Category Archives: humor

From Witch to Watch

Posted on July 8, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Oh, I  tried to write a blog post this morning.  There I was, on a break at work, snack at my side, notebook open… and I did a cryptogram puzzle I cut out of the newspaper.  Then I felt properly ashamed of myself and began writing a post about a cheesy movie I watched recently.  I had been thinking about the movie while I was working (as I have mentioned many times, you can do that with my job).  First I couldn’t remember the title or the plot.  Then when I remembered the title, parts of the plot came back to me.  I even thought of a few witty things to say about it (or do I flatter myself?) (we can’t tell till I write the post).

I got a few sentences out, but it just was not working well.  It was kind of a relief when break ended.  I cravenly stuck with cryptograms  and crossword puzzles during lunch (how’s that for a nice bit of alliteration?  I may use that for the title, thus blowing any chance of this being a true Non-Sequitur Thursday).

You can disregard that last parenthetical comment; I’m sticking with my first headline.  However, since I intend to explain said headline, this may not count as Non-Sequitur Thursday after all.  No matter, because I want to tell you about the Watch.

I’ve mentioned that I am in Much Ado About Nothing with LiFT Theatre Company in Little Falls.  I am the Friar.  At rehearsal last night, the director asked me if I would mind taking another small part.  Of course I never turn these things down.  More stage time? Another character?  I’m in!  The part is Second Watch.  I’m this homespun, uneducated farmer-type who has been recruited to be on the watch.  I don’t want to give anything away, but it’s a pretty funny part, and there are not many lines for me to learn.

One reason I think it is so fun to be Second Watch is that some time ago, when I was in a scene from MacBeth, directed by the same fellow who is currently directing, I was the Third Witch (wouldn’t it have been so cool if I had been the Second?  You can’t have everything).  I wrote several blog posts about it.  Perhaps you read one or two of them.

I will write more about Second Watch and Much Ado About Nothing in days to come. I hope to also finish that post about the movie.  I shall also get back to that list I mentioned in an earlier post this week.  I’m thinking I’d better get a move on if I want to cross out any more items.  Happy Thursday, everyone.

 

 

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Return to the So Sweet

Posted on July 7, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

I’ve talked about my friend Margaret’s shop, the So Sweet Candy Cafe in Utica, NY.  I thought I’d give her another brief shout-out, in lieu of the Wuss-out Wednesday post that has been lurking in my brain all day.

Ever since I went to the So Sweet once, I’ve been looking for an opportunity to bring my husband Steven there.  He would love it!  However, when I got the opportunity to go without him, I did not hesitate, because, yum.  My older sister, Vicki was in town, and she had not visited the So Sweet yet.  Vicki and Margaret were best friends back in the day (we did not use the term BFFs nor yet besties).

It is the cutest little shop. Once again I noticed candies remembered from my childhood:  Boston Baked Beans, Lemonheads, bubble gum cigars.  I could not resist a few of the caramels with sugar in the midde:  3 for 75 cents, who could argue?  For Steven, I got a large brownie and two chocolate chunk cookies (full disclosure:  according to my evil plan, I ate one of the cookies and half the brownie).  These tasty delights were made by Margaret.  What a great talent!  I also grabbed a bottle of water, because, you know, hydration.

I still have not gotten a cup of coffee or tea and sat for a while.  I hope to do that one day soon.  Either I will bring a notebook and write (as Hemingway used to do in cafes), or I will bring Steven and visit.  Either way will be, you guessed it, so sweet.

The So Sweet Candy Cafe is located at 531 Varick St., Utica, NY.  Phone number 315-765-6463.

 

 

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Back to Work, But Not on the Blog

Posted on July 6, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

So I went back to work today.  I did not bring a puzzle book or anything to read.  I brought a notebook and pen, because I was going to write.  I would not be forced to have a Tired Tuesday or Bad Attituesday.  I was going to write a real post!

First I wrote a to-do list for the week. I was having one of those days when I thought that getting my act together was an actual possibility.  I suppose it is really under the heading Keep Dreaming.  Then again, if we don’t go for these things, we’ll never know how much we can accomplish.  I’ll keep you posted on how I do with it.

After finishing the list, I turned a page or two back and wrote two more lines on the Banana Play.  I had thought I might finish that play on my week off (see above paragraph about having my act together and Keep Dreaming).   I have also been thinking, “Oh, nobody really expects me to finish that damn play.  It isn’t very good anyways.  I should start a new novel instead and finish that instead.”  Yet I managed to write a little.

Still not feeling up to a blog post, I found a blank page and began a letter to someone I have not written to in a while.  I thought this was a good thing to do because, for one reason, it is good to send somebody a letter.  For another reason, I told her about some of the Mohawk Valley adventures I’ve had recently.  I thought I might get inspired to write a blog post or two.  Unfortunately, my break was not that long.

Back at work, I was thinking in a vague sort of way about my Banana Play when I had some GREAT ideas about what could come next.  Almost a whole new direction for the plot and a couple of the characters.  This was cool.  I couldn’t wait to get back to my notebook!

Bottom line is, I do not feel too bad about not writing a blog post earlier today.  One might think I could just write one now, but it seems beyond me.  I don’t know why that is.  Some days I sit at the keyboard and compose a perfectly acceptable post about an area event, attraction or business.  Some days not so much.  What, I ask, are you going to do?  Well, I hope you are going to still read my blog tomorrow.  What I’m going to do is publish this post and see if I can’t write a few more lines on the Banana Play.

 

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Not Independent from Bad Movies

Posted on July 5, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

OK, it’s really one bad movie, one good movie and one… eh (making that so-so motion with one hand).  It is Independence Day, or the 4th of July.  Some people don’t like it when you say the 4th of July, but I wasn’t in love with that movie Independence Day, so I stopped using that phrase for a while (and now I hear there’s a sequel that’s even worse!).  (Full disclosure:  I was moderately entertained by Independence Day and do not rule out seeing it again) (I do not intend to watch the sequel, although it cannot be denied that shit happens).

Where was I? Ah yes, celebrating our country’s birthday.  Not really.  I do patriotic things when the opportunity arises, I try to honor my country always; today I’m just enjoying a day off with my beloved husband Steven and our recently acquired pooch, Spunky.  We had a lazy start to the day, although I eventually went running, did laundry and took the dog for a walk.  My main object of the day was to watch some movies.  That is what I will concern myself with in this blog post.

We started with The Vampire Bat, a DVD we purchased at Valley Exchange in Herkimer, NY.  It was not very far into the movie that I realized we had seen it before.  It is in fact included on our collection of 50 Horror Classics. I wrote a blog post about it.  The movie was 73 minutes according to my calculations, not 63 as claimed on the box.  Steven said it seemed longer.

Steven suggested Jaws next, as something that moves a little quicker.  We have watched this movie many times; it is one of our favorites, especially on the 4th of July (we also saw it once on Severed Head Sunday, which I also wrote a blog post about).  Next we put in a video cassette I purchased at a rummage sale, Monster from Green Hell. I can’t tell you much about that, because, quite frankly, I paid even less attention to it than I pay to most of the silly movies we watch. I’ll have to watch it again to write about it.

We stopped watching movies after the Monster and are looking at crime shows on cable television.  A Dateline on ID just started that we have already seen more than once.  I must stop blogging and find another show to watch. I hope you are all having a grand weekend.  I go back to work tomorrow.  Won’t that be fun?

 

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Philosophical Thoughts on a Dead End Run

Posted on July 4, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

I am on the penultimate day of my factory shut-down (I don’t like to call it vacation, because it wasn’t my idea to take this week off) (incidentally, I love the word penultimate), and I have had a grand week of running.  Today makes the ninth day in a row I ran.  Both Wednesday and today I made up my mind not to run, sat down had coffee, went about enjoying my morning, then ran anyways.  I feel pretty damn pleased about that too.  I was about to make my usual Wrist to Forehead Sunday post when I thought, why not mix it up a little with a Running Commentary instead.  It’s been a few hours since the actual run, but I think I can remember the highlights.

My first plan had been to run up the hill to Herkimer College (which I still often call H-triple-C).  However, as I approached the end of my street, I saw a pair of runners running in that direction.  Of course I didn’t KNOW they were headed for the college.  Still, I did not want to follow them even for a little ways.  For one reason, they were running in the road and I run on the sidewalk.  I suppose these things shouldn’t bother me, but what did it hurt that I ran in the opposite direction?  Not me.

It was actually a little better.  Yesterday I ran up a longer, almost as steep hill out Steuben Street, and today I wanted to up my run time by the recommended 10 percent, so I thought a fairly flat run might feel good.  As it happened, I went up a few minor hills, so everything was delightful.

I decided to do my Dead End Run.  That is when I run up and down the dead end streets off German Street.  I began by running up Main Street then over and down the nice path over the former hydraulic canal.  Technically, I should have gone up another block to the end of Main Street, which is a dead end up a rather steep hill.  But then I would not have turned around, because pedestrians can continue past the end.  From there I could have continued up, but there is no sidewalk and it was getting later in the morning.  More traffic could be expected.  Anyways, I had decided on a flattish run.

As I ran, I reflected on the philosophical aspects of the Dead End Run (usually half-baked philosophy from me).  One might think it could be depressing:  this is metaphorical; my life is a dead end.  But as I ran, I realized it was not true.  I have had dead end jobs, been in dead end relationships and worked on many dead end writing projects.  However, none of them were a waste of time.  You can always learn something from any experience, even one that does not end well (some would argue “especially from one that does not end well,” but I am disinclined for argument this afternoon).

The first lesson I learned, on the first dead end I ran down, was that a dead end is not always a dead stop.  At the end of my first dead end street (one that was not off German Street, by the way), there is a little space a pedestrian can go through and be on a regular road.  So a dead end is not always as bleak as it seems; you don’t always have to just turn around and go back.  But even turning around and going back is not all bad.  For example, by running up and down dead end streets, I am getting exercise.  I was also entertaining myself by looking around at the houses and by composing my blog post in my head.  I get ideas for my own porch, garden and yard.  I think of ideas for stories by pondering what sort of people live in the places I see.

It is likewise with dead end jobs and relationships.  They can be educational, occasionally entertaining, and give one lots of ideas for stories.

I felt quite pleased with my thoughts this morning.  I think I even remembered the best ones for inclusion here.  At least I have gotten a blog post of respectable length out of it.  As for the run, I completed 45 minutes, as I had set out to do. I plan to run again tomorrow.  Then I’ll do some major fist pumping and say, “Yes! Yes! Ten days!” and if I run up the hill to the college I’ll say, “Yeah, I’m bad!”

 

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Spunky Start to Scattered Saturday

Posted on July 3, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

How about a Scattered Saturday instead of a Slacker Saturday.  I think I could manage a brief re-cap of today’s activities.  I have quite a headache currently, sorry to complain, and I really just feel like sitting here and chilling.  However, I like to make a blog post every day, and I do not want to put off making today’s any longer.  I know, I know, enough with the excuses, get on with the post.  OK, I will.

Our dog Spunky barked at 5:01 this morning.  I looked at the clock.  For once I let Steven keep sleeping a little longer and got up to take Spunky for his first business meeting of the day.  I got dressed in running clothes, so I could go for my run right after.  I have run eight days in a row.  That may be a record for me.  A little later I wrote some postcards and walked to the post office with Spunky.  Spunky doesn’t seem to like long walks, but he can make it to the post office and back.

By noon I was headed to my sister Cheryl’s house for more adventures.  My sister Vicki was in town, along with her husband and offspring, and Vicki had not yet been to the So Sweet Candy Cafe, which is owned by her great childhood friend, Margaret.  I, of course, am always up for another visit to a candy shop.  I purchased a few treats while I was there.  Vicki and Margaret had a nice if brief visit.

After leaving the So Sweet, we walked down Varick Street to the Mohawk Valley Winery.  We tasted some wine and, yes, I purchased a bottle.  We were disappointed to find out we needed to make an appointment to tour the Adirondack Distilling Company.  I said we must make an appointment for next time.

Next we drove to Clinton and went into a number of wonderful little shops.  My only purchase was at the Adirondack Cheese Company, but I will certainly return to the other stores when I have a little more cash to spend.

Perhaps as the week goes on, I can write longer blog posts about some of my Scattered Saturday activities.  For now, I’m going to nurse my stupid head and hang out with my nice dog.  I hope you’re all having a lovely Saturday.

 

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Zen and the Art of Lame Post Friday

Posted on July 2, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Friday just is.

And explanation of that first sentence.   I was about to write a complete sentence then thought, “Oh hell, I’ll just make my blog post later.”  I didn’t realize WordPress had saved it till I logged back in and saw I had an untitled draft.  Naturally I clicked Edit.  At first it looked as if WordPress had saved a blank screen, and I said, “How appropriate.”   Then the above sentence fragment appeared, and I kind of liked it.

The second paragraph was composed on our tablet, you know, one letter at a time with the stylus, till the word I want appears above the keyboard.

Now I’m back on the laptop.  Aaahhhh…  I still don’t have anything to say, but it sure is a lot quicker to ramble on. The first sentence was going to be a reflection that Friday is different when it is the end of a vacation week.  Then I thought, well, duh. I have spent most of today reminding myself that this is still a three day weekend for me.  If I had worked all week and was at the beginning of a three day weekend, I’d be pretty damn happy, wouldn’t I?  Well, then.

So  I am reasonably content with my lot in life tonight.  Three more days till I return to the beastly grind, which, as I may have said, is not particularly beastly nor even grind-like.  I am actually feeling kind of zen about it.  I guess somebody who knows a lot about zen would tell me I am misusing the expression quite disgracefully. I did read a book about zen once:  Zen and the Art of Archery, I think it was, no idea who wrote it.  My cello teacher recommended it to me. She was kind of a weirdo, although I remember being quite impressed with her when I was a high school student.

What I mean by “feeling kind of zen” is, the first sentence sounds oddly appropriate to me.  Then again, perhaps the blank screen would have been better.  Discuss amongst yourselves.  I must get back to enjoying my three day weekend.

 

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Me and the Bard

Posted on July 1, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

Well, it has been  while since I made a flying post before hurrying off to a rehearsal, hasn’t it?  If I wasn’t such a theatre junky, it would be longer yet.  What the blankety-blank was I thinking, saying I would be in a play?  Oh yeah, I like to be in a play.  And it is so flattering to be asked.  And I really, truly have a difficult time saying no.

Be all that as it may, I am sitting in my living room, typing on the laptop and sipping iced coffee, and debating what best to do.  To update anybody just tuning in, or regular readers who have forgotten, I am to play the Friar in Little Falls Theatre Company’s production of Much Ado About Nothing.  The first rehearsal for my character is tonight.  I have been learning my lines from a Yale Shakespeare copy of the play.  I had been going to use my Complete Works of Shakespeare, but I foolishly misplaced it.  How does one misplace a large yellow book, you may ask.  What can I say, I have unusual talents.

Two friends came to my rescue when I lamented the loss on Facebook.  One sent me a link to the Complete Works online.  The other had a collection of the plays, each play its own little volume, that she no longer wanted.  While we made arrangements for me to get the books, I logged onto the link and got started.  I have been looking at the lines almost every day since.

As I feared, learning Shakespeare is not as easy as learning other lines.  For one reason, a couple of my speeches run a little long.  For another reason, well, you know, Shakespeare.  I love Shakespeare.  When I read a Shakespeare play, my brain (or is it my soul?) gives in a little sigh of contentment.  But memorizing it is just a trifle more difficult than regular old dialogue.  I say this not in a complaining spirit but in a little embarrassment that I do not yet know my lines.  I like to learn my lines right away.

It really is no matter though.  Also, it is no matter than I have been out in the sunshine all day having Mohawk Valley adventures.  Tired?  Ha!  No brain for learning lines?  Ha!  The show must go on!  Rehearsal will be fun!  And I have written a blog post.  I am not entirely satisfied with my title, but then again, this is Non-Sequitur Thursday.  It will have to do.

 

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Good Chips at Arthur’s

Posted on June 30, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

When Steven and I were out adventuring in Newport yesterday, we knew we wanted to go out to lunch but we didn’t know where.  I said it was too bad we were not in the vicinity of Dolgeville, or we could go to Arthur’s.  Steven did not think it would be a too far drive, and he was right.  It was actually a fun drive over country roads.  Once we got to Dolgevile, we found our destination with no problem (I have only been to Dolgeville a very few times).

We had been to Arthur’s one time previously, when I was getting my head shaved for a St. Baldrick’s Day Fundraiser (perhaps you read one of my blog posts about it).  We had some drinks and food and a lot of laughs that day.  We’ve been meaning to get to Arthur’s again ever since, but, well, we just don’t eat out enough, that’s all.

We walked into the bar section and sat right down at the bar.  We like to sit at the bar.  We ordered drinks and spent a lot of time looking at the menu.  Everything looked so good!  I finally decided on one of the specials, an Alamo Chicken Wrap. Steven got The Bird: turkey, bacon and provalone.  Both sandwiches came with homemade chips. I LOVE homemade chips!

When our food  arrived, the chips were even better than I expected.  I order homemade chips almost every time they are available, and these were among the best I have ever tasted.  The sandwich was quite delicious as well. We were very happy with our visit, and hope to return to Arthur’s soon.

Arthur’s American Restaurant is located at 19 South Main St, Dolgeville, NY, phone number 315- 429-9646.

 

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Run… Write… Now, Adventures!

Posted on June 28, 2016 by mohawkvalleygirl

After yesterday’s writing fiasco, I thought I should try writing first thing in the morning.  Then I ran first thing this morning.  I LOVE running in the morning.  I am sorry to report that I did not rush straight to pen or computer as soon a I had stretched and showered (I suppose some of you would have written when you were still sweaty and stinky or even before you ran at all, but I am not in competition with you) (you know who you are).  Nonetheless, it is still prior to 9 a.m., and I don’t need to start today’s Mohawk Valley adventures for yet a little while.

All this by way of introduction to today’s Running Commentary.

Today is the fourth day in a row I went running.  Yay me!  Yesterday afternoon when I took Spunky for a little walk,  I actually thought I would like to go for another run.  I did nothing so reckless but was happy to put on my sports bra and sneakers (yes, I wore other stuff as well, sorry if I gave you an unfortunate mental image) (but not real sorry) this morning and get going.

I carried a bottle of water.  I don’t really like carrying anything when I run, but I feared to become dehydrated.  Additionally, I planned to run in the direction of the spring and knew I could get a refill.  I have another awkward situation these days as well, because my wrist watch has become a waist watch.  That is, the band broke so I fasten it to my waistband with a safety pin.  When I run I tuck it into my bicycle shorts, so it doesn’t bounce.

My legs felt like they wanted a challenge, but I knew they would change their minds as I ran. I really should have written a Running Commentary about a previous run.  I had been going to run up to the college the front way, changed my mind three or four times and ended up running up the kick-butt way.  I had no intention of getting my butt kicked today.  Steven and I have adventures planned.

I noticed how German Street curves upward, especially on the side of it I was on.  I told myself that at least I was doing some uphill work.  It is not a particularly steep incline, though.  I ran up the hill by Valley Health, meaning to go on into what I call the suburbs, where I knew there are several hills of various grades.  I took a street I don’t usually run on and went from there.  Far from another uphill, this street looked as if it dropped off the face of the earth up ahead.  I prefer to run uphill for steep slopes, downhill on gradual slopes.  Luckily there was a left I could take.  This run was going fine.

Oh dear, was that a garbage truck up ahead?  It is garbage day in Herkimer.  The truck was a block or so ahead of me.  Which way was he going?  Was he moving at all?  Shouldn’t he be moving by now?  He was moving very slowly.  I’m not clear here on whether “he” refers to the driver or I was anthropomorphizing the truck (using “he” to mean “he or she,” so don’t ding me for sexism).  Then I realized it was not a garbage truck at all but the street cleaner.

I spent a good part of the rest of the run trying to avoid the street cleaner, an interesting occupation in that area, since none of the streets come out where I expect them to.  At one point I looked through some yards to see I was running parallel to the cleaner and not going a whole lot faster than he was.  How mortifying.  I took a couple of hills, admired several of the houses, especially the screened in porches, and kept sipping my water till it was gone.

After a wrong turn or two, I thought I was headed back toward Lou Ambers Drive and the spring.  Suddenly I found myself back on German Street, beyond where the sidewalk was.  Oh dear, cars go along this stretch very fast.  Luckily it was still early enough that there was no traffic.  I only had to go a block or so left side facing traffic (of course) to get to Valley Health, where there is a sidewalk.  I ran up the hill again.  I had never run up that side of Valley Health, so I felt pretty cool doing it now.

About this time I realized my legs felt warm and supple.  I was so rocking this run!  Soon I was headed towards Lou Ambers Drive, knowing for a change exactly where I was.  I realized that I was in shape for the DARE 5K in August.  That run, you may recall, goes up the hill to Herkimer College.  I love that run.  I thought to myself perhaps I could not rock that run right now, but I could at least run it.  And I  have almost two months more in which I can get in shape to rock it, yes!

I was mighty pleased with my run, and pretty pleased with myself for composing a real blog post thus early in the morning.  What wonderful things will I accomplish with the rest of my day?  I’ll be sure to write blog posts about them.

 

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