When overly flustered, pour yourself a large glass of iced coffee (or other beverage) and make a blog post. Perhaps I should get myself a t-shirt that says, “Keep Calm and Blog On.” I actually get a little tired of seeing those “Keep Calm” memes, t-shirts, etc. Sometimes I put as my Facebook status, “Stop telling me to calm down!!!” As another Facebook meme says (yes, I spend entirely too much time on Facebook), In the entire history of calming down, no one has ever calmed down as a result of being told to calm down.
That was a digression, but what else can I do on Lame Post Friday? I am off work today for a sad reason: I must go to a funeral. Perhaps “must” is a strong word. I want to be there to support friends and family, and to pay my respects to a nice lady who left us too soon. Getting the day off was no problem; my work is nice that way. Of course, being me, nothing else can be easy.
The flowers are for a cheery note. The glove is because I am about to talk about dressing up.
That is a photo from the past. I think things go down better with an illustration. So I had some problems getting ready for today.
Find something to wear? That should not be a problem: look at all the clothes I have. Yes, I have gained a little weight, but how much difference can five pounds make? Really four, because I think I took off a pound this week (my scale is ambiguous). It seems I am also bloated, possibly from salt intake. I crave salt when it is so hot and I sweat my (insert body part of your choice) off. I made a nice bowl of popcorn last night. I tried not to put too much salt on it, but of course one needs a certain amount. Anyways, there is fiber in popcorn. Shouldn’t that help?
Apparently not so much. I tried on several outfits to no avail. The only thing that sort of worked was a skirt that would only fasten up under my boobs. The blouse I had picked would cover that. Then I turned sideways and saw how fat I looked. Anyways, the skirt felt too tight even where I had fastened it. By now I was getting sweaty and irritable. Calm down, I told myself (as stated earlier, it did not help). I took a few deep breaths, sat in front of a fan, drank some coffee (hot at the time), played a little solitaire (with an actual deck of cards as God intended), then headed to the store.
Long story short (I know, too late): I found a dress that fits, is comfortable, and does not look too bad. That decision made, I proceeded to get flustered gathering accessories, deciding on jewelry, and getting together my overnight things (I am going to the funeral with my parents and intend to spend the night at their house). What about the dishes? What about that bill I had meant to mail today? What about my blog post?
As I often say, it’s not easy being me, but at least it is entertaining. And I hope my blog post has been entertaining. Tune in tomorrow when Mohawk Valley Girl is confused about what day it is, because she had Friday off.
Mohawk Valley Girl 