Tag Archives: writing

A Labor of Lame

Posted on April 6, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I have about 12 minutes to make a blog post before the next episode of Dateline: Secrets Uncovered on Oxygen.  I want to sit on my couch and knit!  But I do not want to make this post tomorrow morning. I want to make it now.  So here I am.  I originally wanted to have a blog to get myself to write every day.  Alas, as Truman Capote once said, “That’s not writing, that’s typing.”  I have applied that quote to this blog before.

I just got back from the last rehearsal for Murder by the Book, the murder mystery we are doing tomorrow at Morning Star Methodist Church in Ilion, NY (see Wednesday’s post for more information).  Last night I had rehearsal for Morning’s at Seven, the full-length play I am in at Ilion Little Theatre.  I have had rehearsal for one or the other all week, feeling grateful that I did not have any days of two rehearsals (but only because Monday’s second rehearsal got cancelled).  I am rehearsaled out! I know, I know, that should be “rehearsed out.”  Sometimes the grammatically correct expression just doesn’t feel right (feel write?).

Have I mentioned yet that today is Lame Post Friday?  Or did you perhaps catch on by the title?  And I see I am over 200 words, just in the introductory paragraphs.  Do I dare hit Publish on this meager nonsense?  YES! Happy Friday, folks!  Let’s all hope for a better post on Saturday.

 

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It Will Probably Be a Monstrous Monday

Posted on April 1, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

Here’s a funny thing: in the past I have been posting at 4:30(ish) in the morning because I am posting late for the day before. Today I am posting early for TODAY!  I call that progress.  You see, I got up early for a different reason (not worth recounting), so I have a few minutes extra time, which I will not have tonight, so…

Still, this isn’t going to be much of a post.  I cannot completely disrupt my morning routine, or this will be an even more Monstrous Monday than usual.  I don’t even know how far down my Media Library I will scroll to find a few monster pictures to post.  Lame Post Monday?  Let’s not call it that; it only reminds me how far away Friday seems (which is not a completely bad thing, since I have a murder mystery on Saturday I am still getting ready for).

“You’re just getting up? It’s almost my bedtime!”

I’m thinking vampires hate summer, because they must spend more time hiding from the sun.  Then again, maybe they like the extra sleep.  I do not purport to know how a vampire feels, although I do not rule out guessing for the sake of fiction.

“Put my head back, you monster!”

Not exactly a monster, but two horror movie icons, Peter Lorre and Vincent Price (yes, I know I did not need to tell some of you).  It is an appropriate picture for me, because this week I may be running around like the proverbial chicken with its head cut off (writer’s trick:  you can use a cliche if you insert the words “the proverbial” in there; it’s kind of like “sic” but more hip) (or do I flatter myself?).

I know just how he feels. Come to think of it, I know pretty much how she feels, too.

A splash of color and a big ape to close this week’s Monstrous Monday post.  I gotta run now; I’m missing my Local on the Ones.  I feel more secure once I’ve heard the weather report.

 

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No Scatter to my Saturday

Posted on March 31, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

Yesterday (Saturday) morning, when I was making Friday’s post, I had a headache.  I thought to myself, “Look what I can do with a headache!”  I was making a note to myself that I can so post under adverse circumstances.  Well, who knew that headache would blow up into a full blown migraine (oh, YOU probably did) (you know who you are).  It was the sort of headache where I could not do anything else but have a headache, if you know what I mean.  It faded to manageable proportions eventually but left me too drained to do much besides lie on the couch and watch Cold Justice, my new favorite show.

The other bad thing about yesterday was that I did not have any Mohawk Valley adventures to blog about, unless you call walking to the local lab to have them take a couple of vials of blood.  It was a 12-hour fasting blood test, and I had not even had any black coffee, which I understand is allowed.  Maybe that was my problem, although I would think the coffee I had while making my blog post would have cured it.

In short, yesterday was a true blogger’s sick day, with yours truly unable to even type a whiny post about how I could not make a post.  And today’s post is really, really lame.  However, technically, this is not today’s post but Saturday’s post.  I still have time to redeem myself with Sunday’s post.  Preview of coming attractions:  I have rehearsal for Morning’s at Seven at Ilion Little Theatre.  I hope to bring my tablet and take a few pictures.  A little illustration always livens up the post.  As always, I hope you’ll stay tuned.

 

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In Search of Oomph

Posted on March 27, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I am back to last week’s malady: posting the next morning for the day before.  I just couldn’t make myself do it.  Full disclosure:  I did not try very hard.  Let us not delve into the sordid reasons why I was having a Bad Attituesday (OK, they were not exactly sordid, but I felt the need to be dramatic just then) (regular readers will understand) (did you notice how I refrained from calling you Shirley?  That was what I first typed in) (I don’t have to explain that joke, do I?) (but I digress).

So I guess this is going to be a post with lots of parenthetical comments, to disguise the fact that, as usual, I got nuthin’.  In fact, I had a few things I could type about yesterday, but, as I mentioned, I lacked the oomph.  I think that is one thing writers need above all other things: Oomph.  Where exactly does one get oomph?

Ah yes, I was afraid somebody would say that it comes from within.  I have known for years that motivation follows action. You can sit there and say, “I just don’t feel like it,” or you can start to do whatever “it” is, and soon you will feel motivated to continue.  Well, if that magic formula worked every time, we would not continue to feel so discouraged when we just didn’t feel like doing it, now, would we?  Because it cannot be denied that it does not always work.

However, today it seems to be working out just fine for me.  Here I am over 250 words.  It could be the addition of coffee that is responsible.  Or it could be that these are, I admit it, not particularly inspired words.  I was going to say “interesting,” but how do I know what other people are interested in?  To each his own, as the old lady said when she kissed the cow.  If you have read thus far, thank you for playing.  I hope you’ll tune in later today for what might turn out to be yet another Wuss-out Wednesday Post.

 

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Too Much on my Lame Plate

Posted on March 23, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

How embarrassing.  I get caught up by making my Thursday post on Thursday, then fail to make my Friday post on Friday.  I confess to getting a good laugh at myself.  I set up my rules.  I break my rules.  I make contingency rules.  It is not easy being me, but it can be entertaining.  Seriously, how lame is it to not even make a lame post on Lame Post Friday?  Yet I have similarly failed before.  Well, I could have posted last night, but at the time sleep seemed more important.  We make our choices.  The Spanish have a saying, take what you want and pay for it, says God.

Well, I got a bit of philosophy into that first paragraph.  I won’t call it half-baked, though, because I have always liked that expression.  Most of my philosophy falls into the half-baked category.  Full disclosure:  I have never read much “real” philosophy.  I’m afraid it would make my head hurt.

In the meantime, my life could have gotten less complicated after today, but I fear it will not.  Again, it will be my own fault.  Today is the murder mystery for the Herkimer County Historical Society, A Trivial Murder.  I still have a prop to make, and I’d better go over my lines again.  And figure out what to wear.  I wonder if I can find my purple hair dye.  My character might have purple hair.  But I digress.  The point is, it will be one thing off my plate.  But I have added one, possibly two more. What the hell, me?

The item I have definitely added will not even get going for another month or two.  A friend is putting together a Mummer performance for the Great American Irish Festival at the Herkimer County Fairgrounds in July.  I have never been to the Irish Festival.  I believe beer is involved.  I have also never been a Mummer.  It is a traditional Irish kind of guerrilla theatre.  I will definitely post more about it later.

The other thing that I can’t quite bring myself to say no to involves writing a few scenes about Roscoe Conkling, owner of one of the famous mansions on Rutger Street in Utica.  Theatre AND writing.  How can I not do it?  But it is coming up soon, and the scenes need to be staged as well, so I am trying to find out how simply we can get away with doing it, and how much help I will have.  We’ll see how it plays out (see what I did there?).

In the meantime, this must count as my Lame Friday Post, typed in Saturday morning over coffee (THANK GOD for coffee!).  I will strive to make today’s post TODAY, before I am off for what I hope will be another theatrical triumph (I feel certain it will be, relying on the awesome talent of my cast mates and the readiness to be entertained of our audience).  Happy Weekend.

 

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Look, Everybody: Thursday’s Post ON Thursday!

Posted on March 22, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

So what is it with me?  Last night I stared at a blank WordPress Add New Post screen and my whole body said, “No.”  This morning it said nothing: all was blank.  I managed to type something  so, yay, me, I guess (perhaps you read it, if so, thank you and sorry).  Right now I am sitting at a break table in my place of employment and the blank page of my notebook stared at me accusingly, still I started writing in it (this nonsense which I now type into the blank WordPress Add New Post screen; I feel quite self-referential).

My script for Morning’s at Seven (you may remember, the play I’m in at Ilion Little Theatre) is mocking me:  “You’ll never learn these lines!”  Well, I can ignore the script, at least.  My brain has never failed me in that way. Knock wood.  At least, I can’t ignore the script if I am going to learn my lines, but I can ignore the mocking.

I thought I might write about how I got myself into this mess, but the more I think about it, the more I think that it really does not put me in a good light.  Apparently it is possible to reach middle age (if in fact I live to be 110) and still not know how to manage one’s time.  Can an old drama queen learn new tricks?  I hope so.

In the meantime, I have got to stop making these blog posts in which I meander on about how I can’t make a blog post, I have to much to do, etc. etc.  I don’t now how soon I can get to that.  After all, tomorrow is Lame Post Friday, and thank God for that!  However, I am typing in Thursday’s post ON Thursday (at least according to my watch if not my WordPress timestamp), so perhaps I am showing signs of improvement.  As always, thank you for playing.

 

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Not a Timely Post

Posted on March 21, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I have wussed out on Wednesday to this extent before, but let’s not talk about that.  I guess all my posts this week are going to be I Missed Posting on the Day, So Here’s a Late Post.  Can I break the pattern?  Time will tell.  Time is certainly a blabbermouth.  That is a joke I like to make.  My sister Diane says, “Time is relative.  Not our relative. But I digress.

At first I made those jokes in parentheses, but then I thought of the headline and brought them out into the main text. I wonder if the words feel better out in the open or safer in the parentheses?  Yes, I anthropomorphize almost anything.  But with words, I am not the first. I distinctly remember in Alice in Wonderland (which I read more than once as a child, although I refused to watch the movie in later years) the Caterpillar misusing a word and saying, “When I used a word, it means when I pay it to mean!”  That may not be the exact quote, but he goes on to speak fondly about how they all eagerly await their wages on payday.

Well, now I’m talking about time AND Alice in Wonderland (which I ought to read again; perhaps I could find the annotated version), the the headline is less apt.  Then again, I’m posting Wuss-out Wednesday at 4:30 on Non-Sequitur Thursday morning.  I say it’ll do.  Will I break the late post curse?  I hope you’ll stay tuned to find out.

 

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Tardy Tired Tuesday

Posted on March 20, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

I knew yesterday morning I would be late for this post, and when I thought of this title, I didn’t mind so much.  Anyways, I mean to make Wednesday’s post today, on Wednesday, by my clock if not by my WordPress timestamp (why does my computer not recognize “WordPress” as a word?  According to the website, it powers a good percentage of the internet) (but I digress).

I had two rehearsals last night so left the house prior to 5 p.m.  I might have been able to type in something, but I felt too flustered.  I left my second rehearsal early, because I was feeling ill so went to bed without getting on the computer at all.  I am still not feeling 100 percent, so we can call this a blogger’s sick day as well.  Tomorrow I have two rehearsals again. Oh dear.

One might be tempted to point out to me that I am too old to burn the candle at both ends.  Well, the joke’s on that know-it-all, because I could NEVER burn the candle at both ends.  Oh, I’ve tried.  I’ve always tried.  There are just so many good things to do sometimes!  Additionally, one must work for a living, overtime if possible, because, you know, money (not that I’m one of those money-grubbing individuals, but sometimes a little extra comes in handy) (but, once again, I digress).

I see I am over 200 words.  As usual (and how embarrassing that it has become SO usual), I apologize for a foolish post.  Undaunted, but feeling a little silly (that is a quote from a friend), I drive on.  Happy Tuesday/Wednesday, everyone!

 

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Monstrously Late Post

Posted on March 19, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

Is this my new pattern?  Posting the next morning for the day before but missing that day’s post so that the next morning… etc., etc., ad infinitum (isn’t that how you spell ad infintum? I’m too lazy to look it up).  A little self-dramatizing, aren’t I?  It’s only been two days, for heavens’ sake!  Never mind that, on with the post and let’s see if I can at least get up to 200 words today.

“What’s this? Another late post? At least it isn’t dawn yet!”

When in doubt, throw in a monster.  I do love me some Nosferatu (1922).

“It’s all right, dear. These things happen.”

Doesn’t he look as if he is giving the young lady good advice?  I loves me some Julie Adams and Creature of the Black Lagoon (1954), too.

So it’s pretty obvious I don’t have much to say.  I don’t feel I should go on and on about how busy I am.  For one thing, as a friend once said, “Save your sympathy for those who are too busy to tell you how busy they are.”  Am I too busy to type how busy I am?  Apparently not, but why go on and on about my own admittedly self-imposed ills?

“Cheer up, dearie. You made a blog post!”

I close with our own delightful witch, from Pumpkin Junction in Sauquoit, NY.  It will be a few months before I made a real post about them again, but, as they say, time flies!  Late Happy Monday, everyone!

(Over 200 words!  Yay, me!)

 

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Late But Certainly Wrist to Forehead

Posted on March 18, 2019 by mohawkvalleygirl

OK, so I missed making Sunday’s post on Sunday.  I have to leave for work soon, so I can’t do one now, BUT I can share a few pictures I took at the HALO Chinese Auction.

My crowd shots didn’t turn out so good.

This nice lady sold me a hot dog.

And here’s the nice bartender.

Ah, you say, with the picture of the bartender, all becomes clear.  Or maybe blurry.

No matter.  I am nowhere near my self-imposed standard of 200 words, yet I must sign off now.  Tune in later for what I hope will be a better post.

 

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