Tag Archives: lame post

Welcome Back, Wuss-Out Wednesday

Posted on August 8, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I just remembered something: Wuss-Out Wednesday. Not a feature I use very often. Need to have one today.

Not a good writing day. See, I’m even writing in sentence fragments right now, which is not a vice in which I usually indulge (although I did keep from ending that sentence on a preposition) (which bothers some people).

I wrote a little bitty bit on my novel. Then my breaks at work were taken up with other important stuff, like talking to my husband on the telephone and working on the crossword puzzle with my co-worker. It is a bad idea to neglect the whole rest of your life just because you want to be a writer.

Now there’s a topic suitable for the half-baked philosophy portion of Lame Post Friday: work/life balance. How much life does a middle-aged woman such as myself really need? Mae West famously said it’s not the men in your life but the life in your men, but I don’t think that really applies here. Just thought I’d throw it in, although perhaps I should have saved it for Non-Sequitur Thursday.

However, it is neither Friday nor Thursday. And I may be working this weekend, so the days of the week may be rendered meaningless in any case. Be that as it may, I must think of something reasonably entertaining to say for today (I just noticed I used “may” three times in two sentences, but that may be OK).

The Powerball Lottery has reached some ungodly amount. I put in for a workplace pool. You know how often groups at work win the lottery. I don’t expect to win, but just in case, I didn’t want to be the one yahoo showing up for work on Monday because I was too cheap to pitch in the two bucks.

“No, that’ll be Darren and Mark,” said Jenny (not their real names).

“I’ll send them flowers if we win,” I said. Then I remembered that my husband had also purchased a Powerball ticket. I asked Jenny if she and the others would sue me if he won.

“No, but you’ll have to share it with us,” she said.

“I’ll buy you pizza,” I promised. I hope we win more than two dollars. It would be awkward to buy pizza for a whole section on two dollars.

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Maybe More Coffee Would Help

Posted on August 3, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

So there I was at work. I had written a page on my novel before my shift began. You may remember, that novel that keeps me from writing blog posts. I was determined not to let that happen today, Lame Post Friday or not.

I was going to think about my blog post all morning till I came up with something. It’s worked before. In any case, I had reached the end of a scene in my novel and had no idea where to go next. The novel is at that stage. I’m sort of limping along till I get to the top of the next hill, to speak metaphorically.

I began to work and think (my job is the sort where you can multi-task like that) (although in general I am no fan of multi-tasking). I was drinking coffee (no, that does NOT count as another task. Sheesh!). That was it! I would write about coffee!

I began to think about all the good things I could say about coffee. I even had a few good memories to share. Oh dear, would that make it more suitable for Middle-aged Musings Monday? Well, that would be OK. I could write it today and be ahead for Monday. I could hardly wait for the nine o’clock break to write that blog post.

The break buzzer rang. I sat down and took out my notebook. And began to write a whole new scene in my novel where the characters were sitting around drinking coffee. I worked on that scene for the rest of break and most of lunch!

So once again, the novel wins, and I write a post on Why I Can’t Write a Post. I don’t think that’s so bad for a Lame Post Friday. We’ll see what the weekend brings.

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Lame Lament

Posted on July 27, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

So here I am on another Lame Post Friday, feeling a little discouraged about this whole blogging business.

Oh, I can hear it now, the mean people saying, “So stop writing a blog! Nobody asked you to!” And then they say, with a sniff, “We’re not MEAN, we’re REALISTIC.” I explain, “Shut up” (an SJ Perelman reference I have used numerous occasions).

That parenthetical comment raises the half-baked philosophical question of where are the lines drawn between reference, homage and stealing somebody else’s stuff? I do hope the fact that I gave credit to Mr. Perelman absolves me from charges of plagiarism (which some people feel is the sincerest form of flattery).

My other philosophical question (half-baked, of course) is where is the line drawn between discouragement and feeling sorry for oneself? I believe the difference is one of point of view. I feel discouragement; you feel sorry for yourself (oh, not you, dear reader; I’m just giving an example).

I actually thought to write a non-lame (or perhaps semi-lame) post today. I was cooking something unexpected for supper and thought to write about that. Then I realized: far too much trouble for a Friday. I’ll save it for tomorrow or next week.

If boasting no other virtue, a lame post should be short. I’ll sign off now. Happy Friday, everybody.

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Keeping It Lame

Posted on July 20, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

There are times when one certainly appreciates Lame Post Friday (one is me in this case). However, one must also admit (still me) that even on Lame Post Friday, one must write something.

One might think I had thoroughly hashed out the subject of How Stupid of a Post Still Counts as a Post (one is not me in this case). One might be right. On the other hand, I’m betting most of my readers don’t read every single post (but God bless you if you do!). On a third hand (using my foot as a hand?), perhaps I can think of something new to say.

Well, I think I did. Using a foot as a hand is not a silly joke I have made before. Perhaps some did not find it a particularly funny joke, but at least it had the charm of originality.

Oh, here’s some half-baked philosophy: what can you say when originality masquerades as talent? Another question: just because something has never been done before is that sufficient reason to do it?

I’m thinking right now of some current and recent movies (like in the last few years). Some movie makers are known for “pushing the envelope” (I might research where that expression came from for another post. I mean, what envelope? Just saying). Torture porn falls under this category, as do ultra violent films. I’m not saying none of these films have artistic merit (I don’t watch many movies from this century). I’m asking, does their entire merit consist in the fact that they have done something that has never been done before? Discuss amongst yourselves.

Well, that was a totally wimp out discussion. You may have noticed I did not mention any specific movies or in fact make a strong stance on the issue. I just brought up the question.

In my defense, the heat wave in the Mohawk Valley continues, and neither my place of employment nor my residence boast air conditioning. And anyone who is rolling their eyes and forming the words, “You think you’ve got it bad” or “I don’t want to hear it,” just give it a rest. My brain has been baked, steamed, boiled and stewed for five days now. This is all I got.

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Where’s Bill Murray When You Need Him?

Posted on July 18, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

OK, so I started to write a post this morning about how hot it is. I knew I had set a precedent for such a subject about a year ago with a post titled “I’m Me-elting” (I know how to make a ping-back to that, but I’m not sure it’s really worth a click) (although I did kind of like the last paragraph).

From that last parenthetical comment you see that I looked up the post. I had, in fact, just about decided not to use what I had written this morning but instead to make it a kind of a cooking post, telling about what I threw together for supper just now. Then I thought, oh what the hell, I’ll look at “I’m Me-elting” first, just to see what I said.

Well, I hadn’t said much about the heat but immediately went into a kind of a cooking post.

What is this, Groundhog Day?

So I’m going back to Plan A and write about the heat, making this another Wuss-Out Wednesday.

This year’s heat wave started just as I was dealing with my flooding woes (I’ll say it again: not as bad as some people’s, but bad enough to upset me!). I said to a friend at work, “I remember last year when the worst thing I had to deal with was how hot it was. Boy, those were the days!”

I thought about that for a minute then said, “Oh dear, do you suppose something worse is going to happen next year, so I’ll say, ‘Last year all I had to deal with was heat and a flooded basement. Boy, those were the days!'”

I live in fear.

Just kidding. I admit to sometimes trying to peer around that figurative bend in the road, to see what stupid thing is going to happen next. But that gets into half-baked philosophy, more suitable for Lame Post Friday. And I just thought of a silly headline that really makes today kind of like Non-Sequitur Thursday.

Incidentally, I thawed some shrimp, made cocktail sauce and cooked broccoli in the microwave. And served some black olives which happened to be in the refrigerator, by way of garnish. I include this information in case anybody is saying, “Gee, I wish she would have done the cooking post.”

I bet nobody was.

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I Don’t Know What to Doo-Dah

Posted on July 13, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

It has been a bad week for writing. There, I’ve said it.

And now begins the chorus of “Oh, just write,” and “Never mind your MOOD,” and “Writer’s Block? There just ain’t no such animal!”

To answer those in reverse order: Who said I had Writer’s Block? NOBODY! Did I even mention mood? NO! What am I doing right now? WRITING!

But I have not been writing well, and I have not been enjoying writing (well, maybe that last paragraph was a little fun). This being Lame Post Friday, I thought it would be OK to kvetch a little.

And that is when I completely run dry, because who wants to listen to a middle-aged lady kvetch? Not me! How about my usual random observations and half-baked philosophy instead?

Ilion, NY will soon celebrate their Ilion Days festival, including the Doo-Dah parade. There is a sign up at my place of employment looking for people to march in it. I have been going around asking people if they intend to march, because I like saying “Doo-Dah Parade.” It’s fun. Try it.

Did you try it?

Under the heading Now What Stupid Thing’s Going To Happen? I’ve got a soft tire on my vehicle. This could lead to some half-baked philosophy alluded to earlier in the week: what did we do to deserve this? My philosophical advice to myself is: don’t look too closely at it, or I might find I’m actually getting a lot less than I deserve in the Stupid Things department. How does one keep score on these things? Another philosophical question.

Friday Lame Posts should be short, so I’ll end here. Anyone wanting more information on the Ilion Days and the Doo-Dah Parade (more fun to say than type, but what are you going to do?) can go to www.iliondoodah.com or call 894-2308.

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Tired on Tuesday

Posted on July 10, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I was afraid this would happen, and I don’t have a label to hide behind.

Wrist to Forehead Sunday, Middle-aged Musings Monday, Wuss-Out Wednesday, Non-Sequitur Thursday, Lame Post Friday. I was about to add Running Commentary Saturday, but since that one involves actually going for a run and writing about it, I don’t think it’s in the same category as my taking-it-easy days. In my defense, I don’t use all those categories every week. In my — accusation? guilt? where’s that thesaurus when you need it! — I’ve been using them a lot lately. In my defense again, I’m still recovering from a flood.

This could go back and forth for a while, but I think my point is clear. I do not have a blog post for today and I do not have an excuse not to have one.

For any astute reader who just said, “What about that murderer dumping bodies in the Seine you keep saying you’re going to write about?” I answer, “Good question.”

That post is partially written, but I want to write more and edit what I wrote so far and, you know, make it sound really good.

“So do that now,” the reader continues, beginning to sound less like an astute reader and more like that inner critic I keep mistaking for a legitimate blog reader.

Listen kids, Aunt Cindy is tired (oh yeah, like any nieces and nephews read my blog!). The temperature and humidity are enough to melt any wicked old witch (yes, admitting to belonging in that category), I worked all day, and then I came home and went to the laundromat and did LOTS of laundry.

Yes, my husband helped me with the laundry. What are you getting at?

In fact, as I waited for the washers and then the driers, I worked on another blog post about a movie, this one in the psycho-biddy genre. Just to give a preview of coming attractions.

Even as I was writing, I said to Steven, “Oh, I am just going to go home and write something off the cuff. It’s all I can handle today.”

So here it is. I’m afraid not as clever as I had hoped, but it will have to do.

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Lame at the Laundromat

Posted on July 6, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

My real Mohawk Valley adventure on July 4 involved going to the Laundromat. I wrote the following while there, largely because I had neglected to bring a book to read. This being Lame Post Friday, I make bold to use it.

I have not been to the laundromat in years. Steven and I used to make quite an event out of it. We’d wait till we were wearing our bathing suits instead of underwear, load everything into the car (one more reason we drove a station wagon) and head out, usually on a weeknight. This was a good time to go in the North Country, where we used to live.

The most we ever filled was, I think, ten washers. It gives me a little giggle even now, thinking about it. Being me and Steve, we made silly jokes the whole time. I even started to write a song about it: The Dirty Clothes Blues.

With all this in mind, losing our washer and drier in the flood (um, they didn’t float away, they just got flooded) was the least of our worries.

“We’ll just go to the laundromat till we’re more beforehand with the world,” I declared.

“We used to have fun doing that,” Steven remembered.

So I had envisioned a fun if silly couple’s activity. However, what with mud and sweat, our clean clothes ran out faster than anticipated (and I don’t have a bathing suit any more). I put on my last pair of clean shorts and a sports bra and said, “I need to do laundry.”

Steven felt bad about not accompanying (he was working a double shift), but I made light of it.

“It’s the Fourth of July,” I said. “How many people are going to be doing laundry?”

Famous last words.

Steven helped me bring the baskets put to my vehicle. I had decided on a modest three loads. That is, all the dirty clothes that were NOT in the basement. Those are out on the back deck, awaiting a HOT washing or else a decent burial, as we will decide. The only sad thing was that our schnoodle, Tabby, saw us loading stuff into the car and immediately concluded that we were all going on a fun road trip. Imagine her disappointment. And mine.

A quick stop to pick up detergent (another casualty) and I was off to Ilion, NY, to the new laundromat there. At least, I can’t remember how new, but recent at least. I drive by it on my way to work and know it has a large number of machines.

The first thing I noticed was the number of cars in the parking lot. Well, that falls squarely under the heading Should Have Known. Weren’t basements flooded all over the Mohawk Valley? Didn’t many of those basements contain washers and driers? I found a parking space and hoped for the best.

And everything was fine. Like I said, large number of machines. I had a moment of sticker shock when I saw the washer said $5.50 as the price. I felt better when I realized that sucker could hold two of my baskets. Then I saw smaller washers that were only $2.50. Perfect for my small load of whites.

This was cool.

The truly lame moment happened after I was done writing and doing laundry. I got all the way home (a modest distance, but still) and realized I had forgotten my detergent at the laundromat. You know how people handle big problems with aplomb but fall apart at the dumbest things? All week people have been telling me I was reacting very well to this being flooded thing. I have tried to keep my spirits up and not lose my sense of humor.

Well, doing something as stupid as forgetting my brand new detergent at the laundromat made me dang near burst into tears. I made the drive back to Ilion, cursing my (lack of) brain and telling myself it was no big deal. Either the detergent would be there or somebody else would be happy to not have to buy some. Perhaps even another flood victim.

My not so random observation on this Lame Post Friday is that half-baked philosophy will only get you so far. I recovered my detergent. I still felt really, really dumb.

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Flooded with Remorse

Posted on July 2, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Welcome back to All Flooding All The Time. I realize some people might not be entertained by a blow-by-blow description of my tribulations. It helps me to write it.

“In that case,” the naysayers sniffs, “you should write it in your journal, that is your PRIVATE JOURNAL. Or get therapy.”

At this point in my soul searching, I realized the naysayer is actually my inner critic, for whom nothing is ever good enough. And then I remembered it is Middle-aged Musings Monday, and the above couple of paragraphs could count for that.

In my notebook (paper spiral-bound, not the computer kind), as I wrote this morning (sitting on my couch sipping coffee) (off work this week), I went on to write another page continuing my flooded basement adventures of Saturday. Then I realized I could not sit there and continue to write while my basement was NOT knee-deep in water. I had to start hauling out ruined crap while the hauling was good.

I got to work. Soon my parents and one sister showed up to help. We worked SO HARD! I CAN’T WAIT to get back to the factory next week! It will be such a relief!

And now I am just too tired to type in the page I had written, plus compose the rest of the story (I did mention in a previous post that Saturday was a long day). And I really, really do have to get back on clean-up duty. The mud from the basement has begun to take over the ground floor as well.

So this is my post for today. A short musing about whether I really ought to be writing All About My Flooded Life, a brief mention of what I did about it today (thus messing up the sequence of my blog-by-blow), and I’m afraid I’m done.

Now if only I could think of a title for this. Ooh, just thought of one. And I make it appropriate by adding: Of course I feel just terrible about writing such a lame post on a Monday.

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The Flooded Basement Blues

Posted on June 29, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Well, I WAS writing a post all about a cheesy movie I saw, but I’ve been a little distracted.

It has been raining in a ridiculous fashion in the Mohawk Valley. Today, we flooded.

It was one thing when my street looked like a river. A little scary, but I could just stay in the house. It was a little more worrisome when the basement flooded. Well, I’ve been meaning to throw away a lot of that junk anyways. Now I’ll jolly well have to.

But it was a completely different animal when I started to hear a buzzing noise down in the basement.

“What’s that noise?” In a loud voice. “What do I do?” Even more agitated.

I did not, nor even consider for a moment, sloshing through the water for a closer listen. For one thing, the water is over knee deep. I can swim, but still. I have since been told that I was absolutely correct for such restraint.

As usual for a woman with my age, experience and sophistication, I called Mom and Dad. I suppose I am both a Mama’s and a Daddy’s Girl, but it cannot be denied that my parents know many things. I don’t think their basement ever flooded, but they probably know somebody who’s had it happen to them. My sister, for example (oh, wait a minute, I know her, too).

Mom said call Niagara Mohawk, they would send somebody.

“Steven! Get me the number to Niagara Mohawk!”

Of course we meant National Grid. For you younger readers (if any), National Grid used to be called Niagara Mohawk, in my opinion a far superior name. I mean, you can say NiMo, but are you likely to say NaGri? I, for one, am not.

So I called. They are sending someone. I later found out that we are also number 251 on the list for the Herkimer Fire Department (Steven called when I wasn’t looking).

So now I am waiting on my front porch for the NationalNiMo person. To relieve my feelings a little, I write a blog post about it. I don’t mean to treat my readers as unpaid therapists, but I must confess, I do feel a little better.

So that is my Friday Lame Post for the week. I hope you have enjoyed.

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