Category Archives: Lame Post Friday

Late, Lame Lush

Posted on November 21, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Um, I don’t know that I am really all that much of a lush.  But I love alliteration, and since alcohol was involved in today’s post, I thought I would stretch a point.

Thank goodness it is Lame Post Friday, although this will be the third foolish post in a row.  However, I have a policy of not apologizing for these things, at least on Fridays.  Policies subject to change without notice, but that’s neither here nor there.

I am late doing my post today, because I had to meet a friend at a couple of wine tastings at local liquor stores.  Wine tastings at liquor stores are a wonderful thing, because you can try wines you would not necessarily purchase untasted and perhaps discover something you like.  Sometimes you can increase your knowledge of wine and gain oenophile cred (although it helps if you know how to pronounce “oenophile,” which I do not) (I’m not even sure that is how you spell it, although my computer seems to think it is correct).

More importantly, you can often chat up nice people, or meet up with friends and have a fun interlude.  Today I met a friend at Vintage Spirits in Herkimer and then we went to Ilion Wine and Spirits in Ilion.  Full disclosure:  if she had been unable to make it, I probably would have gone to the tastings by myself.  But it would not have been nearly as fun.

I hope to do full posts about each tasting, sharing what I tasted and what I learned.  However, today is Friday.  I got home late and have to get up early.  I have some relaxing to do.  Also, I have to finish cooking dinner (ooh, maybe I can get a cooking post out of today as well).

In short, I hope you are having a happy Friday.  I am.

 

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Lame to You and More of It!

Posted on November 14, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

For today’s Lame Friday Post, I bring you another edition of Common Expressions Revisited.  Warning!  This post may become somewhat vulgar.  If you don’t think you’ll like that, don’t read. And regular readers KNOW how I feel about the expression TMI (hate it, Hate it, HATE IT!!!).

Kiss my ass.  No, no, I’m not telling you to do that.  That’s the first expression I want to talk about it.  Think about all the people you have told, directly or remotely to kiss your ass (by remotely, I mean, “He/she/they can kiss my ass!)”   Now consider the wear and tear on your buns if everyone, or even a portion of that number availed themselves of that generous invitation.  Yikes!

Bite me.  This is sometimes said as “Bite my butt,” which I kind of prefer, as it has the charm of alliteration.  Obviously, this could be even more painful than kissing.   In the “Bite me” version, I worry that one does not specify the body part.  I feel it leaves one vulnerable.

To my last statement, some of you are no doubt saying, “Well, it goes without saying,”  and that is another common expression I take exception to.  Very few things actually go without saying.  Oh yes, there are a few things we can and do take for granted, like, for example, gravity.  But my observation is that people still say them.  In other words, “It goes without saying” is usually not the end of the sentence.  Usually it’s, “It goes without saying THAT…”  Ah yes, there is the variation that it is said in answer,  “That goes without saying.”  Well, it didn’t go without saying if I just said it, now, did it?  I’m just saying.

OK, I guess the first two examples could be considered vulgar, but I feel there an be no possible exception to the third.  On my next grammatical excursion, I may discuss the expressions “I think,” “I believe,” and “I feel.”  I hope you are all having a delightful Friday.

 

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But I’m Not the Star!

Posted on November 7, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I was going to call today’s post “A Big Night at the Little Theatre,”  after a work friend said it to me.  Then I thought it has probably been used many, many times.  They do say plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery, oh wait, I say that.  I’m not given to flattery.  And I don’t need anybody to flatter me, either! (Oh yeah, like anybody is inclined to).

Where was I?  Ah yes, opening night of Lunch Hour, the first production of Ilion Little Theatre’s 2015-16 season.  As you may recall, I am stage manager.   I composed a blog post in my battered spiral notebook while on lunch at work, hoping to lighten my load in the evening. Um, that’s right now, as I am typing it in and making a LOT of changes, including the headline.

While I worked, I made myself flustered planning what I HAVE to get done, thinking wistfully about the things I would LIKE to get done, and wondering what on earth I was going to wear.  At least the last consideration has been taken care of.

Now, just stop shaking your head and giving me THAT look (I hate it when people give me that look!).  It is not as vain and frivolous as it may appear (that is not to say that I am not vain and frivolous, but that is not the topic of this blog post).  I really have very few wearable outfits at present.  I seem to have a lot of clothes, but most of them fall into categories like Don’t Fit Anymore, Not Appropriate, Not Comfortable, What The Hell Was I Thinking When I Bought That, and Dirty.  Some items fit more than one category, as you may imagine.

But never mind about me.  The play is going very well.  We had an excellent dress rehearsal last night, marred only by a bat episode, which I will perhaps describe at further length on Scattered Saturday.

Today’s post must be short.  I have a lot more dithering to do.

Local readers may like to come see the play at Ilion Little Theatre, Remington Avenue, Ilion, NY.   Performances are November 6, 7, 13 and 14 at 8 p.m., 8 and 15 at 2 p.m.  For more information you can visit www.ilionlittletheatre.org, and/or Like their Facebook page.

 

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Whiny Babies Need Love, Too

Posted on October 31, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I never feel quite right having a Lame Post Friday when I have to work on Saturday.  As a co-worker sensibly pointed out to me, it is still Friday; they can’t take that away from us.  But I think most Monday through Friday workers can understand how I feel.  People with different schedules are perhaps rolling their eyes and thinking I am a whiny baby.  Well, what if I am?  Whiny babies need love too, you know!

But I must not spend my entire post whining.  How tiresome, even for me.  Anyways, tomorrow is Halloween.  I LOVE Halloween!!!  Steven and I will stand on our front porch to greet the trick or treaters.  After that we shall watch scary movies.  Maybe even something I can write a blog post about (I love writing blog posts about cheesy horror movies).  Work-schmurk!  Tomorrow is going to be a fun day!

Tonight is also not without reward.  I am currently watching my beloved Snapped.  Snapped, for the uninitiated, is a documentary-style show about female murderers.  I do love a true crime documentary. Snapped is not one of your classier shows, like 20/20 or Dateline, but it’s not a re-enactment-fest like Deadly Women or Lethal Kin, although those re-enactment-fests can be kind of fun too.

So I guess this is my lame blog post for the day.  I whine, I anticipate, I watch television.  This is Friday night at my house.  Hope you’ll tune in again on Saturday.

 

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Power to Puzzles!

Posted on October 24, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

I bid you welcome.  I say it in a Count Dracula voice, since this is the night before my Halloweddinganniversaweenary Party (did you notice I didn’t say “wait for it”?).   Last night somebody remarked that it was a Halloween party NOT on Halloween, even though the holiday conveniently falls on Saturday this year.  Somebody else said, “It’s Orthodox Halloween.”  Gee, I wish I’d have said that.

That’s all by the way.  I guess I’m veering a little into Non-Sequitur Thursday territory on Lame Post Friday, but I feel sure my readers will forgive me.  The fact is, I once again did not write a post while at work today.  I was working on anacrostic puzzles in a puzzle book I just happened to have with me (why, no, officer, I don’t know HOW that puzzle book got into the bag of stuff I take to work with me) (that’s what I say to the Blog Police who would like to write me a ticket for three foolish posts in a row) (I say, put it on my tab, because it is sure to happen again).

Where was I?  Ah yes, Lame Post Friday. I thought this week I would indulge in a little table-top psychology instead of my usual half-baked philosophy.  The puzzle-book fits right in with today’s psychological observation (to make a break from random observations) (as you see, I am taking NO break from parenthetical comments).

Many years ago, a roommate of mine LOVED to do jigsaw puzzles, and she was very good at them.  One day she wondered why she loved them so much.

“It’s bringing order out of chaos,” I said, as if it were obvious.  She laughed at my table-top psychology.  At least, she did not accuse me of table-top psychology in so many words, but I got the expression from stories about her mother.  Her mother, a wise and witty woman taken from us much too soon, apparently indulged in a great deal of table-top psychology, always using that self-deprecating term to excuse herself.

I thought about this little exchange when I began to wonder why I love to do cryptogram puzzles.  The answer came to me right away:  looking for meaning in gibberish.  That works for anacrostic puzzles too.  I was so pleased with my insight that I posted it on my friend’s Facebook page (as regular readers know, Facebook is an important part of my life; I don’t know why I haven’t created a Facebook page for the blog yet).  She commented that I was right and that jigsaw puzzles were also a form of meditation for her.

I say this is cool.  And I just thought of my title for today’s post.  I am especially pleased that, even though this is a foolish post, I did not whine about not being able to write one.  I hope you are all having a lovely Friday.

 

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Lame Running Commentary

Posted on October 17, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh, swell.  I’ve got the dreaded type it in then backspace it out.  How many posts have I started with that observation?  I am far too lazy to go back and check.  But I was not too lazy to go running, so I will attempt to write a paragraph or two about that.

To begin with I was not going to run.  Did I mention I’m feeling lazy?  One problem was I had a headache for most of the day.  It was not a migraine, so I had that going for me.   The headache eased off by the time I got home, but I had just about talked myself out of running for the day.  What to do instead?  Take a shower?  Clean the house?  Fool around on Facebook?  I decided to call my parents.  They told me to go running.  So I did.

I could not move very fast.  In my defense, I worked a ten hour day today, which I have not done in a while.  Oh well, I guess I did do two last week.  But other than that, it’s been nine-hour days.  On the brighter side, I did not have to worry about going to rehearsal tonight.  So you see, the glass usually is half full.

Then I felt a twinge.  It felt as if I had pulled a muscle in the top of my foot.  For heavens’ sake, who pulls a muscle in the top of their foot?  How ridiculous!  I kept running, ignoring it as best as I could.  I tried to run smoothly, so as not to be pounding my great weight onto my foot.

I may have mentioned that I developed my smooth stride in the army.  An army friend told me I looked like I was speed walking when I ran.  She had knee problems so tried to imitate my run.  She said, “I tell myself,  ‘Do the Quackenbush!  Do the Quackenbush!'”  So today I thought to myself, “Do the Quackenbush!”

After a while my foot felt better.  Then I got a stitch in my side.  This is what it is like to be me.

No matter.  I kept running.  At least I could enjoy looking at the fall colors and admiring people’s Halloween decorations.  The temperature was very good for running: cool enough that I wasn’t sweaty, not so cold my hands got stiff (remember: glass half full).   I’ve had worse runs.

I ran for as long as I ran last time (Wednesday), which was 22 minutes.  I only walked a six-minute cool-down, because the ice cream truck seemed to be stalking me.  I hate that ice cream truck.

I was glad that I ran.  I’m even more glad that now I’ve made my blog post.  Did you find it a little lame?  May I remind you that this is Lame Post Friday?   I hope to see you again as the weekend progresses.

 

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Second Most Boring Post Yet

Posted on October 10, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Wow, that was a boring post.  Not yesterday’s, although I suppose some found it boring (you don’t have to tell me if it was you).  Not having written anything earlier today (except part of a letter to a friend) and feeling rather blank, I looked into my Drafts and saw, “The Most Boring Post Yet.”  Damned if I wasn’t right!

Although I guess today’s is bidding to become a close second (I KNOW at least one of you just said or thought that).  I did not have a headache today, for which I am extremely grateful.  However, these all-day headaches often leave me somewhat brain-dead the next day (cue unkind remarks about how my brain is not the most lively under the best of circumstances).

Then again, it is Lame Post Friday.  I almost always post lame on Friday, even when I have to work on Saturday (which I do this week, by the way).  It is usually my day of random observations and half-baked philosophy.  Let’s see if I can come up with any of those.

I have been making a lot of… not “real” post lately.  Call them lame, call them foolish, call the ridiculous (I know I have used all those descriptions).  The fact is, they have not been about specific Mohawk Valley events, places, or adventures.  I can offer the usual excuses:  I’ve been busy, I’ve been tired, I’ve been down.  If I was really clever I could offer some half-baked philosophy about why this is true or even why it is all right.  And here we come to the ugly truth about me:  not very clever (and those of you saying you already knew that, please shut up) (you know who you are).

Sorry, folks, I got nuthin’.  But I’m going to publish it anyways, because I don’t think I can come up with anything better.  Tomorrow maybe I’ll post The Most Boring Post Yet and you can compare/contrast.  Happy Friday, everyone.

Oh, but here’s a question:  since I have not published The Most Boring Post Yet yet, does that make this The Most Boring Post Yet?  Discuss amongst yourselves.

 

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Me and Balzac

Posted on October 3, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Hello, and welcome to another edition of Lame Post Friday.  I am your host, Mohawk Valley Girl.  To be perfectly honest, I would be taking another Blogger’s Sick Day, but it would be so tiresome in me to complain about my aches and pains.  Uh, I mean I don’t have any aches and pains.  I’m great!  I’m fine!  Everything will be delightful!

I got to work today and immediately sought out my friend, Dale, to say to him, “Balzac.”  I did not see him at first but paused to say hello to my friend Karen.  I told her, “If you see Dale, tell him Balzac.”  I thought she might not remember that, even after I explained why, but it did not matter, because I soon saw Dale and told him myself.

The explanation, which is not nearly as captivating as the word “Balzac,” is that Dale and I often work on crossword puzzles together.  Balzac was an answer we could not figure out.  While I was reading something completely unrelated the previous evening (while I waited for my desktop to boot up), I found out that Balzac was the writer referenced in the mysterious clue.  I spent the rest of the evening repeating, “Balzac” to myself so I would remember to tell Dale.

Full disclosure:  I have never read anything by Balzac.  I don’t know that I have even ever mentioned him in a sentence before this.  However, if this has been remiss of me, I believe I have made amends in the previous 24 hours.

If the ghost of Balzac is listening (and I’m sure I don’t know why he should be), I hope he is having a pleasant Friday, as indeed I hope you are yourself.

This was perhaps a silly post, but at least I didn’t whine too much.

 

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And Then Another Lame

Posted on September 26, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

OK, so it really is a Friday for me when I did not completely expect one.  I thought I was working Saturday until about 2:47 this afternoon.  OK,  I don’t know exactly what time it was; I just thought it would be funny to say it was a specific time that did not involve fives or zeros.

So I got home all happy and had a glass of wine.  My nice husband and I had amorphous plans.  We thought to go to K Mart and look at a ghost we might like to purchase.  I thought I would cook quesadillas.  We were not clear on order of events or times.  Then Steven (really, the perfect husband) said, “Or we could go out to eat.”

Obviously that is what we did.  At my suggestion we went to the Copper Moose Alehouse in Little Falls.  We sat at the bar and had some more Pinot Grigio (not enough that Steven could not drive home) and ordered food.  I had shrimp tacos.  Steven had a hamburger involving a fried egg and other toppings.  We chatted up the bartender and others.

In all, it was a delightful evening and one well worth a blog post. Can I always write a blog post at the end of a delightful evening? Regular readers know, the answer to that question is NO!!!

On the other hand, it is Lame Post Friday.  This is me, being lame for the day. I shall now go back to enjoying my Friday, as indeed, I hope the rest of you are doing.

But until I get to writing a real post about Copper Moose Alehouse, you can check them out yourself.  They are located at 518 E. Main St., Little Falls, NY , open Tuesday through Thursday 4 to 10 p.m., Friday and Saturday 4 to 11 p.m.  You can Like them on Facebook.  Let me know what you think.

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Post then Play

Posted on September 19, 2015 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh SWELL!  I’ve got the dreaded Type It In And Backspace It Out disease!

I grit my teeth and somehow keep from erasing that sentence.  Oh this is bad!  On the brighter side, it is Lame Post Friday.  I think we’re all expecting something foolish, so here it is.

I just sat here looking at the blank space and wondering what to put next.  So far, I got nuthin’.  In my defense, I have a play to do tonight.  I have to fix my hair, brush my teeth, get my stuff together, put the right clothes on… I already looked over my lines twice today.  Perhaps a third time would be better…

For anyone just tuning in, the play is Roxy, presented by the Herkimer County Historical Society at Ilion Little Theatre.  We opened last weekend.  We close this weekend.  Three more performances!  We sold out last weekend, and we have already sold out for this weekend.  People seem to like us.

However, I have a blog post to make.  A Friday Lame Post.  Traditionally on Lame Post Friday, I indulge in random observations and half-baked philosophy, so here it is:  At work today, I looked out the window and saw the dog that lives in a house across the street.  I said, “There’s that good dog.”  And that is also my philosophical observation for the day, I like to think that all dogs are good.  Discuss amongst yourselves.  I have to go get ready for my play.

 

 

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