Tag Archives: writing

Humid with a Chance of Lame

Have I written a post this summer about how it is too damn hot for me to write a blog post?   I know I have written several of those in the past, but have I written any in 2016?  I bet I have.  Well, this is another one, but being as it is Lame Post Friday, I believe I can get away with it.

This whole week has been dreadfully hot and humid.  Unofficial end of summer my ass!  Of course there is no use in complaining about it.  The weather will do what it decides to, whoever is pleased or otherwise.  So, anybody who is saying huffily, “I LIKE summer weather” can just say it to somebody else.

I am going through a downswing.  Mood-wise, writing-wise, blog-wise.  But I must fight the tendency to mope around in a corner.  Oh poor, pitiful me!  Said with one wrist at my forehead, of course.  Perhaps I could manage a swoon.  The problem with that is that you can’t count on somebody being around who will revive you with a glass of brandy.  Why did those ladies in the old time novels push away the brandy?  Where they nuts?

Well, that was kind of a stream of consciousness paragraph, wasn’t it?  That is probably a side effect of stewed brain, which is what I fear is in my skull today.   The only other thing I can share in hopes of offering some entertainment is the following:

When I am cleaning my machines at the end of my work day, I sometimes sing the theme song from The Blob.  “It creeps and leaps and glides and slides across the floor, right through the door and all around the wall, a splotch, a blotch, be wary of the Blob! (Beware of the Blob!)”  That’s it, over and over.  Then I do “dah daah!” and other random syllables for the musical interludes.  Then back into the lyric.  Sometimes I dance a tango step or two.

Today, when I got back to the lyrics for the third or fourth time, I heard myself sing,  “…a splotch, a blotch, be wary of the Blog!”

Wouldn’t that be a great title for a post?  But if I used it for this one, it would spoil the joke.  I’ll keep it in mind for the upcoming Halloween season.  In the meantime, I’m over 300 words.  Happy Friday, everyone.

 

Too Tired to Toot

I thought this morning that I would not make a Tired Tuesday post today. For one reason, I went back on eight-hour days.  I got up almost an hour and a half later than usual. Yes!  It put me in quite a jaunty mood as I went into work this morning.  I even thought I might go back to a seldom-used feature I have and make a Toot My Horn Tuesday post. As it happens, however, I am getting tired and I have very little horn to toot.

No matter.  One must make a blog post (one being me, of course; I realize other ones do not feel this compulsion).  I just made myself a salad, so could I make a Tasty Tuesday post?  Unfortunately I am quite disappointed in my salad.  I did not have any macaroni to make a macaroni salad with, as I had intended.  Still, the salad I did make was healthy and perhaps lighter in calories than the mayonnaise-drenched vision I originally cherished.  And I ought to feel pleased with myself that I did make a salad.  Ooh, could that be a reason to toot my horn?  Hmmmm…. just not feeling it.

I spent a great deal of today being happy that it is a mere four day week for me.  I looked at the calendar and saw that I have only three five-day weeks before my next long weekend (I’m using vacation days for that one).  These are the things that make me happy.

What else will make me happy?  Writing a better blog post!  Alas, I spent my breaks at work studying my lines for my upcoming dramatic role.  I’ll see if I can’t come up with something better for tomorrow.  Happy Tuesday, everyone.

 

We Interrupt my Sunday for a Wrist to Forehead Moment

I pause in the midst of my day for a Wrist to Forehead Sunday post.  It is not really a bad Sunday; I just don’t feel up to making a good post.  I feel sure my readers will understand or at least forgive.  If not, oh well, what the hell, as a wise woman once said (it was my mother).

I got up and ran this morning, managing a better run than yesterday.  In fact, the day all around has been a better day.  I did some laundry, I did the dishes, I finished a letter and wrote a post card, Steven and I went grocery shopping (I neglected to put cilantro on the list, although I had planned to make salsa), I did some chopping and mixing.  I could probably manage a blog post about one of those.  Yet, I feel strangely disinclined to do so.

Oh who am I kidding? There is nothing strange about it.  I often feel disinclined to make what I call a real blog post, especially on a Sunday.  Hence, my usual Wrist to Forehead Sunday.  This is what comes of a blogger not taking any days off.  Would one suggest I make fewer posts per week but make them better?  That won’t work for me; I would just stop posting entirely, because nothing would ever been good enough.

That would be no tragedy, you say?  You could be right, but it is not a very nice thing to say now, is it?  On the other hand, that gives me a reason to have a wrist to forehead moment.  Alack and alas!  Somebody, somewhere does not want me posting every day!  Whatever will I do? Who is this discouraging miscreant?  Ah yes, the imaginary critic in my own head.  Silly me.

Now I am getting entirely too silly.  I shall sign off and get back to enjoying my Sunday.  I hope all my readers are having a similarly enjoyable time.

 

After Dinner Lame

Ooh, is my stomach full.  We just got back from Salvatore’s right here in Herkimer, NY, where I had the first calzone I have had in years.  I must say, YUM!  But, what a surprise, I ate too much of it. I still have plenty left over for further pig out activities.  In the meantime, I am quite late in making this week’s Friday Lame Post.  What, I ask, is a blogger to do?

It is hardly a “real” Friday for me, because I work tomorrow.  No, I am NOT complaining about it, I’m just SAYING.  Sheesh!  Then again, there is no pleasing some people so I might as well just stop trying.  Why, yes, I had a glass of wine with dinner, why do you ask?

I had thought I might possibly write something earlier today, on breaks at work, and avoid sitting here in front of a blank screen trying to be funny (or at least coherent).  I started by working on a letter I had started to a friend.  It did not go so well.  I ended up going back to a puzzle book I had handy and working on some puzzles.  It was all my brain wanted to do.  As the day wore on, things got even worse, brain-wise.

Yes, the heat and humidity continues in the Mohawk Valley, along with its deleterious effect on my writing activities (don’t you just love that word, deleterious?).  As I left work today, a work friend was talking about what he was going to do next week.  I said, “I am going to get my act together.  Do you believe me?”  Nobody did.  Even I didn’t believe me.

On the other hand, here I am, over 250 words and it’s past my bed time.  I hope to see you all again tomorrow on Scattered Saturday, or whatever kind of Saturday it turns out to be.  Happy Friday, everyone.

 

Can I Manage some Mental Meandering?

I may have made some misguided remarks about getting back to “real” posts today, now that Much Ado About Nothing is over, but I just don’t imagine anybody believed them.  For heavens’ sake, I had a brutally busy weekend including two performances and a cast party, I worked ten hours today, I did some other stuff after work, I’m TIRED.  And it isn’t Tired Tuesday yet.  I think I might manage a Monday Mental Meanderings.  Let’s see what comes of the keyboard.

A side note:  Much Ado isn’t completely over yet.  We may have one more performance.  I’ll write a blog post about it if we do.

I promised myself that I would write more when I wasn’t running around to rehearsals and performances so much.  I was really looking forward to it.  Who knew I was going to feel so brain dead today.  Oh, who am I kidding? Everybody knew it.  Still, I brought a notebook to work and did not bring any cryptogram puzzles or other reading material.  I would write SOMETHING. Sometime turned out to be a letter to my sister.  I didn’t finish it.

The notebook I had brought was not one I had written in recently.  While flipping through to a blank page, I discovered a novel I started last year which I had been thinking about lately but did not know where it was.  Now I know!  I re-read what I had written.  Sometimes when I am reading something I wrote I think, I am a very good writer. No doubt I flatter myself.  I really must start finishing my novels.  Then they might be published and other people could judge what kind of a writer I am (although I will probably say to them, “Don’t judge”).

In the meantime, I declare this foolish blog post done and I will see if I can come up with something better for tomorrow.  Happy Monday, everyone.

 

We’ll Always Have Lame Post Friday

I really did try to write while I was at work today (YES, on a break, don’t go speed-dialing my boss!).  For one reason, I ran out of cryptogram puzzles from the newspaper and I didn’t bring a book or magazine nor yet my script to study (that last would have been a good idea; missed a bet).  Well, the brain dead thing continues, I guess. Anyways, it’s Lame Post Friday.  I can’t get too exercised on Lame Post Friday (exercise!  That would be another good idea!  Oh well).

It isn’t even a “real” Friday for me, because I work tomorrow.  Oh, don’t sneer at me, all you non-Monday-to-Friday people.  I know, you all work harder and longer than me at more challenging, important jobs.  Blah, blah, blah.  I wasn’t complaining.  Much.

My plan had been to write about LiFT’s performance of Much Ado About Nothing last night at Benton’s Landing in Little Falls.  It went very well.  Actors and audience both endured high temperatures and humidity.  We were rewarded with a live Shakespeare experience.  Oh, I do love theatre.  I love writing too; I just don’t seem to be capable of doing much of that lately.  As I often say, one must persevere.

Tomorrow afternoon we have another performance, this one on the stage where we have rehearsed the most, Sterzinar Park, Canal Place, Little Falls.  Saturday’s show is at 4 p.m., then Sunday we have one at 3.  For more information, you can visit LiFT’s Facebook page.  You can also see some fun pictures of our other performances.

And in case anybody was wondering, Sunday will conclude All Much Ado All The Time and we return to our regularly scheduled blog posts (you know, a few “real” posts surrounded by foolishness about How I Can’t Write a Post Today).  I do hope you’ll stay tuned.

 

 

 

Some Kind of Halt

I gradually realized what my problem is.  I started to put “suddenly realized” but the fact is I do not do anything quickly these days.  Yes, it is the heat.  If you are one of those people who worship summer weather and feel chilled when the mercury drops below 75,… I don’t know where I was going with that sentence.  After all, people have the right to like whatever kind of weather suits their fancy.  To each his own, as the old lady said when she kissed the cow (I stole that expression from  friend).

I have mentioned in this space that I melt in the heat (alas, not literally; my weight-loss goals continue to elude me).  My body slows down and my brain comes to a grinding halt. Is that a cliche, “grinding halt”?  Perhaps I could come up with a more imaginative term.  Let’s see, what kind of halt has my brain ground to?  Did it, in fact, grind?  Or was it something… gooshier?  It did not slosh, because that implies more movement than I have recently experienced.  More of a drag.  My brain dragged along in a discouraged fashion and at last reached an ominous stillness.

Ominous?  Perhaps so, because it may never start again.  Still, “ominous” implies that my brain is actually doing something, namely threatening unspecified consequences.  Only it is not.  It is lying there, thinking nothing, offering nothing, doing nothing.

I wrote the preceding during my nine o’clock break at work.  When I read it over at lunch time, my brain thought, “complete halt.”  Of course, “complete halt,” I realized.  That is what I meant.  Perhaps not evocative, but more accurately and less cliche-edly what happened (yes, I know, “cliche-edly” is not a work, but it is exactly what I mean).  It was some few minutes later that I realized for my brain to think “complete halt” it clearly was not at one (yes, it took some minutes, moving slow in the heat, remember?).

If only I could think of an unrelated yet clever-sounding title, this could be a Non-Sequitur Thursday post.  However, I have no time nor, as observed ad nauseum, brain for such a thing.  I must get ready for a performance of Much Ado About Nothing at Benton Landing in Little Falls at 6.  I am quite nervous but of course looking forward to it.  Happy Thursday, everyone.

 

Oh I Can’t Publish This!

I already wrote a post called “When in Doubt, Eat Ice Cream.”  That is the situation I am in now.  I got nuthin’ and I’m about to eat ice cream, hoping it will help.

This time I only got three sentences typed before the ice cream was ready.  It worked better last time.  At least the ice cream tasted pretty good.

I am still having the damnedest time writing anything.  In fact, I am having a difficult time doing anything.  My entire being just wants to sit and stare into space.  Or better yet, lie down and stare at the ceiling.  Maybe at the television.  I think I could bestir myself to the point of reading a really trashy paperback.

And THAT was when our wi-fi quit.  I don’t properly understand technology, as regular readers (if any) know.  We are apparently back on-line now.  If only it was so easy to get my brain in gear!

Oh, I can’t publish this.

I typed in the above before I had to hurry away to a committee meeting for Ilion Little Theatre.  It is a committee exploring online ticket sales. Full disclosure:  I had a couple of glasses of Pinot Noir during the meeting.  I figured, we drink during ILT dinner meetings, why not a little libation during a committee meeting?

So it turns out I can so publish this.  The crappy posts continue! A warning:  it may not get much better tomorrow.  I have a performance of Much Ado About Nothing at six, so I will be leaving my house before five.  Oh dear, how embarrassing.  Unfortunately, I do not see how I can avoid it.  We’ll call this a Wuss-out Wednesday, and I am going to hit Publish.

 

Not Even Time to Think of a Lame Headline

For today’s Friday Lame Post, I shall share what I wrote in my spiral notebook while on lunch at work earlier this week.  I shall add comments as I feel like it.  I think I will put the comments in italics, just to be precious (whatever that means) (I may address that use of “precious” in a future post).  And I just italicized what I just typed in, to be consistent.

My plan, for last week as well as this week, was to write blog posts ahead so I would only have to hit “publish” before heading out for rehearsal or performance.  So far it has not worked out very well.  Still, it’s only Tuesday.  I have hopes for this week.  Not high hopes. As you may guess, I was correct not to harbor high hopes.

Today I am testing a long-held theory of mine.  The theory is:  you can write when you’re in pain as long as it is not a headache.  My wrist is throbbing for unknown reasons.  And here I am writing.  True, it is my left wrist and I am right handed.

Oh!  It hurts like a son of a bitch!  My theory is wrong.

Come to think of it, I knew my theory was wrong years ago.  I had strep throat when I was in college, and it made me feel dreadfully ill.  My head throbbed in a most painful fashion.  But I had exams and I took them.  Well, let me tell you I wrote some of the best essays of my life with my head throbbing.  Maybe part of the reason was that I wanted to get finished and get the hell out of there and back to bed, but I felt as if my brain focused with laser precision and cut through all the crap.

What did I learn from this?  I don’t know, but I think I won’t use this blog post, because I do not like it (oh, I do NOT remember writing that part.  Oh crap).

And I wish my wrist would stop hurting.

My wrist is feeling better, for any kind readers who were concerned.  Probably a stupid pulled muscle or something.  I feel a little silly for having made such a fuss about it, but as I wrote earlier, it did hurt like the proverbial son of a bitch.  I’m wondering if my original assessment of not liking and thus not publishing this post was not the right one.  However, for reasons I have been talking about for weeks (remember, Much Ado About Nothing?), I now only have time to hit “Publish.”  Happy Friday, everyone.

Under the heading, It Takes So Little To Please Some People, I like the way the title of the play is not italicized when it falls in a paragraph that is all italicized.

 

Lazy Saturday Afternoon

Yes, it is another Slacker Saturday post.  I decided this after I typed in four or eight possible leads (who was counting?) and immediately backspaced over them.  Don’t judge me.

Our dear little doggy, Spunky, got us up prior to 5:30 this morning.  That was at least later than our usual 4:30 rising time, so I counted my blessings and put on my running clothes.  After accompanying Spunkman (as Steven likes to call him) on his morning business meeting, I went for a run.  It was not as long a run as I have taken, but I petted two dogs, went up something of a hill, and reached the I Can Rock This stage, although briefly.

I had rehearsal for Much Ado About Nothing at 10 a.m. in Little Falls.  That’s always fun.  I just love community theatre.  You meet the nicest people.  Also, I am an incurable ham (get it?  Because ham is a cured meat?  Well, I thought it was a play on words).

After rehearsal, Steven and I had some discussion of what to do, but eventually we went out to lunch at Cucina Berto in Frankfort, and grocery shopping at Hannaford in Herkimer.  When we got home, we took our doggy for a walk around the block (that is usually about as far as our little friend wants to go). Now we are wondering what to watch on television, if anything.

As you can see, I have indulged in a number of bloggable activities today: run, rehearsal, lunch, shopping, walk.  I could even write about How I Can’t Write a Post Today, given the number of starts I erased before I started.  Instead, I offer… what I just wrote.  Happy Saturday, everyone.

P.S.  Steven suggested the title.