Tag Archives: lame post

Making with the Random Observations

Posted on August 17, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

Well, I’m afraid it is another Lame Post Friday and it probably surprises nobody, least of all myself, that I got nuthin’. In my defense, I was working on my novel. And talking to my husband on my cell phone. And helping my co-worker with the crossword puzzle. Yes, the same lame excuses as last time.

As I sat at work and it was quite clear to me that this would indeed be a Lame Post Friday, I thought I could at least come up with some random observations. I feel that Lame Post Friday has been heavy on half-baked philosophy lately. In fact, it has been spilling out onto other days. So I thought I could leaven the mix with random observations.

I sat at my machine at work and observed… Well, you see, I look out the window, across a very short expanse of grass and weeds, onto a brick wall. The bricks are old. There is some grey foundation beneath the bricks. There are windows, some open, one hanging brokenly. I don’t believe they are ever shut.

How boring is that? Oh, I did notice one thing on my drive home. Two young kids on scooters, a girl maybe nine and a boy maybe four (not that I’m good at guessing ages). They were followed by a lady, presumably the mother, walking a very cute dog — it may have been part pug or maybe bulldog. The dog pulled eagerly on his leash. I think he wanted to be up there with the kids. At least, I don’t know if it was a boy or a girl dog. I use “he” and “his” in a gender neutral sense. I don’t like to call a dog “it.”

I suppose I could come up with some half-baked philosophy on “he/she/it,” but today is random observation day. Also, my word count is up to 300. Plenty enough for a Friday! Have a good weekend, everybody!

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No Potatoes

Posted on August 16, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I don’t really know what that means. Louis Armstrong says it at the beginning of one of the songs on a CD I have, and since it is a non-sequitur there, I thought I would it would be appropriate as a headline on Non-Sequitur Thursday.

As you can guess, I ain’t got much.

I’m not really sure what Non-Sequitur Thursday is supposed to be anyways. I guess I just use it as an early Lame Post Friday. Sorry about that, but, you know what, I’m tired. It’s been a long week. A pedantic person would say the week is seven days long, as is every week since they invented weeks. That person would be quite right, but, you know what, being right is no reason to say something. There’s some half-baked philosophy I may re-visit on Lame Post Friday.

Lame Post Friday, that’s the day I’m waiting for. For one thing, it’s defined. Random observations and half-baked philosophy. What is Non-Sequitur Thursday but me being too lazy to write a real post. Right up there with Wuss-Out Wednesday.

Stand by for some more half-baked philosophy: I started this blog because I wanted to make myself write something every day. Does it count if what I write is dumb? How much effort is it required that one expend for writing to “count”? I put it in quotes, because it just occurred to me to wonder, what does it even mean for writing to count?

I will feel better if I answer those questions. Yes, it counts, no matter how dumb, and “dumb” is a judgement call anyways (we’ll save half-baked philosophy on “dumb” for another day). The effort of putting fingers to keyboard or around pencil is effort enough. For writing to count, it must mean something to someone, and quite frankly, most writing does (maybe something dumb, but let’s not re-open that can of worms).

Now maybe I’ll go eat some potatoes.

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Author of My Own Disaster

Posted on August 11, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

So there I was, writing a blog post about me getting organized. I was getting all self-deprecating about how unorganized I am and hoping people would identify with my tribulations — after all, nobody’s perfect — when my computer froze. Oh well, I was sure it would unfreeze soon, at least to the extent that I could re-start it. I grabbed a pen and notebook and started handwriting while I waited.

And waited. And waited. I don’t know if it was a product of my frustration or an honest reaction, but I soon realized that what I was writing was dreadfully boring and going to run into an awfully hefty word count. A lame post is one thing (although I try to reserve those for Friday). A lame, long post is a terrible thing (I just know there’s some snide reader out there saying, “But nothing new.” Where do I get all these snide readers? Oh yeah, inside my head).

Where was I? Ah yes, shutting down my computer in hopes it will help. I managed to do at least that much, and brought the boring handwritten post downstairs to ponder over a cup of tea. Being prone to catastrophize, I worried that my computer has finally given up the ghost and my future as a blogger is in jeopardy. Why, oh why did I not do this earlier, when I could have run to the library and made my post? Once again, I am the author of my own disaster (ooh, how’s that for a high-flown phrase? Perhaps I’ll use it for the title) (if I ever get this typed into a computer).

I guess today’s post (again, if I ever get it typed in and published) (which, apparently I did, if you are reading this) (ooh, I just flashed on Bill and Ted, jumping back and forth in time in their first Excellent Adventure) is another version of the dog ate my homework (my dog would NEVER do such a thing). I may yet write about my adventures in organization. I will try to make it not boring, even to hypothetical snide readers in my head.

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Continuing the Fun

Posted on August 10, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

When Steven and I left the Balloon Farm Bed and Breakfast (see yesterday’s post), we were not ready to end our afternoon of fun. We decided to treat ourselves to a visit to the Waterfront Grille in Herkimer, NY.

The Waterfront Grille is located just across from the New York State Thruway exit, at Gems Along the Mohawk. Lil’ Diamond Cruises leave from there, and there is a delightful retail store that highlights many area businesses and attractions. I’ve plugged Gems Along the Mohawk before, and probably will again.

We sat at the bar and ordered drinks. I love looking out over the water. I hope to go on one of the cruises before the season is over. We discussed the possibility as we perused the menu. After much debate, we got two of the appetizer specials: bacon-wrapped artichoke hearts and grilled chicken wings. Yum!

Waterfront Grille’s actual address is 800 Mohawk St., Herkimer, NY. Their phone number is 315-717-0700.

This is quite a short post, even for a Lame Post Friday. I’ve been trying to think what I could add to it and, what a surprise, I got nuthin’. Not even a would-be witty comment on why I can’t think of anything. I suppose you’ll have that in the blogging business. Happy Friday, everybody.

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Welcome Back, Wuss-Out Wednesday

Posted on August 8, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

I just remembered something: Wuss-Out Wednesday. Not a feature I use very often. Need to have one today.

Not a good writing day. See, I’m even writing in sentence fragments right now, which is not a vice in which I usually indulge (although I did keep from ending that sentence on a preposition) (which bothers some people).

I wrote a little bitty bit on my novel. Then my breaks at work were taken up with other important stuff, like talking to my husband on the telephone and working on the crossword puzzle with my co-worker. It is a bad idea to neglect the whole rest of your life just because you want to be a writer.

Now there’s a topic suitable for the half-baked philosophy portion of Lame Post Friday: work/life balance. How much life does a middle-aged woman such as myself really need? Mae West famously said it’s not the men in your life but the life in your men, but I don’t think that really applies here. Just thought I’d throw it in, although perhaps I should have saved it for Non-Sequitur Thursday.

However, it is neither Friday nor Thursday. And I may be working this weekend, so the days of the week may be rendered meaningless in any case. Be that as it may, I must think of something reasonably entertaining to say for today (I just noticed I used “may” three times in two sentences, but that may be OK).

The Powerball Lottery has reached some ungodly amount. I put in for a workplace pool. You know how often groups at work win the lottery. I don’t expect to win, but just in case, I didn’t want to be the one yahoo showing up for work on Monday because I was too cheap to pitch in the two bucks.

“No, that’ll be Darren and Mark,” said Jenny (not their real names).

“I’ll send them flowers if we win,” I said. Then I remembered that my husband had also purchased a Powerball ticket. I asked Jenny if she and the others would sue me if he won.

“No, but you’ll have to share it with us,” she said.

“I’ll buy you pizza,” I promised. I hope we win more than two dollars. It would be awkward to buy pizza for a whole section on two dollars.

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Maybe More Coffee Would Help

Posted on August 3, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

So there I was at work. I had written a page on my novel before my shift began. You may remember, that novel that keeps me from writing blog posts. I was determined not to let that happen today, Lame Post Friday or not.

I was going to think about my blog post all morning till I came up with something. It’s worked before. In any case, I had reached the end of a scene in my novel and had no idea where to go next. The novel is at that stage. I’m sort of limping along till I get to the top of the next hill, to speak metaphorically.

I began to work and think (my job is the sort where you can multi-task like that) (although in general I am no fan of multi-tasking). I was drinking coffee (no, that does NOT count as another task. Sheesh!). That was it! I would write about coffee!

I began to think about all the good things I could say about coffee. I even had a few good memories to share. Oh dear, would that make it more suitable for Middle-aged Musings Monday? Well, that would be OK. I could write it today and be ahead for Monday. I could hardly wait for the nine o’clock break to write that blog post.

The break buzzer rang. I sat down and took out my notebook. And began to write a whole new scene in my novel where the characters were sitting around drinking coffee. I worked on that scene for the rest of break and most of lunch!

So once again, the novel wins, and I write a post on Why I Can’t Write a Post. I don’t think that’s so bad for a Lame Post Friday. We’ll see what the weekend brings.

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Lame Lament

Posted on July 27, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

So here I am on another Lame Post Friday, feeling a little discouraged about this whole blogging business.

Oh, I can hear it now, the mean people saying, “So stop writing a blog! Nobody asked you to!” And then they say, with a sniff, “We’re not MEAN, we’re REALISTIC.” I explain, “Shut up” (an SJ Perelman reference I have used numerous occasions).

That parenthetical comment raises the half-baked philosophical question of where are the lines drawn between reference, homage and stealing somebody else’s stuff? I do hope the fact that I gave credit to Mr. Perelman absolves me from charges of plagiarism (which some people feel is the sincerest form of flattery).

My other philosophical question (half-baked, of course) is where is the line drawn between discouragement and feeling sorry for oneself? I believe the difference is one of point of view. I feel discouragement; you feel sorry for yourself (oh, not you, dear reader; I’m just giving an example).

I actually thought to write a non-lame (or perhaps semi-lame) post today. I was cooking something unexpected for supper and thought to write about that. Then I realized: far too much trouble for a Friday. I’ll save it for tomorrow or next week.

If boasting no other virtue, a lame post should be short. I’ll sign off now. Happy Friday, everybody.

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Keeping It Lame

Posted on July 20, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

There are times when one certainly appreciates Lame Post Friday (one is me in this case). However, one must also admit (still me) that even on Lame Post Friday, one must write something.

One might think I had thoroughly hashed out the subject of How Stupid of a Post Still Counts as a Post (one is not me in this case). One might be right. On the other hand, I’m betting most of my readers don’t read every single post (but God bless you if you do!). On a third hand (using my foot as a hand?), perhaps I can think of something new to say.

Well, I think I did. Using a foot as a hand is not a silly joke I have made before. Perhaps some did not find it a particularly funny joke, but at least it had the charm of originality.

Oh, here’s some half-baked philosophy: what can you say when originality masquerades as talent? Another question: just because something has never been done before is that sufficient reason to do it?

I’m thinking right now of some current and recent movies (like in the last few years). Some movie makers are known for “pushing the envelope” (I might research where that expression came from for another post. I mean, what envelope? Just saying). Torture porn falls under this category, as do ultra violent films. I’m not saying none of these films have artistic merit (I don’t watch many movies from this century). I’m asking, does their entire merit consist in the fact that they have done something that has never been done before? Discuss amongst yourselves.

Well, that was a totally wimp out discussion. You may have noticed I did not mention any specific movies or in fact make a strong stance on the issue. I just brought up the question.

In my defense, the heat wave in the Mohawk Valley continues, and neither my place of employment nor my residence boast air conditioning. And anyone who is rolling their eyes and forming the words, “You think you’ve got it bad” or “I don’t want to hear it,” just give it a rest. My brain has been baked, steamed, boiled and stewed for five days now. This is all I got.

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Where’s Bill Murray When You Need Him?

Posted on July 18, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

OK, so I started to write a post this morning about how hot it is. I knew I had set a precedent for such a subject about a year ago with a post titled “I’m Me-elting” (I know how to make a ping-back to that, but I’m not sure it’s really worth a click) (although I did kind of like the last paragraph).

From that last parenthetical comment you see that I looked up the post. I had, in fact, just about decided not to use what I had written this morning but instead to make it a kind of a cooking post, telling about what I threw together for supper just now. Then I thought, oh what the hell, I’ll look at “I’m Me-elting” first, just to see what I said.

Well, I hadn’t said much about the heat but immediately went into a kind of a cooking post.

What is this, Groundhog Day?

So I’m going back to Plan A and write about the heat, making this another Wuss-Out Wednesday.

This year’s heat wave started just as I was dealing with my flooding woes (I’ll say it again: not as bad as some people’s, but bad enough to upset me!). I said to a friend at work, “I remember last year when the worst thing I had to deal with was how hot it was. Boy, those were the days!”

I thought about that for a minute then said, “Oh dear, do you suppose something worse is going to happen next year, so I’ll say, ‘Last year all I had to deal with was heat and a flooded basement. Boy, those were the days!'”

I live in fear.

Just kidding. I admit to sometimes trying to peer around that figurative bend in the road, to see what stupid thing is going to happen next. But that gets into half-baked philosophy, more suitable for Lame Post Friday. And I just thought of a silly headline that really makes today kind of like Non-Sequitur Thursday.

Incidentally, I thawed some shrimp, made cocktail sauce and cooked broccoli in the microwave. And served some black olives which happened to be in the refrigerator, by way of garnish. I include this information in case anybody is saying, “Gee, I wish she would have done the cooking post.”

I bet nobody was.

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I Don’t Know What to Doo-Dah

Posted on July 13, 2013 by mohawkvalleygirl

It has been a bad week for writing. There, I’ve said it.

And now begins the chorus of “Oh, just write,” and “Never mind your MOOD,” and “Writer’s Block? There just ain’t no such animal!”

To answer those in reverse order: Who said I had Writer’s Block? NOBODY! Did I even mention mood? NO! What am I doing right now? WRITING!

But I have not been writing well, and I have not been enjoying writing (well, maybe that last paragraph was a little fun). This being Lame Post Friday, I thought it would be OK to kvetch a little.

And that is when I completely run dry, because who wants to listen to a middle-aged lady kvetch? Not me! How about my usual random observations and half-baked philosophy instead?

Ilion, NY will soon celebrate their Ilion Days festival, including the Doo-Dah parade. There is a sign up at my place of employment looking for people to march in it. I have been going around asking people if they intend to march, because I like saying “Doo-Dah Parade.” It’s fun. Try it.

Did you try it?

Under the heading Now What Stupid Thing’s Going To Happen? I’ve got a soft tire on my vehicle. This could lead to some half-baked philosophy alluded to earlier in the week: what did we do to deserve this? My philosophical advice to myself is: don’t look too closely at it, or I might find I’m actually getting a lot less than I deserve in the Stupid Things department. How does one keep score on these things? Another philosophical question.

Friday Lame Posts should be short, so I’ll end here. Anyone wanting more information on the Ilion Days and the Doo-Dah Parade (more fun to say than type, but what are you going to do?) can go to www.iliondoodah.com or call 894-2308.

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