll stay tuned.

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Wicked Good Program

Posted on July 31, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

For some time I had been intrigued by a book titled Wicked Mohawk Valley at the Herkimer County Historical Society. While attending a program on Strike Story (perhaps you read my blog post about that), I heard there was to be a program on the Wicked book on July 25, which was last Thursday. I made immediate plans to attend.

Steven worked till seven so had to join the program already in progress, but I got there in plenty of time. Before the actual program, we heard a few previews of upcoming attractions. I made note of two: a Wine Tasting and Tour at the Balloon Farm Bed and Breakfast in Frankfort, NY from 1 to 4 p.m. Aug. 4, and a walking tour of the Frankfort Cemetery at 6 p.m. Aug. 26 (I hope those are also previews of coming attractions for blog posts).

Dennis Webster is the author of Wicked Mohawk Valley as well as Wicked Adirondacks and Haunted Mohawk Valley. The last, co-authored by Bernadette Peck, was given to me by Steven last Christmas. I had not even noticed it was the same author, so add that to the list of things I don’t pay enough attention to.

Wicked Mohawk Valley is a collection of true stories about famous or rather infamous area dwellers, mostly from history. Naturally, Webster included chapters on Chester Gilette and Roxalana Druse, two very well-known figures (at least to this blogger). However, since those two have been covered quite extensively elsewhere, Webster merely mentioned them at Thursday’s program.

The most famous person he talked about, and his favorite story, was Dutch Schultz, Public Enemy No. 1 after Dillinger died. I never knew Schultz was tried in Malone, NY, a place I have visited many times. The authorities were trying to get Schultz the same way they had gotten Al Capone, on tax evasion. They chose Malone as a place where they hoped Schultz did not own all the cops and judges.

It was perhaps a mistake to let Schultz know in advance where the trial was to be held. He and his PR team arrived a month before the trial and went on a charm offensive. He went to ball games and cheered for the home team. He bought rounds at the local watering hole. He gave a party for all the kids in town. He told everyone he was just a hardworking businessman who had tried to settle with the IRS for $100,000 and was being persecuted. Who wouldn’t believe such a nice guy?

Webster went on to tell a few more stories from the book, which does not include a lot of stories about gangsters. For one thing, the mafia in Utica was covered quite well in a series in the Utica OD recently. It sounds like he found a lot of really interesting stories outside the mafia.

Webster also talked about Haunted Mohawk Valley. The folks at the program seemed more interested in ghosts than gangsters. Perhaps he will do another program highlighting his haunted activities.

I thoroughly enjoyed Thursday’s program. I can’t wait till Steven buys me Wicked Mohawk Valley for my birthday!

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Accidentally Uncheesy

Posted on July 30, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Spoiler Alert! I don’t know why I’m even putting a Spoiler Alert on this one, because I am really going to try not to spoil anything.

I usually like to write about cheesy movies, but I accidentally watched kind of a good one yesterday and thought I’d like to write a few words about it.

When I first decided to DVR The Whole Truth, I thought it starred Farley Granger. Then I saw it was Stewart Granger, who I am not at all familiar with. Still, the plot involved a wife who did not believe her producer husband had stabbed his actress lover (that was in the description on digital cable). That sounded pretty good. Maybe it would be like a Bluebeard thing, with the wife all unsuspecting and the husband plotting against her. Perhaps it would include some stupid movie female behavior I could rail against.

The wife is played by Donna Reed, which is movie shorthand for Perfect Wife. Who would plot against Donna Reed? OK, I’ve only seen Donna Reed in a couple of things and the only one I recall with any clarity is It’s a Wonderful Life. But I’ve heard.

Stewart Granger, it turns out, is pretty hot, in a ’50s leading man sort of way. I can see why the actress lover won’t let him go easily, although, truth be told, she is the sort whose motto is “Every man for myself.”

The movie opens right at the exciting part, then flashes back to what got us there. And that’s about all I want to tell you about the plot, because it is a nice twisty, turny one. There are a couple of “What the hell?” moments, and a whole lot of “How’s he going to get out of that?”

I recommend the movie. I don’t know if it’s available on DVD, because it is not listed in VideoHound’s Golden Movie Retriever 2005 (Thomson Gale, 2005). I thought VideoHound listed everything. Leonard Maltin doesn’t list it either. But if you come across it on TCM like I did, check it out.

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Better Chop Some More Vegetables

Posted on July 29, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I was all set to have another Wrist to Forehead Sunday. Then I spent some time in the kitchen working on tonight’s dinner and tomorrow’s lunch. The therapeutic benefits of chopping vegetables are not to be denied.

If the above paragraph made any readers look forward to a cooking post, sorry. I wasn’t really doing anything more distinctive than chopping vegetables. I thought I would write about a Joan Crawford movie we just watched. I started to write it.

Soon my wrist was back on my forehead, because the post got, let’s be honest, boring. I actually thought the movie was kind of boring, but I wanted to know what happened. I don’t despair of writing something about it eventually. Sometimes you have to let these things marinade in your brain for a few days.

In the meantime, I need something for today. My husband, Steven, and I took our schnoodle, Tabby, for a walk earlier. It was perfect walking weather. Not too hot, not too humid and not too sunny. We walked by a big garage sale we had seen signs for yesterday. A nice man there petted Tabby and said they were definitely dog friendly. We bought a glass with Abraham Lincoln painted on it. I wanted to buy something since they were dog friendly.

Well, that wasn’t very distinctive either, but it got me over 200 words. What, oh what will the week ahead bring? I am so thin on Mohawk Valley adventures these days! (My wrist is still on my forehead, can you tell?)

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Nowhere to Go But Up

Posted on July 28, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I have not been running enough lately but did not feel I could use that as an excuse to not run today. Steven left for work at 6:20 a.m. I left at the same time.

I turned toward Steuben Street, thinking to go up that hill. Full disclosure: I could not remember the name of the street till I got to it and saw the sign. That’s how little I’ve been running lately, because that is a usual Saturday morning run for me.

As I turned down German Street the sun was right in my eyes. How annoying. At least I could see the sidewalk a few feet in front of me, so no danger of tripping and falling on my stupid face. At least, less danger. I’m so clumsy I guess there are no guarantees. However, I reached Steuben without mishap (making a mental note of the name) and started up.

Who remembered that the hill was so steep and long? Not me! Oh no. There were only a couple of opportunities to turn off. Should I take the first, easier one? No! I was going to be tough!

What the hell do I have to be so tough for? I thought that hill was going to go on forever. The sidewalk ends pretty quickly and there is no shoulder to speak of. Traffic is light early Saturday morning, of course, but I encountered a few cars and trucks. Most of them at least crossed the center line for me. I suppose I can’t expect them to slow down much as they are going downhill. I at least gave them the little thank you wave for getting over.

Since, as I mentioned, I have not been running enough, I could not quite remember how far up the tough girl turn-off was. Around this curve? No. The next curve? No. Oh dear. Lots of curves on this road. Was that a hoof print in the gravel? Any observation to distract myself is useful. I looked around for deer, which you occasionally see on that road.

I started looking through trees to my right. You can see the road you turn on to through them before you actually get to it, and that’s kind of an encouraging sight. No far nothing but trees. Darn. Wait, surely that was the turn off? No, just a driveway. Well, I was certainly toughening myself up, wasn’t I?

At last! I could see the road I wanted through the trees. Now it was only a question of where the damn turn off was. The sharper the angle, the longer till I got to the turn. Damn, it must be a V! At last I reached it. Aaah!

And remembered that after a very short down-slope the road goes up again. What’s that all about? I felt so ill-used. And annoyed with myself for forgetting that little detail. No matter, I told myself. It was not all that steep an up-slope, and it was a quieter, residential area. I admired a few houses. I didn’t think I remembered any dogs on this stretch.

Then I was on the down-slope again. Which I had forgotten was so steep! It’s a little scary going down a steep down-slope. My husband, Steven, tells the story of running down a hill when he was a kid and being unable to stop. I suppose if it was a race I might throw caution to the wind and see how fast I could get. As it was, I leaned back and took advantage of gravity without letting gravity take control of me (how’s that for a sound bite?)

It was actually a pretty good run. I even encountered my friend, Nicky and his person when I got back on German Street. Naturally I stopped long enough to pet Nicky (such a good dog) and exchange greetings with his person. As Tabby graciously walked my cool-down with me, I felt pretty terrific. I might even run another hill tomorrow.

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Lame Lament

Posted on July 27, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

So here I am on another Lame Post Friday, feeling a little discouraged about this whole blogging business.

Oh, I can hear it now, the mean people saying, “So stop writing a blog! Nobody asked you to!” And then they say, with a sniff, “We’re not MEAN, we’re REALISTIC.” I explain, “Shut up” (an SJ Perelman reference I have used numerous occasions).

That parenthetical comment raises the half-baked philosophical question of where are the lines drawn between reference, homage and stealing somebody else’s stuff? I do hope the fact that I gave credit to Mr. Perelman absolves me from charges of plagiarism (which some people feel is the sincerest form of flattery).

My other philosophical question (half-baked, of course) is where is the line drawn between discouragement and feeling sorry for oneself? I believe the difference is one of point of view. I feel discouragement; you feel sorry for yourself (oh, not you, dear reader; I’m just giving an example).

I actually thought to write a non-lame (or perhaps semi-lame) post today. I was cooking something unexpected for supper and thought to write about that. Then I realized: far too much trouble for a Friday. I’ll save it for tomorrow or next week.

If boasting no other virtue, a lame post should be short. I’ll sign off now. Happy Friday, everybody.

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