Tag Archives: tired

Overwhelming Temptation

I am going to have a Wuss-out Wednesday and I am not going to apologize.  Maybe I will apologize.  Or maybe it will be too much trouble even to do that.

Oh, quit playing that imaginary violin.  Like you never got tired at the end of a long day!  Get over yourself!  Or don’t get over yourself.  I am trying to avoid telling other people what to do, although one must admit, sometimes the temptation to do so is overwhelming.

I  worked a ten-hour day today, and it was one of those days where the tenth hour was tacked on at the end.  Why is it that so much more tiring than going in two hours instead of one hour early?  That may be a good question for some half-baked philosophy on Lame Post Friday.  Will I even make it to Friday?  I suppose there is no reason to fear I will not, but the temptation to express myself dramatically is sometimes overwhelming.

Leaving work an hour later than usual, I nonetheless headed to the laundromat, something of a nemesis to me these days.  Perhaps I could have gone out and bought new underwear, but I was running out of clean everything else as well.  I started late enough that I was not finished when Steven got home from work.  He called me on my cell phone then drove to Ilion to join me.

Naturally the temptation to send out for food was overwhelming.  Steven called Sorrento’s, which is right across the street from the laundromat.  Unfortunately, we were done folding and our food was going to be 45 minutes.  Now what?  Sorrento’s does not have a bar where we could sit and have a drink while we waited.

“There’s Crossway’s Tavern,” I suggested, not thinking Steven would go for it.  Steven went for it.

As we sat at the bar at Crossways, I said I would write a blog post about it.  However, now that we are home, in our comfy clothes and have eaten,  all I really want to write is a Wuss-out Wednesday.  The temptation to do so is, as you might guess, overwhelming.

 

Thinking about Theatre

The answer to the question, “What was I thinking?” is pretty much always, “You weren’t thinking.  You are a huge idiot and you bring all your troubles on yourself.”  There is something vaguely liberating in the admission.  Or am I just glass-half-fulling?

No matter.  For this week’s Monday Mental Meanderings, I bring you another theatre update.  Are any of my readers tired of hearing about Ilion Little Theatre?  I cannot fathom such a thing.  In any case I am too tired to think of anything else to write about (and it’s not even Tired Tuesday yet. Yikes!).

Yesterday was closing performance of Roxy,  (I think we can say it all together now:) the play presented by Herkimer County Historical Society at Ilion Little Theatre  (ILT).  Naturally we followed up with a cast party.  Oh all right, I may have possibly had just a sip or two more wine than was strictly necessary.  I had a wonderful time with my theatre friends, but I got lousy sleep and I am feeling far from my best this morning.

Now I can hear the unkind laughter.   I assure you, I am laughing at myself at this point.  But why do I feel as if nobody is laughing with me but only at me?  Like you never did anything stupid!

Anyways, that is not what raised the question of what I was thinking, and as always I apologize for going on about my own ills.  On to the theatre update.

Tonight we begin rehearsals for the first official show of the ILT season:  Lunch Hour by Jean Kerr.  It is to be directed by Suzanne Rodio.  I am stage manager.

I realized this morning that if I had thought about it for even a short time, I would not have agreed to such a thing. I’m tired, for heavens’ sake!  I’m not a young woman and I don’t lead nearly as healthy a lifestyle as I ought to.  Suzanne has set an ambitious rehearsal schedule.  I ought to be glad about that, because she is very organized and obviously means this to be a good show that does not have to pull together at the last minute (oh how I hate opening night miracles!) (although I suppose it is even worse when you need one and it doesn’t happen).

Well, just listen to me whine.  What a big, fat baby!  I’m going into a show with a strong script and a good director.  More to the point, I LOVE theatre!  I want to work on a play!

I’m sure I’ll feel better tomorrow, as long as rehearsal doesn’t run late and I get a good night’s sleep.  Here’s to not feeling too tired on Tuesday!

 

Making Time on Monday

Sorry, folks, it’s Wrist to Forehead Monday.  Maybe Tired Monday, although that doesn’t really have a ring to it.  I’m too tired for either Mental Meanderings or Middle-aged Musings.  I have no reason to feel so tired, but there it is.

I think one thing that is making me tired is that I am not writing, and I am damn tired of not being able to write.  All I have written today is less than a page on a letter to a friend.  And I was not particularly witty or interesting on that.  I had some great ideas on how to progress on my novel on Friday but have had no chance so far to implement them.  Oh, I know, real writers make time.

OK, hold it right there. Nobody can MAKE time.  We all have 24 hours in a day.  All the time management in the world will not make it 25 or even 24 hours and 6 minutes.

However, one can TAKE time.  The time you were using to do X can instead be used to do Y.  No, I’m not going to list all the crap I’ve been doing instead of writing, but, yes, it does involve cable television.  I’m fond of saying “don’t judge,” but in this case I’ll say go ahead and judge me, because I have not taken the time to write.

The nice thing about Monday, though, is that is the beginning of the week. I have the whole rest of the week to change my evil ways and write more.  Will I succeed?  You’ll read about it here if I do.  Happy Monday, everyone.

 

Tired from Having a Bad Attitude

So yesterday I was doing really well.  I wrote a real blog post AND I went running.  I thought, this is awesome, because I can write a running commentary for Tuesday’s post.

And then Tuesday happened.

Nothing really bad happened, but I got a really bad attitude nonetheless.  I did not get any writing done, because I was studying my lines for Roxy, the play I am in (which I believe I have mentioned before).  Full disclosure:  I also worked on a few cryptogram puzzles.  I thought it would make my mind more supple.  Did it work?  Well, who can tell how much MORE un-supple my mind would have been otherwise.  So difficult to have a control in these experiments.

So there I was, partway through my day and I knew it was Bad Attituesday.  A lot of other people at work had bad attitudes.  I didn’t worry about them and they didn’t worry about me.  Then I got home (an hour later than expected, by the way, but never mind THAT dull story) and tried to get all my stuff done before rehearsal.

Of course my most important chore of the evening was this blog post.  As I sat down to write it, my bad attitude had faded somewhat.   Unfortunately, it was not replaced by any notable ability to write anything decent.  I’m TIRED!  As I struggle to stay awake enough to write some semblance of a blog post, I worry how I will stay alert for rehearsal.  Oh, I’m afraid this is another Tired Tuesday.

Hey, I just realized something:  on Mondays I have either Middle-aged Musings Monday or Mental Meanderings Monday.  Tuesdays can be either Tired Tuesday or Bad Attituesday.  How clever I have become at thinking up things to write other than a regular blog post.  I’ll have to see what I can do about that.

Just as soon as I learn all my lines for that play.

News Flash! As I was adding the categories for this post, I noticed Tasty Tuesday.  I don’t remember having anything called Tasty Tuesday!  What a brilliant idea!  Next Tuesday I will be sure to eat something delicious, and that is what I will write about.

 

Slack Sunday

The weather continues hot, I continue tired, and the blog posts continue foolish.

Welcome to Wrist to Forehead Sunday!

I suppose you all think I’m hungover from partying too heartily last night.  I’m actually mostly tired.  My head doesn’t hurt, my stomach’s not upset.  I just can’t seem to write.  This has been an ongoing problem with me, as I believe my foolish  blog posts have shown.

Earlier in the week, I had some glimmers of hope when  I wrote a whole other page on a post I could not complete previously.  I think it’s going to be a really good post.  If I can ever finish it.  I have a draft saved of a post I started to write week before last.  I tried to finish that one, too.  I couldn’t do it, because I can’t find a way to describe the restaurant it was about, and it just seemed wrong to write the post without it.  On Thursday, Steven and I went for dinner at Crazy Otto’s Empire Diner.  Surely that should be a bloggable activity.  Yet, I felt I could not think of anything new to say about Crazy Otto’s.

Writing isn’t the only thing I have been slacking on.  I also have not been running.  Shall I blame the weather for that too?  No doubt it is a factor.  However, other people manage to run. I daresay I could too.

So here is my ambition:  I will write a real blog post tomorrow, and I will go running after work. One minor caveat:  if we finally get the thunderstorms they have been promising us, I will run in place on the mini-tramp.  I’m going to hit Publish on this and just put it out there.  This is Mohawk Valley Girl, turning over a new leaf.

But today I am still going to slack.

This is Not What I Wrote on Break at Work

Oh this is dreadful.  I was so determined NOT to have a Wuss-out Wednesday.  I brought all my notes and fliers from the weekend’s adventures to work with me.  When it was break time I opened my notebook and started writing!

Well, first I couldn’t settle on a lead.  That shouldn’t matter, I told myself.  Just write something, anything.  You can always edit later.  I wrote a sentence.  Crossed it out.  Wrote another sentence.  Crossed it out.  Consulted my notes.  Realized I had left at least one flier at home.  Sat with my pen poised over the notebook till the buzzer rang and I had to go back to work.

During a ten minute break, by the way, I had worked on, I think, three potential blog posts and one article for Mohawk Valley Living magazine.  If anyone is gearing up to lecture me on focus, just give it a rest.  I gotta be me.

Back at work, I pondered my dilemma.  I picked one topic I thought I could get written.  I considered the different things I could write about it.  I went to lunch, opened my notebook, picked up my pen, and started writing.

I got almost a whole page done.  Aaahh.  I didn’t hate it.  I barely crossed anything out.   I was following my notes and adding insights and observations.  I could so write!  This was going to be just fine, a perfectly acceptable blog post.

And then the whole thing just  kind of petered out.  I was maybe a quarter of the way through my notes.  I reminded myself that I did not have to use ALL my notes.  But how many notes should I use?  Had I used the notes I’d used so far to best advantage?  Was this really anything anybody would want to read?

I know, this is inner critic carping that one must tune out while in the throes of composition.  The problem is, the bitch had a point.  What I had written may indeed have been perfectly acceptable, but I could do better.  It was almost the end of lunch time anyways.  I could fix everything later.

Who knew I would be so tired after work?  Oh, I know YOU probably did (you know who you are).  For heaven’s sake, three ten-hour days, two rehearsals, not a lot of sleep, swelteringly hot, humid weather.  AND NO, I AM NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT THE HEAT, I AM MERELY POINTING OUT THE FACT THAT IT MAKES ME TIRED!!!  Jeezum.

On the brighter side, some readers enjoy posts about the writing process.  I myself often enjoy reading what other bloggers have to say on the subject.  On the even brighter side, I still have the stuff I wrote today.  I can look it over and edit, add, polish etc, tomorrow.  And I don’t have rehearsal tonight.  I can go to bed early.

I hope you are all having a stellar mid-week.

 

Actually, I Prefer Paul Verhoeven

I said to my husband Steven, “I can’t have a Non-Sequitur Thursday after I had a Tired Tuesday AND  a Wuss-out Wednesday.”  And he said, “They expect if of you by now,” quickly adding, “in a good way.”

On overtime.  In a play.  Having wine on the deck right now.  Have to go to dinner or stay here and cook something before getting to bed early for more overtime tomorrow… Yeah, I’m going to make another silly post.

I really do love writing a blog.  I love trying to come up with something every day.  I sadly cannot say “something different,” because sometimes I fear I am depressingly the same.  “I can’t write anything today!”  or “I must write a silly post today”  or… you know all my variations on a theme (perhaps that would have been a good title, but then it wouldn’t have been Non-Sequitur Thursday).

One reason we sat out on the deck drinking wine is that we were waiting for a friend to come over and borrow an army thing of mine.  I hope he does not mind my mentioning that. I thought I would bring it up for the sake of plugging his blog, The Dorky Daddy.  I really like that blog.

Speaking of liking blogs, I was going to write a post titled, “So Many Blogs, So Little Time,” because I don’t always have time to read all the blogs I follow or even check out other blogs who have Liked or Followed me.  Sorry, fellow bloggers!  I’ll try to do better!

In the meantime, Happy Thursday, everyone. And I believe we are going OUT for dinner.  I may even have another glass of wine.

 

Wednesday with Quentin Tarantino

Wuss-out Wednesday follows Tired Tuesday when one is on overtime and in a play.  I do love the overtime. For one reason, it gives me a good excuse to slack on everything else.  Uh, I mean, it gives me a chance to further my career, make a contribution in the workplace and… oh hell, nobody’s a good enough actor to sell that line of bologna.  I’m sure you’ll believe I can use the extra cash, but it is vulgar to brag about one’s income (especially when it’s really nothing to brag about) (so don’t bother hitting me up for a loan) (you know who you are).

Where was I?  Ah yes,  striving to post something, anything before going to rehearsal.  At last night’s rehearsal I showed that although I know my lines, I do not know my blocking (that’s moving where you’re supposed to be when you’re supposed to be there, for you non-theatre folks) (and for any pedantic theatre folks who want to correct my definition, oh just give it a rest!).

In my defense,  it is kind of a complicated play.  There are flashbacks AND re-enactments.  I think it’s a little bit like a Quentin Tarantino movie.  I can’t even add “but without all the violence,” because my character chops off her husband’s head (that’s not a spoiler; everybody knows that about Roxalana Druse).

I studied my lines again today while on breaks at work (I know, I should have been writing my blog post; one can’t do everything, after all).  I even said them to myself while I was working.  Luckily, my job is not one where I deal with the public.  I don’t think my co-workers were particularly disconcerted.  After all, they’re used to me.

Right now I’m as tired as I was on Tuesday with rehearsal tonight and more overtime tomorrow.  But that is OK, because the show must go on!  Tired is not too great a price to pay for stardom!  Or even for having fun being in a community theatre play.

 

World’s Dumbest Monday

Note to self: If you foolishly decide to run the Boilermaker 15K again, be smart enough to take the NEXT DAY OFF.  It was not such a bad day, but oh, it was long, oh, I was tired, and, oh, I do not feel like writing a blog post right now.  I know, what a kvetch. I should get over myself.

In fact, I did write something while at work.  I don’t feel like typing it in (too long, needs editing).   I got two paragraphs typed in before I petered out.  I’ll finish it tomorrow or Wednesday.  Unless I go running on those days and write running commentaries.   After all, a good run might help my aching legs, then I wouldn’t complain so much.

In the meantime, I would like to post something so I can go back to watchingWorld’s Dumbest on TruTV and enjoying the evening with my husband  (you see what I did with that headline:  I’m watching World’s Dumbest and I’m apologizing because today’s post is kind of dumb).  What to write?  What to write?  What to write?

It was my first day back at work after two weeks off.  I’m going to just go ahead and confess, I did not get much writing done during my time off.  How embarrassing is that?  I have to wonder, is this one reason I’m having such trouble today?  I often observe, writing begets writing.  Maybe I just have not been writing enough.

Ah, but the thought brings me a frisson of hope. Perhaps by writing this blog post, dumb as it may be, I will gain some momentum and write something else.   Maybe after a good night’s sleep and something for my aching middle-aged muscles.

 

 

Better Luck Next Tired

Full disclosure:  I did not intend to do a running commentary today.  I wrote a blog post while on breaks at work.  Unfortunately, it is too long for me to type in tonight.  Give me a break, it’s Tired Tuesday!  Could it be I am tired because I ran?  No!  I was tired to begin with.  I invite you to read on…

I spent the last couple of  hours at work telling myself that it was a VERY GOOD IDEA that I go running.  Actually, I was thinking things like, “I must, I positively must run”  and “I have to run tonight, I HAVE to.”  I re-phrased it to “very good idea” in order to short circuit my naturally rebellious nature.  Still, when it poured rain for a short time, I had a moment of hope that I would be off the hook. Only a moment, though.  In the first place, I figured it would stop raining.  In the second place, I have a mini-tramp on which I can run in place during inclement weather.

The rain stopped after a very short time.  It was sunny and breezy by the time I headed home.  Steven was already there.

“A  twenty minute  run will be sufficient for my purposes today,” I said.  I had hopes that I would run for longer once I got going, but it is difficult to predict these things.

To begin with the run was not much fun.  The sun was hot, I knew that going in.  The cooling breeze blew up into a strong wind that was dead against me.  What was that all about? Never mind, I told myself.  It will just take me longer to get from point A to point B. I wondered if it was going to rain again.  It seemed there was not a cloud in the sky, except for a few fluffy, harmless-looking white puffs. No sudden storm was going to let me off the hook ten minutes in.  That was all right too.  Just keep going.

I had a vague thought to run up the hill to Herkimer College.  I wondered if I would make it.  I have previously stated that once I start up a hill it is almost a foregone conclusion that I will make it to the top.  The question was, would I start?  I  turned at Lou Ambers Drive.  I considered stopping at the spring for a quick sip, but it wasn’t that long  into the run.  Besides, I had been drinking water all day.  Surely I was hydrated (I’ll call you Shirley if I feel like it).

The road has a bit of an upslope, then goes level, then goes steeply up, around a curve and up some more.  I was still on the gentle upslope when the wind against me got even stronger.  It cost a great effort to move even at my middle-aged shuffle.  I decided I would NOT go all the way up the hill.  After all, I did not intend to write a blog post about the run.  I would not have to embarrassedly confess to my readers that I started up a hill and turned off.  I would turn off into the residential area (which I like to call the suburbs) and perhaps run a hill or two there.

The  wind got stronger yet.  I was not all the way up the upslope when I said, “To Hell with this!” and turned around.  The wind almost immediately died down rather than give me a nice push. I have to wonder about that.  Was it all psychological? Or maybe a ghost?  I ask these questions now as I write this. At the time I merely felt a grim  satisfaction at having said, “To hell with it.”

I went through the parking lot of Salvatore’s, because there was some nice shade. I spent a good part of the rest of the run looking at my watch to make sure I at least ran twenty minutes.   It looked as if I would just make it. My body was not feeling any happier with me. I knew I could keep going, but it was not going to get fun.  I thought, “If I’m not into it by now, I am not going to be into it today.”

When I got back to my street, my run unexpectedly lengthened. I had crossed the street, which put me on the same side as a little dog.  I  did not want to disturb the dog, so I continued down the  block and ran up the street parallel to mine.  I felt vaguely pleased with myself over this.  The run still wasn’t fun, but I knew I could keep going.  Many of us, I reflected, can keep going for longer than we think  we can.

I ended up running for 28 minutes.  It would have been nice to make it at least a half hour, but I felt happy that I had gone over my self-mandated twenty.  As I walked my cool-down, I complimented some neighbors on a beautiful new porch they are putting up.  They said thank you. Perhaps now I can go  sit on my own perfectly attractive old porch.   Like I said, I’m tired.