RSS Feed

Tag Archives: angst

Writing Through the Angst on Tired Tuesday

So it’s Tired Tuesday again.  How did I get to be so old and useless anyways?  Oh, that sounded whiny and self-pitying, didn’t it?  I should erase it, but I am determined to make this post and have done with, so I made up my mind not to backspace out what I typed, no matter how pathetic.

Full disclosure:  I have been sitting here in front of a blank screen thinking that it may be time for me to stop being a daily blogger.  I have been doing this blog since May of 2011.  That’s a pretty good run, isn’t it?  I suppose it would have been a better run if there had been fewer posts about I Can’t Write a Blog Post Today.  Then again, if I had not been trying to make daily posts, there may have been fewer foolish posts. But what about the readers who enjoy my foolish posts?  Why should I deprive them? As regular readers know, I go through these angst-y things every so often, and I always end up hitting Publish and hoping for the best.  And trying again the next day.

If only I could get back into the habit of writing my blog posts during the day while on break at work!  One reason I did not do that today is that a co-worker brought me copy of Mohawk Valley Living magazine, and I was reading it.  I read all the articles and perused the ads, searching for future Mohawk Valley adventures.  You know, stuff I can write blog posts about.  So that is one plan for the improvement of this blog.

I have another plan to improve this blog:  I am going to work to improve my life, then blog about how I have brought these improvements about.  I am not certain how much I can improve myself at this late date (I am middle-aged, if I live to be over 100), but they say it never hurts to try.  If I fail miserably,  I can blog about that.  At least it should be good for a laugh.

In the meantime, this is my Tired Tuesday post.  At least I have found something different to say about not having anything decent to say.  And I gave a quick shout-out to Mohawk Valley Living.  I’ll try not to wuss out on Wednesday, but no promises.



The Blog DOES Go On!

“Oh shame! Oh degradation!”

My lovely husband Steven found this picture of me with my wrist actually on my forehead.   Remember, like I was talking about on Sunday?  Perhaps you missed that post.  If so, you did not miss much.  Then again, why should I put myself down?  Habit, I suppose.  Be that as it may (a favorite expression of mine), I thought this would be a good picture to lead with as I am having something of a wrist to forehead evening.

The day as a whole was not too bad.  Steven and I had a nice breakfast at Farm House Restaurant in Ilion, which I could write a nice little post about.  We also took an enjoyable walk, rendering a Pedestrian Post perfectly eligible.  Yet here I sit, laptop on lap, fingers on keyboard, wondering, should I continue to write this blog?

Hmm… that is not strictly accurate.   It was while I was doing dishes a little while ago that I experienced the existential angst of, “Must the blog go on?” Once I found that photo to share and actually began typing, I don’t mind being a silly blogger at all.  Only I can’t go on making these foolish posts about me making foolish posts.  It’s like a snake eating its tail, or some such cliche metaphor (yes, yes, I know, a metaphor does not use the word “like,” stop being so didactic!).

At least I can complete the shout-out I started in the second paragraph:  Farm House Restaurant is located at 9 Central Ave., Ilion, NY, phone number 315-894-3276.  It is a teeny place with country decor and very good food.  We had breakfast there.  It was yummy.

Regarding the walk we took earlier, the sky was gloomy and gray, which is my favorite kind of sky.  I admired some bare trees, especially one with a stark dead branch in the middle of several live ones ending in myriad twigs.  Some trees still had leaves of green, red, orange, yellow and brown.  A few porches still had pumpkins in varying stages of decay.

I’m going to declare this post OK for a Tired Tuesday.  We shall see if my existential angst returns tomorrow  (“existential angst” is such a dramatic expression, I have to laugh at myself for using it).  In the meantime, I will see if I can find an appropriate picture to close with.

I’m thinking he does not read my blog.

I guess Nosferatu does not really have anything to do with this post, but I always say, when in doubt, go for the monster!  Hmm… that may be the title of a future post.



Looking for a Little Cheer

When in doubt, take a couple of pictures and wing it.  That is my new blog motto.  I think it’ll work for Wrist to Forehead Sunday.

Actually, I feel it is not a true Wrist to Forehead Sunday, because that is a day I kind of make fun of myself for my angst.  I don’t feel like making fun of myself tonight.  Then again, perhaps that is the best time to do so.  I’m sure I don’t know these things.

At any rate, I am sitting in my living room watching Lethal Weapon, which I have never seen before.  Oh, I’ve seen the scene with Mel Gibson’s butt, but I guess that’s neither here nor there.  It is, of course, a Christmas movie.  We like Christmas movies. This one, however, is kind of a depressing movie.  So I’m kind of watching and typing, trying to get this blog post done, and I don’t really know what I feel like typing about (as Truman Capote once said, “That’s not writing, that’s typing”).

As I am feeling kind of down, but not that my angst is of the usual amusing Wrist to Forehead Sunday variety, I thought I would take a couple of pictures of cheerful things in my life.  I started with my dog, Spunky.



I confess to feeling a little envy that he is so comfy, all curled up and sleeping.  I tried to take a nap earlier, because I had a headache.  I had the damnedest time falling asleep and it didn’t even help the headache.  I suppose you’ll have that sometimes.  Most headaches go away eventually and in the meantime they must be endured (I say philosophically now; at the time I felt quite grumpy about it).





These are some lovely flowers that friends sent me, because of my recent medical thing.  It was quite unexpected and very much appreciated.

So there are two thing to be cheerful about:  a nice doggy and nice friends who send me pretty flowers.  What reason to I have to have a Wrist to Forehead Sunday?


Blame it on the Boilermaker

Yesterday I sat down to write a post about Why I Can’t Write a Post Today and then came up with a serviceable Running Commentary.  Today I don’t think that’s going to work out.  I don’t think my brain is in particularly serviceable shape today.  That is OK, though, because it is Wrist to Forehead Sunday.

In Utica, NY, it is also Boilermaker Sunday.  I ran in the Boilermaker 15K last year.  I vowed I would never run it again, but I don’t think anybody believed me.  Sure enough, what I feared would happen came to pass.  As I saw and heard all the hoopla surrounding the race as it approached, I felt sorry I was not part of it.  Today when Facebook friends posted pictures and statuses about it, I commented on them that I would run it next year.  Will I follow through?  Quite possibly I will.

Steven, Spunky and I have been having a pleasant lazy Sunday.  It has been raining on and off, but I managed a pretty good run this morning and we have taken a couple of short walks.  The main event of the day has been movies, although I fear we spent almost as much time discussing what we wanted to watch as we have spent watching them.  I also made quite a tasty dinner.

And yet it really is a Wrist to Forehead Sunday.  I’m glad I ran this morning, or else I fear I would be swooning on the sofa or reaching for my smelling salts (I actually don’t have any smelling salts, do you suppose regular salt would work?).  Is it really angst that I did not participate in the country’s premiere 15K?  Or is it sorrow that the only thing I can write is how I can’t write today?  Or is it a mere desire to be dramatic?  Hmm… I bet that’s it.  Hope to see you all on Middle-aged Musings Monday.


Unnecessary Angst

I have a problem with writing about my Mohawk Valley adventures. I can’t seem to write about them right after they happen. So say I don’t have any adventures during the week, so I write stupid posts, then I have a couple of good ones on Friday, then Friday evening I finally get in front of the computer… I go blank.

I say to my husband Steve, “I don’t know what to make my blog post about.” He says, “Write about tonight.” But I feel if I just write off the cuff, typing off the top of my head as it were, I’m going to leave out important stuff and not do justice to the adventures we had.

Well that’s fine, someone might say, just write about it tomorrow. Oh, now the pressure’s really on. I waited a day so I could make it good. What if it’s not good enough? Oh no!

I’ve probably talked about this angst before. Now I’m repeating myself. This gets worse and worse. I’m not only going to not write a good enough post about what we did tonight, I’m writing a stupid post about not being able to write a good post now!

Then again, it is Lame Post Friday. And some people are amused by my ridiculous posts. As always, I can only try again tomorrow.