Category Archives: Lame Post Friday

Waiting for 19 Crimes

Posted on January 23, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

I thought I would take today’s Friday Lame Post to give an update on my 30 Days Without Wine.  Or you may call it 30 Days of Whine, although I must confess to doing more than my fair share of kvetching even with the wine.  Be that as it may, this is Day 27.  Yes, I’ve been counting.  How else would I know when I got to 30?

Earlier today the little devil on my shoulder (you know, like in the cartoons, when the character has a little version of himself in horns on one shoulder and one with a halo on the other?) kept saying, “27 is practically 30.  Aren’t you being a little anal retentive about this?” She went on to say, “Anyways, isn’t this no alcohol thing a bit self-aggrandizing?  Just another way of calling attention to yourself? Shouldn’t you just get over yourself and have a beer?”  I didn’t even know she knew the word “self-aggrandizing.”

The Devil Me would probably also call me out on thinking something magical might happen if I go all 30 days.  How illogical and immature, she would say.  Of course I stopped listening to that bitch when I remembered she is also the one who thinks I’m such a terrible writer.

The Angel on my other shoulder did not contribute a whole lot to the discussion.  She merely pointed out that while PROBABLY nothing magical would happen on Day 30, how would I know if I didn’t wait that long?  Anyways, there isn’t a bottle of dry red in the house, and that is what I chiefly feel like drinking.  For Day 31 I have promised myself a bottle of 19 Crimes, one of my favorites.  I think that’s worth waiting three more days for.

Right now I am reinforcing my dry behavior by watching World’s Dumbest Partiers (why is my computer underlining “partiers”?  That must be a word! What else would you call these people?).  I don’t imagine the one little glass of 19 Crimes I intend to have on Tuesday will cause me to act like one of those guys.  However, if it does, I promise to write a blog post about it.

 

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, Lame Post Friday, personal and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Lame But Not Lush

Posted on January 9, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Well, here it is Friday at the sweats on, bra off portion of the evening.  Regular readers are saying, “Didn’t she leave something out?  For example, wine drinking?”  About that…

Christmas Day I had a rather dreadful headache.  I did not think I really tied one on, but I had been indulging in the white wine Christmas Eve.  My mother suggested I go a month without drinking, to see if it had any effects on the headaches.  Naturally I do everything my mother tells me (she would probably offer a different opinion about that, but I believe she would be referring to some time in the previous century so we need not regard it).

Full disclosure:  I had a glass of wine Christmas Day and maybe a glass or two the day after. But beginning December 27 until the present day (January 8, 2016), I have been dry. No, I don’t want a medal, I’m just SAYING!

We all know I love my wine (at least anybody who has been paying the least bit of attention) (not that I flatter myself that everybody pays attention to me).  It is definitely an enjoyable part of my weekend, and sometimes a welcome treat on a week night.  But I don’t think of myself as a lush or somebody with a problem.

Then again.

The fact that I’m talking about it AT ALL makes me paranoid.  If it’s not a problem, then it shouldn’t be a problem, now, should it?  It shouldn’t even make a blog post.  Oh dear.   And in fact, it is not a problem.  I mean, I’m not sitting here WISHING I had a glass of Pinot.  I did not have to grip the steering wheel as I drove home from work to keep from pulling in at the liquor store.  I haven’t even been thinking about, for example, the cool, dry tang of an unoaked  Chardonnay…  Just kidding.  I had to sit here and compose that Chardonnay line.

But if I’m not thinking about it, that insidious inner critic asks, then why am I writing about it?

Ah, I find the answer to that quite simply:  it’s what I call the Doughnut Effect.  As soon as you decide you can’t have something, what is the first thing you want?  That’s right!  And then what you do is try not to think about it.  OK, right now, try not to think about doughnuts,because you can’t have any.

I bet some people stopped reading this blog and are halfway to Krispy Kreme as we speak.  As for me, I have successfully taken my mind off the long-stemmed glass of fermented grape.

But I may be making a trip to the in-store bakery section of Hannaford.  Happy Friday, everyone.

 

4 Comments

Posted in humor, Lame Post Friday, personal and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

And to All a Good Night!

Posted on December 26, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Christmas is not a big blog-reading holiday.  I guess that raises the question of what is (please note: it does NOT “beg” the question, it RAISES  the question), but as I like to say (there are a lot of things I like to say), that is neither here nor there.

Yesterday I felt so virtuous getting my blog post done and published first thing in the morning.  I don’t think anybody thought that little bit of industry was going to last, and of course it did not.  In my defense… oh, I really do not want to get into what could be said in my defense; just forgive me or don’t.

I’ve been having a lovely holiday.  Christmas Eve, as I mentioned yesterday, was unseasonably warm.  In the afternoon, my parents and I took a long walk on the Mohawk River Trail, a recent addition to Rome’s many amenities.  We encountered runners, bikers, other walkers, a couple of dogs and several kayakers.  We greeted everybody with a cheery “Merry Christmas.”

Later that evening, my mom, sister, assorted nieces and two nephews (one great) took a  short walk around the neighborhood looking at people’s Christmas lights.  We also admired the full moon.  At least, most calendars said it was actually full tonight (Christmas Day), but it looked pretty full last night too.

As I was about to make a half-hearted apology for this post not being such a much, I remembered something:  it is Lame Post Friday (I know, YOU already knew that; you didn’t have to tell me) (and I don’t have to tell you who you are).  I think I’ll skip the apology and just wish a Merry Christmas to all, and if you do not celebrate Christmas (ooh, here’s a Freudian slip: I started to type “suffer” instead of “celebrate”; discuss the implications amongst yourselves and get back to me, if you’ve a mind to), I wish you a happy day.

 

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, Lame Post Friday, personal and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Lame Words, Different Friday

Posted on December 19, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I can’t do everything right.  I’m just not built that way.  And really, would I be as charming and lovable if I always took the sensible choice?  This is where the inner critic chimes in with remarks about who ever said I was charming and lovable, and never mind EVERYTHING but could I possibly do ONE thing right ONCE in a while?

You see why I do not like to listen to my inner critic. She is not very nice in addition to being quite sarcastic and not in a good way.

That is what I wrote earlier today, and I was feeling pretty damn happy about it. It was fun to write, and it was easy.  The words were flowing. It was great.  Now, I confess, I look at it an realize it is the same schtick I have written before and it is not that many words anyways.  Then again, what do I expect on Lame Post Friday?

What I did wrong this time, in case anybody was wondering, was to stay up too late drinking white wine at Ilion Little Theatre’s monthly dinner meeting.  The December meeting is always more of a party than a meeting, which is one reason I try not to miss it.  I had a marvelous time and am full of theatre plans for the coming year.

However, before the New Year, I must get through Christmas.  That is what this weekend is all about.  I am a little later than I prefer in making this post, because I was out Christmas shopping earlier.  And I spent a little time on the phone with my sister, making Christmas plans (and by “making Christmas plans” I mean asking her what she’s going to fix for Christmas dinner) (No, I’m not cooking for Christmas — hey, she volunteered!).

So another thing I do wrong is to make yet another foolish post where I just don’t say a hell of a lot.  But I hope you’re all having a marvelous Friday.

 

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, Lame Post Friday, personal and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Is Lame Post Friday Really a Thing?

Posted on December 12, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Points to ponder:

Why is it a “spork” and not a “foon”?

Why is it “workaholic” and not “workic”?  After all, an alcoholic is addicted to alcohol.  Nobody is addicted to workahol. Workahol is not even a thing and if it is a thing, it is only because some smart ass made it up to prove didactic types like me wrong.

Hmmm…. the only other points I have are serious ones and I am just not up to making any serious points today.  Still,when one does a post like this, one likes to give three examples (one being me).

Oh, here’s one:  Why do people say, “It goes without saying” and then go right ahead and say it?  Sometimes when there is a lull in the conversation I say, “It goes without saying” and let it hang.

I wonder if this is 200 words.  I’m writing it in a spiral notebook while on break at work and I am disinclined to count the words myself.  Hmm… not up to making serious points, disinclined to count words, hoping I’m done with the post already… It must be Lame Post Friday!

But you already knew that.

Anyways, I am now sitting at my acer typing, and it is not quite 200 words.  Additionally, I am a little afraid I have made some of these ponderable points before.  And apparently “ponderable” is not even a word.  Let us ponder that linguistic tidbit for a while.

Happy Friday, everyone.

 

7 Comments

Posted in humor, Lame Post Friday, personal and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Lame Laugh on December 4

Posted on December 5, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

It is the bra off, sweats on, wine drinking,  blog post writing portion of the evening.

And it is Lame Post Friday.

As regular readers may have noticed, I do not always write my blog posts in sweats and no bra (ooh, I just flashed on that Most Interesting Man in the World,  “I don’t always drink beer…”).  Many times I write my posts while on a break at work.  Many times I do not specify how I am dressed when I post.  However, today I do not have a whole lot to post about, so I led with the setting.

Earlier tonight, Steven and I were at a notorious big box store which needs no plug from Mohawk Valley Girl.  I only mention it because it took MUCH longer than reasonably expected.  And I did not expect it to be short and sweet.  However, it was not too heinous, for which I have my Christmas Spirit and sense of humor to thank.  Or perhaps it was the tiny glass of wine I had before shopping (say it ain’t so!).

I am getting a little bit of Christmas Spirit. I have been listening to Christmas music on CD as I drive to and from work (I know, how 20th century of me).  I have been noticing and appreciating Christmas lights on people’s houses.  I have been planning Christmas presents (Naughty status of friends and family notwithstanding).

My sense of humor really kicked in, however, as the check-out line took longer than walking over the whole store for the stuff on our list.  Every cash register was frozen and the lines stretched further than the eye could see.  At long last we were leaving.

“And it’s only December 4th!”  I said.  I laughed all the way to the car.

 

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, Lame Post Friday, personal and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Late, Lame Lush

Posted on November 21, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Um, I don’t know that I am really all that much of a lush.  But I love alliteration, and since alcohol was involved in today’s post, I thought I would stretch a point.

Thank goodness it is Lame Post Friday, although this will be the third foolish post in a row.  However, I have a policy of not apologizing for these things, at least on Fridays.  Policies subject to change without notice, but that’s neither here nor there.

I am late doing my post today, because I had to meet a friend at a couple of wine tastings at local liquor stores.  Wine tastings at liquor stores are a wonderful thing, because you can try wines you would not necessarily purchase untasted and perhaps discover something you like.  Sometimes you can increase your knowledge of wine and gain oenophile cred (although it helps if you know how to pronounce “oenophile,” which I do not) (I’m not even sure that is how you spell it, although my computer seems to think it is correct).

More importantly, you can often chat up nice people, or meet up with friends and have a fun interlude.  Today I met a friend at Vintage Spirits in Herkimer and then we went to Ilion Wine and Spirits in Ilion.  Full disclosure:  if she had been unable to make it, I probably would have gone to the tastings by myself.  But it would not have been nearly as fun.

I hope to do full posts about each tasting, sharing what I tasted and what I learned.  However, today is Friday.  I got home late and have to get up early.  I have some relaxing to do.  Also, I have to finish cooking dinner (ooh, maybe I can get a cooking post out of today as well).

In short, I hope you are having a happy Friday.  I am.

 

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, Lame Post Friday, personal and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Lame to You and More of It!

Posted on November 14, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

For today’s Lame Friday Post, I bring you another edition of Common Expressions Revisited.  Warning!  This post may become somewhat vulgar.  If you don’t think you’ll like that, don’t read. And regular readers KNOW how I feel about the expression TMI (hate it, Hate it, HATE IT!!!).

Kiss my ass.  No, no, I’m not telling you to do that.  That’s the first expression I want to talk about it.  Think about all the people you have told, directly or remotely to kiss your ass (by remotely, I mean, “He/she/they can kiss my ass!)”   Now consider the wear and tear on your buns if everyone, or even a portion of that number availed themselves of that generous invitation.  Yikes!

Bite me.  This is sometimes said as “Bite my butt,” which I kind of prefer, as it has the charm of alliteration.  Obviously, this could be even more painful than kissing.   In the “Bite me” version, I worry that one does not specify the body part.  I feel it leaves one vulnerable.

To my last statement, some of you are no doubt saying, “Well, it goes without saying,”  and that is another common expression I take exception to.  Very few things actually go without saying.  Oh yes, there are a few things we can and do take for granted, like, for example, gravity.  But my observation is that people still say them.  In other words, “It goes without saying” is usually not the end of the sentence.  Usually it’s, “It goes without saying THAT…”  Ah yes, there is the variation that it is said in answer,  “That goes without saying.”  Well, it didn’t go without saying if I just said it, now, did it?  I’m just saying.

OK, I guess the first two examples could be considered vulgar, but I feel there an be no possible exception to the third.  On my next grammatical excursion, I may discuss the expressions “I think,” “I believe,” and “I feel.”  I hope you are all having a delightful Friday.

 

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, Lame Post Friday, personal and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

But I’m Not the Star!

Posted on November 7, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I was going to call today’s post “A Big Night at the Little Theatre,”  after a work friend said it to me.  Then I thought it has probably been used many, many times.  They do say plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery, oh wait, I say that.  I’m not given to flattery.  And I don’t need anybody to flatter me, either! (Oh yeah, like anybody is inclined to).

Where was I?  Ah yes, opening night of Lunch Hour, the first production of Ilion Little Theatre’s 2015-16 season.  As you may recall, I am stage manager.   I composed a blog post in my battered spiral notebook while on lunch at work, hoping to lighten my load in the evening. Um, that’s right now, as I am typing it in and making a LOT of changes, including the headline.

While I worked, I made myself flustered planning what I HAVE to get done, thinking wistfully about the things I would LIKE to get done, and wondering what on earth I was going to wear.  At least the last consideration has been taken care of.

Now, just stop shaking your head and giving me THAT look (I hate it when people give me that look!).  It is not as vain and frivolous as it may appear (that is not to say that I am not vain and frivolous, but that is not the topic of this blog post).  I really have very few wearable outfits at present.  I seem to have a lot of clothes, but most of them fall into categories like Don’t Fit Anymore, Not Appropriate, Not Comfortable, What The Hell Was I Thinking When I Bought That, and Dirty.  Some items fit more than one category, as you may imagine.

But never mind about me.  The play is going very well.  We had an excellent dress rehearsal last night, marred only by a bat episode, which I will perhaps describe at further length on Scattered Saturday.

Today’s post must be short.  I have a lot more dithering to do.

Local readers may like to come see the play at Ilion Little Theatre, Remington Avenue, Ilion, NY.   Performances are November 6, 7, 13 and 14 at 8 p.m., 8 and 15 at 2 p.m.  For more information you can visit www.ilionlittletheatre.org, and/or Like their Facebook page.

 

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, Lame Post Friday, personal and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Whiny Babies Need Love, Too

Posted on October 31, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I never feel quite right having a Lame Post Friday when I have to work on Saturday.  As a co-worker sensibly pointed out to me, it is still Friday; they can’t take that away from us.  But I think most Monday through Friday workers can understand how I feel.  People with different schedules are perhaps rolling their eyes and thinking I am a whiny baby.  Well, what if I am?  Whiny babies need love too, you know!

But I must not spend my entire post whining.  How tiresome, even for me.  Anyways, tomorrow is Halloween.  I LOVE Halloween!!!  Steven and I will stand on our front porch to greet the trick or treaters.  After that we shall watch scary movies.  Maybe even something I can write a blog post about (I love writing blog posts about cheesy horror movies).  Work-schmurk!  Tomorrow is going to be a fun day!

Tonight is also not without reward.  I am currently watching my beloved Snapped.  Snapped, for the uninitiated, is a documentary-style show about female murderers.  I do love a true crime documentary. Snapped is not one of your classier shows, like 20/20 or Dateline, but it’s not a re-enactment-fest like Deadly Women or Lethal Kin, although those re-enactment-fests can be kind of fun too.

So I guess this is my lame blog post for the day.  I whine, I anticipate, I watch television.  This is Friday night at my house.  Hope you’ll tune in again on Saturday.

 

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, Lame Post Friday, personal and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.
← Older Posts
Newer Posts →