Category Archives: Monstrous Monday

Just Enough Brain for Monstrous Monday

Posted on March 5, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

You would not think I would need to resort to a Monstrous Monday on the fourth day of a four day weekend.  Then again, I’m going back to work after a four day break: how can I NOT feel monstrous?  And feel monstrous, I do.  I have suddenly been hit by a huge wave of I Can’t Do This.  Regular readers may recall that I have a bit on my plate these days.  However, I am well aware that other people have more, often with fewer resources than those which I enjoy.  What the hell am I complaining about?

I kind of feel like I’m being strangled.  I wonder if it would help to scream.

I thought it was time to throw in a monster.  This is the titular monster from The Tingler (1959), a William Castle masterpiece starring the wonderful Vincent Price. Here’s a Freudian typo:  when I went to Google the movie to find the year, I put “Thingler.”  That would be a combination of the Thing and the Tingler.  If it was a Christmas movie, it could be the Jingler.  If it could fly, it would be the Wingler.  If unmarried, the Singler.  I could go on.

The answer to feeling overwhelmed, other than remembering to breathe, which a good idea under any circumstances, is to do one thing.  Then you often find you can do another.  Soon you are on your way to Getting Stuff Done.  The One Thing I am working on now is my blog post, in case you haven’t guessed.  I think it’s time for another monster.

Why is she screaming? She can take him!  He has no muscles!

Here is a scene from House on Haunted Hill (1959), another Castle/Price delight.

I need a brain this big.

I looked for another monster picture, because I could not think of anything else to say.  This is The Brain from Plant Arous (1957).  I wish I had my usual brain, but since that seems not to be functioning, I would take one from any planet.  Hmm… my plan of Doing One Thing does not seem to be working.  I will hit Publish on this (if I can possibly think of a title), but I am not feeling inclined to move on to something else.  Oh dear.  Well, tune in tomorrow to see if I did.

 

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Wind and Witches on Monstrous Monday

Posted on February 26, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I am sitting here listening to the wind outside howl and thinking how long it has been since I’ve watched The Wizard of Oz.  When it gets as windy as it is today, I always make the same joke. I think it is a pretty good one, but I daresay I flatter myself.

“When it’s like this, I worry somebody’s going to come along and drop a house on me.  It happened to a sister of mine.  Then the bitch stole her red shoes.  I wanted those shoes.”

Really, I think it would have been kinder to have offered the Wicked Witch of the West some grief counseling rather than stealing what was apparently some kind of family heirloom.  But I digress.

“Now what will I wear with my glittery red ball gown?”

I think a witch counts as a monster for Monstrous Monday, which of course is today.  For good measure, here is something more creature-ish.

“Those red shoes would look pretty spiffy with this outfit, too!”

According to a Facebook meme, sometime you have to put on the pointy hat and call out the flying monkeys, just to remind people of who they’re dealing with.  It would be a more effective threat if the Witch had not ended the movie in a steaming black puddle.

I’m afraid this has not been a very good post.  However, that makes my final picture appropriate.  I thought I would end on an inspirational note:

 

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Helping Hands to Cute Vampires, It’s Monstrous Monday

Posted on February 19, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I tried to write a blog post before work this morning.  I got a few paragraphs done, but I can’t finish it at the keyboard.  Maybe tomorrow.  Full disclosure:  I did not work any more on it during breaks and lunch, because the lure of crossword puzzles was too strong.  So let’s have our usual Monstrous Monday before the next episode of Dateline starts (regular readers may recall that on Mondays I watch Dateline on OWN).

Maybe if I drank more tea, I could be a better blogger.

I love this picture, because we all get by with a little help from our friends.  Even a monster sometimes needs a hand.

It looks perfectly harmless now…

I’ve been thinking about this movie a lot lately. It is Roger Corman’s Little Shop of Horrors (1960). I love that movie.  I have no use for the musical, but to each his own, as the old lady said when she kissed the cow.

I’m not scared of my own shadow. This one, however, is a different story.

This, of course, is from my all time favorite, Nosferatu (1929).  They knew how to use shadows in those old movies.

“Look, Mom! No cavities!”

Just to end on a note of cuteness, here is one of my own little vampires, in a decorative pot given to me by my good friend, Marsha.  I have no problem with cute monsters.  I like all kinds!

 

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More Monsters During Dateline

Posted on February 12, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

A quick search tells me I already used the title “Monstrous Monday During Dateline,” so I went with something equally alliterative.  I have a couple new monster pictures.

I’d give him the side-eye, too.

Technically, this is not a monster, except by the rule that people can be the worst monsters, but it is from a monster movie, The Bride of Frankenstein (1935).  The delightful Una O’Connor looks askance at Ernest Thesiger as Dr. Pretorius, who is about to become a very bad influence on Henry Frankenstein.

I’ve had worse first dates.

Full disclosure:  This is not the other new picture I had planned to use.  My stupid laptop cut out on me as I was typing the previous paragraph and when I got it back up, the picture was gone.  I’m sure it is still around here somewhere, but I cannot be bothered to look for it on a Monday.  For one thing, I have Dateline to watch (see title).

I admit once again, I am not good for much of anything on a Monday.  I’m not so hot other days of the week either, but I can’t worry about those days now.  I think the best I can manage right now is to throw in a couple more pictures, hit Publish, and hope for the best.  I hope you are all having a delightful Monday.

He looks the way I feel right about now.

I thought a nice close-up of Frankenstein’s monster would be appropriate.

“Oops! Wrong blog post!”

And I close with Nosferatu, just because.

 

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An Abominable Monday

Posted on January 22, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I don’t want to make a blog post now!  It’s Dateline day on OWN!  Oh well, nobody is forcing me to be a daily blogger; it is my own dumb idea.  So I will try for a Monstrous Monday.

I would like to be this relaxed about now.

I was looking for a picture of the Abominable Snowman but could not find one, so I insert one of my slippers.  I have completely worn out those slippers.  Steven got me new ones for Christmas, but not monstrous ones, so a picture of them will have to wait.

Getting back to the post at hand, it has been kind of a monstrous day.  Yes, that is usual for a Monday, but I was treated to a different kind of monstrousness today (my computer seems to think that “monstrousness” is not a word, but it is exactly what I mean to say).   It was beyond cold, below zero plus wind chill.  My husband Steven nicely went out to brush off my car  while I was still getting ready for work.  I joined him already in progress and moved a couple shovels-full of snow from the end of the driveway.  My hands quickly got icy and I decided to take my chances.  About this time, Steven said he was going back in the house while his hands could still function to turn the doorknob.  The car was pretty much clear by then anyways.  It only needed a couple of swipes across the windshield with the scraper.

I felt triumph when my little car got out of the driveway without too much problem.  It is the smallest car I have driven in years.  But this is supposed to be a Monstrous Monday, not an account of my day.

I found him! I found him!

After taking a break to eat some supper, I took another look for pictures of Bumbles, and I found one!

I see I am over 300 words.  Regular readers know I consider that respectable.  When I make these nonsensical posts, I feel it is best to keep them short.  Well, maybe one more monster picture.  Happy Monday, everyone.

You just know I was going to pick Nosferatu, didn’t you?

 

 

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That’s Not Writing on Monstrous Monday

Posted on January 8, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

Now I remember why I so often have Monstrous Monday.  I am TIRED on Mondays!  And I want to make my blog post quickly and watch Dateline on OWN.

Nobody does. What am I complaining about?

All day at work today I thought about writing.  At least, throughout the day, off and on, I thought about writing.  I thought about writing my blog post.  I thought about writing the next murder mystery.  I thought about writing my next article for Mohawk Valley Living magazine.  I thought about writing a novel.  That last was more of a vague thought; for the others I actually formed words in my head I intended to put on paper.  However, as the writing books so helpfully point out, thinking about writing is not writing.

When it came time for break, the only thing I could manage was a few jottings in the food journal I am keeping this month.  I am writing down everything I eat, any exercise I get, and when I get a headache or feel light-headed.  I hope to do it for a month and look for patterns.  Being me, it is more likely that I will (a) forget to write things (b) lose the journal (c) get tired of the whole thing (d) start adding all kinds of commentary, thus obscuring the information and losing the purpose (e) any or all of the above.  But that is strictly by the way.  The point is: I am not writing enough.  Bad writer!  Get to work!

But… DATELINE!!!

Will I tear myself away from the television?  Will I continue to watch Dateline (full disclosure:  I have been giving it half an eye while I type this post) (as Truman Capote once said, this isn’t writing, it’s typing)?  Will I attempt to write WHILE watching Dateline?  A little uncertainty adds spice to my evening.  In the meantime, I think I need one more picture of a monster if this is to count as a Monstrous Monday.

 

“Are you going to write, or do I have to get tough?”

 

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Not a Famous Monstrous Monday

Posted on December 25, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

His expression is not as festive as his attire.

Well, why not have a Monstrous Monday on Christmas Eve?  For one reason, I don’t have much else.  I went running this morning, intending to do a Running Commentary.  Steven and I had breakfast at Heidelberg Cafe in Herkimer, NY prior to picking up rolls for tomorrow’s Christmas feast, so I could have done a shout-out to a local business.  Well, sometimes these things do not work out.  Right now I want to get back to celebrating Christmas Eve with my loved ones, so I will attempt to come up with something mildly entertaining at least.

What could be more Monstrous Christmas Eve than Boris Karloff reading “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”?

Here is another Frankenstein/Christmas mash-up: the most famous portrayer of the former reading a classic tale about the latter.  But adding the macabre to Christmas is by no means original to me.  There is even a line in a Christmas song, “There’ll be scary ghost stories…”

Who doesn’t love a ghost at Christmas?

We watched two different versions of A Christmas Carol yesterday and might have watched  a third if I hadn’t pooped out (I only mentioned one in my blog post; do you suppose I should go back and edit?).  It is perhaps the most famous Christmas ghost story.

And now I see that I am over 200 words.  Regular readers know I call that respectable, especially for my more foolish posts.  Happy Christmas Eve and Monstrous Monday, everyone!

 

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A Brainless Blog Post on Monstrous Monday

Posted on December 4, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh crap, it’s type it in, backspace it out syndrome!  Must… keep… words… on… screen… (you know, like a beleaguered superhero in a comic book) (which I have not read in years; do they still do that?  Crap!  Dating myself!)

OK, so in one paragraph I have established that I am not having a good writing day, and I am feeling old and out of touch.  Is this a good time for a Monstrous Monday or what?

Is it a fight to the death? Or just a pissy hair-pulling match?

We recently watched The Ape Man (1943) but I don’t remember much about it.  It is on our DVD collection of 50 Horror Classics, so I can always watch it again.  Boris Karloff is in it too.

It looks a little cramped, but perhaps he is comfortable.

I don’t remember what mummy movie this shot is from, but he appears to be sleeping peacefully.  I will be sleeping peacefully soon, I hope.  I am TIRED, which could explain the semi-coherent state of today’s post.

He looks like he can’t believe his eyes. I can’t believe his eyes either.

I was going to use the picture of the head from The Brain That Wouldn’t Die  (1962) giving the side eye to her boyfriend, but I wanted a real monster, so I found this fellow from the movie.  Sometime I may write a blog post about just which is the most monstrous: the monster, the head, or the boyfriend.

I should have a brain this big.

I close with the picture I always find appropriate at times like this: The Brain from Planet Arous (1957).  Right now my movie is The Lack of Brain on Planet Cindy.  No matter.  It is Monday, and I have posted.

 

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Vampires for Christmas on Monstrous Monday

Posted on November 27, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

He looks kind of like I feel.

Hello, it’s Monstrous Monday.  I am dreadfully tired.  Did I work too hard today?  Did I play too hard all weekend?  Does it really matter?  I say no, it does not. What matter is that I make some semblance of a blog post before I sleep.

He does not look as if he is bidding us velcome.

Well, that didn’t work.  I was just looking for a Christmasy picture in our downloads, since Thanksgiving is over and so Christmas can begin.  Instead, I saw this lovely shot of Bela Lugosi that I don’t think I have used before.  Well, who doesn’t love a vampire for Christmas?

“Did somebody say vampire for Christmas?”

This vampire is hanging in my living room.  My nice husband Steven gave him to me for Christmas several years ago.  Please note the green stocking hanging around his neck.  You can also just about see the green jingle bell in his right hand.  We often mix holidays in our house.

Oh dear, as I was looking through my Media Library, I saw that I did have that picture of Lugosi.  Well, I can’t remember every picture of Bela Lugosi in my collection.  It is unreasonable to expect it.

I don’t really look anything like this, but the words fit.

I close with the picture that reminds us:  I’m not perfect, and I can’t even pretend to be close.  On the other hand, I have made some semblance of a blog post.  I’ll try for a better one tomorrow.

 

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No New Leaf on Monstrous Monday

Posted on November 6, 2018 by mohawkvalleygirl

Monday is perhaps not the best day to turn over a new leaf.  Oh dear, a little voice in my head is saying, “Well, there is never a good day, you just have to do it.”  What an annoying little voice.  Are others tormented by such voices?  I know, the voices in your head probably say the voices in my head are full of beans.  Only they don’t say “beans.”

Nobody does, Monster, nobody does.

I think the idea of making all kinds of improvements on Monday is just an excuse for indulging in all kinds of excesses on Sunday.  That being the case, I supposed I should have misbehaved a little more on Sunday, but too late now.

So I guess it is pretty obvious that I really, truly got nothin’ today.  But being Monstrous Monday, perhaps I can throw in a couple pictures of creepy creatures and get away with it once again.

Full disclosure: I’m not sure if this is Bela Lugosi or Martin Landau playing Bela Lugosi.

Here is a human being as a monster, arguably the worst kind of monster, although I am no hand at argument.

 

But how can I escape my destiny?

Can I have a Monstrous Monday without Nosferatu?  Why would I want to?  Don’t you just hate it when somebody answers a question with another question?

 

Despite what rumors you may have heard, this is not actual footage of my first date with Steven.

Nobody has called me a monster lately.  I wonder if I have been doing something wrong.

So this is my silly Monstrous Monday post for the week.  Not my only silly post, no doubt, but the only Monstrous Monday.  I hope to get back to having Mohawk Valley adventures and making real blog posts.  We’ll see how Tuesday is for a new leaf.

 

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