Tag Archives: lame post

Lame Excuse, and It’s Not Even Friday!

Posted on April 9, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

So I found out that if I go two days without making a blog post, the world does not come to an end. Well, we knew that, and anyways it is a cliche. My brain is not firing on all cylinders (cue unkind remarks about my brain’s general lack of cylindrical capacity).

My laptop clicked off as I typed that last sentence. My husband, Steven, never has any problems like that. He gets on and the computer stays on as long as he likes. It must be operator error, but I’m damned if I know what I’m doing wrong. But I digress.

Digress from what, I ask myself. I got up early to make a blog post but I have no idea what to write about and, as I said, very little brain to write it with. I’ll just mention that it was not a problem to get up early since I went to bed practically as soon as I got home yesterday afternoon. Actually, I ate something, took a nap, got up and took a hot, hot shower with the water pounding on the back of my neck (it felt GOOOOD!), and got dressed for rehearsal. Then I realized I could not possibly drag myself to rehearsal, much less actually rehearse. I emailed a lame excuse to the director and stage manager, and went back to bed. I think it helped.

And the computer clicked off again, just as I typed in that last sentence and was composing the next one in my head. I was about to say and now I am offering a lame excuse to my blog readers. By my new rules for myself, I must make two posts on two days now, and then I will be caught up again. I hope my brain returns soon.

2 Comments

Posted in blogging, humor, personal and tagged blog post, bloggers sick day, blogging, headache, health, lame excuse, lame post, not writing, rehearsal, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

A Labor of Lame

Posted on April 6, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I have about 12 minutes to make a blog post before the next episode of Dateline: Secrets Uncovered on Oxygen. I want to sit on my couch and knit! But I do not want to make this post tomorrow morning. I want to make it now. So here I am. I originally wanted to have a blog to get myself to write every day. Alas, as Truman Capote once said, “That’s not writing, that’s typing.” I have applied that quote to this blog before.

I just got back from the last rehearsal for Murder by the Book, the murder mystery we are doing tomorrow at Morning Star Methodist Church in Ilion, NY (see Wednesday’s post for more information). Last night I had rehearsal for Morning’s at Seven, the full-length play I am in at Ilion Little Theatre. I have had rehearsal for one or the other all week, feeling grateful that I did not have any days of two rehearsals (but only because Monday’s second rehearsal got cancelled). I am rehearsaled out! I know, I know, that should be “rehearsed out.” Sometimes the grammatically correct expression just doesn’t feel right (feel write?).

Have I mentioned yet that today is Lame Post Friday? Or did you perhaps catch on by the title? And I see I am over 200 words, just in the introductory paragraphs. Do I dare hit Publish on this meager nonsense? YES! Happy Friday, folks! Let’s all hope for a better post on Saturday.

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, Lame Post Friday, personal and tagged blog post, blogging, lame post, nonsense, not writing, rehearsal, theatre, tired, Truman Capote, typing, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

William Castle, Can You Help Me Now?

Posted on April 5, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

So there I was, groping for a brain cell left alive in my head to make at least a Non-Sequitur Thursday post. Nothing was happening. In desperation I went to Facebook to a page about William Castle: Godfather of Schlock and downloaded a few pictures. This could work.

“What do you mean, you can’t of a blog post? That’s scary!”

I love William Castle, producer of such classics of House on Haunted Hill (1959) and Straitjacket (1964). I wonder when I will have time to sit down and watch movies again. I have rehearsal again tonight. In fact, I should probably be studying my lines instead of typing in what I am afraid is turning out to be a singularly foolish blog post.

“Who wants a piece?”

Maybe I could just relax and have a piece of cake. Nah, that would mess up my slow progress toward my weight-loss goals. If I could get somebody to chase me with an axe, I would be motivated to start running again. Just a suggestion.

He was a great director.

Full disclosure: I have not seen all that many William Castle movies. I’ll have to work on it.

“You weren’t going to make a post about William Castle and not include me, were you?”

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, Non Sequitur Thursday, personal and tagged blog post, blogging, cheesy horror movies, entertainment, foolish post, House on Haunted Hill, Joan Crawford, lame post, Straitjacket, Vincent Price, William Castle. Bookmark the permalink.

It Will Probably Be a Monstrous Monday

Posted on April 1, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

Here’s a funny thing: in the past I have been posting at 4:30(ish) in the morning because I am posting late for the day before. Today I am posting early for TODAY! I call that progress. You see, I got up early for a different reason (not worth recounting), so I have a few minutes extra time, which I will not have tonight, so…

Still, this isn’t going to be much of a post. I cannot completely disrupt my morning routine, or this will be an even more Monstrous Monday than usual. I don’t even know how far down my Media Library I will scroll to find a few monster pictures to post. Lame Post Monday? Let’s not call it that; it only reminds me how far away Friday seems (which is not a completely bad thing, since I have a murder mystery on Saturday I am still getting ready for).

“You’re just getting up? It’s almost my bedtime!”

I’m thinking vampires hate summer, because they must spend more time hiding from the sun. Then again, maybe they like the extra sleep. I do not purport to know how a vampire feels, although I do not rule out guessing for the sake of fiction.

“Put my head back, you monster!”

Not exactly a monster, but two horror movie icons, Peter Lorre and Vincent Price (yes, I know I did not need to tell some of you). It is an appropriate picture for me, because this week I may be running around like the proverbial chicken with its head cut off (writer’s trick: you can use a cliche if you insert the words “the proverbial” in there; it’s kind of like “sic” but more hip) (or do I flatter myself?).

I know just how he feels. Come to think of it, I know pretty much how she feels, too.

A splash of color and a big ape to close this week’s Monstrous Monday post. I gotta run now; I’m missing my Local on the Ones. I feel more secure once I’ve heard the weather report.

2 Comments

Posted in humor, Monstrous Monday, personal and tagged blog post, blogging, busy, King Kong, lame post, late post, Monday, monsters, movies, Nosferatu, not writing, Peter Lorre, Vincent Price, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

8 O’Clock Lame

Posted on March 30, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

One morning, back in the early 1990s, when Steven’ and my coffee was brewing, I whined that I wanted a cup before the pot was finished. Steven cleverly took his cup, pulled out the pot and put the cup in its place, poured my coffee, and switched the pot and cup back.

“We have a fancy coffee maker,” he explained.

Funny thing: since then, we have had many fancy coffee makers with the feature that you can pullout the pot while it’s still brewing, and every damn one of them drops at least a drip when you do it that way. Steven didn’t lose a dropped drip when he did his fancy thing. There’s a lesson there, but I have not imbibed sufficient caffeine to express it properly.

I share this silly story, because I just poured myself a cup of coffee when the pot was still mid-brew, and, yes, it dripped a drop. The other reason is that I am trying to distract from the fact that this is my Lame Post Friday post, and it is almost 8 o’cock on Saturday morning (ooh, we should be drinking 8 O’Clock Coffee, Steven’s mother’s favorite, back in the day).

One other note: It was not Barefoot Pinot Noir I purchased at Ilion Wine and Spirits on Thursday; it was Woodbridge Cabernet Sauvignon. I do not know how I came to make that mistake, but I realized it only when I went to open said bottle and pour myself a glass on Friday (what? I can’t have a glass of wine on a Friday? What is this world coming to?).

So now I am over 250 words. I’ll try to make my Saturday post on Saturday, but no promises.

4 Comments

Posted in humor, Lame Post Friday, personal and tagged blog post, blogging, coffee, fancy coffee maker, husband Steven, lame post, late 1990s, late post. Bookmark the permalink.

Joan Crawford Had Nothing To Do With It

Posted on March 29, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I feel that I have a good excuse for making my Non-Sequitur Thursday post on Friday morning, and it’s not just, you know, non-sequitur. I was late getting home, because I made three stops, then I had two rehearsals starting at 5 p.m. So here is a Non-Sequitur Shout-Out post, because, as regular readers know, Mohawk Valley Girl loves local businesses.

First I had to pick up a prescription at the Medicine Shoppe in Ilion. They are so nice there, and it is the sort of place where they recognize regular customers. That stop did not take long. Right across from the parking lot are Ilion Wine and Spirits. I like to support them, because, in addition to being nice and a good liquor store, they support Ilion Little Theatre (where both my rehearsals were, incidentally). Unfortunately, I did not have anything particular in mind so spent a few minutes wandering around before settling on a bottle of Barefoot Pinot Noir, a favorite of mine. Then I stopped into Honey Brook Hobbies to get a treat for my husband. I easily picked out a brownie with mini chocolate chips on top. I did NOT purchase one for myself, nor yet did I ask Steve for a bite. Weight-loss goals, here I come!

I should perhaps mention that this will be another hasty post, because I have to sit, drink coffee, watch the news, and play solitaire before I have to get ready for work. Otherwise I shall feel too flustered and be a danger to myself an others (that last was a self-dramatizing exaggeration, so don’t shake your finger at me) (you know who you are) (don’t shake your head either, although you may feel free to shake your bootie, I don’t mind that on a Friday) (oops, I just pointed out again that I am making my Thursday post late) (once again, I’d better quit while I’m ahead, if in fact I am).

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, Non Sequitur Thursday, personal and tagged blog post, blogging, Honey Brook Hobbies, Ilion Little Theatre, Ilion NY, Ilion Wine and Spirits, lame post, late post, local business, parenthetical comments, post in haste, rehearal, The Medicine Shoppe Ilion, theatre, weight loss goals. Bookmark the permalink.

In Search of Oomph

Posted on March 27, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I am back to last week’s malady: posting the next morning for the day before. I just couldn’t make myself do it. Full disclosure: I did not try very hard. Let us not delve into the sordid reasons why I was having a Bad Attituesday (OK, they were not exactly sordid, but I felt the need to be dramatic just then) (regular readers will understand) (did you notice how I refrained from calling you Shirley? That was what I first typed in) (I don’t have to explain that joke, do I?) (but I digress).

So I guess this is going to be a post with lots of parenthetical comments, to disguise the fact that, as usual, I got nuthin’. In fact, I had a few things I could type about yesterday, but, as I mentioned, I lacked the oomph. I think that is one thing writers need above all other things: Oomph. Where exactly does one get oomph?

Ah yes, I was afraid somebody would say that it comes from within. I have known for years that motivation follows action. You can sit there and say, “I just don’t feel like it,” or you can start to do whatever “it” is, and soon you will feel motivated to continue. Well, if that magic formula worked every time, we would not continue to feel so discouraged when we just didn’t feel like doing it, now, would we? Because it cannot be denied that it does not always work.

However, today it seems to be working out just fine for me. Here I am over 250 words. It could be the addition of coffee that is responsible. Or it could be that these are, I admit it, not particularly inspired words. I was going to say “interesting,” but how do I know what other people are interested in? To each his own, as the old lady said when she kissed the cow. If you have read thus far, thank you for playing. I hope you’ll tune in later today for what might turn out to be yet another Wuss-out Wednesday Post.

2 Comments

Posted in humor, blogging, personal, Bad Attituesday and tagged lame post, writing, blogging, not writing, oomph, blog post, motivation, late post. Bookmark the permalink.

Look, Everybody: Thursday’s Post ON Thursday!

Posted on March 22, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

So what is it with me? Last night I stared at a blank WordPress Add New Post screen and my whole body said, “No.” This morning it said nothing: all was blank. I managed to type something so, yay, me, I guess (perhaps you read it, if so, thank you and sorry). Right now I am sitting at a break table in my place of employment and the blank page of my notebook stared at me accusingly, still I started writing in it (this nonsense which I now type into the blank WordPress Add New Post screen; I feel quite self-referential).

My script for Morning’s at Seven (you may remember, the play I’m in at Ilion Little Theatre) is mocking me: “You’ll never learn these lines!” Well, I can ignore the script, at least. My brain has never failed me in that way. Knock wood. At least, I can’t ignore the script if I am going to learn my lines, but I can ignore the mocking.

I thought I might write about how I got myself into this mess, but the more I think about it, the more I think that it really does not put me in a good light. Apparently it is possible to reach middle age (if in fact I live to be 110) and still not know how to manage one’s time. Can an old drama queen learn new tricks? I hope so.

In the meantime, I have got to stop making these blog posts in which I meander on about how I can’t make a blog post, I have to much to do, etc. etc. I don’t now how soon I can get to that. After all, tomorrow is Lame Post Friday, and thank God for that! However, I am typing in Thursday’s post ON Thursday (at least according to my watch if not my WordPress timestamp), so perhaps I am showing signs of improvement. As always, thank you for playing.

2 Comments

Posted in blogging, humor, personal and tagged blog post, blogging, Ilion Little Theatre, lame post, Mornings at Seven, not writing, theatre, tired, too much to do, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

Not a Timely Post

Posted on March 21, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I have wussed out on Wednesday to this extent before, but let’s not talk about that. I guess all my posts this week are going to be I Missed Posting on the Day, So Here’s a Late Post. Can I break the pattern? Time will tell. Time is certainly a blabbermouth. That is a joke I like to make. My sister Diane says, “Time is relative. Not our relative. But I digress.

At first I made those jokes in parentheses, but then I thought of the headline and brought them out into the main text. I wonder if the words feel better out in the open or safer in the parentheses? Yes, I anthropomorphize almost anything. But with words, I am not the first. I distinctly remember in Alice in Wonderland (which I read more than once as a child, although I refused to watch the movie in later years) the Caterpillar misusing a word and saying, “When I used a word, it means when I pay it to mean!” That may not be the exact quote, but he goes on to speak fondly about how they all eagerly await their wages on payday.

Well, now I’m talking about time AND Alice in Wonderland (which I ought to read again; perhaps I could find the annotated version), the the headline is less apt. Then again, I’m posting Wuss-out Wednesday at 4:30 on Non-Sequitur Thursday morning. I say it’ll do. Will I break the late post curse? I hope you’ll stay tuned to find out.

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, personal, Wuss Out Wednesday and tagged Alice in Wonderland, blog post, blogging, books, lame post, late post, not writing, sister Diane, time, words, writing, Wuss out Wednesday. Bookmark the permalink.

Tardy Tired Tuesday

Posted on March 20, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I knew yesterday morning I would be late for this post, and when I thought of this title, I didn’t mind so much. Anyways, I mean to make Wednesday’s post today, on Wednesday, by my clock if not by my WordPress timestamp (why does my computer not recognize “WordPress” as a word? According to the website, it powers a good percentage of the internet) (but I digress).

I had two rehearsals last night so left the house prior to 5 p.m. I might have been able to type in something, but I felt too flustered. I left my second rehearsal early, because I was feeling ill so went to bed without getting on the computer at all. I am still not feeling 100 percent, so we can call this a blogger’s sick day as well. Tomorrow I have two rehearsals again. Oh dear.

One might be tempted to point out to me that I am too old to burn the candle at both ends. Well, the joke’s on that know-it-all, because I could NEVER burn the candle at both ends. Oh, I’ve tried. I’ve always tried. There are just so many good things to do sometimes! Additionally, one must work for a living, overtime if possible, because, you know, money (not that I’m one of those money-grubbing individuals, but sometimes a little extra comes in handy) (but, once again, I digress).

I see I am over 200 words. As usual (and how embarrassing that it has become SO usual), I apologize for a foolish post. Undaunted, but feeling a little silly (that is a quote from a friend), I drive on. Happy Tuesday/Wednesday, everyone!

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, personal, Tired Tuesday and tagged blog post, bloggers sick day, blogging, burning the candle at both ends, health, lame post, not writing, rehearsal, theatre, tired, wordpress, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

Tag Archives: lame post

Search

Links