Category Archives: personal

Would You Like Kvetch-up With That?

I would like to address the so-called No Whining Zone. As a well-known kvetch, this is obviously a subject near and dear to my heart. After great reflection, I have come to the conclusion that they do not work.

I understand the appeal of a No Whining Zone. It can be tiresome to listen to other people kvetch. And however much you think it will help you to express yourself, maybe it would be better sometimes, well, not to.

One must also acknowledge that many of us do not admit to whining in the first place. I think this is how I put it one other time: I have legitimate concerns, you like to complain, that one is a whiny baby. I personally will cop to being a kvetch. I just like the word.

So, having established that some of us… complain, let us address the purpose of the No Whining Zone. Is it a negative one: that is, NOT to have to listen to other people complain? Or is it a positive one: to concentrate instead on constructive thoughts and solving problems?

I know for some people it is the former; they just don’t want to hear it, and they don’t really care who may be going through what. I prefer the latter. What, in fact, does the No Whining Zone accomplish?

When I express a pain, discomfort, problem or complaint and hear, “NO WHINING ZONE!” my feelings (delicate at the best of times) are hurt. And my rebellious nature kicks in (it is a well-known human propensity to IMMEDIATELY want to do the one thing we are told not to). I might respond with something like, “I’ve got a right to kvetch!” or “The more you complain, the longer God lets you live!” etc.

However, if you present me with a viable alternative, I will take it under advisement. For example, instead of a No Whining Zone, how about a Positive Thoughts Zone? Instead of just shutting down complaints, could we transform them into solutions.

For example (I’m giving a lot of examples today), suppose I say, “I hate hot weather!” Your reply could be, “Since this is a Positive Thoughts Zone, why don’t you try to think of some things you like about summertime?”

Well, I would probably start out with, “I like it when it stays light later.” From there I would think about my container garden, evenings sitting on my deck, comfortable early morning runs. I would soon be feeling better about the whole thing. And, BONUS: You would no longer have to listen to me kvetch!

I think the real problem with a No Whining Zone is that you are trying to fight a negative with a negative. I think a better strategy is to transform the negative with a positive.

There might be some readers out there who think this is a really dumb idea that will never work, or that it is all a huge rationalization from a whiny baby. If that is the case, by all means, comment below. For my part, I will strive to come up with something nice to say back.

Props to the Belly Up Pub

I believe I’ve given a shout-out to the Belly Up Pub before. It is on Albany Street in Herkimer, NY, in the space that formerly housed Albany Street Cafe and before that something called Dineen’s (that was before my time). My husband Steven and I had a very fun time there last Saturday night.

It was a sort of a reply to Utica’s Saranac Thursdays: a live band in the parking lot. Simple Props was playing.

We arrived shortly after eight and paid our $5 cover, then wandered into the bar to get a drink. We found a tall table (my favorite kind) next to the window. Steven had been at work all day and wanted to sit down just at first. We noticed a couple of people had brought their own chairs to sit outside in. Not a bad idea.

We ended up going back and forth between inside and out. We’d go outside and enjoy the band, then go back inside when our feet started to hurt. There was not as much dancing going on as I would have liked, but we did boogey down to one song.

The band, Simple Props, was excellent. I especially liked their ’80s covers. They were obviously having a good time, which is something I always look for in a band. Some people congregated across the street, listening for free. The lead singer invited them over, but I don’t know if any of them came. I think at least some of them were underage.

The event drew a pretty good crowd. I observed a variety of ages, which I always like to see. Security was very much in evidence, but nobody was getting out of hand while we were there. Even I behaved myself.

We did not stay too late, because Steven had to work the next day. The Belly Up Pub is close enough to our house that we could walk, which is another think I like on a night out. We’re going to watch for more bands at the Belly Up. If you like them on Facebook, you can watch, too.

Strike Talk

Last fall I was in a readers’ theatre play called Strike Story, written by Little Falls, NY, resident Angela Harris. It told the story of the 1912 strike by Little Falls textile workers. Last Thursday Harris gave a lecture on the history of the strike at the Herkimer County Historical Society.

I had learned a lot about the strike by being in the play. However, I was sure there was more to learn. I was certain I had forgotten a lot from the play as well.

A small but interested crowd had gathered at 406 N. Main St. in Herkimer. Steven and I greeted some friends and found seats. A slide show accompanied the talk, showing many photographs of the period.

I guess I’d better not try to re-tell the whole talk as Harris gave it. For one thing, I would probably get some stuff wrong and embarrass myself. I would like to give a few highlights, however.

As in the play, Harris started her story before the workers actually walked off the job and the strike began. Little Falls was a manufacturing hub that was growing too fast for its own good. Soon Little Falls could beat New York City for bad tenements.

The people in the tenements were not complaining, but some attention was being paid. The Fortnightly Club, a group of civic-minded ladies further up the economic ladder, hired a contagion nurse to try to address the growing epidemic of tuberculosis. That was my part in the play.

Harris also talked about the Bread and Roses Strike in Lawrence, MA, which was remembered for its violence. That strike came before the one in Little Falls, and some of the Little Falls organizers tried to do some of the same things those strikers did.

Another new thing I learned was that there were Shoddy Mills, which got the cast offs from the other mills. That was where we get the term “shoddy workmanship.” I always like to hear about word origins.

We really enjoyed the talk. I asked Angela if she was writing any more plays. I should have asked if she intended to write a book about the strike. I’d buy that book. Maybe she could have a book signing at the Historical Society.

More Musings on the Muse

It’s not exactly Writer’s Blank, because I can think of words I might write down. Could this be Writer’s Block?

I’ve discussed the inability to write before. Some writers (and MANY non-writers) scorn such an idea. If we’re not writing, they say, we must be self-dramatizing slackers. The rest of us explain, “Shut up.”

Welcome to Wrist to Forehead Monday.

I know that just last week I wrote a post about not being able to write (the irony was not lost on me) (In fact, I wrote a half page on my novel today before turning my attention to the blog) (so you see). Can I think of something new and different to say on the subject, in order to justify another nothing post?

I’m thinking I probably can. I have an almost endless fascination with reading about writing. It is a well-known saw in the writing lexicon: Write what you like to read.

I’m also thinking, Why am I justifying anything? I write what I write. People can read it or not.

But let’s back it up even further. Why do I disparage these as “nothing” posts? I sometimes get a lot of “Likes” from fellow bloggers on my posts about the tribulations of the writing life. I like to think it is because my fellow bloggers also struggle with our avocation.

That is as far as I wrote while at work today (I really feel I need to keep saying on a break, OF COURSE) (not that I think my boss reads blogs). While working and pondering my post, I remembered: It’s Middle-aged Musings Monday! I don’t have to apologize for anything! So I slap a title on my verbal meanderings and hit Publish.

I’ll try to get back to Mohawk Valley adventures tomorrow.

One further note: the expression we explain, shut up, is a reference to S.J. Perelman, a writer of some note from the previous century.

A Gem of a Band

Last Saturday my husband Steven had an early shift at work. When I mentioned to him a jazz band would be playing at Gems Along the Mohawk and it was free, our plans were made.

Gems Along the Mohawk is located at 800 Mohawk St. in Herkimer, NY. It boasts retail shops, a fancy restaurant (The Waterfront Grille) and Erie Canal cruises. Most recently they added a pavilion. This is where the band, Blues Maneuver, was playing.

We started to hear the band as we walked to the far side of the building, and we were immediately glad we came. They play a mix of music, including jazz, swing, Motown and Cajun (at least, I think it’s called Cajun; I recognized one of the songs from the soundtrack of The Big Easy, a movie that takes place in New Orleans) (yes, showing my musical ignorance; really I’m quite disgraceful).

The band is such fun to watch, because the members are so obviously enjoying what they do. The pavilion area is not too large; we were able to sit fairly close. We luckily found a tiny bit of shade. It was quite a sunny day.

Another improvement on Gems Along the Mohawk was renovations in a second building, located next to the shops and restaurant. We’ve noticed that building before, looking rather disreputable. Now it is in beautiful shape.

When the sunlight started to get to me too much, we went inside and looked at the retail shops. The sign says “Retail Shops,” but it is really one big room with a lot of little areas, representing many local and area attractions. I found some postcards of the Lil Diamond Cruises. Must go on one of those soon.

After that we were a little peckish so went into The Waterfront Grille for a snack. Sitting at the bar we could still hear the band, although we couldn’t see them any more. I made a note of their name and when we got home immediately Liked them on Facebook.

The Blues Maneuver Band (that’s how they’re listed on Facebook) also have a website, http://www.bluesmaneuverband.com/. I hope to hear them play again soon.

First Summer Run

I hope it’s not too soon for another running post, but after all, Saturday Running Commentary.

The hot weather arrived just barely in time for summer in the Mohawk Valley, so I sensibly got out early. It’s a good time to run anyways, because of less traffic. I hoped it would be an enjoyable run, especially since I spent a good portion of yesterday feeling quite awful. I had high hopes.

It seemed to go pretty well. I almost didn’t run any hills but decided I could handle the one out Main Street. Well, that part wasn’t much fun. At one point I could have stayed sedately on the left side facing traffic, made a 90 degree turn at the proper place and continued on the left side of the street. Instead I cut across the center of the intersection, feeling like quite the rebel. In my defense, there were no cars in sight or hearing.

I passed the house where I’ve seen — and pretended not to see — the lady in her nightgown letting her dog out. Neither she nor the dog were in evidence, so I took the opportunity to admire her black wrought iron lawn furniture. Not so comfy to sit it but oh so decorative, especially with a pot of red flowers on the table.

As I ran down the hill back to civilization, I heard a vehicle behind me. I wasn’t worried, because I was left side facing traffic this time. He would be on the OTHER side of the road. Well, that (insert bad word of your choice) in a pick-up truck (to add insult to injury; I love pick-up trucks) was straddling the center line! What was his excuse for that! Early though it was, I thought it was a little late for him to be still drunk from partying last night. Then again, what do I know?

Back in the village proper I stuck to residential streets with sidewalks. Plenty of four way stops when I had to cross a street, but not much traffic anyways. When I went to cross Prospect, I started to slow down to let a car at the stop sign go, but the lady waved me on. I gave the thank-you wave and hurried across.

“You go, girlfriend!” yelled the lady in the car. I think I recognized the voice as a lady from Curves, but I kept running so did not check.

When I got closer to home I saw Nicky, one of my canine friends, out walking with his person. I picked up the pace and crossed the street.

“I have to pet Nicky,” I said. “He’s such a good dog.”

“How’s your dog?” asked his person.

“Oh, she’s a sweetie. I’ll be taking her for a walk in a bit.”

“Before it gets too hot,” she said.

I agreed and ran on. Tabby was happy to accompany me on my cool-down walk. I felt terrific. I think I sweated out all of yesterday’s light-headedness. If only I don’t get another sinus headache as the day wears on, my life will be perfect.

As Lame as the Nose on my Face

I know I said on Wuss Out Wednesday I might not have a Lame Post Friday this week. I’m thinking nobody really took that thought seriously. It is Lame Post Friday, and here I go with random observations and half-baked philosophy.

My first observation, and you may judge its random qualities for yourself, is that I am a terrible kvetch. Seriously, I complain all the time. In my defense, I’ve heard that the more you complain, the longer God lets you live. Or, as Rosanne Rosannadanna said, it’s always something (at least, I think Rosanne Rosannadanna said it. It was some Gilda Radner character; I never watched much Saturday Night Live) (oh dear, is that one of the things I should never admit about myself?).

Where was I? Nowhere in particular. Trying not to complain so much. Today at work I realized I was doing it and tried to stop, with indifferent success. Toward the end of the day I thought I achieved a happy medium. I said, “You know, I don’t think I should have taken both the decongestant and the headache medicine. On the brighter side, I don’t have a headache and my nose isn’t stuffed up.”

You see, I looked on the bright side, so I thought that was a step in the right direction (that must qualify as half-baked philosophy). A co-worker said it was good if my nose wasn’t running, because I would have to go catch it.

“I would just let it go,” I admitted. This is what mixing medications does to you. I spent the rest of the day wondering what I might say to someone who then said to me, “Well, it’s as plain as the nose on your face.”

Any suggestions?

Practically the Middle of the Night

I know I’ve used the headline “Running in the Dark” before, which is too bad, because it’s what I did this morning, and I thought I’d write a blog post about it.

I haven’t been getting any overtime at work lately, which means I get up at a perfectly human 5 a.m. instead of 3:30. This morning, however (Thursday), my husband Steven pulled a 6 a.m. shift, which meant he wanted to get up at four. I’ve been trying to run either Tuesday or Thursday (I do Curves Monday, Wednesday and Friday) (yes, yes, I KNOW I ought to run Tuesday, Thursday and at least a couple of Curves days; what kind of miracles of dedication do you want from me?). It was supposed to be hot on Thursday, plus we had a Mohawk Valley adventure planned.

Still, I can’t say it was a no-brainer to go running in the morning, because I actually expended quite a bit of thought on my plan. I would sneak out of bed at 3:30, leaving Steven and Tabby (our dog) (I add for the benefit of newcomers, if any) to sleep on. When I returned from running to take Tabby on my cool-down walk, that would be Steven’s 4 a.m. wake up call. Perfect!

The first thing I realized on stepping out the door was that it was cold. However, I was sure this was a relative feeling. Once I got going, I’d be fine. After all, earlier in the spring I opt for shorts and short sleeves as soon as it hits 40. This was probably somewhere in the 50s.

As I started down the sidewalk, I realized something else. 3:30 a.m. is still, for all intents and purposes, the middle of the night. What was I doing running in the middle of the night? It’s scary to run in the middle of the night! I told myself there was nothing to be afraid of, and I’m pretty sure I was right. I would stick to well-lighted streets with plenty of respectable-looking houses.

I started looking around for lights on, just to feel less lonely. After all, some people have to get up at ungodly hours (like those lucky punks at my job that are getting overtime). There was a light. Probably only somebody’s bathroom light left on all night, I thought, discouraged.

Then I remembered something I read years ago in The Autobiography of Malcolm X. It was when he was making a disreputable living breaking into houses. He said if you’re going to leave one light on all night to discourage burglars, make it the bathroom light. After all, at any point in the night somebody might possibly be up to visit the bathroom. I wondered how a burglar would know which room was the bathroom. Then I figured he had probably cased the joint.

Thinking about hypothetical burglars kept me occupied for a couple of blocks. I continued to look for lights. There was a television. That could be up early or insomnia. I almost never get out of bed when I have insomnia, although I sometimes turn on the light and read a book. A flashlight is better, because it’s not too much light. Light wakes you up, and that doesn’t really help insomnia.

I tried not to think about how early it was. I felt a little sad when I realized the sun was not going to come up while I ran. I heard a bird. That made me feel a little better.

I ended up being really happy I ran. For one thing, I felt certain I could get a a blog post out of looking for lights and that reference to Malcolm X.

What Makes a “Real” Post Anyways?

Having done two “real” blog posts in a row and having at least two more pretty good topics to work with, I just sat here staring at a blank piece of paper and thinking in a vague sort of way about pulling out a book to read. What’s that all about?

I’ve been busily working on my novel and writing blog posts for a number of days now (14, if I’m counting correctly) (um, that is to say, 14 on the novel. I would need to go back and look at the posts to see how many stupid ones were included) (but you see my point).

Where was I? Ah yes, when the writing is going well, you think it is never going to end. “Ah, I’ve got it now,” you say. “Obviously this is the secret: JUST KEEP WRITING. Why didn’t I think of that before?”

And then, of course, it ends.

That was when my break ended. I spent the time till the next break (my job gives me lots of opportunity to think) reflecting on how I can always seem to write about not writing. I spent the next two breaks working on my novel, thus rendering another post on Not Being Able to Write a little hypocritical, to say the least.

I can hear one of you now saying, “So just write your blog post now, what’s the problem?” Well, that’s what I’m doing! I declare today Wuss Out Wednesday. I don’t have too many of those, and I may not have a Lame Post Friday this week, because I have an awesome Mohawk Valley adventure planned for tomorrow (preview of coming attractions).

My only sticky wicket now to how to avoid making tomorrow another Non-Sequitur Thursday. After all, can’t do too many of these silly posts.

Jail Visit

I left the Herkimer County Historical Society and went to the opposite of the Historic Four Corners, the 1834 Jail. The Jail is not open for tours on a regular basis, so one must seize the opportunity when it is available.

I joined a tour already in progress, but I had not missed much. Jim Greiner was the guide. He wrote the book Last Woman Hanged: Roxalana Druse, about one of the Jail’s most famous inmates. I’ve read the book and heard Greiner speak about it. It’s an excellent book, and he is a dynamic speaker. He is an entertaining tour guide as well, knowledgeable and enthusiastic.

I toured the Jail last year on Museum Day (and wrote a blog post about it). There was not a huge difference in restoration from last year, although the Friends of the 1834 Jail have accomplished a lot since the time they started. Money, as always, is the problem. They are not eligible for many grants, because the Jail can never be fully handicap accessible.

I enjoyed seeing once again the cell which held Chester Gilette, the Jail’s other famous inmate. I was once again sorry we could not go up to the third floor, where Roxalana Druse was housed.

Everybody on the tour seemed to enjoy it as much as I did. One fellow mentioned a murderer from the 1960s who had probably stayed in the Jail. Apparently the guy shot a girl in the Frankfort Police Station. I hope somebody writes a book about that one, if nobody has already. I highly recommended Last Woman Hanged to a lady, but I did not see whether she purchased it.

I don’t know when the 1834 Jail will hold another event, but I certainly intend to watch for it. I may even join Friends of the 1834 Jail and try to help them raise funds. Maybe eventually I’ll get a look at that mysterious third floor.